It's strange, isn't it, what 'normal' is? For some, they wake up everyday to a quiet, rustic village and a calming sunrise. Others, they wake up to a bustling metropolis, and pane glass shimmering about the walkway. But, for me? What is my 'normal'? Is it waking up to a lava spewing fortress, in a land where the sun is blocked by sickly black skies? It can't be, can it? It normally doesn't seem like that, at least not to me. I wonder...when people see my home, do they say to themselves, "Wow, what a beautiful abode!", or do they run and cower in fear?

Is that what I want my guests to feel? Terror at not only my castle, but every soul that calls it home?

As I gaze out my window, I find myself glancing at where I think Toad Town is; no way in hell can I see it from here, but I can imagine. Those little toadstool folk should be waking up now, to their warm smiles and laughs. Couples, families, the whole lot. Sometimes...sometimes I find myself yearning for a life as simple as that. Where the only worry is what the humble little item shop will have in stock today. While they marvel at the new coffee brews down at the local cafe, I'm hear, groggy and alone. What a life I lead, eh?

"Your Gnarliness! Rise and shine, we've got a busy day today!" came a familiar voice swinging open the door. Ah, yes, my advisor...and it seems he brought the Elite Trio today. Heh...I still remember the look on their faces when I promoted them back up to the Royal Guard; we held a whole initiation ceremony for them. It's the little things that get you going, y'know?

"Your Surliness!" they shouted simultaneously, bowing afterwards.

"We've new information regarding the progress of your brilliant 'Cataclysm Project', sir!" came Goomp.

"In short, plans are prepared to transition into Phase 1, sir," came Guy.

"Our next course of action, sir, will be decided by you, of course," came Paraplonk.

Kamek shouted at them to speak slower, for "His Highness is groggy, idiots!"

"Ahem...Lord Bowser, we'll be having a meeting to discuss this at noon today. Breakfast is waiting for you downstairs."

With that, the four left, and I was left to ponder the point of it all. Yes, this new plan of mine seemed foolproof, but those two always found someway around it. Star Spirits, time travel, alternate versions of themselves; they always find some means of out doing me. It...makes it really hard to give it my all when I know I'll just be trounced again and again.

It's now that I wish things were different, where I could wake up peacefully in a quiet town, not a care in the world, and just live. Instead of trying and failing over and over again, I could be at peace with those brothers, and no bloodshed would be necessary. But that's not how it's ever going to be. I choose this path, so I might as well follow through with it.

Even so, walking down this same banner filled hallway, seeing these same torches, dragging my feet along the velvet carpet...it's all so mundane, all so familiar. Such a shame, too. I used to love this castle so much, awaiting every new scheme and attack like no one in this world could. But now? Now I only dread the rising sun-at least, I assume it's rising-and my inevitable failure. It's really difficult to stay enthusiastic when you've been beaten for oh so many years. How could someone do this for so long? I don't even know at this point.

Thoughts rolling around in my head in the Dining Hall, my subjects still greet me with a smile. A 'how do you do' there, a 'what's happening, sir', even a 'good to see you, sir' once. Yes, these blokes...they may be idiots, but they're my beloved idiots. Incompetent, yes. Inefficient, most definitely. But hateful? No, not in the slightest; how could anyone stay mad at such courageous and determined individuals? I certainly can't. That's why, no matter how many times they, no matter how many times they screw up, they'll still be here, fighting for me. They sure blow any guard the princess has out of the water, that's for certain.

Ah, yes...the aroma of breakfast, cooked everyday by our top Boo chefs. For ghosts, they sure know their way around a kitchen. Today's course, their 'Big Bad Beef Stew', was cooked to perfection...like always. The broth, the meat, everything was...just as it always is. It tasted delicious, don't get me wrong, but it was just so...boring. I've been through this same situation for what feels like a million times. The front of the hall, clean and spiffy. My special table, the same burnt mahogany. My chair, spiky and menacing. The banners, the exact shade of red they were yesterday. The exact same, the exact bloody same as it always is.

