Hello Everyone! This is just a little oneshot that I thought of. It takes place after Eclipse and Bella has been gone for about 4 months. It's just a little bit about what Jacob is thinking...

I love Jacob and I feel so bad for him after Eclipse. This fanfic is pretty sad, but I just wanted to show Jake's emotions and how everyone should feel sorry for him. All he did was fall in love. Can we really blame him for that?

Well...here's my oneshot, maybe it'll help you understand Jacob a little better.

Hope ya like it!!

Anguished Memories

Jacob's POV

I stared down into the clam blue-black waters below me, rolling smoothly against the stone-covered shore. It was strangely sunny today, her favorite kind of day, though I knew she couldn't truly enjoy it now. The scene was so peaceful, so amazingly beautiful, like the calm before the storm. My life was the storm. A story that would never have a happy ending.

I stood on the highest cliff overlooking First Beach, another place that reminded me so much of her. I knew it wasn't healthy, reliving the memories, holding onto the thoughts of the days spent together. Those days when things were easier and there were no bloodsuckers around.

They were what made all the difference, the vampires. If they had never returned, if they had never settled here to begin with, everything would be so different. Bella could have had a normal life; I could have had a normal life. I would have never turned into a werewolf, and Bella could have stayed human with me. She wouldn't have to be changed into one of them.

I had no way of knowing for sure if she'd already become one yet, I hadn't seen her in months. I assumed she had long before become a vampire. And I knew if that was true, I would probably never see her again.

Maybe that was for the better, trying to forget. Maybe I should stop torturing myself by holding on to the hope that she would return, that she would change her mind. If she did come back, I would still take her. I would love Bella no matter who, or what, she was.

A silent tear slid from my eye, and fell into the waves below. This cliff held so many memories. It was the place where Bella and I had seen the pack cliff-diving, when I was still clueless to the things they were and what I would soon become.

This was the cliff that Bella had leapt from, where she had cliff-dived. The cliff that made all the difference. If Bella had waited for me, or better yet, if she had never jumped at all, Alice wouldn't have seen Bella's seeming suicide attempt.

The Cullen's would have never returned and Bella and I would most likely be together, like we were meant to be. Bella would still be here. She would still be human.

But that was all 'what if' and I knew it was too late now. They were just memories and nothing that I wished had happened would change it now. My hell-filled life wouldn't change.

I turned back, away from those harmful thoughts that I just couldn't get out of my head. I stopped as I remembered the day Bella had told me goodbye, the day my heart had died. I would always remember the words she had said, the way she said she loved me.

The way she had cried because she'd had to choose. She thought I couldn't see those tears, but I always noticed everything about Bella. I knew her better than she knew herself.

If only it was enough.

She didn't chose me, and that would never change.

I turned back to the edge of the cliff, and though my whole body ached with remorse, my eyes were dry. I wouldn't cry another tear over Bella Swan.

Taking one last look at the unusually blue sky, I ran and leapt off the edge.

Wishing I could leave the pain behind, though I knew I never could.

No matter where I went, I would always remember her.

For the rest of my pathetic, stretched out life.

tear

That is so sad!! :(

I almost cried when I wrote it!!

Review and tell me what ya think!!