This is just a small yaoi story of how Kakashi felt about his past and junk and then Gai comes along and helps.
I think its fluff really =P
Oh and please don't flame or anything, I worked hard on this and I like it, so if you don't like emoish stuff or yaoi [which is male X male, btw] DONT READ THIS, THEN!!!!
~*~DISCLAIMER~*~
I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING, BUT THE PLOT!
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Kakashi was at the memorial rock looking down sadly at his team's names. Kakashi sighed, "...I'm sorry, guys....but i'll see you all soon," he said smiling weakly and leaving before going back home.
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Kakashi just finished writing his letter and read it over to see if it would work,
"Dear anyone who cares,
I'm sorry if I made anyone upset by this, but I highly doubt that. My life his no meaning, I'm a disgrace and tend to be a heartless person. I have friends, yes, but not any that actually mean anything to me, those friends I lost long ago by my selfish decisions. When, and if, someone finds this and me, tell everyone i'll watch over them with my friends from above, I'm finally reuniting with them and for once I'm happy. I always wanted to end my life ever since I lost my team and true friends. Now instead of just cutting and numbing the pain it will finally all go away.
Cya,
Kakashi"
Kakashi smiled a bit as he finished reading the letter and folded it once placing it on the living room table. He stood and took a deep breath as he sat on his couch with his old, overused razor. Kakashi wanted to make himself suffer for being the one to make his only friends die, so he slowly sliced down his scarred wrist and arm once, letting old cuts reopen. He gasped a bit as he remembered how Obito had pushed him out of the way and died saving his life. Kakashi's blue eye blurred with tears remembering as he ran the razor down one vein that showed clearly underneath his skin. Now seeing the blood rise up rapidly and blot he remembered Rin, the sweet, innocent one, dying from chakra burn-out by trying to heal him after he was wounded. Kakashi cried out a little more while randomly and quickly cutting into the skin of his wrist, now thinking on how Yodamie had died saving this village, which included himself.
Kakashi hated himself as he watched through tear-filled eyes his own blood flowing from his self-inflicted wounds, soon soaking his left pants leg which his arm laid upon. He coughed slightly, feeling the numbness slowly spreading over his body from his wrist and arm to his chest and soon after, the rest of his body.
Kakashi cried out again, this time loudly as he pressed and shoved the razor deep into his already cut main vein in his wrist before falling a bit to his side, so he laid on the couch arm. He knew it now....how close he was to death, he could feel it throughout his body. The numbness, the shocks of pain, all the blood lost...still losing, it hurt and yet good somehow.
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Gai was training Lee when Lady Tsunade called for him. After hurrying to the office, Gai was told to get Kakashi for a mission she had for him since she knew Kakashi liked to leave the village every once in awhile. Gai didn't even ask why as he just grinned wide and shouted, "Yes, Ma'am!" before running off to Kakashi's apartment, figuring his best friend and rival to be there.
Gai was about to knock at the door when he had a almost muffled cry from inside. Gai was shocked to find out it was Kakashi's voice who held the cry as his eyes widened some, "DON'T WORRY MY INTERNAL RIVAL, I WILL HELP YOU!" he shouted out. Then proceeded in kicking down Kakashi's door and jumped in before couching slight in an attack position, thinking Kakashi was being attacked.
What Gai found, to his surprise, was much worse. He stood in complete shock as he stared at Kakashi's body half sitting, half laying on the couch with blood gushing out of his wrist, tear-streaks down the pale face, a hint of silver coming from the wrist, and worse of all, the blissful smile upon the nearly white lips. Gai, once over the initial shock, ran over teary-eyed before trying to stop the bleeding, yet upon seeing the silver glint again he dug it out as carefully as possible, staring at it for a second.
Kakashi yelled out in pure pleasure as he felt the razor get ripped out of his already torn open vein and wrist. His blue eye opened a little, but seeing a green figure Kakashi groaned softly, trying now to pull away from it, knowing the only person to wear so much green would be Gai. Also knowing Gai would try and help him stay alive Kakashi glared weakly through his half-lidded eye.
Noticing Kakashi moving away from him, Gai narrowed his eyes and gripped Kakashi's left upper arm painfully as he now tried to stop the bleeding once throwing the bloody razor to the ground.
Kakashi winched at the sudden pain in his arm as he stopped moving, but summoned enough strength to speak two words, "...Let..go..."
Yet Gai shook his head speaking softly trying to kept the anger and wprry from his voice, "...No, Kakashi...I wont let you go...your my best friend...and my rival...I wont let you throw your own life away....not for something stupid....I noticed the scars....and wanted to help, too...but you never seemed to open up to me or anyone else...but, if I found you dead I don't know what I would do.....I..I..I probably would kill myself, as well, Kakashi-san..."
Gai cried silently now as he moved his hands around Kakashi's bleeding wrist and applied pressure still trying to stop more blood from flowing.
Kakashi stopped glaring, confused, but also weak as he looked at Gai the best he could, everything was blurry.
"..Y-You actually...c-care?" he asked thinking that no one could like a nearly emotionless disgrace like him, he thought no one cared.
Gai looked at Kakashi, dark black eyes meeting one icy blue eye, "....Yes, why would I not....I mean...I..I....I've always loved you," Gai replied looking down at Kakashi's wrist, tighting his grip some as the blood clotted and soon slowed.
