Wolf: YOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO (btw you can skip 'til it's not bold anymore ^^)
Bilbo: Who are you then?
Thorin: Quite, who are you?
Wolf: A new enemy on your quest of suffering in the fan fiction realm! *maniacal laughter*
Gandalf: You aren't to be trusted are you?
Wolf: Probably not, I'm sure you'll learn to love me though! ;P
Dwalin: Pfffffffft! Hardly! You're already-
Wolf: *holds up twice baked potatoes with bacon bits*
Everyone: *heavy breathing*
Wolf: Alrighty then! I'm new to posting stories for the Hobbit fandom but... fuckssake I have an adorable idea and no one, NO ONE will stop me! Mwahahahahahahahaha! *coughs uncontrollably* I don't own The Hobbit *sniffles* sadly, however that doesn't mean I can't have a bit of fun with its characters. ;)
Gandalf: And where does our journey begin if I may inquire, my lady?
Wolf: *flustered from 'my lady'*Ah, well it starts off from after the troll incident, and now... ONWARD! ^^ (P.S. It's slow and kinda boring at first but it'll get adorable soon enough!)
Bilbo had probably just sighed for the third time since it happened. He'd been waiting outside the cave entrance with Fili and Kili and couldn't help recall the narrowed eyes he received from a certain leader of the company after the trolls were indisposed.
"Come on Master Baggins cheer up! You did just face down three trolls and live to talk about it!" Fili stated, albeit rather loudly as he slung an arm across the hobbit's shoulders. He was about to retort when another arm was slung across his shoulders on his other side and looked to see Kili nodding in agreement with his brother.
"Really Master Boggins, those trolls woulda cooked up half the company if ya hadn't distracted 'em!" Kili gave a pat to his shoulder while looking their Burglar right in the eyes.
Bilbo caught another sigh in his throat as he decided to smile widely at the brothers. "Really boys, it's not that I'm upset with how things went about, I'm simply tired from the whole ordeal, what with missing dinner and not getting any sleep last night..." He looked up at Fili to see him looking rather guilty and waved his arms about wildly, "not that it's a real hindrance I'll be just find don't you worry boys! Still plenty of energy to keep me up and about for the day."
Well, he wasn't lying per se, he felt he could continue on easily enough, he just didn't need to win another scowl from a certain dwarf. Speaking of, he had a feeling he and Gandalf just entered into another minor altercation when he heard "You could not wish for a finer-!" something or other from within. He chanced a look to the cave entrance for not but a few moments.
Fili and Kili shared a look behind Bilbo and communicated via brotherly intuition... (Don't know how else to put it really...)
Kili squinted.
Fili half shrugged.
Kili raised a brow.
Fili nodded.
Kili looked to Bilbo and blinked at Fili.
Fili blinked back and shook his head at Kili and stepped up beside the hobbit and looked down to him and said "Master Baggins." This caught his attention as he looked up to the eldest of Thorin's nephews. "Regardless of some members of the Company's opinion, me and Kili believe the way you handled the trolls was fantastic. Maybe we're biased for sending you in there in the first place, however we know you did incredibly considering the circumstances and I apologize for risking you in such a way." With that he bowed slightly which caused Bilbo to blink a few times.
"Really Master Fili, no need to apologize, I was foolish enough to listen to you two great oafs!" He chuckled lightly along with the brothers. "And thank you boys... for making me feel better about that."
Kili shook his head vigorously. "Now none of that Master Boggins! You're part of the Company, and we'll keep an eye on ya from now on. The others'll come around and see just how smart ya were with those lumbering beasts!"
Fili snorted, "Not sure I can say the same for you dear brother, with how you went on not getting so much as a hint to Master Baggins' plan to keep us from bein' eaten."
Kili leveled a glare, "Excuse me for feeling more insulted from being told I was 'infested with parasites' when I am, in fact, NOT! I keep myself clean as possible at all times!" He crossed his arms over his chest with a final harrumph. Bilbo trying to hide his laughs behind his hand.
Fili rolled his eyes and muttered, "Coulda fooled me-" and was about to be tackled by his brother when the rest of the Company emerged from the cave. Gandalf led Bilbo a little furthers away and handed him an elvish blade.
He shakes his head and makes to hand the blade back to Gandalf, "I can't take this."
"That sword is of elvish make and will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby. Take it." Pushing it back to the hobbit who looks flustered.
"I have never used a sword in my life, Gandalf." Looking up to the Grey Pilgrim with light eyes.
