DEja Vu _ Rated M for Adult Content, Graphic Sexual Situations, Strong Language, Some Violence.

My very first fanfic ever. Thanks to the DE girls who inspired me to write it. I hope you enjoy it for what it is. I don't claim to own any of these characters. I wrote the first 3 chapters at the end of 2010 before DE were a couple on the show and abandoned it. And then I finished it in 2013, the summer before S5 started. We all know at the end of S3 the show had written in that DE met first, which was a happy surprise. My fanfic had new meaning for me since that's exactly how I wrote it, as DE meeting first. So after careful contemplation & S4 finally giving us Delena, I decided to finish it and couldn't stop writing for a month. I had just always invisioned DE's love to be so passionate, so deep, so unbreakable and I needed to express it in words. I wanted to give their love a voice. And a lot of steamy sex doesn't hurt either. I hope you enjoy it.

It was a dark, dreary and foggy night. No sounds could be heard for miles and miles. I found myself in the deep forest miles away from my humble abode. I'd given up human blood for a little while now, trying to follow the example of my brother Stefan, who I hadn't seen in many years. I had been seeking any random animal to feed on but nothing enticed me. I deplored the taste of animal blood and the transition hadn't gone smoothly. I had no idea how long my resistance to human blood would or could even last before I craved the taste again.

I had wandered endlessly with nowhere to go, without my past love Katherine, who was lost to me forever. She turned into a manipulative and spiteful vampire who played twisted head games with me and my brother. I had resigned myself to the fact she never truly loved me like she had professed to love my brother. I resented him and blamed him for many years, even hated him, but now, through long contemplation, I realized that Katherine was the death of both of us. She was cold and calculating and used us against each other. She lied to both of us. The love I thought I had for her had long since past. I hated that bitch. After all was said and done, I'd come to realize the only person she knew how to love was herself.

I had considered relentlessly about going to seek out my brother and make amends, but I'd always talked myself out of it when the thought presented itself and tried to put it out of my head. He was just as to blame as I was for the state of our relationship and he hadn't lifted a fucking finger to change that. And being stubborn and prone to holding grudges as I was, I waited for years for him to make his move. And waiting somehow turned into moving on and trying to forget the past. I don't know, maybe I was just destined to be lost in this world all alone with no one.

I anxiously returned home after scarcely feeding and hurriedly opened my laptop that was sitting on the kitchen table. I thought to myself, Will she be there? What should I say? What will she say? Why do I even care so much?

I opened it up and clicked on the icon. I couldn't get to the chatroom fast enough. I breathed a sigh of relief when the page loaded and I saw the screen name: BrownEyedGirl. I didn't know why I had that feeling of anxiety building up inside me, but there was something about this girl I couldn't shake. The way she sought me out upon my first entry and welcomed me to the room that I had just happened to stumble upon by accident when looking into Mystic Falls, a place I hadn't been for years. Maybe it was fate. She wanted to get to know me in spite of all the other people she obviously knew in the chatroom. She completely ignored everyone else that first night but me. She grew to understand me and my obvious unconventional personality-well, as good as someone could without knowing who I really was.

Before I could even make out a coherent thought about what to type down, I saw the prompt blinking and I saw her screenname:

BrownEyedGirl: "Hey, NomaD, how are you? I've been waiting for you."

I didn't know why I felt so comfortable talking to her. I'd never seen her before. She wasn't like anyone I had met in this century. She asked about me, how I was, how my day was going. No one gave a shit about that before, but she did. I let her get to know a part of me that no one had known for years. We'd talked on and off for three months now and I felt I knew her already. I didn't know how or why, but I felt I needed her.

BrownEyedGirl: "Hey, are you still coming to Mystic Falls next Friday to meet up with your sister or was it brother?"

NomaD: "My brother."

BrownEyedGirl: "Well, I'm going on a trip with my parents on Saturday and I can't get out of it, but I have a party I'm supposed to go to Friday night. Would you have time to swing by there so we could meet up? I'd really like to meet you in person while you're in town, Nomad."

I didn't hesitate and I quickly typed down the words before thinking:

NomaD: "I'll make the time. Tell me the time and place."

