A/N: I've been thinking about a piece like this for some time. Yes, MC was a TV show, but just like many others it spoke to me on so many levels. I both adored and looked up to the character of Sharon Raydor and this is my homage to her and a way to process the loss that I felt and like many others continue to feel. It may be silly, but it was a loss I definitely had to get over and I feel what we saw in TV was not the end of Andy's story. It deserves to be told. I have loved all the docs that completely ignore her death, but unfortunately it did happen. This is my way of dealing with it. As with my other stories, I don't get anything but satisfaction from this story.
Thanks for reading.
Chapter 1
The shadows of the large room seemed take on a life of their own. Specters that reached out hauntingly toward him, luring him like the sirens from mythology. But that wasn't the only thing calling to him. For fifteen years he was able to ignore the pull of the thing that ruined his first marriage and almost his life. But now. Now, he didn't give a shit.
The amber liquid reflected in the dim light and he stared at it as buried himself deeper into the brown sofa. He grabbed one of throw pillows and placed it on his chest and immersed himself in its softness, pleaser he could still smell the sweet hint of her perfume.
He was back on leave again. The Stroh case was finally closed and Rusty was finally free from that dirtbag psychopath's clutches. He was only sorry that it had been Rusty that had shot him. He should have been the one to end Stroh. He owed that to Sharon. Provenza had told him the truth although all the official reports indicated it was a police officer involved shooting. Anyone from FID who might have questioned Provenza seemed to not probe too deeply. They all knew. How could they not? But, he mused, they all respected Sharon and remained loyal, even after her death.
Her death. He focused on the amber liquid once more. It was the first time that he could remember going to a liquor store and purchasing a pint of that familiar bottle. It's red wax cap comforting in his large hand. He should have gone to a meeting. He could have called his old sponsor. But he didn't. It didn't matter anymore.
He promised Sharon he would look out for Rusty. He will, but so will Gus. The two finally managed to work past their issues and now we're living together in a small place near UCLA. Andy was glad that Rusty had Gus. He was also glad that Sharon Beck had finally got her head out of her ass and started acting like the mother he deserved. No. He also had a mother he deserved. That was Sharon. His Sharon. But, Rusty still needed a mom even though he was heading to law school.
Emily and Ricky called every other day and Nicole and Charlie and even Sandra alternated phone calls. They must have worked out a schedule because no one left him alone for one day. But the nights. No one called at night, and that is when the shadows came and the sirens called and when he had to fight to make it to the next morning.
After several brushes with death and a heart attack, he knew pain. But this. This was something he had never felt before. He was broken, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be whole again.
TBC