"And I hope you never have to. But if you do, remember this: true courage is knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one." He finished with patting the hobbit on the shoulder and turning to leave. Bilbo looked to the blade now resting in his hands and was startled out of awe by a crashing noise from within the forest. Bilbo went to the noise and soon discovered a short man in a brown cloak with... is that bird droppings in his hair? He and Gandalf were conversing silently with the dwarves surrounding them.
"Who is he?" Bilbo had asked once he was behind Bofur. Bofur looked at him and shook his head, a light smile on his face.
"That there is Radagast," He looked back and saw the confused look on his face, " I know, I was expecting someone a little more... erm-"
"put together?" Bilbo had piped up. Bofur nodded and 'aye'd. "I thought the wizards were to be more... well yes, put together."
Bofur shrugged, "Well with what Gandalf said, he does prefer the company o' animals to others so I doubt he'll care on others' opinions. By the way Mister Bilbo, thanks for doing what ya did with those trolls back there."
Bilbo looked back to Bofur looking rather red. "Really I didn't do all that much Master Bofur, just trying to stall-"
"And stall ya did! Without that head o' yours," the dwarf took the point to poke the hobbit in the forehead, "we'd be cooked on a spit and Bombur'd be in a trolls belly!"
Bilbo swatted his hand and huffed, "Alright, alright! I stalled and we're all in one piece," he sighed, "you, and Masters Fili and Kili are making me feel like some hero at this point, it's odd."
Bofur ruffled his hair, "Nothin' odd 'bout it Master Baggins, really, think 'igher o' yourself, the others'll come 'round soon enough!" Bilbo looked at him past his mussed hair in his eyes and held back another sigh.
"Master Bofur, please just call me Bilbo, it's easier after all and titles are exhausting," And he watched Bofur bark a laugh.
"Only if ya do the same for me Mast- erm Bilbo, don't glare! It'll take some gettin' used to!" He scolded to the hobbit who was, in fact, glaring at him.
"Alright then, I'll see to it Ma- Bofur-" And would have scowled at Bofur's laugh had a howl not sounded in the air. "Was that a wolf?" He looked around and back to Bofur who shook his head.
"No thatis not a wolf-" Just then a warg flew from a place on the hill behind them and dashed forward only to get stuck in the neck by an arrow Kili had fired. It squirmed on the ground until Dwalin bashed an axe in it's skull. Bilbo was too stunned, looking at the warg before him to notice the one that leapt from the brush. "Bilbo!"
He turned to see it and was pulled, back to Bofur's chest, as it jumped for him. He saw its paw slash across his chest before it landed not far from him. His chest burned as the warg made to pounce again before Fili stabbed it in the eye with a dagger as Kili shot it in the head so it fell limp and lifeless to the ground.
Bilbo was dazed and tuned out most of the argument only catching bits and pieces once in a while,
"-you tell-"
"-being hunted-"
"-get out of here-"
"-they bolted-"
"-outrun you!"
Bilbo's chest burned and ached from the claw marks, he found himself clutching his torso and looking down to the gash. He raised his head again and caught Fili Kili and Bofur were the only ones to be watching him with concerned eyes. He mouthed 'just a scratch' to the three and wasn't surprised when they frowned at him.
"These are Rhosgobell rabbits," Radagast puffed his chest to Gandalf's brow being raised, "I'd like to see them try."
The Company of Thorin Oakenshield found themselves running along the plains and out of the forest where Radagast was to lead the warg pack away.
Fili and Kili had made it quite clear they wouldn't be leaving Bilbo out of arms reach. But for Yavanna's sake! They didn't have to stuff him between themselves! And with Bofur in front making sure not to get themselves caught into trouble he felt like a fauntling!
Radagast just passed by on his rabbit driven sleigh and the sounds of the wargs caused the dwarves, hobbit and wizard to crouch behind a rock pile as they passed. A warg and its rider sat atop the rocks as the rider unsheathed it's blade, jagged and looked to be quite unfriendly.
Thorin looked to Kili and nodded to him. Kili squeezed Bilbo's shoulder and smiled to the hobbit before placing an arrow on his bow, taking a breath, and stepping out to get a better shot at their problem. The arrow was released and embedded into the warg's side as it toppled, but not without releasing howls of rage and agony. The rider fell from its mount and was just rising when it was slashed by a number of members of the company and the warg stabbed through by a rather angry looking Bifur.
