Of Lullabies
At fourteen Tifa stood two point four inches taller than Cloud. She was already learning to control devastating power, the likes of which could easily crush a skull if so desired. At heart though, she was still just a fourteen girl whose cheeks would regularly be stained pink from blushing.
The night Cloud had confided in her, had told her he was leaving, she had secretly felt her heart break a little. Not of lost love, but of a lost blooming friendship. He had always been a nice boy, albeit a quiet one; and she would miss having him around the sleepy town.
The promise she invoked from him had been in a moment of passion, it was a fleeting thought; one she hoped for dearly but realistically knew would probably never come to pass.
"When you make soldier, do you promise you'll come save me?"
The slightly shocked look on his face was worth the bare moment of honesty. "Wha?"
"It's always been my dream to be rescued by my hero."
Neither bothered to mention the fact that he had already rescued her once. "I promise."
Time had passed slowly in that little town of Nibelheim. People passed through, but few stayed and fewer had any (good) word about Soldier. With nothing else to occupy her time, Tifa continued training with a silent promise that next time they met they would fight together.
Then the illustrious day Sephiroth had arrived, the biggest thing to happen to the tiny town since the Mako Reactor itself! Along with the stoic general came a handful of Soldier and Infantrymen, Tifa couldn't repress the hope bubbling inside that one of them may be Cloud.
But the kind Soldier with black hair looked mildly put-off by her description of Cloud. "Sorry," he had said, "I don't know any Soldier that looks like that." And she had missed the way his eyes flicked over one of the stiffer Infantrymen.
Everything, it seemed to her at least, had gone downhill from that moment. There was Sephiroth and the sudden stifling hatred he emanated, the burning town, her dying father, her own unbridled anger at the silver haired man that had caused it all; and the pain. Sharp and intrusive and rendering her incapacitated, her only relieving thought was at least Cloud's not here, at least he's safe from this infectious madness.
And then she had awoken in a strange, unfamiliar place with the strong smell of disinfectant. A hospital, with a kind faced doctor smiling at her over a clipboard. Someone had sent her away, sent her to a new life; a second chance.
The first thing she did upon release was to run, as fast as her legs would carry her, to try and find the Shinra building. "I'm looking for someone," she had told the wide eyed secretary, "a member of Soldier, his name is Cloud. Cloud Strife."
There were no traces of her childhood friend, part of her began wondering if she didn't imagine him.
Years crawled by, Tifa was hired on as a barmaid at a local tavern after fudging the application a bit (no one would hire a sixteen year old), but the owner was a kind faced man who didn't pressure the matter and she knew from experience she had a body that belied her age. Things were good for her, but that didn't stop her weekly quest to the Shinra headquarters. The secretary and herself were now on a first name basis.
Some days, the city became too oppressive. Some days she missed her tiny, sleepy town out in the open and on those days she would crawl out through chinks in the armored city's walls and walk for miles on end; breathing in the blue sky.
She had not, in her wildest dreams, ever expected to trip over a body. Even if she had imagined it, she could not fathom the blond haired individual (her mind was boggled at how he had gone from a boy to a man), lying half-dead and far bloodier than anyone had the right to be.
There was no mistaking him, the spiky halo of hair was enough of an indication and when he opened his eyes Tifa felt as if her heart had stopped. They had never been such a bright blue before.
"I've been looking for you," she told him after he was rested and fully conscious. "For years now, I've been searching this stupid city." She looked him over speculatively, "they told me there was no soldier registered with your name."
He eyed her with a flat, blank stare. "They were wrong." He replied in a dull monotone that made her heart break a little all over again.
Stay here, she had begged, there's more than enough room and if you're not part of soldier anymore than you can help the resistance! We can make a difference Cloud, we can change the world for the better.
It hadn't taken much convincing, more than anything Tifa secretly thought he had no where else to turn. It was nice, she thought to herself, this rag-tag family she had found. Barrett with tiny Marlene and Biggs and Wedge and Jessie and now Cloud, things were finally looking up.
Until they started looking down in a spiraling series of pain and heartache. There was the reactor incident, in which Cloud nearly left (again). And it was only after Tifa threw a slightly childish tantrum that he had agreed.
"what about your promise?" She had cried when his hand touched the doorknob, folding her arms under an ample bosom but still managing to look fourteen again. "You've made soldier, so you have to stick around until I need rescuing!"
Cloud had bit his tongue against a retort as half memories flickered through his mind. He already had saved her, only he couldn't exactly remember it and consequently that made it a weak defense.
Then there had been that whole debacle with Don Corneo and the sudden appearance of the flower girl who seemed to be a new permanent fixture in their lives. Cloud had been livid with Tifa over that incident, and despite his tight control over his emotions she knew she had crossed a line there.
"You could have been killed," he had growled out, hands fisted into tight knuckles that were probably turning white under his gloves.
Tifa, who for all her bravado had actually been fairly shaken up by the excursion but refused to admit that, rolled her eyes. "They were your garden variety thugs. I could handle them easily."
But he had still been angry with her, stomping around like they were kids again and even after she apologized he only relaxed marginally. It seemed he was one to hold a grudge after all?
When they started traveling Tifa felt both relieved (to be out of the city) and more aggravated than ever.
