AN: This is a joint fic I wrote with the user Blood tissue feeling's but we wont be able to upload it to the joint account we made for another 2 days so we decided to put it on mine for now and to move it when we than that we hope you enjoy it and please review :)

"We've gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love" The tune played loudly out of the radio and Christian sang along as he continued to pack his bag, a smile on his face. Today he was going away on holiday with Syed and he was the happiest he'd been in as long as he could remember.

He and Sy had had a complicated relationship to say the least, but somehow they managed to make it through everything, His marriage, his counselling, even his family, and now they were together, truly, properly together. Maybe they were right when they said true love conquers all?

2010

Christian had tried his best to stay away, tried to not get wound up, tried to forget about all this mess that was him and Syed! He'd been coping and he thought he was doing well, until he saw him, until he saw that vile, insensitive creep.

This was the fourth time he'd seen this bloke with Syed, they would always sit on Arthur's bench, talk for hours on end. Christian couldn't think who this man could be. A friend? A lover?

He felt agitated, didn't know how to react, He looked back over to where the two men were standing, Syed was on his own now, this man, the man he knew nothing about, had hugged him before leaving, tightly. It was just wrong. Christian made his way over; he had to talk to him. It was now or never.

Syed didn't realise the older man's presence by his side, he was too busy talking on his phone, It was like they were strangers, like they'd never kissed, never touched, never fallen in love.

Christian gathered himself together and finally spoke.

'Sy?'

Syed looked up, surprised. Just one word… Syed felt that burning feeling inside him spreading, taking over his entire being, his brain caught up with him and he cursed his thoughts, No! I'm straight now!

He got up, he had to leave, had to get away. Christian grabbed his arm and he stopped, his heart beating unbelievably fast in his chest...

'Can we talk? Please.' He said, breathing unsteadily. The impact of his fingers round his ex-lovers arm brought it all back. He wanted him back. His ex lover turned to face him...

'There's nothing to say Christian'

Christian let go of his arm, He just stood there, shaking his head slightly, trying to stop the tears pouring as the man he loved rejected him yet again

'Don't look at me like that, Christian! I'm sorting my life out, I'm sorting myself out.'

Christian looked at him genuinely confused.

'What do you mean?'

'Does it matter? Really? It's not your business Christian!'
Who was the man stood in front of him? This wasn't the Syed Christian remembered.

'Of course it matters Sy. Who was that guy you were talking to?'

Syed diverted his eyes away.

'He's a friend…he's helped me'

'Helped you? Helped you How? Syed, your not making any sense.'

'Do we have to talk about this here? I can't even be around you, not anymore...' Syed's voice was breaking, as if he was choking bsck tears

Realization finally dawned.

'Has he said this? What's he feeding into your brain Syed?'

'Nothing, he's made me see sense. Made me realize that what we had was wrong…dirty. You meant nothing to me, it was just a deluded faze I was going through. I finally know who and what I am, I'm…straight and I want my family… you need to just back off okay? I don't want to ever see you again, This was your fault, you made me the way I was.'

With that Syed ran off in panic. Leaving Christian both stunned and reeling.

7:00pm. Christian roamed the Square; there was nothing else to do. He was confused, angry, upset, ashamed. Why would Syed do this to himself? Why would he feel the need to change himself? He knew the pressures for Syed, he definitely knew it wasn't easy for him, but all he offered him was love and happiness, Why was he blaming all this on him?

Walking past the community centre he heard all the laughter, familiar laughter. Syed's laughter.

He thought about entering; possibly a big mistake, but he needed to know what was going on.

He entered the community centre, stunned at what he was seeing.

A party? A God damn party?

All of them saving face, so false. Christian just stood on the spot, eyes fixed on one thing, two bodies laughing; Syed and that evil creep. It felt like hours until Syed had noticed him standing there, it must have been less than 5 seconds. Syed felt had felt him there, but was too scared to acknowledge him, he couldn't, he was straight now - he didn't love this man, the man that give him everything; give him himself respect, honesty, love...

Walking up to Christian he shoved him back towards the door, a face like thunder.

'You just can't leave it, can you? I've told you I don't want you anywhere near me!'

'Why are you doing this? Is loving really me so wrong?'

Syed looked down to his shoes, shuffling his hair away from his eyes.

'Answer me, Syed!' Frustration spreading like wild fire in Christian's body, tears blurring his vision.

'I… I don't know anymore! Allen told me I've done the right thing, my parents are showing me respect for once. So, yeah, loving you was wrong, so wrong!'

Christian fell heavily towards the wall, strength somehow leaving his body; weakness taking over, his legs turning to jelly. Syed watching on, his mind telling him to leave him; walk away for good. His heart telling him to protect him; put his arms around him, tell him he doesn't mean a word.

'Get up Christian. Please'

Christian looked up, his face etched with pain. His eyes red, sobs coming out helplessly.

'Why? You… you don't care about me, I love you, I still love you after all this. All I want is to hold you, kiss you, love you. You're all that I want and more. I'm not going to beg… I'm past that; I have so much respect for you Syed. I want you to know that you should be happy in your skin; your happiest times were when you were with me, that's what you said. Don't let some old, self hating poof work his sick, false magic on you. And your parents, If they cant show you love no matter what you are, who you love, then they're not worth it.I've loved you no matter what you do, no matter how much you hurt me.I want you for you - they don't - not yet anyway. Just please… please think about this'

Christian got to his feet, wiping his tears away. Syed looked at him in awe; he was right, he was always right.

'I'm so sorry so, I'm so sorry. I don't need to think, I've always known-…'

'Known what?' Christian whispered, confused.

'That I was wrong, messed up. That only you make me truly happy. I still love you and I was stupid to think that I ever couldn't. I… know I've broke you, hurt you so many times, but I will always need you in my life. I want to make you smile, not cry, I want to see you happy, not sad. Loving you may be wrong Christian, but it feels right, righter than anything else, no matter what I love you, and I could never stop. So...Please, if I haven't ruined any chance I have with you, Can we try to put this...Try to put us...Right? I love you Christian Clarke, and all the self deception in the world is never going to change that"

Christian couldn't believe it, Syed was saying the words he'd wanted to hear for so long, and he was saying them in front of his friends, his family, everyone he knew.

He pulled the other man off his feet and crushed their lips together, their tears mixing together, neither wanting to let go.

As they finally pulled away Christian stared into the other mans eyes, still holding the other man tight in his arms...

"Syed, you could never ruin your chances with me, I love you too, I love you so much"

2011

After that Syed had moved in with Christian for a few weeks, they spent most of the time in his flat, savouring each other's company now that they were finally, properly together. Christian knew Syed was still upset about losing his family, but they didn't talk about it. Until one day Syed went down to the Unit and saw argued for hours, both of them crying and screaming at the top of their lungs. But by the end Syed had made Zainab see that he loved who he loved and he couldn't change it and that although she didn't have to like it would be nice if she at least tried to accept it.

They reached a sort of common ground after relationship was strained to say the least but they were both trying. Syed found a small place of his own after that, thinking that if they lived apart it would help his mother find it easier to accept their relationship. Christian missed him of course but he was around nearly all the time and they both knew that they're no way everything could have ever been perfect.

Christian was broken out of his memories by the sound of his mobile phone. He went to pick it up and smiled at the name on the screen 'Syed'. Their plane left in 5 hours and Christian couldn't wait for them to spend some time just them, away from the stresses of Walford.