You Shouldn't Let Kids Tag Along When You're Drinking
by Rei-chu Asakura
AN: This is my first OkiKagu fic, I hope you'll like it! ^_^ I don't know if it's sweet enough, but I guess we can call it fun stuff, hence the genre I indicated. XD Anyway, I disclaim the stuff that's not mine~~ Please tell me your comments after reading~ you'll be one of the nicest persons I've known if you do that! XD
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"Ne, Gin-chan, how long are you going to stay here? I'm getting bored." Kagura yawned, scratching the back of her neck in the process. She then leaned back on the couch where she was seated and lazily eyed the silver-haired man to her left –the man in the center of one of the U-shaped booths of Snack Smile.
"I told you to go home already." Gintoki made a shoving gesture with his hand. "I'm old enough to take care of myself, isn't that right, girls?" He flashed a devious grin to the women on his left and right before snaking his arms around their shoulders and pulling them closer.
"I can't do that," Kagura said as she leaned over to grab a piece of fruit from the just-arrived platter. "Anego told me to watch you in her stead because she can't come to work today due to her cold."
"You've watched me for an hour already. It's more than enough. You can go home and sleep now," the samurai replied while holding out his cup to the girl who was filling it with sake.
"I still have to knock you out and drag you home the moment you do something perverted. Anego told me so," the Yato girl nonchalantly stated while chomping on her slice of watermelon, making Gintoki choke on his drink. "But I'm not sure if wrapping your arms on them counts as perverted. Should I knock you out now? I wanna go home anyway." The two girls moved away from Gintoki as Kagura leaped onto her feet and did some arm-stretching.
"Oi oi, you're scaring them." Gin stopped her and comforted the girls at the same time. "Why don't we just settle this the Kagura way." He brought out his wallet and fiddled the cash it contained. "I'll give you money for sukonbu- no, make that meat buns, so you can have something to munch on as you sleep. Deal?" He waved the bills he was handing out to her, but Kagura just shook her head at him and sat back on the couch. After a few seconds of shock, realization hit him and he laughed at himself. "Silly me, of course winning big in pachinko is something out of the usual. Here's a raise." He handed her the money that just doubled in thickness. "Call? Check? Don't be shy, Kagura, I won't tell Otae. We're partners in crime, right?" Wriggling eyebrows and a mischievous smile kept convincing the girl. She looked like she was about to get fooled, but in the end, she wasn't.
"I can't do that, Gin-chan." Frowning, she pushed his hand away. "A sick person's wish is more important. If that person dies because of the illness, he or she would haunt you for not fulfilling your promise."
"No one dies from a simple cold, Kagura-chan." Gintoki's eyebrow couldn't help but rise. "And it's Otae we're talking about in here, the woman who can turn anything into poisonous black matter."
"That's exactly why! Anego is scary as a human. What more if she's a ghost?" was Kagura's reason that Gintoki couldn't refute. While he was wringing his semi-drunk mind for a comeback and Kagura was eating the grapes like they were just nuts, something from the entrance hall caught their attention. The girls of Snack Smile were crowding up as if a bigtime VIP or a celebrity just came in. This annoyed Gintoki a little and made Kagura curious. When their views were cleared, they were surprised to see...
"Hijikata-san, how many times do I have to tell you, whenever you get depressed, don't drink alone in your room," a sandy-haired lad told his companion. "Go out, drown yourself in alcohol, then start a fight and get beaten up or be hit by a car and die."
"I'm already sleepy, Sougo," replied the man who was struggling to keep himself standing straight. "I don't need any more alcohol. And I'm not depressed, mind you!"
"Oh, if it isn't Souichiro-kun!" Gintoki greeted and called their attention. "And Hijikata, tch."
"Danna." Upon recognition, Sougo dragged Hijikata by the collar towards Gintoki's table.
"What brings you two here, Souichiro-kun?" the silver-head gestured for them to have a seat.