We're going to have a meeting, and it's going to play out the same as it always does. Plans are going to be discussed, Kamek is going to rally the generals, I'm going to be cheered on, preparing for another inevitable conflict.

And you know what's going to happen after that? I'm going to get trounced by those stupid brothers, again. I'm going to be blasted away, again. I'm going to be emotionally scarred, again. I'm going to be no closer to Peach than I was, again. Again, and again, and again!

My plans always end in failure! They never work out! Why? Why have I been cursed to do this same stupid shtick with that same stupid plumber?! What's the point of going on like this? There has to be something more to life than just fighting that guy over and over and over again! Why do I even bother at this point?! There is no point anymore!

I should just go and jump into a bottomless…

"Dad, what's the matter? You're gettin' pretty angry at your stew," a smaller voice came from the chair to the right of me. He must've been observing my internal shouting match; I had nearly forgotten I was still in this reality. My poor boy...forced to see his father reduced to an emotional wreck.

"It's...It's nothing, Junior," I lied.

"It's not nice of you to fib, Dad," he retorted.

I was taken aback a bit. He had become so perceiving, it was hard to get anything past him.

"Sigh...your old man has just had a lot going on in his head."

"Worried about how 'Cataclysm''s gonna turn out, eh?"

"Yeah, that's a pretty big one."

"Well…" He stood up on his seat at this, to get at my eye level. "Stop worrying. Goomp has told me all the phases, and I tell ya! This one...this one's gonna have those brothas on their toes!"

"But it's gonna fail…"

"No, it isn't! You have to have faith in yourself, Dad. Who was the king who survived a black hole?"

"I am..."

"Who's the guy who stole Peach's dainty castle not once, but twice?"

"I am."

"Who's the big bad who is known the world over, whose presence strikes fear into the hearts of every goody two-shoes nice guy?"
"I am!"

"And who, dare I ask, is going to trounce Mario once and for all?!"

"I AM!"

Yeah, that's right! What kind of king wallows in their own sadness, when there's a battle, no, a war to win? Not me, that's for damn sure! I'm no sob story; I'm the definition of evil! And no way will some plumber ever, EVER beat me!

"Minions!" I called, standing up from my seat, Junior shocked by my enthusiasm. Every subject turned my way, like usual.

"As you are all aware, the Cataclysm Project is nearly underway, and will require the utmost courage, fortitude, and determination!"

I pointed my finger at the audience.

"And I will expect your best on the field." This made the sweat roll down their faces.

"However! I know that you all have it in you to push through and rise above the odds! We are the Koopa Troop, the only army in this land. We will win this war!"

Pride seemed to flush their faces.

"Will it be difficult, nay, near impossible? Yes. Will there be casualties? Always."

"But! We will triumph in the end! Princess Peach's reign will end, for there is room for only one ruler in this land! Can you tell me who it is?"

They all rose, even Kamek, and shouted in unison.

"BOWSER!"

"Who will defeat the Toad Brigade?"

"THE KOOPA TROOP!"

"And who will finally fall?"

"MARIO AND LUIGI!"

"Then, we move out...TONIGHT!"

This really got them going; they started jumping up and down with anticipation.

"YEAH! LORD BOWSER, LORD BOWSER, LORD BOWSER!"

"Enough! Kamek, alert the Koopalings, and get the preparations underway!"

He was a bit shocked at my sudden authority.

"Y-yes, Your Boldness!" he said, quietly weeping from my masterful speech and zooming off on his broom, with the Elite Trio following close behind.

I leant in close to my son's head, whispering softly for him.

'Thanks for the support, Junior. I really needed that."

"Did'ja hear me shoutin' too?"

"Of course I did. Who do you take me for?"

I gave him a pat on the shell, and with that, he was off. Probably going to go get his souped-up Clown Car ready for tonight.

This...this is what it meant to be alive. To have the support of a nation behind you. To have a family like I do. To be ready for anything that'll come your way. Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling it now! Cause I'm not some chump. I'm not your average guy. I'm the King of Evil, I'm the Ruiner of Dreams. I'm your worst nightmare.

I. AM. BOWSER!