Disclaimer: I own nothing but my thoughts

Elliot's POV

"CLEAR!"

I watch your body come up off the gurney and quickly release with a thump. I can't believe I let this happen. I was suppose to always have your back. I would give anything to have taken that bullet for you. I know that to others I'm just your partner but to me, you're my everything. I knew I loved you the moment I saw you. But now in this moment, I'm sorry I never told you.

"You gotta save her" I say "please don't let her die" I say it a little louder this time. Feeling a hand on my shoulder, a nurse gently pushes me back out of the room. I want to object but I have no control over by body.

FEW DAYS EARLIER

Olivia and Elliot both stood in the bathroom. The stalls had been checked and when they turned up empty, the door had been locked

Elliot propped the plastic bag he had in his hand up on the sink and turned to look at his partner "ok, so I got like five different types of tests" he was fumbling with the bag

Olivia knew he was nervous. Hell, she was just as nervous as him if not more. Silently, she took one of the boxes out of the bag and walked into the stall closest to the pair.

"So what do you think about the Harmon case? Do you think the kid meant to kill his parents?" he was trying to make small talk. Anything to keep him from going crazy.

She pulled up her pants in one swift move and lifted her foot to flush the toilet. Walking out into the area that occupied her partner "I don't know" she rested the content from her hand on the sink and washed her hands "I mean on the one hand he was remorseful about what happened but at the same time, the look in his eyes El" she let out a sigh and shook her head.

They stood with their backs against the sink for a couple more minutes until Olivia's phone beeped. She looked down at the white stick on the counter. Her heart was beating faster then ever. Lifting it up, two lines greeted her eyes. She turned to him, her face blank. Before she could speak he was talking.

"It's a no isn't it" he let out a breath "oh thank god" a smile crept up on his face. He had a wife at home and five kids. They had just gotten back together and in his mind what he and Olivia had or didn't have wasn't serious.

"I mean what we did was a mistake right?" it sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more then her.

She looked at him. Though her face was blank before, it wasn't now. Her eyes said it all. She threw away the test and grabbed the bag. She looked up at him before walking out.

"Yeah El, it's a no"

She unlocked the door and walked out before he could see the tears coming down her face. She walked to her desk and got her jacket from the back of her chair. She was in no mood to work. She did an about face and walked into the captains office.

"Cap, this flu is getting the best of me right now. You think I can have the rest of the day off?"

"Yeah sure Liv. Take as much time as you need. I don't want you getting the rest of the guys sick"

She walked away and past the looks that her co-workers were giving her. She didn't, however, manage to dodge the one look she really didn't want casted on her. Elliot's.

"Hey, hey, you ok? What's going on? You leaving?" he tried to look her in the eyes but she was doing a damn good job at looking anywhere but in his.

"Yeah, I'm not feeling good. I'll see you later" with that she walked away. Fresh tears flowed down her face as she made her way to her car.

She threw her stuff into the passenger's side and slid into the driver's seat. Starting the car, she put her hands on the steering wheel as she began to back out of her parking spot. As she drove through the city she began to think. Am I nothing to him. Was I just a quick fuck? Just a way to relieve some sexual tension. Silly me for thinking that after twelve years of being partners, he might actually feel the same way I did. Maybe it's a guy thing. Not the first time I've been used for sexual favors. Difference is, he wasn't some blind date Alex or Casey tried to set me up on. This time it was Elliot. She came to a stop in a parking spot surprisingly in front of her building. She put the car in park and took the key out of the ignition.

Softly, as if the child inside could feel it, she laid her hand on her flat stomach. "Don't worry little one. Even if your dad doesn't want you, I do". She grabbed her things and got out of the car. When she stepped onto the sidewalk she looked at her watch. It was only two o'clock. She'd go on to tell her next door neighbor that she was home early and didn't have to pick up Calvin from school. In return the twenty-something year old asked her if everything was alright.

"Yeah everything's good, Kelly"

"Okay Ms. B. If you change your mind and need me to pick him up just let me know, I don't have class until seven today" the girl slid back into her apartment and Olivia retreated to hers. Rolling her neck a few times, satisfied when she heard a few pops, she walked into the kitchen. He stomach was still churning so she went to the sink and got a glass of water.

"Whoever named it morning sickness obviously wasn't pregnant" she said out loud. As the rest of the afternoon progressed or at least until she had to go pick up Calvin, all she could think about was the person growing inside of her.

A/N: Sooooo I haven't written in a loooonng while but I had this in my head. Some reviews would be lovely darlin's but reading it will do just fine too.