Hell o' a Gecko
*Author's note: Please be aware that I don't remember crap from the Paper Mario Chronicles and barely for the end of the Paper Mario Chronicles 2, so if you find a flaw in the plot or story, then don't bug me about it, because the Paper Mario Chronicles plotline is so screwed up right now, that fixing it would screw it up even more, so just ignore the flaws please. Also, this happens after Super Paper Mario.*
Last time on The Paper Mario Chronicles!: Samus went away in her space-ship, everyone thought luigi died but he was living a secret life where he was married to the Shadow Queen and a son named Timmy,
and Diddy Kong got upset that his friend was gay with Tubba Blubba. Oh and Lord Crump went evil.
Prologue
Lord Crump: How could she just reject me? Noone rejects Lord Crump!
X-naught 1: I don't know about that man. Your name just sounds awful. I mean, who wants do date a guy named Lord Crump! You should change your name!
Lord Crump: How about Lord Cramp?
X-naught 1: Uh... no.
Lord Crump: Lord Crap? Lord Crud? Lord Crawdad? Lord Crustacean?
X-naught 1: You know what? Your name is now Lord Cranberry. Also, you should start taking showers, shaving, etc..
A man walks in the room.
Man: Hi guys.
Lord Cranberry shoots him.
X-naught 1: And stop shooting random people that come near you! Now the janitor has a mess to clean up!
Janitor: No I don't! There isn't a mess in my pants!
X-naught 1: We weren't talking about your pants, dude.
Janitor:... you... wanna' talk about my pants?
X-naught 1: Ewww! No!
Janitor: Awwwwww.
Lord Cranberry: Instead of trying to be healthy, I'll get Goombella to go out with me after I dominate the world! And as dictator she'll have to obey me!
X-naught 1: And just how do you plan on dominating the world?
Lord Cranberry: My new robot!
X-naught 1: Magnus von Grapple 3.0?
Lord Cranberry: No, it's got a much more cooler and less perverted name. The Geico Gecko!
Gecko: Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance!
X-naught 1: You know Geico can sue you for stealing their gecko.
Gecko: Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance!
Lord Cranberry: Yes, but who could stop me when I have him! His only and most powerful attack is not shutting up about how I can save 15% or more on car insurance by switching to Geico!
Janitor: Did someone say Guy-co? Mmm...
X-naught 1: Get out of here gay janitor!
Gecko: Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance!
Lord Cranberry: Shutup! Man your annoying!
Gecko: Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance!
Lord Cranberry: Oh no! I think I've lost control of it!
Gecko: Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance!
X-naught 1: Whaddaya' mean?
The Gecko starts walking towards Lord Cranberry.
Lord Cranberry: Stay back! You can't harm me, I'm your master!
Gecko: Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance!
Lord Cranberry falls. The Gecko smashes the wall and jumps outside.
Lord Cranberry: I have to warn Goombella!
Meanwhile...
Tubba Blubba: Hey, Donkey Kong, I brought friends so we can have some fun! This is Chubba Wubba, Gubba Grubba, Snubba Yubba, and Crubba Nubba.
Crubba Nubba: Wa' te' heck is dat'?
Gecko: Geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance!
The Gecko eats Donkey Kong, Tubba Blubba and his cousins. But Twink escapes from Tubba Blubba's belly.
Meanwhile...
Goombario: Yay! We're going out! Now we can make lots and lots of babies!
Goombella: I know! Wait, what was that about babies?
Goombario: You don't want to have Babies?
Goombella: You don't want to adopt babies?
Goombario: I gots an idea! What if we had a baby, then we gave it up for adoption and then adopted it!
Goombella: Good idea! XD
Goombario: I knows! XD
Koopa Troopa Jr.: Goombella, your really not that stupid are you?
Goombella: Sorry, I think Goombario's retardedness is starting to affect me.
Goombario: I am not!
Goombella: Then what's 2 + 2 equal?
Goombario: A b**** pu****?
Goombella: What?
Goombario: Boobs?
Goombella: No! Give an answer that's not sex-related please!
Koopa Troopa Jr.: A**?
Goombella sighs.
Mario: Hey, Koopa Troopa Jr.? I heard your dating Koopie Koo? How'd you do that with Koops in the way?
Koopa Troopa Jr.: Let's just say that Koops became poops and is in a better place now.
Mario: Oh my gosh, you ate him, didn't you? Cannibal!
Koopa Troopa Jr.: How's it going on with you and Princess Peach?
Mario: I can't find her! I tried talking to Luigi about it but he said he couldn't either! HIS wife is a b**** though. I hate her. Good thing she's not technically Princess Peach or anything, right?
Everyone else:...
Mario: Right? Right? Right? Right? Heh, Right? Please say right, guys?
Everyone else:...
Mario:...Oh my god.
Meanwhile...
Shadow Queen: Hey Luigi, did you put Timmy to rest?
Luigi: Oh I put him to rest all right.
Shadow Queen: You killed him?
Luigi: What? NO!
Shadow Queen: Oh. Goodnight!
The Shadow Queen leaves.
Luigi: Timmy got a good night's sleep...
Meanwhile...
Lord Cranberry kicks the door to Mario's house open.
Lord Cranberry: Guys! I've got news! My name is now Lord Cranberry, and I've let loose the Gecko that represents Geico on the world!
Mario: That's horrible!
Lord Cranberry: I know! We have to stop the Gecko!
Mario: Oh, I was talking about your name. That's a horrible name dude.
Lord Cranberry: l:( That isn't the point! We gotta' stop the Gecko! Quick while there's still time!
Twink: There isn't any time! The Gecko ate Donkey Kong, Tubba Blubba's cousins, Tubba Blubba and all the star spirits inside except me and has become all powerful. Nothing can stop it now.
Goombella: Nothing save the Star Rod.
Twink: Nah, that would be too easy a plot. The author wants something new.
Mario: On my last adventure, I had to collect pieces for the pure heart which I gave to Merlon in Flipside. The Pure heart is pure awesomeness. Maybe we could use it's awesomeness to oppose the gecko that represents Geico. But we must be careful with it, for if we should absorb too much awesomeness rays we should become high on awesomeness.
Koopa Troopa Jr. made a mental note in his head about how the Pure heart could get him high.
Lord Cranberry: Then let's set out on our new adventure to find da' pure heart!
Mario: You coming' Twink?
Twink: No, I think I'll stay here and go through your personal belongings.
Mario: Fine with me.
Twink: Why?
Mario: Because their not mine.
Twink: I don't care who's they are.
And so Mario, Goombella, Goombario, Koopa Troopa Jr., and Lord Cranberry once again became friends and set out on a quest to stop Geico from saving us 15% or more on car insurance.
End of Prologue