Disclaimer : As usual, all of this goes to the wonderful J.K. Rowling, and here, to U2 also :)
A/N : This fic is a one-shot inspired by the song Numb of U2. I cut some parts but tried to respect the order of the lyrics. I would appreciate some comments ! Be aware that this is my first song-fic, and my first English fic by the way, since Eng. is my second language...
Thank you ! :) Izabel –xx –
Numb
I, Vernon Dursley, believe that this little unworthy boy called Harry Potter must follow these rules. I have done this because too much freak events happen because of him. I will not necessary let him know about this, but he will pay the consequences if anything abnormal happens that refers to these points. No doubt about it!
1) You are the less important member of this house.
Don't move
Don't talk out of time
Don't think
Don't worry
Everything's just fine
Just fine
Don't grab
Don't clutch
Don't hope for too much
Don't breathe
Don't achieve
2) You will not, without any exception, talk about those freaks you had as parents. No questions are welcomed and the truth is not something you deserve to know, little slug.
Don't check
Just balance on the fence
Don't answer
Don't ask
Don't try and make sense
Don't whisper
Don't talk
Don't run if you can walk
Don't cheat
3) Do not forget that we took you and that without us you would be nothing. Be grateful.
Don't make a will
Don't cower
Don't crawl
Don't come around late
Just play another chord
If you feel you're getting bored
Don't plead
Don't bridle
Don't grind
Don't swerve
Lie, die, serve
Glance, dance, dismiss, apologise
Don't spy
Don't lie
Don't try
4) You will have chores to do and you must do perfect work.
Start again
Don't triumph
Don't coax
Don't cling
Don't hoax
5) I will not tolerate any funny business at all.
Don't freak
Peak
Don't leak
6) Don't think we will help you in your projects and do not expect anything from us, more than clothes, house, food and minimum supplies.
Don't project
Don't connect
Don't expect
Don't wish
7) Dudley is the best little kid we could ask for. In this case, don't expect to have anything like him neither to borrow, nor steal – in your case it wouldn't even surprise me – him things. I must not hear a word from you.
Don't borrow
Don't break
Don't fence
Don't steal
Don't pass
Don't press
Don't try
Don't feel
Don't touch
Don't lie
Why me ?
Vernon Dursley, January 31, 1983