The very presence of Aerith, who was hopelessly kind-hearted, and a classic damsel in distress whom Cloud was rescuing seemingly every two minutes, made Tifa feel incredibly inferior in every way. It didn't help matters when, after any particularly grueling battle; Tifa was left barely standing and mostly bleeding while the petite Aerith was only lightly panting.
She could not, however, hate the other woman. For while Cloud seemed to have some infinite affection for the pink clad flower girl, Aerith always had a distant smile on her face; a look Tifa herself was far too familiar with. The girl was thinking of someone, someone very near and dear to her heart.
In the end, Tifa couldn't help but feel maybe she had not spent enough time trying to get to know Aerith. These thoughts came to her far too late, as Cloud tenderly lowered Aerith's body into the lake.
There was a hardened look in the blond man's eyes after that. A look that promised vengeance, and not the quick kind. Selfishly, Tifa wondered if he would be that upset if it had been her run through with that sword.
Casting those dark thoughts aside and locking away her own bleeding heart; she followed him faithfully around the world in pursuit of a madman. What I wouldn't give, she hummed miserably to herself one night, to be normal. Idly, she wondered what life would have been like had Cloud never left to seek his fortune; even if Sephiroth had still happened to their tiny town they would have had each other through the whole incident, and surely that would have been enough to change all this.
Just when it felt they had reached the end; of their strength, of their patience, of their lives; it was finally and truly done. And suddenly their future was a gaping hole brimming with possibilities because they were still alive, and the world was quiet suddenly with no crazed power struggles, no looming destruction of all civilization.
The boy, Denzel, had been a natural and sudden surprise addition to their lives. If nothing else, he was a good companion for Marlene (who was all smiles even through the bleak reconstruction of their lives). He was shy and quiet and such a nice boy, he complemented the (sometimes) loud vivacious little girl.
Tifa had prayed (to the Goddess, to the lifestream, to Aerith) that the much needed lull would allow them to get their lives back on track; allow them to become a family again.
Only Cloud wasn't content with this quiet life; he was still sure there was something out there; watching, waiting, wanting. He would pace like a caged wolf if left in the house too long. There was always something more he could be doing, or so he believed.
So Tifa had flung the door open wide and waved him off with a smile. She tucked the hope for his safe return in a tiny, dark corner of her heart. Because in case it did not come to pass, she couldn't bear it again.
It had not been until the incident with Kadaj and the others that she realized how much she resented Cloud for living the way he did. For leaving her in the state he did. It wasn't until Marlene had cried for him, that she realized they couldn't go on like this anymore.
"Are memories more important?" than us, standing here, breathing here, missing you here.
And she had been witness to the change in him. It wasn't sudden, it wasn't even sure; but it was there and so was he.
"I want my hero to come save me," she had said when she was fourteen. And now, years later after receiving her wish ten fold, she was returning the favor. On hot balmy nights when all the house's windows were thrown open when Cloud would have the nightmares. Of things he couldn't change then, and tries so desperately not to dwell on now. When he awakes, a scream and a sob caught in his throat; she's there to save him the only way she can. With a cool cloth on his forehead to break his night fever, a glass of water and a whispered promise "it's okay."
And she would sit and listen until dawn broke over the horizon of tales he couldn't bare to relate in the daylight; but here in the safety net of darkness desperately needed to be rid of. He told her about Zack, about the real First Class Soldier and how they had been so close. He told her of the murky feeling of loosing five years of his life and going from a boy to a man and so confused as to how he got there. He related Zack's final moments and all the misery he held in him since then.
These stories, never bordering often, were told frequent enough that she could begin to connect the missing dots. She became so familiar with his heartache that she almost wept with him for the loss of his friend.
She may not be soft and frail; and she may not really need all that much rescuing. She may smell like stale cigarettes and spilt alcohol more often than freesia and mint; but here and now she's needed and wanted and loved. She'll return that and more, because it's enough.
They never say "I love you." It very well might not be in their vocabulary. They never sleep together (they sleep in the same bed, just never together), and he never asks her to marry him.
She doesn't push the issue, doesn't lament over the lack of conversations; he's here because he wants to be. Because he's happy with her and the children, and she'll take it because it's more than she hoped for.
Time passes, as time tends to do; a new faction rises from the ashes of Shinra and Soldier. They're called SeeD, and supposedly they just want to help, not control. They take children and teenagers that have "potential" and train them. Tifa bites her tongue against the wave of memories; she stays quiet on her opinion that they're on the cusp of repeating history.
The children are older now. At fourteen Marlene stands two point four inches taller than Denzel. She's begged Tifa to teach her to fight, to defend herself and those she cares about. Tifa consented with a heavy heart.
One night, Denzel pulls Marlene outside. "Let's go for a walk," he says. Even though he's scared and Tifa could hear it in his voice.
Cloud, who was in the process of leaving the table, pauses to watch them exit. It was no secret to the adults what was happening. "Why would Denzel do this to us, to her?" Tifa asks, choking back a sob.
Cloud fixes her with an unwavering- piercing gaze and Tifa is taken back by the sheer intensity in his blue eyes. Emotions the stoic man can't convey through words fly between them in that moment. "Because," he says, "he has something worth protecting."
End Note: I'm not necessarily 100 happy with the way I ended this, but I felt like it was dragging too long and I didn't want to weigh it down any farther. I took a few creative liberties with the story-line, so please excuse me for that?
Anyways, this is only my first (real) forray into FF VII fanfics, so I hope you all enjoyed (if you read this far) please R & R