Heero goes to Heaven

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing isn't mine.

A. N. I intended this to be humorous but it came out weird and senseless. Beware: OOC and mild character bashing. I dont know what got into me when I made this.

For comments, suggestions, flames or reviews, you can email me at raizenheero@aol.com.



Heero goes to Heaven
by Neesah



A long beep was heard as the monitor showed a flat, green line.

"No! Heero!" Relena cried. Duo hugged her, his own tears falling on his face.

"Hurry! We're losing him," the doctor ordered as one of the nurses grabbed the shock panels, ready to shock the patient back to life.


*********************


Heero opened his eyes. Everywhere he looked, all he could see was white. Where am I? He checked his body for wounds. Am I alive? Well, he didn't feel like dead, nor alive for that matter. But he felt…different. It was like he was at peace. He smiled. This was the first time that he felt contented and at ease, with himself and with the world around him. Finally I'm free. No more fighting, no more killing, no more of that…

His thoughts were interrupted when he saw a desk with a sign 'INFORMATION' in front of it. A priest was busy working on his computer. The priest looked up when he saw Heero approached him. "Hello, I'm Father Maxwell. I welcome you to heaven."

"Father Maxwell? Heaven?"

The priest gave him a small smile. "Yes. If I may ask, what's your name, young lad?"

"Code name: Heero Yuy," he answered.

"So you're that Heero Yuy, Gundam pilot 01, master of the Wing Zero and the Zero system, Duo's bestfriend."

"I acknowledge the first two things you said but not the last. I'm not his bestfriend," Heero told him coldly.

The priest smiled again. "Ok, if you say so. How's Duo by the way?"

Heero smirked. "Still a baka."

"That's nice. Good for him." Heero sweatdropped. "Does he still have that yard long braid of his?"

"Hn."

The priest shook his head as memories of the past ran through his head. "Oh well, I shouldn't have expected anything different. Even as a child he loved his hair. And I couldn't believe that he proclaimed himself as the God of Death. That boy…" One look at Heero and he stopped reminiscing. If looks could kill (and if he's not yet dead) he would have dropped dead that instant with that patented Heero Yuy glare of death. "Umm, your tour guide will be here shortly," he said nervously. And I hope soon enough, he silently added. He caught movement at the corner of his eye and immediately stood up. "Here she is," he said as they watched a nun approached them.

"Sister Helen! This is Heero Yuy. He's new here. Please show him around."

Sister Helen smiled at Heero then quickly turned her attention back to the priest. "That's what I want to talk about, Father Maxwell." She whispered something in his ear.

The priest listened, occasionally nodding his head. "Is that so? Ok," he told her. The nun glanced at Heero and said, "Nice to meet you, Heero," then left.

Heero narrowed his eyes. What's happening? Am I being rejected in heaven? Did they remember that I killed too many people? he wondered. Hn. That's the only logical explanation. Coz they wouldn't find any files regarding my killings in their database. I've hacked it and erased my bad records, he grinned to himself.

The priest cleared his throat. "Umm, there's a slight change of plans, Heero. I received some orders from the higher-ups telling me to send you back down to Earth."

"Why? Was it a mistake? Were they planning to kill the pilot of the Mobile Suit next to me and accidentally hit me instead?"

"No. You're supposed to be dead. It's your time. But someone intervened--- a very influential someone. Do you know King Peacecraft of the Sanc Kingdom? Well, his only daughter apparently prayed to him, asking him to spare your life. Being a strong advocate of Pacifism, God cannot decline his request. Aside from the fact that his daughter is also a leading figure in Pacifism on Earth today and that they owe so much to that girl for taking her whole family away from her."

"Relena," Heero muttered under his breath. "You mean to tell me that I have to go back to that 'I'm-once-queen-of-the-world-so-you-must-listen-to-my-speeches-about-peace-even-if-they're-crap' girl and that loudmouthed, braided bakayaro?" he asked, glaring daggers at the priest. "Never! I've escaped them. I'll stay here! If you force me to go back, I swear I'll kill you all! I'll level this place down! Tell that to your big boss! OMAE O KOROSU!"

