THE EIGHTH CASTAWAY
Author's note: I do not own the "Gilligan's Island" castaways. I am doing this for my own amusement. The only character I own (sort of) is Owen Lansing.
A new castaway joins the group, resulting in excitement, disappointment, and true love when and where least expected. SLASH.
Also, since Gilligan's first name is never mentioned on the show, I decided that his first name is Martin.
One day on the island, Gilligan was going to the lagoon to fish, when he tripped over something. He looked down and discovered that the "something" he tripped over was a human body. A tall, muscular human body, face down, seemingly lifeless.
Gilligan's blood froze in his veins as he went to find his fellow castaways, running down the island like greased lightning.
"Skipper! Professor! Ginger! Mary Ann! Mr. and Mrs. Howell!" he yelled hysterically. "A body! There's a body! Over by the lagoon! A body!"
In the distance, Gilligan spied the Professor and the Skipper picking coconuts and came barreling toward them, crashing into the bulky mass of the Skipper, causing the portly captain to drop a coconut on his foot.
"Thanks a lot, Gilligan!" the Skipper growled. "Why don't you look where you're going?"
"There's a body over by the lagoon!" Gilligan sputtered. "A body!"
"I don't have time for nonsense, Gilligan!" the Skipper snapped. "Now why aren't you out there catching fish for lunch like I asked you?"
"Because there's a body by the lagoon."
"Oh, you probably just imagined it." the Skipper said.
"You have to believe me." Gilligan insisted. "I'm not crazy."
"Of course you're not crazy." the Professor said. "But what the Skipper is trying to say is, what with the extreme heat of a tropical climate coupled with the strain of being cast away on a deserted island, you may be having hallucinations."
"Oh, that's a relief." Gilligan said. "For a minute, I thought the skipper was telling me I was seeing things."
"Gilligan, that's what having hallucinations means." said the Professor
"Then I guess that's not such a relief."
Just then, Mary Ann came running toward the three male castaways at the coconut grove.
"You fellows will never believe this!" she exclaimed. "I went to take the dirty clothes to the lagoon to wash them and I saw a body. A man, lying face down."
"So, I guess Mary Ann is seeing things too." Gilligan said sarcastically.
With an exasperated sigh, the skipper followed Gilligan and Mary Ann to the lagoon, the Professor trailing behind.
"See?" Gilligan said, pointing to the prostrate figure.
"Suffering sea horses!" The Skipper exclaimed. "It really is a body."
At that moment, the figure twitched.
"He's alive!" yelled Gilligan, hope of being rescued rising within his heart.
"Of course I'm alive." said the man, grouchily and groggily, as he slowly rose to a sitting position. "Alive and well and marooned on some Godforsaken island in the back of Northwest Nowhere. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Owen Lansing."
The castaways got a good look at the handsome, muscular blond fellow. Somehow, he looked familiar, but no one could quite pinpoint where they had seen him, until a thought occurred to Gilligan. The neatly parted hair and civilian attire threw him, but all of a sudden, Gilligan knew who this man was. His face darkened.
"You're not any Owen Lansing." Gilligan spat. "You're Tongo! You're Tongo the Jungle Lord!"
"I'm not Tongo." the guy said sarcastically. "I'm Owen."
"I've heard of the Tongo the Ape Man movies, but I never heard of any movies about an ape man named Owen." sneered Gilligan. This remark netted him laughter from Mary Ann and an elbow in the ribs from the Skipper.
"I'm the actor who played Tongo the Jungle Lord." explained the handsome man, his tone somewhat cool. "Tongo was a character I played. I'm the actor Owen Lansing."
"Well, that was some spot you put us all in, Tongo or Owen or Owen-Tongo or Tong-Owen or whatever you call yourself." Gilligan snarled.
"About that - Owen said sheepishly.
"It's a shame your heart isn't as beautiful as your face is handsome, Mr. Owen Tongo The Jungle Lord Lansing." Mary Ann sniffed.
Owen bristled.
"Just what do you mean by that remark, Missy?" he snapped. "I'm just as nice as the next fellow."
"Yeah." retorted Mary Ann. "You're such a nice guy that you take off in a helicopter and leave us stranded here on this island when you could have rescued us."
"Someone who would do that isn't a nice guy, Mary Ann." Gilligan put in.
The Skipper whipped off his captain's hat and whacked his first mate over the head with it.
"She's being sarcastic, Gilligan."
"Is that what she's doing?" Gilligan asked. "I thought she was saying something and meaning the opposite of what she said."
Owen stared at the ground.
"Listen, you guys." he said. "That was a stupid thing to do. I admit it. I don't know what I was thinking."
"You were thinking that you would leave us behind because you were afraid we'd blab about you being spooked by that gorilla and mess up your chances of being a big star!" Gilligan shot back. "That's what you were thinking."
"We all said we wouldn't blab and you didn't listen." the Skipper said.
"Listen, you guys." Owen said insistently. "There is such a thing as being sorry."
"Yeah?" Gilligan retorted. "Well, there's also such a thing as 'too late'!"
Ginger and the Howells heard the commotion and they all wandered over to the lagoon to investigate.
"Look who was washed up on the shore of the lagoon." the Skipper stated.
"My word!" exclaimed Mr. Howell. "I recognize this fellow. That's that uncivilized Tarzan-type who terrorized all of us and broke my golf club!"
"And said he'd rescue us, but backed out at the last minute and left us stranded here on this island." added Mrs. Howell. "What appalling deportment."
"Not only that." said Gilligan. "It's bad manners, to boot."
"I'll say the fellow's deportment was appalling." Mr. Howell stated. "That was my favorite golf club he bit in half."