"It's Sougo, Danna," the lad stated as he pushed Hijikata to sit beside Gintoki and the female hosts. He, himself, sat on the couch across Kagura, choosing not to line up with the alcohol-reeking men. "Anyway, this is where Kondou-san often drinks, right? Where he gets beaten up by Shinpachi's sister whenever he causes a fuss after getting drunk..." He turned to the new girls who approached their table. "I'd like to have that guy beaten up please." He pointed to Hijikata like a polite child ordering a kiddie meal. "Make him drunk enough to have a reason to cripple him. Don't worry, he has enough insurance money to pay the bill, in case he dies in the process," he instructed indifferently.
"Anego is not here so they don't have their ace warrior," Kagura butted in casually, still eating whatever was edible on the table. "But I'm here in her place to knock out Gin-chan. I can do that to Mayora too if he badly needs some beating."
"Oh, China, you're here," Sougo replied unenthusiastically. "You're so small, I didn't see you."
"Tsk, don't talk big, Shorty Sadist," she countered right away, not bothering to look at him.
Sougo just ignored her and stood up. "I'll leave Hijikata in your hands, Danna. Take care of him like you would any traitor or criminal."
"Wait wait! Where are you going?" Gintoki pushed him to sit down. "Join me here, Sou...ju-kun! It's rare to have a drink with you. It's on me; I won big today, you know."
"Thanks, Danna, but I-"
"I bet he's scared to be surrounded by girls or he can't handle alcohol~" Kagura snickered.
"What did you say?" Sougo glared at her, who was still busy eating.
"I bet Hijikata can only treat you to cheap sake. Poor kid, having an undependable senior," Gintoki ridiculed.
"Oi, yarou! I treat Sougo to anything like a respectable man would treat his younger brother." Hijikata rose from drunken silence. "And he's not only the best swordsman of Shinsengumi but also the best… drinker!"
"Oh yeah?" Gin responded in a smug tone. "Heh, in case you didn't know, Kagura is our best fighter in all fighting aspects, may it be brawling, eating, drinking… She's from the Yato clan, the strongest race in the universe. Do you think your best drinker can match up to her?"
"It'll be a piece of cake for our Sougo!"
"It'll be a piece of cupcake for our Kagura!"
Sougo just watched the two guys argue. It wasn't a brutal fight but it's enjoyable enough because they both looked stupid. Kagura, on the other hand, stopped eating for a moment just to say, "It doesn't sound right when Shinpachi's not here to play the straightman role and stop them..." She shrugged. "But who cares, ganbatte-aru yo, Gin-chan!"
"Kagura!" Gintoki handed the menu to her with all conviction he could muster. "Show these punks what you've got! I and my pachinko money will back you up!"
"You mean, I can order anything I like?" Her eyes widened in delight.
"Baka, it's a drinking competition!" The man hit her head with the booklet he was holding. "Order a drink like mine."
"But you said I'm too young to drink," she opposed, confusion evident in her young features.
"You've got my consent, don't worry. It's alright if your guardian allows you to drink," Gintoki reasoned. "Now go on and choose the strongest one they have. Show these guys how tough the Yorozuya's best fighter is!"
Kagura nodded and raised a fist before scanning the menu. "Fighto!"
"Sougo!" Hijikata also gave his subordinate a menu. "Order yours! I may not be a pachinko luck-striker but I and my life savings will back you up! Make the Shinsengumi proud!"
"Don't order me around, Hijikata-san," Sougo icily refused, pushing the booklet away.
"Someone's backing down already~" Kagura muttered. In a mocking way, she added, "Mommy, Mommy, I can't drink alcoholly~ I'm gonna get dizzy and throw up on my clothes~"
Gintoki laughed exaggeratedly just to tick off the man beside him. "Nice one, Kagura. You see that, Hijikata? Our Kagura has a high fighting spirit! She'll definitely win this."
Irritated, Hijikata attempted to shove the menu to Sougo once more but he was stopped upon seeing the lad call out to the waiter and say, "Give me whatever she orders. I couldn't let her look like she's winning with a kiddy drink while I drink something hard."
"Ah yes, a fight should be fair! Our Sougo's really smart, isn't he?" Hijikata had an ego boost. "A showdown is not all about fighting spirit. The smarter one draws the longer stick by calculation, not luck." He laughed proudly, purposely facing Gintoki as he did so.
"Then let's see for ourselves," challenged the silver samurai.