BrownEyedGirl: "Friday, 9:00 p.m., 555 Johnson Place. I'll see you there. I'll be wearing a blue dress with a bow on the back."

NomaD: "Sounds perfect."

BrownEyedGirl: "Well, how will I recognize you?"

NomaD: "I'll be the guy who can't take his eyes off of you and your blue dress."

BrownEyedGirl: "I really can't wait to see you, you know that?"

NomaD: "Likewise :)"

FRIDAY, 9:05 p.m.

I had made my way to the party in Mystic Falls not knowing what to expect. The town was still small and quiet and not much had changed. I'd go pay Stefan a surprise visit tomorrow morning, but tonight the only thing on my mind was meeting this girl. I parked down the street a ways and turned off the engine. I stepped out of the car and put on my leather jacket as I turned toward the driveway of the house.

My mind was racing and my palms were sweaty and I couldn't seem to focus, which was unfamiliar and odd considering I hadn't felt this way before, not even with Katherine. I was actually anxious. I'd met and been with many women, but this was contrary to those meaningless hookups. This meeting had me on edge, but it was an excited and anticipatory edge, not the run for my life and jump off a cliff kind that most women drove me to. I had no problem getting women; it was getting rid of them that was the problem.

I hadn't even seen her face, but somehow I knew it didn't matter. It wasn't about that. Somehow this went deeper and I knew that what I felt was somehow different, not random, and this force was pulling me toward her with every ounce of my being. But judging from my past experiences, I didn't go in expecting too much. I just knew I was excited and intrigued to meet this girl more than anything else I'd imagined.

I finally made it up to the house and I walked up to the front door. Before I could manage to knock, the door flung open.

"Hey, man, I'm Tyler. Come on in."

Well, that was easier than I thought it would be. I crossed the threshold of the door and entered into the foyer. Ahead of me I could see the room was full of smoke and people, lots of people I didn't give two shits about. I pushed myself through the crowd. I had my eyes focused and ready to find the girl in the blue dress.

As I moved through the living room, I didn't see her. As I continued to scan the room, I hesitated momentarily when I caught the color of blue in my periphery view. I turned anxiously to see if it was her and was quickly disappointed. It was just some girl wearing a very big and hideous blue plaid sweater trying, very badly I might add, to catch some jock's attention next to her and it wasn't working. I almost felt sorry for her, but didn't she see Miss Lowcut-Skintight-Red-Mini-Dress girl standing next to her who was drinking far too much, flirting with the same guy, and had his full attention? Maybe you shouldn't have worn that oversized plaid wool turtleneck sweater that ran all the way up to your neck, sweetheart. Very, very bad pre-party planning.

I found my way out to the back deck, which spread out the length of the house. Still couldn't see her. Where the fuck is she? Then it happened. Through a crowd of people and a wall of smoke, a path cleared and I spotted the most beautiful blue color I'd ever seen. I focused on it and stopped in my tracks. She was facing away from me and all I could see was the back of her. She stood there in her royal blue backless dress with a perfectly tied bow that sat low on her waist. I saw the smooth silhouette of a girl in a dress that hugged every curve of her body. She was a vision in that color. Her long brown hair fell close to her waist and blew in the wind as she stood still. I hadn't seen her face yet, but I knew it was her. I felt it was her. I knew I'd found my reason for being there.

As I caught my breath, I slowly started to move toward her. It seemed like an eternity for me to make my way to her. I had managed to make it within ten feet of her, when a distorted and high-pitched voice from out of nowhere called out to her from my right, "Elena, do you need something to drink?"

As she turned to respond, I caught the side of her face. I froze in the very step I was taking. The vision I saw cut me like a knife. The profile of a familiar face haunted me to my core. What was it I was seeing? Was it – no, it couldn't be. Could it? Before I could rationalize a coherent thought or do anything with what I was seeing, she had turned all the way around, facing me. Her eyes caught mine and she looked at me for a brief second and then her eyes widened. I froze. I had seen a ghost, a bitch of a ghost at that. It was Katherine.

As she made her way toward me, I hesitated. I thought I had been tricked and my mind was on revenge. Then, out of nowhere, she smiled at me. Her smile engaged me and lit up the room. It was genuine and sweet; it wasn't calculating or devious. What the hell is happening? She looks like Katherine but she is not Katherine.

