REMEMBERING ALDERAAN
A Star Wars FanFic
By NiteJasmine
With the epic galactic battle against the Empire finally ended in victory, Leia gets some quiet time to think… But that may not be a good thing. However odds are she will find some comfort in the arms of a well-known smuggler…
Set a little while after ROTJ, told from Leia's POV. A short comforting & romantic Leia/Han story.
I don't own any characters from Star Wars or Disney.
(AN: Yes, it's really me, NiteJasmine, brushing the dust off my keyboard. Thank you for all your many notes, emails and support! And I have never forgotten about all my unfinished stories still hanging out there… as always, I welcome your reviews! Thank you for reading!)
Chapter 1 The Calm After The Storm
It's quiet. Truly and utterly quiet.
Everything is still, like a soft blanket has been draped over everything.
Calm.
Silent.
It is such a strange and foreign feeling to me. This still quietness. For so long, so very long, the war had raged on. It became my duty to be strong, to stay focused, to never waver. To keep pushing, keep forging ahead, no matter what.
There had always been such a continuous onslaught of chaos, upheaval, danger, conflict. Hair-raising narrow escapes. The countless battles, attack strategies, rescue missions. Many were successful, but at times just as many were not. So many critical, life-or-death decisions to be made in the blink of an eye. With monumental or catastrophic consequences and so many lives hanging in the balance. Political allies to appease. New treaties to negotiate. Assets and supplies so dearly needed to be bargained for. Such a deafening level of noise and exhausting stress, and so many things that kept interrupting me and demanding my full attention.
And I welcomed them all, in a way. The demands. The distractions. They were my insulation.
But now, all is quiet.
I sit here in the dim lights, still as a statue, lost in my own thoughts.
No distractions to shield me.
Han does not know I come here. Although I know he would not mind. He would probably think it quaint, or even comically ironic. I can almost see the lopsided grin that would appear on his face if he were to discover me here.
But it's here, in this place, in the softly glowing lights of the Millennium Falcon cockpit, that I find solace. It feels so familiar, so comfortable. There are so many good memories anchored here. R2, 3PO, Chewie, Luke, Han. This crazy bucket of bolts has saved all of our lives so many times.
And this is where I fell in love with Han.
Han. My lovable scoundrel. Who would have thought that I would have ever ended up so deeply in love with a Corellian smuggler? Never in a million lightyears. But who also could have ever known what a brave, wonderful, dependable, and hopelessly romantic man he really was... Well, I certainly do now.
A warm loving smile comes to my lips and I almost giggle as I remember him bursting into my holding cell, and into my life. With my brother Luke, the Jedi-to-be, and Chewie, that wonderful giant walking carpet of a Wookie. There to rescue me! With nothing more than a wild half-baked plan and a ramshackle cargo ship. I remember all too well that grungy slog through the nasty garbage hold, and blasting headlong through corridors lined with storm troopers, dodging laser bolts, and the dashing escape aboard this very ship.
It was not long after the Death Star had been activated…
My thoughts suddenly grind to a halt, and my smile fades as that particular memory comes crashing back yet again. And the feelings that are attached to those memories are very powerful.
Even more so today… especially today in particular…
The Death Star. That horrid abomination. Built by the dark forces and their insatiable lust for power. A twisted and evil mega-weapon striking terror and fear into the hearts and souls of every being in the galaxy, and shaking the cosmic order to its very core.
And I've seen it in action. I was there for its first monstrous kill.
I have pushed that painful memory away so many times, but it now comes flooding back with a vengeance. I remember everything crystal clear, like it was yesterday.
I watched my entire planet get destroyed.
Vaporized. Obliterated. Right before my eyes.
One moment Alderaan was there, gracefully spinning in her orbit, her billions of people down on the surface going about their daily lives. Unaware of the magnitude of the dark black menace looming overhead.
And then, in an instant, it was… gone.
Everything and everyone I had ever known… all gone. My family, my friends, my childhood, my entire life, suddenly ripped away. Nothing left but millions of bits of asteroid dust.
I know the dark forces of the Empire took pleasure in my horror at that moment. I know they felt it. I struggled with every ounce of strength I had to try and maintain my composure in front of my enemies. But I was absolutely devastated. And that was something I could not fully hide. Something that horrific…
Had I only known… How could I have been so naïve? Had I even had an inkling of the consequences, I would never have been so glib with my captors. Defiant, yes. But not so flippant. I should have known better. I should never have so gravely underestimated my enemy's capacity for such evil devastation.
They were more than pleased to inform me that their decision to destroy Alderaan was based solely on my behavior.
An entire planet.
My planet.
All those people.
GONE.
And it was all my fault.
Mine alone.
I shut my eyes and grit my teeth, but I cannot stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks. I hate to cry. It always make me feel so helpless and weak. But sometimes I simply cannot help it.
I remember it all so painfully clearly.
Waves of crushing sadness overwhelm me. I put my head in my hands and the choking sobs shake my shoulders. The tears flow freely and it's hard to get enough air into my lungs.
The memories of that awful event grip me and shake me like a child's rag doll, and I am powerless to stop it.