Heero wrapped his arms around one of the pillars as the Security Angels came and tried to take him away. He tried a different approach. "No! Please! If you want, just throw me in hell! It'll be better than going back and spending the rest of my life with those two! Please, have mercy! I'm just a child. Why do such a horrible thing to me?" Heero asked, looking at them with puppy-dog eyes.

"Why don't you want to go back? I thought you'll be happy that you've been given a second chance in life. Relena and Duo can help you start over."

"No! I don't want to start over! And definitely not with them! Is this my punishment for killing and for hacking your database? I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I wouldn't do it again! Promise! Just let me stay! I want to stay here! Please, let me stay!" he screamed as he never screamed before. He hadn't been this fearful for himself his entire life. The Security Angels managed to peel him from the pillar and were now dragging him away.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


*******************


The green line fluctuated once, then twice. Until finally, the fluctuations steadied, mirroring the steady beating of his heart.

The doctor sighed in relief. "He's stable," he told Duo and Relena.

Heero opened his eyes. He saw Relena rushed to him. "Heero! I knew it! I prayed to father that he wouldn't take you away from me. And he didn't," Relena said happily.

"Heero, buddy, you really are something aren't you? You cheated death many times. Maybe because Shinigami is your bestfriend," Duo told him.

Heero looked at them wide-eyed. NO! his mind screamed. Like a flash, he stood up, pulled all the electrodes and needles connected to him and jumped from the hospital window.

"HHHEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hmmph. That wouldn't work this time, he thought as he free fall-ed down.


*******************


"What did I tell you, Heero? You wouldn't die that easily," Relena told a sullen Heero as she feed him. "God wouldn't take away the last thing that I hold dear. He owed me too much."

"Damn family connections. Even in heaven there are politics and red-tape," Heero muttered under his breath before accepting the food Relena had been feeding him. Maybe if I kill her, they'll finally let me die. He looked around the room and saw his gun. He then looked at himself. His whole body was in cast, thanks to him jumping from the 10th floor.

Duo looked at him straight in the eye, chuckling. "You got that right, buddy. You're not going anywhere for some time. And I'm keeping all kinds of ammunition and weapons away from you." Heero glared at him. Duo shook his head. "Accept your destiny, man. You and Relena are meant to get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Just then can you die and go to heaven. Or to hell, whatever the case may be."

Heero grunted then opened his mouth again as Relena fed him. He studied her. He couldn't deny that she was pretty. And she really cared for him. He gave her a small smile. Relena smiled back and continued feeding him. She didn't see Heero smirked. I'll just wait til I can move then I'll try again.


*******************


Wufei paced back and forth outside Heero's hospital room. "The nerve of that onna! Using her family connections to force Heero to be with her forever. Injustice!"

"It's not really a bad thing," Quatre said. "Heero is just being stubborn. We all know that he likes Relena. He'll eventually come to his senses. This way we are assured that he doesn't succeed in killing himself, you know how suicidal he is."

Trowa looked at him. "You should get worried, Quatre. If Relena's family is influential in heaven, just think how influential Dorothy's family is in hell."

Wufei smirked. "Yeah. Beware of that evil onna. She might have 'prayed' to Treize and Duke Dermail asking them to let you be with her forever, here on Earth and in hell. Just like what Relena did."

Quatre's blood ran cold. "No. She wouldn't dare. Besides, my father is a pacifist too, he might plead for me in front of God."

"Do you think that he'll plead for his son who piloted a deadly machine against his wishes and killed a lot of people?" Trowa asked.

Quatre paled. They then saw a blond girl walking towards them.

"Hey, Quatre! Guess what? I had a dream last night. I saw my grandfather and Uncle Treize assuring me that we'll be together forever. Even in death we wouldn't part. Isn't that great?" Dorothy said as she glomped on Quatre.

Quatre's eyes bulged out of its sockets. "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


Dont get me wrong. Im a Relena x Heero fan. And I like Relena. Why did I write this then? I dont know. It seemed like a good idea by that time. Is it more disturbing than funny? Hope I didn't offend anyone. What do you think?