As she glided toward me, I watched her every move. She moved nothing like Katherine. Her aura was that of an angel. She had an innocence about her that Katherine never had. She was everything Katherine wasn't and I only saw the brown eyed girl that I had fallen for. I thought of leaving right then, but I knew I had to meet her just once. I had to see for myself. So I smiled back at her and walked towards her.

Holy Shit, is that him? That can't be him. Oh, my God, but if that's him, I'm literally going to die. Get a hold of yourself, Elena. It's just a guy. But fucking look at him. Every girl in here is looking at him. Those eyes, those crystal blue eyes are simply incredible and they are staring right at me. I'm walking straight toward him and I can't take my eyes off of him. Look at his face, it's gorgeous. It's more than gorgeous. It's actually making me nervous to look at him. Oh, God, he's smiling at me. Am I smiling back or just gawking? Come on, Elena, smile, act natural, do fucking something. Do I look okay? Why am I so nervous all of a sudden?

I've never seen anyone like him before and I've seen a lot of guys. His dark messy hair is so damn sexy. Hot damn, he looks hot in that leather jacket and those jeans. He's got that bad-boy thing going on, that's for sure. But I know him, Nomad is sweet and caring and kind, but can all of that be wrapped up in this...this...this masterpiece of a fine-ass specimen walking towards me? What the hell am I going to say to him? I'm already tongue-tied and cussing like a sailor and not making sense. Wow, things are really going to get interesting...

"Hi, are you Nomad?" she said.

Her voice was not familiar, but it sang to me. It was soft and sweet and unrehearsed. She sounded angelic.

"Well, yes, I am, but you can call me Damon, D-a-m-o-n."

"Very, clever, Damon. That's Nomad spelled backwards."

I smiled at her beautiful cheerful face and said,"Well, obviously not clever enough."

She smiled the most ridiculously gorgeous smile, one that I had never seen on Katherine's face before. She was no Katherine. She was the opposite.

"Wow, I'm so glad you came. I'm so happy to meet you in person. I feel like I know you already. I'm Elena, Elena Gilbert."

"Nice to finally meet you, Elena – in person, that is." I was lost in her every move and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

Just then, a blonde walked up, kind of prissy and definitely nosy. "Hey, Elena, who's your friend?"

"Caroline, this is Nomad. Nomad, this is Caroline." Elena just gave me a cute wink as she said my alternate name.

I said quickly, "Nice to meet you, Caroline."

The girl kind of shot me a look and pulled Elena aside. She tried to whisper but I could hear her words clearly. "He is so hot. Where did you meet him? I'm so jealous."

Elena whispered as soft as she could, "I'll tell you later."

I could tell Elena didn't want to reveal too much to Caroline. "I promise, Caroline, I'll tell you later."

The nosy blonde turned to leave and stopped to say, "Oh, by the way, Bonnie isn't coming. She's feeling a bit under the weather tonight."

I couldn't stop staring at this girl in front of me. She was alive and free and she lit up the night sky. Her every move, her gestures, her soft, sweet voice, her spunkiness were all intoxicating. I couldn't look away from her. I knew within seconds of meeting her she was who she said she was and I was completely under her spell.

Suddenly she cracked the sweetest half smile and said, "Hey, you want to go for a walk with me?"

I looked at her assuredly and said, "I'd love to. Lead the way, Elena."

We headed down the back deck, which led to a very narrow path. We followed along it and we talked about everything and nothing for it seems like hours. I wanted to know everything there was to know about this girl. Why was she so intriguing and why was I completely drawn to her? I couldn't look away from her. She demanded my attention without even asking for it. I was in awe of her and her spunky spirit.

Despite Elena having Katherine's physical appearance, Elena's voice, her mannerisms, her gestures, her laugh, her smile and genuine demeanor was that of a completely different person, a kind and caring individual, something Katherine never was. From that moment on, I never saw Katherine when I looked at her. I only saw Elena and she was captivating and I studied every inch of her.

After walking and talking for a while, we spotted a bench under a light pole that sat a few hundred feet from a rather large lake we had walked up on. It was a rare sight. The water was shimmering with moonlight and it was quiet and peaceful and, most notably, very private, just what I had wanted. We sat down next to each other and Elena, without hesitation, snuggled close to me and placed her head on my chest.