"Indeed." The Shinsengumi Vice Commander mirrored his confident smirk.
"Eto... This one looks nice, but I also like this one..." Kagura was having a dilemma in choosing. "Wah, this one has a cherry and orange on it! Oh, but this one has a miniature Yato umbrella, I want that!"
"Make up your mind, will you!" her guardian scolded.
"Ah! This one!" Kagura grinned at the waiter while pointing a certain drink. "It's colorful like a rainbow~"
"The Seven-layered Shot? Would that be all, okyaku-san?" asked the man in uniform.
"Do you even know what you're ordering?" was Sougo's side comment.
"Can you put a mini umbrella on my drink?" Kagura cheerfully asked, ignoring her rival's remark.
"Certainly." When the waiter left, the two adults resumed bragging to each other while drinking their sake. Kagura went on with eating, while Sougo sat back and observed the others.
"Why were you depressed and drowning yourself in alcohol anyway, Hijikata-san?" Gintoki asked with a hint of mockery.
"For the tenth time, I am not depressed! Can't a man drink on his own peaceful pace without having to give a reason for it?" the black-haired man exclaimed.
"I told him that today's my sister's death anniversary and he got out of his shift early to drink alone in his room," Sougo explained, trying to look uncaring. "I even caught him crying, but he kept denying it."
Gintoki was half-shocked and half-confused. "How could that happen when we're in Sazae-san format? We're in the same year over and over."
"Maybe the animators made a mix-up again," Kagura commented casually, which Sougo ignored when he answered, "That's exactly my point, Danna. That's how stupid Hijikata can be."
"Hey! There's nothing wrong with... reminiscing..." the mayonnaise-loving man was turning red like the mayonnaise cap. He was ready to say that it was induced by the alcohol should someone tease him about blushing.
Gin was about to make fun of him when the colorful drinks came, catching all their attention. Kagura took time to stare at her rainbow drink in awe. It was small, yet super vibrant. "Sugoi~" She then took the mini umbrella and carefully opened it wider. She giggled at her success before turning to her competitor to boast, knowing that he didn't have such a cute umbrella on his drink. To her surprise, though, Sougo just placed an empty shot glass on the table. "You finished it in a gulp?!" she asked like he just committed a crime.
"You're supposed to drink it in one go. That's why it's called a shot, stupid," the lad indifferently replied.
Hijikata just made a smug face at Gintoki while the latter coached, "Come on, Kagura! You can do that too. It's just like eating a piece of rainbow-colored sukonbu."
"But I want to look at it more-" When she saw Sougo's confident smirk, her blood boiled causing her to chug the rainbow mercilessly, leaving no trace of it in just a blink of an eye. The girls around Gintoki and Hijikata cheered as the first round ended.
"The first one to throw up loses," Sougo stated.
"Easy-piecey aru!" replied Kagura, wiping the corner of her mouth.
"Why don't you choose the next drink, Souichiro-kun?" said Gintoki, smiling like a scheming old man as he handed Sougo the menu. In his mind, 'Kagura doesn't know much about these things. She might pick either something worthless or something intoxicating. This guy would probably pick something just right.' With that, Sougo ordered something without taking time to mull over the choices.
"Put an umbrella on mine again!" Kagura cheerfully requested before digging the table for a snack.
When the waiter left, Hijikata chuckled, catching the Yorozuya team's attention. "You don't know what you've just done. It's like handing your little daughter to the prince of the Planet of Sadists as a sacrifice," he told Gintoki. The latter didn't let it affect him, as he tried to keep his cool while drinking.
"What did you order anyway?" Kagura faced Sougo.
"You'll see," he replied conceitedly without looking. He looked more interested in pricking the slice of apple in front of him with the cocktail sticks he found, enjoying the sight of an apple juicing out. Annoyed by his attitude, she stuck her tongue out to him and decided to just wait for the next drink.
When their order arrived, all except Sougo were surprised to see two flaming shots on the table. The drink was a red-orange layered mixture with a small fire set on the surface of the liquid itself. It was Kagura who got over the jaw-dropping shock immediately when she realized, "My mini umbrella's gonna burn!" She took it from the glass right away and checked if it was hurt anywhere. Then, the bigger problem hit her. How was she going to drink this thing?
