DISCLAIMER: All rights to Spider-Man and character associated Belong to Marvel comics. This work is purely fan made.

One morning in the city of New York we find our hero doing what any other hero would be doing, being amazing.

"Ah come on!"

You can hear something falling down a deep tunnel than "Plup". The sound of Peter Parker losing his shoe down a manhole trying to scrap gum of the bottom of it.

"Great just what I need to start of my day."

Peter sighs in disbelief.

"Well, maybe the Lizard would be nice enough it bring back up" Peter says this sarcastically but with a tiny glimmer of hope that it might actually happen.

Having no choice Peter looks around and tries to act casual, as casual as someone who just lost there shoe can, and heads over to the nearest ally. He activates his Spider-Armor MK IV, the suit covers his normal everyday clothes to become the Amazing Spider-Man. Leaping in the air Spidey webs the side of a building web-zipping through the streets of Manhattan.

"Ok all I need to do is: get home quickly, change shoes, swing back out, get there, and pray I don't run into some yahoo with a gun."

As if on cue from the universe, a loud boom is echoed through the air.

"Me and my big mouth."

Spider-man swings to the sound of danger. As he gets closer he can hear the sound of gunshots and loud screams that could only be described as blood curdling. The last time he heard screams so terrifying was on a horror movie, and the Hulk, and basically when ever a villain or group of villains attacked.

"OK, your friendly neighborhood Spider-man is here and is incredibly late for- Oh crap"

If he wasn't wearing a mask you could see his jaw drop. Standing 100 feet or more away was a huge ashy monster standing at least 11 feet tall and a buff as the Hulk. The monster had huge purple eyes and looked like a combination of a Skrull and the Lizard. The gunshots came from what looked like people from the government.

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING YOU GOT MEN. IF IT CAN'T BE CONTAINED KILL IT."

Spidey looked over to the loud voice and say a white man with light brown hair wearing something that made him think the guy was from a "Men in Black" movie.

"What going on here!?"

Spider-man asked as leaped to the man giving orders. The man looked over to the clown dressed up in a Halloween costume.

"Get out of here, this is none of your business."

The mysteries man said this with a stern voice pointing back down the street.

" You made it my business when you started shooting guns at a monster on a street full of people."

The two lock eyes, one behind a mask the other behind a pair sunglasses. The tension is broken when the beast lets out a huge bellow that echoed down the street. The bellow could be felt in the bones of everyone there. It rushed over and grabbed one of the government agents, its huge veiny hand wraps around the agent's hand so tightly that the breaking of his bones and the gun can be heard, the street is then filled with a scream of pain. The monster than proceeds to move the agent toward its mouth, the jaws opened revealing its eel like teeth. Just as the creature was about to take the man's head of Spider-man lands on its head shutting the mouth. The agent is dropped while Spider-man webbed the monster's mouth shut. The beast frantically tries to remove the webbing wailing its body around wildly, Spider-man quickly throws the man on a web net he prepared earlier getting him to saftey. The monster than goes into a rage trying to smash Spider-man while at the same time trying to remove the web.

"Sir shall we commence firing on specimen B-34?"

One of the agents asked the supervisor who was looking on at the battle.

"No, we can't have people asking why a government agency killed Spider-man. Even if we killed all the witnesses it would get out somehow."

The agent called back his men letting Spider-man deal with monster. With each blow Spider-man could feel the sandpaper like skin of the creature through his suit.

"I think I know what your problem is Big Guy."

Spidey began to insult the beast as he usually does with his enemies.

"You're ashy and your skin is freakishly rough. Might I suggest lotion, Jergens perhaps."

The creature let out another loud bellow.

"Can't go wrong with Coca Butter."

Just as Spider-man was about to land another punch the monster anticipated and caught his fist. Grabbing him by his arms Spider-man is lifted up to the large mouth of the beast. A loud roar was let out in Spidey's face, a roar filled with rage. Again before a huge bite was taken out of the hero the beast's mouth was webbed shout. Releasing Spider-man from its deadly grip Spider-man quickly leaped over the monster's shoulders wrapping the web around its head it prevent it from trying to take a bite out of anyone else.

"You know for a monster your breath actually smells pretty good, almost like peppermint. In fact now that I think about it you actually smell really good. You would definitely be the best villain ever if your powers were to smell good, and if that's not your power than you know how to take a one hell of a shower. Maybe you could teach some of my other enemies how to take a shower, like Kraven, and God knows he needs one.

Spider-man continued his banter as he resumed his beat down of the creature. Looking as if it could take all that it could stand the creature rose to its feet letting muffled roar. The creature grabbed a truck and slammed it to the ground causing an explosion that knocked Spider-man back to the group of agents. Using the chaos as cover the monster disappeared.

Spider-man laying out on his back let out a silent raspy moan.

"That one hurt." He says in silent raspy moan.

"Who needs ribs any way."

Spider-man slowly gets back up looking for monster that sent him flying.

Out of no where a loud voice was released.

"GREAT…GREAT JOB HERO. YOU LOST THE SPECIMEN!'

Looking behind him the head agent approached Spider-man.

"If you would have left as I instructed you to we could have brought down the specimen and avoided even more property damage."

"Yeah right like your bullets weren't bouncing off that thing; and what do you mean specimen?"

"That's classified. Next time I tell you to get lost you better get lost. " The agent said as he got in Spider-man's face.

Spider-man shot a web in the sky as he said " Your welcome Agent D." and swung off, but not before yelling back " The D stands for Dick.".

Another agent walked up to the head agent and asked "Should we keep an eye on him sir?"

"No, I got this one." He replied still staring at Spider-Man swinging away.

"Great not only did I lose my shoe, get my hands all scraped up and almost broken by that thing, but now I got an ungrateful agent in my city chasing a monster. Could this day get any worse."

Just like another cue from the universe Spider-man's phone begins to ring. He lands on the nearest rooftop and pulls it out from his balled up jeans. Just as he is about to answer the call goes to his voicemail, he listens to the message.

"Hey Peter it's Courtney, I've been here waiting for over an hour for you. I guess you decided not to come I don't know. You could of at least called... maybe we can try this again later sometime. Bye."

The message ends.

"Me and my freakin big mouth."