"Are you cold?" I said.

"Just a little," her voice was unsteady as she said it.

I took off my leather jacket and began to put it around her. She gazed into my eyes and never lost contact with mine. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Her brown, gorgeous hair was blowing in the wind and her angelic face was glistening from the reflection of the overhead lights. How was I so lucky to have met this girl who I knew I couldn't have.

We sat in silence breathing in the salty air for a few minutes. Elena gently lifted up her head and whispered softly into my ear, which gave me a sudden chill through my body.

"I've never met someone under these circumstances before, but I knew right away there was something about you that allowed me to trust you, to feel safe. I feel I know you already, Damon. Is that strange?"

"I hope not, because I feel the same," I said as I smiled at her.

I gasped at the idea that she thought I could be safe. I was a vampire, a killer. She trusted me and I could never tell her the truth without putting her in danger. But I wanted at that moment to kiss her, to never let her go.

Can't I just see how it feels for one moment to kiss her? Would it really be that different than all the other times I've kissed someone? Oh, God, I know it will be. I actually care how she feels and I want her to know how I feel. I want to show her.

I got up the nerve and I uttered, "Elena, can I ask you something?"

She kept her head lying on my chest as she said, "Sure, you can ask me anything."

Just as I began to speak, she sat up and leaned in just inches from my face. She looked at me with those fiery brown eyes as I managed to blurt out without thinking, "What would you do if I kissed you right now?"

She swallowed hard. "Do you want to kiss me right now?" she asked.

"Oh...yes...I really want to kiss you right now, Elena."

Her whole face lit up as she said, "I've been wanting you to kiss me for a while now."

I was taken aback by her response. "You mean tonight?"

"No, I mean since I got to know you as Nomad. I knew without seeing you, I was drawn to you in some way. You had this sense of humor that was bordering on charming and full of yourself at times, but you were always so interested in what I had to say, so your flirtatious and very playful ego never took center stage. You put me at the center of your attention and you kept me there."

"Because that's where you deserve to be."

"See, what I mean? There's that charming side I was talking about."

"It's not my best side, you know," I said with a flirtatious smile."

She grinned widely. "There was just something so magnetic and dynamic about the way we communicated with each other, Damon. It's like we got each other. It's like we were on the same page. And it all happened before we ever laid eyes on each other. I mean, it's just so different."

"Different how?" I asked.

"You wanted to know me and you took your time to do that without ever seeing me. That's not how most guys are."

"I'm not most guys."

"I can see that," she smiled the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

I exhaled loudly. She felt something for me as I did for her before we ever laid eyes on the other. We had a connection. She felt it and I felt the exact same way. At this point, looking at her gorgeous face, listening to her soft voice, and reading her body language, I didn't hesitate any longer. I wanted her lips, I craved her perfect pointed full lips. I put her cheek in my hand and looked at her intently. I didn't want to rush anything with her but I had to kiss her.

"About that kiss, Elena..."

I leaned in and I kissed her upper lip ever so slowly and I stayed there just to gauge her reaction. She responded by letting out a sigh and licking her lips, showing me she was ready for it. Oh, she wants more. I can see it.

I could taste her cherry lip balm. It was overwhelmingly tasty and sweet. As she began to respond, I felt my body quiver and my heart beat faster. I was alive with the knowledge of her wanting me to kiss her. She leaned in now showing me she wanted the same thing I did and I heard her breathing become heavier and more intense. God, I fucking want her.

My tongue slipped inside of her waiting mouth and her tongue met mine. The kiss was instantaneously gratifying. The kiss kept building and became more and more passionate. I wanted to stay inside her mouth forever, tasting her, feeling her, kissing her. The pleasure it brought me and it obviously brought her was clear. It was the most unimaginable sensual kiss I'd ever felt and I didn't think I could stop. I didn't want to stop. Why did she have such an effect on me?