Remembering that there were two of these flaming shits on the table, she thought of merely imitating what her opponent would do. She looked at Sougo, hoping to catch him drinking in action, only to be disappointed by his burp followed by his comment, "Fiery."
She stared at her drink. Now she was all alone. How could she drink this dangerous thing without getting her lips charred? How could she face tomorrow with a smile if her mouth would be blistered? As much as she denied it to herself, she was kinda scared. Then, as if he were able to read her mind, Coach Gintoki gave her the encouragement she needed, "Kagura, it's just like a strawberry-orange birthday cake! How do you gulp down a birthday cake?"
A smile made its way onto her lips as the thought clicked. "I know now!" She took the small glass in her hands, drew in a deep breath, then raised the glass a little, saying, "Omedetou!" In one swift move, she blew the flame away and gorged the shot. She hated to agree with her enemy but it was indeed fiery. The heat crawling down her throat even made her cough a little.
"You're gonna throw up now, China?" Sougo teased.
"In your dreams, Sadist!"
"Heh, your turn to choose, China." He handed her the menu but she pushed it away to his surprise.
She wanted to show off by acting like a pro and ordering without having to use the list. His initial reaction was already a starter, but she knew he would look even more amazed when she comes up with something that sounds so foreign yet so classy. "M-Mortein." Even Kagura, herself, was surprised. 'Where did I get that?' More confident now, she repeated, "I want the drink called Mortein." She glanced at the others and true enough, they -except for Sougo, tsk- seemed to be falling to her pretense.
But that was until the waiter spoke, "I'm sorry, okyaku-san, but-"
Lucky for Kagura, her boss was quick to think despite his drunken state. Scratching the back of his silver head as he stood up (and almost stumbled), he called, "Ano, waiter-san, can you show me where the toilet is?"
"Ah, certainly, okyaku-san." The man was about to call for another waiter's assistance but Gintoki stopped him.
"No, you see, there's something strange about your hairstyle, ano..." he read the guy's name tag, "Ketsu-kun." He draped an arm on the man's shoulder and dragged him away from their table.
"Okyaku-san, my name's Keshi. Please don't misread it that unpleasantly," the waiter muttered as they left.
"Since when has that natural perm guy been an expert on hairstyles?" Hijikata commented before guzzling down a shot.
"Ano, okyaku-san, the toilet is that way," they heard the waiter insisting while Gintoki used his drunkenness to his advantage and dragged the poor man towards the bar counter.
Smiling at her ally's support, Kagura boasted to her opponent, "You see that, Sadist? I know some drinks that you don't know!"
Sougo, on the other hand, remained calm as he forked a slice of melon and said before eating it, "As far as I know, Mortein is a kind of insecticide in another country." Like a sudden strike of lightning, this weakened Kagura's composure but she chose to believe in her partner. She knew he would pull some trick from his sleeve and save her like he always does, even if this situation isn't a grave one at all.
To Kagura's delight, Gintoki indeed came back with a trick, one in the form of a big sake bottle whose label was replaced by a scribbled "Mortein". When he set down the said bottle on the table, all except the cheerful Kagura threw him looks of disbelief. Having been used to this kind of stare whenever he does something out of the ordinary, he simply paid no attention to them and sluggishly said, "Ketsu-kun is busy with his hair so he asked me to bring this here."
"Gin-chan, you're really cool!" was the only way Kagura could put her happiness into words. She even stood up next to him, fists balled in enthusiasm and grinning candidly.
He merely gave her a pat on the head and tried to sound annoyed when he said, "You're really a pain in the ass, damn brat. Now make the Yorozuya proud."
"Ohh!" Kagura piped, raising a fist.
The third round started and this time, they were to drink the sake— er, Mortein. Sougo didn't bother arguing since he knew he can handle this drink anyway. At least the Yorozuya boss made it non-poisonous for them. On the contrary, his partner Hijikata kept on pestering Gintoki for cheating but the latter just ignored it and had a taste of his Mortein instead. It was different from the one they were drinking a while ago, its brand more known and its alcohol percentage higher. Finding it pleasing to his taste buds, he commended himself for his excellent choice.
