Title: The Fenway Prophecy, Humor, 1/1.

Author: Lawrence Payne

Rating: PG

Cast: Buffy, Xander, Giles.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. A whole slew of other people own these characters and concepts.

Comments: Constructive feedback is always appreciated. :)

Archiving: If you want to, sure. Feel free. Just tell me if you do.

Summary: Lifting the Curse of the Bambino had some unexpected side effects.

Author's Notes: When I started this fic, I thought it was a purely original idea. Then I see two other authors beat me to the punch by writing similarly themed stories and posting before me. Ohh well! Here's my version anyway. :)

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"Calm down Xander." Buffy instructed, "It's not that big of a deal."

"Calm Down!" Xander yelled as he frantically paced back and forth in front of his television. "How can I calm down?! The apocalypse is coming and all you have to say is 'calm down'."

"You're making a big deal over nothing. It's just a stupid baseball game."

"Stupid baseball game!! No Buffy, this is way bigger than that! This is the apocalypse Buffy! THE Apocalypse!! I'm not talking about the small-time rinky-dink apocalypses we've faced before. No! I'm talking about The Big One! The Biblical Apocalypse!! Judgment Day type stuff! You have to do something!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know! You're the Slayer...! Slay something!"

Buffy shot him a look of pure annoyance.

"Despite his rather... overzealous ravings, he is correct," Giles calmly stated as he walked into the room. "It is a sign of yet another approaching apocalypse."

"See, Giles agrees with me! It is the end of the world."

"Not the end of the world specifically, but it is a sign of it. We have another 20 days or so before that happens."

"20 days?" Buffy questioned.

"The number of days until the next full moon." Giles walked over to the bookshelf. He scanned all of the available selections before he grabbed the book named the Pergamum Codex and opened it to page 48.

"Here it is. 'In the time of continental roar, two cites, the hub of the universe and the port of york, shall wage war. Unto this time will come a demon with great skills in the form of a man. You will know the demon by its given name: Ruthario Prunc.' " Giles broke from his reading for a moment to explain. "Prunc is an ancient Romanian word that means infant or newborn." He returned to the passage. "'The demon brought many years of posterity to the hub, but the city was ungrateful. They reviled the demon for its loathsome ways and banished it to the city of york. The forces of darkness, angry over this banishment, forever cursed the hub of the universe.' "

"'The streets of the hub shall run with blood and cover the feet like wool. The monster the hue of greed shall never know the power of the silver pennant. For at such time the city of beans conquers the pennant and the curse is broken, on the nightfall of the next full moon, the forces of darkness will consume the world. The Earth will tremble and render unto itself a plague of demons unseen in even the greatest depths of Hell. The Slayer will be powerless to stop this plague. The world of man will be forever destroyed.' "

Giles then handed her the book. Buffy quickly read the quoted passages, looking for some way to discredit them.

"Blood running through the street and covering people's feet? Monsters the hue of greed? None of that stuff happened."

"They're metaphors Buffy. The 'covers the feet like wool' line refers to a common foot covering that is colored red. The 'monster the hue of greed' refers to the color of greed, namely money. American money in particular."

"And 'the hub of the universe'?"

"A phrase coined by Oliver Wendell Holmes in 1880."

It took Buffy a few minutes to piece everything together. "The city of beans, the hub of the universe, both refer to Boston. An evil force cursed the city because they traded away their demon. But the Green Monster somehow set itself free and broke the curse. Which means that during the next full moon, which is 20 days from now, an earthquake is going to unleash a whole slew of demons, and there is nothing I can do to stop it?"

There was a long silence in the room as everyone contemplated what was said. Xander was the first to break the silence by calmly saying.

"Told you we were doomed."

END

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