A/N: I've been feeling pretty upset for the past couple of days… I can't sleep, so I decided I would write, maybe make myself feel a little better... Sorry it's short. Review(:

"Hey Sonny!" My friend's walked into my dressing room.

"Hey." I smiled up at them.

"We're all going to Nico's house to swim. You want to come with us?" Grady asked me.

I shook my head. "No, I'm good."

"Please Sonny!" Zora begged.

"I'm sorry; I'm just not in the mood." I shrugged.

"You are never in the mood." Tawni huffed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Yeah!" Nico and Grady said in sync.

"I'm sorry… another time." I smiled at them, waving them out of the room. They all left, but Tawni.

"Aren't you going?"

"You can't kick me out of my own dressing room." She stated.

"Sure I can. Go hang out with them."

"I want you to come too! It's so boring with just them." She walked closer to me.

"I don't want to Tawn."

"Fine." She turned around fast causing her hair to hit me in the face. "By Sonny."

"By Tawni" My smile faded as soon as she walked out the door. I wasn't happy. They all thought I was, they thought I was fine-thought I was being normal Sonny, happy Sonny. But I wasn't. I just covered it up well. They don't see the scars on my legs or wrists-I cover them up. They can't tell I have lost weight. They just don't pay attention to me anymore… No one does! Not my mom, Grady, Zora, Nico or Chad, not even my best friend Tawni! They just mostly care about them self's.

I didn't want to go to Nico's because I hate the way I look in my bathing suit. I've lost weight. I know that. I just don't feel like I have.I don't eat regularly. Only have a one small thing a day. When I look in the mirror all I see is fat. No guy wants a fat girl. They like skinny girls. Like Tawni. She's perfect in every way… her hair, her eyes, her cloths, and her body! I want a body like that! Every guy wants her, even girls want her! I even want her! But there is no way she would ever want me too… She only thinks of me as her friend. From the moment I met her all I wanted was her attention.

I walked over to my changing area, looking into the mirror. I am ugly. My face, it's ugly. My nose is too big and my eyes are too far apart! And my hair looked like a rats nest resting on my head. Ugh.

I took off the dress I was wearing to scan my body over; dark red lines were slashed across my wrists and thighs. Places where no one could see them. No one has ever seen them, besides Chad when I went over a couple weeks ago-just as friends. Yet another thing I didn't want. He was also one of my best friends; kind of anyways.

Flashback

"Sonny?" Chad asked me, I pulled my eyes away from Facebook on his computer, to the left to see him sitting up on his bed.

"Hmm?" I smiled at him.

"Come here." He said grabbing the chair pulling I was sitting in towered him. My heart started skipping; I was so close to him. "W-what?" I blinked.

He grabbed my left arm, pulling the sleeve of my shirt down to my elbow. "Sonny…" I pulled my arm away fast, backing up from him. "D-don't say anything!"

"Why did you do this to yourself?" He stood up. Anger written all over his face "Tell me!" He ordered after I didn't respond.

"I-I D-d-don't know." Tears started forming in my eyes. I stood up fast and grabbed my things, running out his door. How could I be so stupid!

End

That was the last time I talked to Chad, I have been avoiding him ever sense then. He hasn't told anybody though, which I'm grateful for, but at the same time, I feel unloved and like he doesn't care, but what can I do? I' just a girl. A girl who has nothing.

I wanted to be dead. I wanted to get away from this pain and suffering. I needed to. I wanted to be someone I'm not. I wanted to be happy, and skinny, and perfect all around. I want to be the girl that every guy wants. That makes straight girls have fantasies about. I wanted to be perfect. Like Tawni… She is so beautiful, and she knows it. She knows that she us jaw drooping gorgeous... She made my knees shake when she walks by. I thought I was straight, until I met her.

I started crying. Why can't this pain just leave my body? Please, someone help me. I am nothing.

A/N: First off, cutting is a serious issue, and starving your self is too. If you are suffering from these things, you should look for help. And I know it's hard to ask for help, but I did it and I am so much happier. You can also PM me if you want to talk, I will listen.

Okay, it got kind of lame at the end :P but I think this will only be a two or three shot(: I hope you guys like it? I did actually. I have a couple stories saved on my lap top similar to this one. And no this is not a Tonny or a Channy fiction. It's just about Sonny and struggles she is facing being attracted to both of them.

I will update as soon as I can. I already know how I want it to end. Any guesses? Review please. I've had some really shitty couple of days. You always make me so happy :D And once again, I am so super sorry for not updating my other stories. I am done with the new chapter for mostly all of them but Bad Romance. I don't know what to write about anymore with it :/

And if you have read any of my other stories in the past you know that I am a night owl and stay awake for like ever(: As I type this it's 5:00AM in Cali. And I'm stupid and can't find the fucking spell check on Word. So I'm sorry if anything is spelled wrong.

PM me if you want!(:

Love, love.

Firelady101

Oh, before I forget, can you guys check out the poll on my profile. Okay? Thanks!