Kakashi's eye widened a bit as he stared at Gai, '...N-No way...I figured Gai was gay...I mean look at him, but...to like someo-....thing like me.....I never thought of that...'
Gai swore under his breath, that was a secret he has kept for four years and now, at last it came out, right when Kakashi was about to die if he didn't hurry and the time wasn't right at all.
Kakashi, very slowly and painfully, turned his arm, the one Gai held, and gently laid his bloody hand onto Gai's, "..I-Im sorry..I never..k-knew...Gai....didn't th-think anyone....would care about m-me like.....that." Kakashi spoke softly actually thinking about living with Gai....it didn't seem too bad in his head since Gai was his only good friend, but it shocked him that it took nearly killing himself to figure out someone cared.
Gai stared at Kakashi's hand as he listened to him, he was scared, but weakly smiled knowing he was at fault just as much of Kakashi himself. Gai gently pulled Kakashi to his chest and while feeling Kakashi go limp in his arms, transported them into Lady Tsunade's office, thinking she could save him.
Tsunade was to say the least, shocked when Gai popped in with a bloody, pale Kakashi in his arms. She quickly ran over and carefully took Kakashi, exmining his arm she began to heal him, glancing at Gai demanding an explanation with her sharp eyes.
Gai sighed, but explained that Kakashi had tried to commit suicide, finding him laying on his couch, bleeding and unconscious. He figured Tsunade didn't need to know the little details....they were moments only the two men would know of.
Tsunade, herself, sighed after hearing the news and healed Kakashi's arm causing the scarring to become only nearly visable white lines. "Well..he'll live....just needs blood in him...a little more than four pints I would say. You take him to the hospital for it now, ok, Gai?" she asked, smiling a little at the relief showing on his face by knowing Kakashi was going to live.
Gai nodded before tenderly taking Kakashi in his arms once more and transported them to the ER room while the medics hurried to hook up Kakashi.
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It was two days before Kakashi woke up in a hospital bed and the first thing he saw was a sleeping Gai's head upon his stomach.
Kakashi smiled weakly, thinking, 'I wonder how long I was out....did he stay here with me?...wait..did he actually save me?!.....I wonder if I dreamt him saying he loved me?...hmm.'
Kakashi sighed after a bit, gently shaking Gai's shoulder, "Hey, Gai....wake up."
Gai woke up, yawning before sitting up and rubbing his sleepy eyes, but seeing Kakashi his eyes widened and he hugged Kakashi just tightly enough to not hurt him. Gai was crying again, yet this time into Kakashi's shoulder, happy he was ok.
Kakashi was shocked and tensed, but slowly relaxed and hugged Gai, rubbing his back comforting, "..It's ok, Gai...I'm ok....thank you," Kakashi said, smiling into Gai's own shoulder.
Gai pulled back some, so he could look Kakashi in the face, smiling and gently wiping his tears away, "I-Im sorry, Kakashi-san...and your welcome," he replied staring into Kakashi's mixed-matched eyes.
'Even with Kakashi's mask on i know he is beautiful,' Gai thought smiling to himself even as the thought crossed his mind.
Kakashi heisted, but gently leaned forward, so his and Gai's foreheads were touching, "...Hey, Gai?"
Gai looked confused at this, but smiled anyway not minding it, "Hmm, Kakashi-san?" he asked wanting to know what Kakashi had to say.
Kakashi looked deeply into Gai's eyes and smiled back at Gai, "..I..I think....I-I love you, too," he said, blushing ever-so lightly.
Gai's eyes widened a bit as he blushed six shades of red, "Oh...um...hehe, that's good then, Kakashi-san...I'm really glad you do," he muttered staring deeply into Kakashi's eyes....he smiles as he now sees Kakashi's red and blue eye brighten with joy and...curiosity?
Kakashi smiled, "...You can take off my mask if you want.....I feel like I should let you...," Kakashi chuckled weakly not sure if he should have said that.
Gai blushed a little more, if possible, but nodded before gently put two fingers in between Kakashi's mask and face, slowly pulling it down.
Gai stared in awe at Kakashi's face, it was more than beautiful; it was perfect. Even the scar that ran across his eye and down to his cheek...It looked so beautiful on Kakashi...like a cherished priceless work of art.
Kakashi watched Gai's face to see his reaction and sighed. '..I knew he would think I'm ugly..I mean..I am..this scar shows that I'm a disgrace,' Kakashi thought sadly, looking donw a bit.
Gai saw Kakashi's face fall, even if it was only a bit, and smiled as he gently gripped Kakashi's chin leaning towards him while the face lifted before softly pressing his lips against Kakashi's.
Kakashi's eyes widened, but they soon went back to normal as he smiled against the kiss, knowing now that Gai thought the exact opposite of what he had eariler thought while gently kissing Gai back.
Gai and Kakashi both melted into the kiss passionately until their oxygen became low and they slowly broke it, smiling at the other's face.
Kakashi, after a moment of comfortable silence, cuddled into Gai's chest while he felt strong arms wrap around him, holding him. They both smiled, knowing that they had each other to love and care for.
'I promise you this, I will always be with you because I know now someone like you cares.'