Red Wild
Summary: The team is sent to the woods to forge closer links between the team members- and they are supposed to sleep in single tents. Too bad that Lisbon is slightly afraid of the dark and starts to hear strange things in the night…
Rated M for adult situations- and since the plot isn't that great, it could even be named PWP up to some point- decide for yourself! Forgive me if I'm OOC sometimes- it's boring when they behave oh so rational :D!
My descriptions of Californian wildlife- I took quite some artistic license there.
By the way, if some of you think I plan to shamelessly use the poor plot to have Jane and Lisbon make out in a tent- you're right. Of course.
Disclaimer: The Mentalist- not mine. Really.
"Ohhhhhhh," Patrick Jane shouted with glee, clapping his hands like an over-enthusiastic five-year-old," I soooo loooove camping!"
Senior special agent Teresa Lisbon glared at him.
"Why am I not surprised?", she growled.
"Yes," Jane said, smiling brightly," why aren't you?"
"I don't know," Lisbon murmured, "you just seem to like everything that's…unpredictable, unorderly and…messy."
"Huuuh," Jane exclaimed, "seems fearless agent Lisbon doesn't like the great wild outdoors, hmmm?"
"No," she snarled," I don't like it, okay? I don't like animals , especially if they are not domesticated, I don't like poison ivy, ants, spiders, brrrrrr…why do we have to do this bonding stuff, it's completely non-sense!"
"Ah, it's not!", Jane chuckled," it'll be wonderful to spend some time with your fellow agents, you'll see. You are going to like it, Lisbon! Fresh air, nature all around you- you can get in touch with your primal core, so to say."
Lisbon closed her eyes in agony. A whole week in the middle of nowhere with Patrick Jane? Sleeping in a teeny-weeny tent in the woods of all places, surrounded by trees, scary wildlife and complete darkness? She shuddered. No, she definitely didn't want to do that.
Unfortunately, Madeleine Hightower hadn't given her much choice- new CBI guidelines, bla bla bla, every team had to do this stupid survival-week in the forest to forge a stronger bond between team-members. Which was about the most stupid thing she had heard in quite a while, and hell, she worked with Patrick Jane!
The close links between team members were built in the field- working, trusting, sticking your necks out for each other…not roasting sausages over a stupid campfire, meanwhile killing poisonous spiders- spiders. Uaaahhh. Lisbon stifled the urge to cringe.
Jane seemed to be out of his mind with bliss, though. Well, why shouldn't he? He enjoyed being outdoors, she had always known that. Flora and fauna tended to behave as erratic as her utterly capricious consultant, so it was no surprise he loved it.
She sighed. Damn, she would just head home, spend the weekend in bed, totally frustrated, and then pack some things for this damn survival trip. And she just hoped she would manage to do just that-survive.
xxMentalistxx
Monday morning came, and what a glorious morning it was- warm air, bright sunshine, a perfect summer day.
Agent Lisbon looked as if her left leg was about to be amputated.
But Rigsby, Cho and van Pelt seemed happy enough, so she decided not to be a spoilsport and put up a brave front. No matter how bad this trip would turn out. Speaking of bad, where the hell was…
"Hello, everybody!", an utterly cheerful voice thundered through the woods. Patrick Jane marched onto the clearing, walking stick in his hand, carrying a large rucksack on his back. He looked healthy, rested and jolly with his windblown curls, glittering green eyes and casually turned up sleeves beneath the grey vest….
"You're wearing a three-piece-suit on a camping trip?", Lisbon asked incredulously.
"Of course, Lisbon dear," Jane smiled, I always wear them!"
She sighed.
"Okay, folks," she said, "this is the place where we're going to arrange our tents- here they are." She showed them a neat pile of packed tents, " Little gift from the CBI- you can keep them after this trip. One tent per team-member, please. During the next days, we'll undertake small trips into the forest and try to master some…tasks, so to say. Nothing exhausting. It's all about this bonding stuff, so prepare to talk a lot. Well, we get through this. I guess. Okay…let's build the tents."
Everybody grabbed a tent and chose a spot on the clearing.
Jane squatted down, opened the tent-bag and spilled the contents on the ground. He didn't read the instructions, but looked at the different components for some seconds, and built the tent in under three minutes.
Lisbon scowled at him. She still struggled with the instructions and the stupid tent forty minutes later, all the time feeling Jane's amusement hovering in the air around her. Yes, very funny, you moron…
It was unnerving how much at ease he felt in this godforsaken place- he sat in front of his tent, propped up against his backpack, solving his damn sudoku puzzles.
Occasionally he said things like: "Careful, Rigsby, there's the net of a latrodectus hesperus directly next to your head- it' venomous!", followed by Rigsby's terrified holler.
She hated him so much, there simply weren't enough words for it.
She came pretty close to a nervous breakdown before finally Jane had mercy, got up slowly, stretching his elegant body like a graceful animal, and strolled over to her.
She was grateful that he didn't comment on the embarrassing situation- he just flashed his megawatt smile at her and built her tent with a flick of the wrist.
"Thank you.", she growled, averting her gaze, stubbornly folding her arms.
"My pleasure, Lisbon," he said softly, smile so bright she felt blinded.
She glared at him. How dare he look so damn good anyway? In this ridiculous suit that hugged his body perfectly, with his sexily disheveled hair and the sparkling green eyes, and this irritating smile…
Darn. This would be the longest seven days of her life. For sure.
Well- shall I continue this one? Tell me your thoughts, please! As I said- it's just a light-hearted whiff of nothing…no new episodes, so nothing begs me to be written. I just try to entertain myself :D.