AN: Got the idea from Jimmy Eat World's 'My Sundown'...read this whill listening to it if you can...
My sundown
I see it around me
I see it in everything
I could be so much
More than this...
House sits alone in his office. Blinds drawn, lights off. No-one needs to know he's there. He picks up his ball and throws it against the wall, hard. It bounces back, and he throws it again. And again.
Wilson sits in his office. His light is off, but the doors and walls are solid, so no blinds. He's meant to be doing paperwork, but an hour has passed and he's still reading the same sentence. He reads it again. And again.
House wonders what if life had been different. What if he hadn't had the infarction? If Stacey hadn't left him. If he hadn't pushed her away. It is not the first time he's thought of this.
Wilson thinks that he could have done so much more. He's tired of being 'Dr James Wilson, highly respected oncologist'. Or Saint Jimmy, if you ask House. House. He takes risks. He doesn't care what people think. Why can't he not care?
House thinks of Wilson. Sure he's proof that marriage doesn't work, but sometimes, House muses, it would be nice to look at life through his rose-tinted glasses. He's sick of being cynical, jaded.
Wilson wants more than a lonely hotel room. He wants to live, to laugh. When was the last time you did that? He asks himself. He wants to shout, scream, tell someone to piss off instead of gritting his teeth and smiling politely. He wants to do what House does.
House wants more. More than going home to a TV and a bottle of scotch. He wants someone waiting at home for him. He hasn't had that luxury in over six years. He's almost forgotten what it feels like. But he can't ask for help. He can't shatter his reputation as 'House, misanthropic bastard who gives no crap for no-one'. Admitting he needs to talk...to be honest, he'd rather jump off the hospital roof.
...I wanna be so much
More than this...
Wilson gets up. This paperwork isn't getting done tonight. It's late, after midnight, and he's going home. If you can call it that.
House gets to his feet. No use sitting here moping. You can't always get what you want. He smiles faintly. Jagger has some good philosophies.
Wilson sees House leaving his office. "You still here?" He asks
"Nawwwwwwwww," House says sarcastically
Wilson sighs. He should have expected that "You want to get a drink or something?" If he's honest with himself, he doesn't, really. But House, he knows, does. Even if he won't admit it.
...I'll be fine...
"Don't fancy a pub crawl tonight." He knows Wilson doesn't feel like trawling sleazy bars until six AM. "How 'bout we go to my place? I've got scotch and TiVo,"
Wilson nods. "Ok," He says.
...I'm gonna be so much
More than this...
AN: Review, if you like...Hope ypu enjoyed this...
--CBT