Without wasting any time, the two teenagers started their fierce battle of 'Mortein' drinking. At first they each had a hostess to pour them a glass but as relentless as they've always been whenever they clash, they ended up pouring themselves their own shot –at a fast rate, that is. Since they were only sharing one big bottle, they had the chance to trash-talk when they were the one pouring and the opponent was the one gulping.
"You won't defeat me. I'm used to Gin-chan smelling like this whenever he gets home. It's like I've been drinking sake myself!"
"So you're admitting that this is just sake, China?"
"S-stupid! The label itself says Mortein!"
"Haha, whatever drink it is, you don't stand a chance against me."
"Says the one who's spilling the drink on his hand!"
"You kicked the table, that's why!"
"You're imagining things, Sadist. I guess you're drunk already, hahaha!"
"Stop spouting nonsense, China. I know you're already woozy."
"I am not. Wanna find out who's wobbly?"
"Sure. A side battle would be interesting."
And with the cooperation of their supportive seniors and the keen Snack Smile employees, the two engaged in different mini games to find out who's dizzier than who. One after another, ideas popped up and were put into action spontaneously. Of course their Mortein drinking didn't stop as they played. Hijikata even ordered another bottle, not wanting Gintoki to have an advantage to him even in the aspect of getting a drink for the kids.
The battling pair agreed that whoever wins in each game will get a chance to hit the other with the foam bat that was one of the props the club had. Sure, it was just made of soft material but if the one who will hit you is as sadistic as these two, the chances of getting knocked out is not totally zero.
The first game was building a pyramid out of playing cards – yes, the ever hard-to-construct tower. They were allotted 10 minutes to build it and the one who comes up with a taller one when the time runs out wins. As the people around cheered, including the other customers whose attention was caught, the two focused on the task. It was hard enough to keep their hand and vision steady, but the drinking had to continue. Every minute, a hostess would hand them each a shot of their drink. Sougo was leading at first, so Kagura was pressured to catch up. However, the tension only made her hit the corner of one card with another, causing the tower to collapse. Hearing her shriek, Sougo chuckled shortly, the smirk he was wearing irritating his opponent endlessly. But the mistake that caused him to fail rose from this very act. The short shot of breaths from his laughter hit the cards on their critical spot, causing the tower to collapse as well. By this time, Kagura has already started her second attempt. She made sure to stifle her laugh properly, learning from her enemy's mistake. He eyed her fiercely before restarting. As badly as he wanted to catch up with her, the pressure and the alcohol kept getting in his way. He was able to keep the tower upright despite everything, but the time ran out and Kagura was one layer ahead of him. Smirking evilly, she grabbed the foam bat tightly and swung it as hard as she could on the lad's head. The impact caused him to move a little but it wasn't as brutal as she intended it to be. He only felt a solid push that rattled his brain to some extent. Moreover, the bat broke so they had to replace it with a new one for the next game.
The second game was walking along a three-meter skateboard bar. They did not know how and why Snack Smile has this item in store but it was definitely the real thing. Furthermore, there were two pieces of this, perfect for the two teens. The rule was as simple as a race, but whoever falls off has to start from the beginning. At first, they were head to head, but before reaching the middle, they both fell.
"Sougo, take a few seconds to stabilize your breathing and vision before you go," Coach Hijikata advised, though he himself was having a hard time standing straight. This merely earned a "Shut up, mayo" from the lad, but he unconsciously followed the tip.
"Kagura, you heard their tactic. You know what to do," Coach Gintoki directed, to which Kagura only nodded. Seeing his player this quiet, he didn't know if she was already at her limit or she was just concentrating. One thing was for sure, though: their heads were both swaying left and right as they stood.
Kagura realized that the rules didn't say anything about the method of walking along the bar. Her mind was already smashed and so was her logic. That was why she suddenly raised her hand and announced, "I'll walk along the bar by crawling!" With that, she traversed the metal Red-Curry-Ninja style.
