A/N: I know you guys are waiting for the next chapter of Healing Takes Time, but this sort of popped into my head a couple days ago and I had to write it. Hope you enjoy!
Whenever he imagined the reunion with his friends who had stayed back at camp Jaha, he'd always thought his sister would be the first to come to him, to tell him she was so glad he was alive. But when it finally happened – when the grounders and the people from the ark finally infiltrated that damn mountain –the first person to go to him was Clarke.
She ran at him, enveloping him in a crushing embrace, all the while repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," while his sister stood to one side, her face chiseled into a stony look she now wore so well.
He didn't know what to do, with the girl who sent him to his death clinging to his neck as if he was the last person on earth.
It wasn't for another few minutes that he realized she was crying, still murmuring about how sorry she was.
He recovered from the shock of everything, finally giving in to his need to pull her in closer, forgetting that she was the reason his whole body was in pain. He put his arms around her, but the minute his skin touched hers, she pushed him away. He tried to catch her eye, find out what was wrong, but she could do was look at the ground. He finally went to embrace his sister, and helped the others find the 46.
On the walk back to camp Jaha, Bellamy fell into step with Clarke.
"If this is about sending me to Mount Weather, it's okay. It had to be done. If I hadn't gone, our friends would all be dead," he said.
Clarke just kept walking, barely acknowledging his presence.
"I'm not mad at you. You did what you had to," Bellamy tried again.
"You should be," said Clarke. "You should be mad at me."
Bellamy didn't know what to say. But he was tired - so very tired, and didn't have the energy to try to get anything else out of her.
She avoided him for a day or so, and Bellamy wracked his brain to figure out what he could have done to make her act this way.
It was dark when she finally came to see him, her face a mask, hiding any emotion she might have been feeling.
"So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?" he asked.
Clarke held a finger up to her lips, and then gestured around the camp. Bellamy nodded and followed her out through the gates and into the forest. Once they were far away from the camp and Clarke had checked that no one had followed, it was safe to talk.
"Bellamy, there's something I have to tell you. Something I should have said earlier," Clarke began.
Bellamy didn't hear the crack in her voice as she spoke. Clarke stopped and took a deep breath.
"When you told me about the missile, I - I didn't warn anyone," she continued.
Bellamy looked at her, his eyebrows scrunched together in a mixture of disbelief and betrayal.
He'd thought she just didn't make it there in time… But Lexa was alive and unscathed, and he had sensed a new formed tension between Clarke and Octavia.
"They were all in TonDC - Octavia, Kane, Indra... Everyone. I didn't tell them about the missile. I just... Left. A – And I'm sorry."
Bellamy's face steeled up as he thought of his sister's near death. He clenched his fists, his entire body tensing. She'd put his sister in danger, knowingly.
He started to say something to Clarke, but the look on her face stopped him. She was so broken, and he knew – he knew he would never be able to blame her for what happened because he had done things too. They'd all done whatever they had to do to survive, and now they had to live with it. So he just looked at her, his gaze turning soft.
"Why aren't you mad at me?" She cried. "You should be furious! You should want to hurt me, hell maybe even try to kill me for what I've done."
He shook his head.
"No, Clarke. I forgive you."
He tried to pull her into a hug but she pushed him away.
"You should hate me! Your sister could have died because of me! All those people died because of me! Why don't you hate me?" She screamed, hot tears flowing down her cheeks.
He was glad they'd gone into the woods.
"I could never hate you, princess."
She just kept crying and this time she didn't protest as he wrapped his arms around her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I forgive you," he replied.
"What if I don't deserve to be forgiven?" She asked quietly.
"Everyone deserves to be forgiven," said Bellamy.
And that was when he knew. He'd thought about it before, but now he was sure of it.
"I love you, Clarke," he said quietly, his voice just above a whisper.
Clarke looked up at him with tears in her eyes as he stroked the back of her head, relishing the feeling of her soft but knotted hair.
"How can you love someone like me?" She asked.
"Because you're just like me," he whispered.
Clarke's eyes softened and another wave of tears began to spill out.
"I love you too, Bellamy."
And he kissed her. It was their first kiss, but it was filled with pent up emotion. It was soft and gentle but needy and passionate at the same time. It tasted sweet, the sweetness that was mixed with the salty taste of her tears.
They pulled away, breathless. Maybe they were irreparably broken, both having done unspeakable things. But at least they had each other and maybe, maybe that was enough.