Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and/or the characters of the original story created by J.K. Rowling.
Disclaimer #2: This story is not meant to indoctrinate anyone into Christianity or any religious sect. It is merely a fictional, hopefully humourous, piece using religion as a premise to carry the story. Also, there is no intention to offend or mock Christianity or anyone of Christian beliefs.
Chapter One: Love Your Enemies
"Minister, can I have a word?"
Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister for Magic, cringed imperceptibly at the sound of the voice behind him. He'd just finished up from a two-hour board meeting concerning a matter he'd long forgotten the topic of and was in dire need of an awakener. However, he realised this was not to be at the sound of Hermione Granger's voice. Correction: Sister Hermione Granger's voice.
He turned, a smile already forced into place on his face, and said as congenially as he could, "Hullo…err…Sister Hermione. How are you?"
Sister Hermione Jane Granger, formerly plain old Hermione Granger, had changed considerably in the past six years after the war. After Voldemort's final failed attempt of murdering Harry Potter and the 'Light Side' had officially won the war, many changes had occurred both individually and societal. Several wealthy Pureblood families had found themselves not so wealthy anymore and behind bars. Goblins, elves, centaurs and the other magical, non-wizard sects had been given the same rights and freedoms as wizards. And the general air of inevitable doom and darkness had lifted and breathed new life and vigor into the Wizarding community.
Harry Potter had married. Draco Malfoy was engaged to be married. Ron Weasley was in a serious relationship. Severus Snape had taken a long needed vacation to Barbados. Ginny Weasley had acquired a temporary position as a Quidditch professor at Hogwarts. George Weasley had 'come out' and announced that he was homosexual. Bill and Fleur were separated. Molly and Arthur were older but still married and meddlesome as ever, Molly more so than Arthur. And Fred…Fred had gone on a mysterious journey three years ago and had yet to be seen or heard from since.
But Hermione had had the greatest and most surprising transformation of all. No-one had seen it coming. Just one fine and sunny day, after returning from her four year post-Hogwarts education, she'd proclaimed to the Weasley household and company that she was going to become a nun.
At first, only quizzical expressions could be found on their faces—save for Harry who knew what a nun was—but after a brief explanation from Hermione, they'd gotten the gist of things and had not liked the idea. In fact, they'd discouraged her outright, Ron being the most vocal of the lot.
"'Mione, that's awful! No sex?"
"No, Ron," replied Hermione demurely, a blush colouring her cheeks. "I've been reborn again. I am now God's wife and I must devote both my body and my soul to the Church and His work."
Aghast, Ginny responded, "His work? What kind of work?"
"Encouraging others to follow His word by reading His Holy Book and practicing good deeds in their daily lives. To inspire faith of Jesus Christ in the hearts of men, be it wizard, Muggle or magical creatures."
Arthur piped up, "And who's this Jesus Christ fellow?"
"He is God's one and only begotten son," replied Hermione solemnly.
"He's already got a kid?" cried Ron, "'Mione are you sure you're ready to be a step-mum?"
"Jesus Christ is already dead. He suffered for our sins…"
Molly shook her head and said in grave tones, "Oh dear…must be hard to outlive your own child…and the poor dear suffered too…oh my…was it He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's fault?"
Eventually, with the help of Harry, Hermione had managed to convey the salient points of her newfound faith to the Weasleys and even though they were still displeased, they'd respected her decision.
Now twenty-three years old, Hermione had managed to become the youngest Abbess known to the Catholic Church and possibly the Wizarding world. She'd completed her Postulancy and had undertaken her Novitiate in a record time of two years and five months. She'd already taken her Temporary Vows and was currently considering whether or not she should take her Solemn Vows.
In the two years since Hermione had assumed office, she'd accomplished two major feats: the first of which was twisting Madame Rosmerta's arm into relinquishing her establishment so she (Hermione) could build her church there and, secondly, badgering Headmistress McGonagall into abolishing Professor Trelawney's Divination class and replacing it with 'Divinity': a class which the students were outsourced to Hermione's church and would learn about Christianity.
And during those same years, Hermione had also made several attempts of harassing the Ministry to concede to her many different requests. Some they'd outright rejected and some they'd relented to because she was a celebrated War heroine and also there was only so much of "You shall face damnation if you inhibit God's will!" Howlers they could take.
Therefore, one could now understand Kingsley Shacklebolt's reaction. He knew what was coming, he knew he would not like it and he certainly knew he was not going to avoid it due to Hermione's set and determined face.
"I am well, Minister," she replied primly, "And you?"
"I'm a bit under the weather…" said Kingsley in hopeful tones that she'd get the gist and go away.
She suddenly affected a worried look, "Are you unwell, Minister. Shall I say a prayer?"
Kingsley Shacklebolt was acquainted with Hermione's prayers and their time limit of extending long beyond even his board meetings. He hastened to stay her hands as she'd already begun reaching for her Rosary beads. "No need to, Sister. What is it that you need to speak to me about?"
She pursed her lips, looking about the hallway disdainfully at its expensive soundproof carpeting and non-Christian motivational plaques dotting the walls. "I think I'd prefer we speak in your office, Minister."
He nodded once and set off, aware that she was right on his heels. Entering the first section of the room, he found his receptionist, Parvati Patil, applying nail polish to her fingernails the Muggle way. He gave her a little wave in greeting and watched in slight surprise as she hurriedly whispered "Evanesco", tapping her wand to her nails. He was aware of Parvati's beautification tendencies during office hours and knew Parvati was aware that he did not mind but realisation dawned when he heard Hermione's signature throat clearing: a harbinger of a speech on Christian values, the demoralisation of the Wizarding world and the degeneration of the Wizarding folk into base pleasures.
"Sister, my office," he prompted, she looked up and away from Parvati, moving to where he stood with the door held ajar for her entry. As Hermione entered his office, he glanced at Parvati just in time to see her mouth "Thank you" gratefully.
"Minister, I have a proposition to make," she began immediately after he'd taken his seat.
"Sister, you have made many propositions to the Ministry," he pointed out.
"Indeed," she replied waspishly. "And of the many, only few have found favourable responses but maybe that was God's will."
He chose to ignore her and asked instead, "And this new proposition of yours?"
She cleared her throat and Kingsley Shacklebolt felt his whole body tense with trepidation. Was she about to launch into a sermon?
"Minister, as I was reading the Daily Prophet yesterday, loathe as I am to read such filthy garbage, I encountered an article that was very disturbing. It seems that all those former Death Eaters and persons found associated with them, Voldemort or their evil deeds are to be executed within the next year. Is this true?"
Kingsley Shacklebolt had known he would not like this meeting but he hadn't realised how much he'd wish for a time-turner so he would not have encountered Sister Hermione Granger on this eventful day. "It is true," he answered slowly, quietly.
Her eyes widened, "But that is heinous! It would be mass murder!"
Astonished, he answered, "Sister, remember who you are speaking about. They did evil things to both Wizards and Muggles. They tortured and took innocent lives."
"'Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you!'" quoted Hermione. "Minister, I cannot abide the knowledge, the idea, the very action of murder regardless of their past transgressions. That is why I have a proposition I hope you will accept."
Kingsley Shacklebolt realised that Sister Hermione Granger had gone past the path of reasoning and she'd not acknowledge another thing he'd say without a fight to the death. So, wearily, he asked again, "What is your proposition, Sister?"
"I wish for you to release those unsaved souls from Azkaban and allow me to tutor and guide them onto the rightful path of Christianity."
AN: Hello everybody, here's a new fanfic for you to feast on! I do hope you liked the first installment. If you did or if you didn't, please tell me what you think! :)