Seeing his opponent taking the lead, Sougo's mind quickly came up with the perfect idea. Smirking, he said, "Prepare to be hit, China." The next second, he was seen running through the slender metal, overcoming the challenging factors with speed. It ended successfully for him, obtaining a clear victory against the Yato girl. Smirk never faltering, he grabbed the new foam bat and launched a powerful blow on the girl's head. He knew it was just as strong as her strike earlier, but for some reason, she fell out of balance and crashed on Gintoki's body. "What, can't hold out anymore, China?"
"Kagura, are you okay? Do you want to throw the towel now?" Gintoki whispered to her, holding her by the upper arms to help keep her from falling. He knew he was already intoxicated but he still has some sense of responsibility remaining. Although, instigating this drinking battle wasn't a responsible act to begin with.
"What towel?- Ah~ No, of course not, Gin-chan. How am I supposed to take a bath tomorrow if you give them my towel?" She laughed assertively as she untangled herself from his hold and went back to the battle field. Gintoki could only watch her in drunken-disbelief. "Oi, Sadist!" she called. "Whoever loses in this whole drinking battle… will be the slave of the other for a week!" she proposed before a hiccup.
"Sure." The sandy-haired teen smirked even wider. "Be sure not to regret that decision."
"Heh." She mirrored his smile before looking back to her boss. "Gin-chan, I'll win us an errand boy. You won't have to buy your own Jump, accompany Sadaharu in his pooping place and cook dinner for me."
"Oi, oi, you make it sound like I'm the current errand boy at home," he replied, smiling.
Hearing the new stipulation, the audience cheered louder. Some were even placing their bets. Snack Smile has never been this lively, so the manager was full support on the battle.
"Oi, Sougo!" Hijikata warned with a fist, "Don't you dare lose and be absent for a week! Your group will end up monkeying during patrol if you're not there."
"Die, Hijikata," was the lad's unrelated reply, causing a vein to pop on the Vice Commander's forehead.
The third game was the legendary "Hammer and Helmet Jankenpoi". Since they have played it before, no rule-stating was necessary for them. They started the game right away and without a minute passing, they were already hitting each other's seemingly-always-helmeted head with the toy hammer at lightning speed. No one could tell who was winning. They were even able to drink their Mortein shots in the midst of the combat without harming the girls who were pouring it for them.
A few more minutes passed and they turned out to be merely brawling like the first time they played this game. This time, though, their attacks were a little off due to alcohol's influence. They also lost balance and fell onto the floor a few times together but they didn't stop tussling, getting up only to crash again.
"Have you been counting, Sadist? I won, didn't I?" Getting tired of the pattern, Kagura snatched her purple parasol and launched an attack towards the lad which he blocked with his sheathed katana. "Oops, I thought I grabbed the foam bat. My bad~" She grinned wickedly at him.
"You're really inebriated now, China. Even in counting and grabbing, you make a mistake." He pushed her weapon to buy him a second to unsheathe his sword. That was when the fierce katana-umbrella fight started. Gintoki and Hijikata were too caught up in awe to stop the kids, aside from the fact that they were too dizzy to even walk a meter without difficulty.
The exchange of slashes and strikes ended when the Kiku-ichimonji RX-78 flew in the air, landing and stabbing the floor away from its owner. With this, Kagura flashed her victory smirk before throwing him the final blow. "Sweet dreams, Sadist."
However, to her utmost surprise, a hand cuff flew and caught her left wrist. It was followed by a pull that seized her attack and made her lose her balance. Upon managing to stand properly, she saw both her hands cuffed by the cold metal, the chain connecting the two loops held firmly by the guy she was about to finish a while ago. "You were saying something, China?" he mocked.
Gritting her teeth in exasperation, Kagura summoned all her remaining strength and pulled her arms away from him. The act caught him off guard and drew him towards her, his impaired sense of balance and now semi-delayed reflexes clearly at fault. In a swift but powerful move, she grabbed the guy's collar and threw him towards the wall ahead.
But that wasn't enough. Knowing how durable as a cockroach this guy was, she dashed unsteadily towards the enemy, ready to give a follow-up kick or punch or whatever that would come out first. To her dismay, she found the tables turned within just a blink of an eye. His hand found its way to her shoulder, and with a turn that she wasn't able to stop, he pinned her against the wall.
Now breathing heavily, he taunted, "Have anything else to say… loser?" He leaned a hand on the wall, both for support and for an added authority.