They knew they were now the center of attention to the orcs and made haste through the plains, knowing full well they were being gained on with every step. They reached another grouping of rocks and discovered Gandalf missing. By now Bilbo was just too tired to care if the dwarves he surrounded himself with thought Gandalf would simply abandon them.
"This way you fools!" His grey hat was sighted behind a rock and one by one the Company ran to the entrance. Bilbo slid down and was picked up by Bofur and Fili. Fili put a hand on his chest to steady him and drew back from the slight hiss the hobbit made.
"I'm fine Master Fili," He frowned when Fili scowled up at him. Kili came tumbling down and landed into Fili knocking them over and into a sprawl of limbs on the ground.
"Dammit Kili!" Fili shouted, his head under Kili's arm, "Does your grace as a prince of Durin not exist at all you oaf!" Kili kicked his brother in the side and made to get up by placing a fist in his brothers cheek.
"I have plenty of grace YOU just need to look out for someone that's tumbling down a rock formation!" They both stood now as Thorin ran down the hill. There was a loud clashing noise from above as an orc tumbled down as well but with an arrow lodged in it's head. Thorin made his way to the orc and dislodged the arrow and grunted.
"Elves."
They made their way through the pathway Dwalin discovered and arrived to the most beautiful sight Bilbo had seen in weeks.
"Rivendell..." He breathed airily and found the princes on either side of him looking over him. "Honestly boys, if you do not stop looking at me like that, I'm telling Thorin you wish to spend more time with him." The brothers glared but remained silent.
Thorin and Gandalf were arguing AGAIN and soon Gandalf won out, but by the darkened expression, Thorin was far from pleased. They trudged on, and the brothers each had a hand on Bilbo's shoulders.
The Company gathered in an empty space before a set of stairs.
"Mithrandir," A voice called and all looked up to see an elf walking gracefully down the steps. Bilbo couldn't help the small gasp that escaped him. The company around him, Gloin, Oin, Ori, and Nori looked to him confused. The princes holding his arms looked to him to see if it was a gasp of pain from his wound and Thorin glowered at him.
He glowered right back because honestly he was too tired, hungry, and sore to be putting up with the irritating dwarvish king and his hatred of all things involving the race of elves! Since Bilbo was a young boy he'd always wanted to meet one in person and he was doing so now! Honestly the gall of some races of Middle Earth!
Before he could continue fuming a horn sounded from behind and the dwarves created a defensive circle and the hobbit was unceremoniously shoved into the middle of it. The elves on horseback circled them and Bilbo couldn't help but be annoyed by it, 'it's giving these idiots a reason to not be trusting!'
"Gandalf" An elf called. He removed himself from his mount and went to hug said wizard. They had their own private conversation for some time before Thorin stepped forward and spoke along with them.
Bilbo heaved another sigh and was immediately faced with Bofur. "Ya alright there Bilbo?" he asked placing a hand on each shoulder.
He heaved another sigh, 'is it normal for dwarves to act this way?' he couldn't help wonder and looked Bofur straight in the eyes. "I'm tired Bofur. I'm hungry. I'm frustrated at three dwarves for being so worrisome..." He smiled to Bofur, "but I'm fine, those three dwarves shouldn't doubt me and my judgment. But finally I'm dirty and probably smell positively horrid." At this Bofur snorted and removed his hands.
"I'll agree with ya there Bilbo, I do believe we all do at this point." He looked back as the Company began moving out. "Well, better follow along... and ask Fili and Kili if there's important parts o' the conversation we missed."They both followed and caught up to Fili and Kili who were whispering to each other. "Alright boys." They snapped their heads up and looked to Bofur. "What exactly did me and our Burglar miss?"
They looked to each other and Kili spoke up, "Well Thorin's not happy with our host... along with most of the Company... as you can tell, but we'll be eatin' with the elves in a few hours and we're bein' showed to 'our rooms' but I don't think we'll be stayin' in 'em."
Bilbo couldn't help but growl and raise a brow. "And just why is that?" Kili couldn't help but step over a few inches as Bilbo was actually quite upset by the notion he wouldn't be on a real bed when it was so willingly offered.
"Well, uh, the Company just wants 'ta stay together and the rooms would be separate and all so we'll just... be..." He stopped speaking altogether at the pulsing aura of hate and malice that seeped from their hobbit, he could probably even make Dwalin flinch with that glare and the fact he was grinding his teeth together didn't help settle Kili's nerves. He clutched onto Fili's sleeve and glanced to his brother who looked equally concerned about his well being.