What is happening to me? Why do I feel like I know him already? Is this love at first sight? Is that what this is? I knew I had a strong connection to him before we ever met but what I'm feeling isn't normal, is it? I want him. I need him. I don't ever want to stop kissing him. Who even gets kissed like this? Apparently I do. He is making me feel things I never knew I could feel. He's completely perfect in every way. I want so much more. I could be with him right now and never question it because I trust him. Why do I trust him? There is just something about him. I'm drawn to him and I can't explain it but I know I can' t walk away from him. Oh, God, does he have to look at me like that? He's so fucking gorgeous and did I mention sexier than a motherfucker. And he wants me, Elena Gilbert. How did I ever get so lucky? Oh, shit, I think I'm in love or I will be in a matter of seconds...

I couldn't get enough of her. I could stay here with her like this forever. As I kissed her, I could feel her body reacting to it. Then from a distance, I heard a faint yell coming from behind us and I tried to ignore it, hoping I was imagining it. I never wanted to pull away from her or stop touching her. I had a hold of her face and she had a hold of my neck and we were fully committed to this kiss and each other. I pulled back only for a second to look at her and prove to myself this was really happening.

"What is it?" Elena whispered.

"Nothing, I just wanted to look at you, Elena. You're so damn beautiful."

She smiled at me while still breathing heavily and she leaned into me and kissed my neck and whispered in my ear. "Please don't stop, Damon. I've never been kissed like this before."

"Because I've never kissed anyone like you before," I whispered breathlessly.

"How is this happening, Damon? I'm feeling things for you I don't know how to explain."

"Let's not try to explain it, okay? I just want more of you. I can't get enough."

"I want more, Damon, so much more..."

"Mmm, Elena, I'll give you whatever you want. You just have to ask."

We began to kiss again and it consumed us. We were so caught up in it that we didn't even realize that the yelling had gotten closer and closer. Elena finally heard it and pulled away from me abruptly.

Fuck, not now. Anytime but now...

"Oh, that must be Caroline reminding me of the time. It seems to have gotten away from me. I'm sorry, Damon, it's past my curfew and I'm so gonna get grounded. I've got to go on a trip tomorrow with my parents. I completely forgot. I wonder how that happened. I'm so sorry, Damon. I don't want to leave here, but I have to. Can you give me your number so I can call you when I get back? I really want to see you again. I have to see you again."

I wanted so badly to respond to her request, to see her again, but it suddenly hit me what I was doing. I didn't contemplate things getting this complicated. I knew I could never subject her to my way of life, the dangers, the risks and the darkness, and take her from her uncomplicated and safe one she had. I couldn't let this go on beyond tonight, beyond this moment. I had no idea this would happen, that I would feel this way. I shouldn't have come here, but it was the best night of my life. I hadn't cared about anyone in years, but I cared about her. And the way I felt about her was different than anything I had ever felt. What was happening to me?

I knew what I had to do. I had to let her go. It hadn't gone too far to fix this. I could never forgive myself if something ever happened to her. I had to make her forget. It had to end here tonight. I had to give her up. I couldn't be selfish with her life just because I had found "the one" who made me question everything.

As she looked into my eyes, I hesitated for a second so I could remember the look she was giving me at that very second because I knew I would never see it again.

"I can't wait to see you again, Damon. I will never forget you or this night, ever, I promise."

The thought of that gutted me deep because I knew it wouldn't be true. I had to make her forget. It was the only thing I could do to protect her.

I managed to find the strength to say, "I'll never forget you or this night either, Elena."

Right then, as much as it hurt me, I looked deep into her longing brown eyes and compelled her to forget we had ever met, that I had ever been a part of her life. I compelled her to never remember. I watched her walk away from me and I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I couldn't understand my pain.

At that moment, I had to leave town or I knew I wouldn't be able to. I couldn't even face my problems with my brother now, so that had to wait. I left Mystic Falls for what I thought would be a long, long time. Oh, how I was wrong...

Six months later...

All my bags were packed. I was headed back to Mystic Falls. It was time to face my brother, Stefan. It had been years since I had seen him and it was time to rectify that. When I had left her, I never wanted to go back to Mystic Falls, too much pain, too much temptation. But my pain turned to fear when my worst nightmare happened. The girl I left behind to protect from this dangerous life of mine and all that entailed was in some way connected with my brother. What would happen when I got there wasn't anything I could have ever imagined and would change my life forever...