Her cuffed hands, meanwhile, grasped the clothing on his chest, intending to throw him away the moment her strength returns to her. Only then that she realized she was also panting. Exhaustion and drunkenness were probably the ones that rendered her unable to move and the spinning of her peripheral vision made it worse. If she was in her best condition, this guy would've been in a coma by now after bringing himself to her this close. She knew she was left with verbal attacks as the only option, so she started, "I hate… how you can keep up with my strength… Sadist."
He smiled confidently and replied, "I also hate… how you can stand my sadistic streaks… China."
"I'm never… gonna lose to you."
"Come on, throw up now… so we can all go home… Live up to your name as… the first Jump heroine to vomit."
"I can easily… hurl on you whenever I want to! But not now… I have to defeat you… whatever battle it is!"
"Heh…" His eyes suddenly sparkled with a good idea. "You hate me, right?"
"Hate, repulsion, disgust… however you call it."
"Then… will you throw up if I do this?" In a swift but smooth move, his hand that was pinning her shoulder shifted to cup her chin. Her eyes could only widen in surprise and then blink fast when he moved closer and closer. Her hands on his chest tried to stop him, but confounded as she was, she only managed to tighten her hold on the fabric. At the instant when his lips landed on hers, she saw his eyes closed so she just imitated it. She didn't expect the gesture to slowly take away her dizziness, letting her focus on the warmth and electricity that his seemingly affectionate lips brought to her. She could hear her name being called, as well as his, but she wasn't sure if that was just her imagination or not.
Their kiss deepened as if by itself, eliciting soft sounds from the two. Vomiting wasn't necessarily a consequence of pulling away, but somehow, the competitive side of their minds told them that becoming the first to retreat means losing in this new form of battle. Being the guy and a teenager at that, Sougo was about to launch a 'special attack' that was sure to either trigger this girl's puke of repulsion or make her totally fall for his charm –both of which would mean victory for him. But before he could invade her mouth with his tongue, he felt a sudden pull from behind and everything went blank. Kagura also felt the same spin which caused her to lose track of the next events.
"Ah, these kids are really a pain in the ass, aren't they?" Gintoki remarked before laughing nervously.
"This is your fault, Yorozuya," Hijikata replied sternly, but his unsteady eyes were giving away signs of guilt.
Apparently, the two adults lost their drunkenness upon seeing their kids lose to their hormones like teenagers in a school trip. Carrying the unconscious ones on their backs, they shoved away the spectators and settled the bills before going out of the club. As they faced the opposite ends of the street, they paused to utter their thoughts.
"Your kid is dangerous," Gintoki spoke first. "Be sure to watch him as he grows."
"Don't blame my kid on this! You're the one who should watch his girl properly. She may be strong but she's still a girl."
"Ah~ arguing with you won't get me anywhere." Gin sighed as he started walking. "At least it's clear that my Kagura won this battle."
"What are you talking about?" Hijikata started walking as well. They could still hear each other despite the increasing distance. "Sougo was the last to attack; we all know that."
"But it was also him who was knocked out first…because you pulled him too harshly." Gintoki's snicker could be heard along the quiet street.
"Tch, is that the right way to thank me for saving your girl?"
"Is that the right way to accept defeat?"
They continued their dispute until they were too far to be heard by the other.
Recalling the foolishness they've committed tonight, they were both about to smirk to themselves when they suddenly felt something warm and smelly from the heads hanging on their shoulders. "Wahhhh!" And with that, they both thought that their kid lost, leading them to decide not to brag about this event the next time they see each other. They would just wash this stupidity away, like how they were planning to wash the barf that was heartlessly poured on them.
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AN: That wraps it up! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it ^o^ What can you say about this story? :D what lessons have you learned here, my dear readers? XD please tell me your comments; they would make me veeeery happy ^_^ I am actually a GinKagu shipper (that's why my GinKagu heart just exploded from jealousy especially since Sougo got Kagura's first kiss among all the fanfics I've written, damn! XD) but I hope my attempt on OkiKagu is passable, hehe :p I actually finished this with a plan to write a GinKagu sequel, but we'll see about that XD please please please leave me a review~~ ^_^