Bofur noticed too and stepped in, "If ya want 'ta Bilbo," He put a hand on the Burglar's shoulder and squeezed, "You could still stay in your room and then you'll have a nice bed and not be troubled with... howdja put it? Insufferability o' dwarves?" The hobbit looked back at him and twitched his lips, his eyes turning lighter.
"Yes I do believe that was it."
"I don't think Uncle Thorin'll go for it Master Boggins..." Kili muttered, and immediately regretted it as an icy glare was sent to him from darkening brown eyes. "Well, erm, it's just Uncle wants everyone in close quarters, keep a better eye on every one, you understand..." And was greeted by narrowing eyes that urged him to continue if he had a death wish. "...Right?" He couldn't help but add, using his famous wounded puppy eyes on the hobbit.
Fili interjected this time. "We'll all just stay with you then Master Baggins, then Thorin can't complain about you bein' by your lonesome, and you can rest right and proper in a nice warm bed." He turned his eyes to his brother, "isn't that right Kili?" Who nodded intensely.
Bilbo seemed to calm, "Even if Master Oakenshield denies the use of the bed chambers, I'm still going whether he likes it or not, whether he trusts the elves or not, and whether he doubts the safety of the rooms or not! I can finally sleep in a real bed and he will not be denying me such a wondrous thing!" He threw his arms in the air and the three around him nodded quickly, as to not provoke the hobbit further.
They reached the rooms and the elf, Lindir, they believed was his name, gestured to the hall and stated these were their rooms and how to find the dining hall. Thorin nodded to the elf who bowed and took his leave. Thorin turned to address the Company and did indeed say they wouldn't be staying in the rooms.
Before Bilbo could even think to go up and stab the irritating dwarf, Fili and Bofur grounded him and Bofur spoke, "Now Bilbo, I do believe ya spoke earlier of a much needed bath and Fili here just told me the baths were down a few doors on the left, why don't ya go for a soak and we'll talk 'bout the rooms with Thorin, hm?" The hobbit's eyes gleamed at the word bath and nodded to the two beside him, and took off.
Fili sighed, "Now then, Kili, you'll be talking to Thorin since you can just use your eye trick on him," Kili nodded. "And Bofur and me will talk to Gandalf about seein' to Master Baggins' wound, I bet that's why he's so grouchy and ready to slit something's throat..." All three nodded.
Bofur became a little confused however and asked, "Why not ask Oin to see to him? He's the deemed healer o' the Company after all..." The brothers shared a look and each shook their head.
"I don't think Master Boggins wants the others to know it's upsettin' 'im, and with Oin, he'll run 'is mouth and the Company'll doubt him or somethin'" Kili spoke like he absolutely knew their Burglar's viewpoint.
They nodded as one again and dispersed to complete their assigned tasks.
Bilbo had just taken off his tattered shirt and placed it on the tiled floor of the bathroom. The water was warmed and he looked down and frowned. The four slashes across him went from mid left breast to just below the middle of his ribs. They bled but it wasn't gushing, no more than a scratch, he'd thought and he was right.
Those three worried themselves over something so little...He grumbled to himself on the worrisome three and was about to remove his trousers when the door suddenly opened and he squeaked and turned his head to glare daggers at who ever thought not to knock! The audacity!
Thorin appeared and he didn't seem at all troubled by the fact that he enter an occupied bathroom and was now looking to the hobbit, his lips in a thin line as he addressed him.
"Master Baggins," he began at seeing the hobbit look incredibly upset at him for some reason, and he couldn't help but wonder why. "It has come to my attention you wished to remain in the... elves " He all but spat the word, "rooms and while I disagree with it... my nephew has informed me he, Fili and Bofur will be staying to keep an eye on you..." He trailed off as the hobbit's eyes brighten at 'will be', "so you may stay in the room as long as there is always someone with you..." he drifted off again as the hobbit clasped his hands together and turned to face him positively ecstatic. His eyes were drawn to red adorning the hobbit's chest and looked down to spot the gash of red flesh marring his chest and growled, "And when did you become injured?"
Bilbo frowned, realizing he'd turned in his excitement and wanted to bash his head against a wall. He just had to turn didn't he? "It was when the wargs first arrived, I was, more focused on the first warg and hadn't noticed the second so it struck- oh confound it!" He threw his hands to his hair and dug his nails in his scalp, "It is a scratch! I am not in a pool of my own blood, dying on the very ground beneath me!" He sighed for probably the tenth time that day, dropping his arms to his sides and looked to the ground, "It's just a scratch," he muttered.
"Just a scratch," Thorin repeated, narrowing his eyes at the red adorning the Burglar.
Bilbo sighed and looked to the dwarf who was still watching his injury as if willing it to try something, "Yes, just a scratch, I'm just cleaning it, it will heal soon enough, there's no need to fuss over it." He placed a hand on his hip, daring Thorin to argue.
He looked up to the hobbit's eyes and closed his eyes nodding, "Very well, I'll trust your judgment on this, continue on to your bath, I'll take my leave." With that he turned and heard a sigh of content. Just as he was about to close the door he looked back and spoke, "Master Burglar," which earned him a groan from the Halfling who was facing away from him now, and he willed his lips not to twitch to a smirk. "I'll be speaking with you after dinner about your lack of proper communication, especially when it comes to wandering away from the Company." And before he could see Bilbo's ultimate death glare of doom he shut the door.
What a shame that chat wouldn't take place...
With a disheartened sigh, Bilbo lifted himself from the cooling water and rose to find a cloth to dry himself. He took his time, ringing out his curly hair and rubbing his arms and legs, padding around the now scabbed flesh of his chest. He finally went to his bag to dawn a set of clothes, that hadn't been mauled by a warg, to wear.
He dressed himself and gathered his dirty attire in a bundle to carry, he'd clean them later, right now he just wanted food in his belly. It had been bad enough attempting to adjust to the dwarvish eating habit of only three meals a day, but what was unforgivable was that he'd gone near a day without a proper meal! Just then his stomach interrupted him and he threw the door open and checked the rooms for any signs dwarves had been there.
He finally found the lot of dwarves and three packs placed on the bed and placed his own clothes on the bed, unshouldered his pack, and placed his new and only weapon on the nightstand. He made his way to cross the room to Kili when it was thrown open.
It seems Bilbo had been cornered before dinner by a frowning wizard, Kili the prince,... and a wild Bofur and Fili appeared from behind Gandalf. He'd been startled by all accounts and was about to speak until Gandalf spoke. "And why did you feel such need to keep privy information such as your health from me?"
Bilbo scowled and looked to Fili and Bofur who suddenly found the ground to be quite captivating. The rest of the company aside from Thorin, seemed confused at the word health and seemed to wonder if the hobbit became sick. (Mind you no one was really paying attention when he was hit)
"Well Gandalf, seeing as how it is only scratch, I didn't wish to bother anyone with a non-fatal wound, it will heal all the same and does not need to be fussed with." He gave a large huff and crossed his arms over his chest and took a seat on the bed.
Gandalf narrowed his eyes and did not back down, "Shirt off now Master Baggins, I will not be argued with when it comes to matters of well being." He stepped forward and the room felt chillier.
"I will not! No one needs to be bothered with this and I will not have you use up precious energy to close up wounds that will be all but closed in a weeks time!" He rose from the bed and leveled another glare at the wizard and was met with one equally. Static could be felt in the air.
The wizard was not having it, "Bilbo Baggins, sit down now and remove your shirt so I may see this mere scratch and assess the damage for myself, even a scratch may become infected, and that is, in fact, quite hazardous to one's health." The hobbit remained standing and his own darkening aura made The princes and Bofur stand back.
"I will not! I can assess what damage befalls me on my own and need no second opinions! If I believe my wounds to be perfectly capable of healing on their own then they shall!" He finally shouted at the wizard and something in the air snapped.
Gandalf's grip on his staff tightened as he snapped at the hobbit before him,"Bilbo Baggins stop behaving like a child!" and with that he crashed his staff on the ground which had smoke leaping around a certain area of the room where the hobbit stood.
For a good while the room was silent as the smoke began to disperse.
Not everyone could see what the princes, Bofur and Gandalf could see. Bofur simply stared on looking positively mortified.
"Oh no," Kili muttered.
"Unbelievable," Fili quietly agreed. Throwing a hand to his forehead.
Thorin questioned from the other side of the room, "What? What have you done wizard?"
Gandalf simply stared on and let out an, "Oh dear."
The others looked on as the smoke cleared entirely... to now see the wee hobbit child.
Wolf: Welp, there you go! ;D
Bilbo: Are you JOKING?
Wolf: Nope. I do hope you enjoyed the beginning, as from now on absolute adorableness shall ensue! I wanted to write a story with an itty bitty Bilbo in stead of grown up Bilbo soooooooooo hopefully I'll get some nice feedback ^^ I'll try to update whenever I'm most able or at the beginning of weekends at least, truth be told... I don't know where I'll end this story XD. Welp! Peace my loves!