For Now Its Enough
Author: Mary
Summary: Musings on a secret relationship. Hermione's POV. Review Please?? Complete
***

I can't help but steal a glance at him as I see him turn a corner and start walking towards me. To the casual observer, he doesn't notice me. But I see it. That small flicker of recognition in his eyes, nearly invisible to even those closest to him.

We've been together for nearly two years now, ever since Christmas of our fifth year. Nearly two years of sneaking around, meeting late at night in darkened corridors, or in between classes in some abandoned classroom.

I had stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays. Harry had gone with Ron to spend Christmas with the Weasleys. I would have gone as well, but I had spent the first week of vacation visiting my own parents, and secretly relished the time alone in the Gryffindor tower.

I had gone to the library late one night to finish an essay for Professor Snape on how to make a Skeleton Draught. I was reading a very interesting passage about an old wizard who had taken the potion and was unable to reverse it when I felt someone watching me.

What do you want? I muttered.

You're using the book I need, he answered, trademark sneer in place.

There are others you can use until I'm finished, I answered coldly, not bothering to look up at him.

Long story short, we found ourselves snogging in the restricted section before Filch caught us and kicked us out.

It started out as a simple case of teenage hormones gone mad. But eventually, he started opening up to me. He told me of his past, of his hopes for the future. Much of it surprised me at first, but I soon learned that the person the world sees is not who he is. It's a carefully placed mask to hide the real him.

He has the reputation of being a playboy, but I know otherwise. The Slytherin girls he wanders around Hogsmeade with are for show. Just actresses in the play he has scripted to throw his father off. But he never touches them, never holds their hands or gives them small kisses on the cheek. I'm the one he saves that for.

We're as different as anyone would expect us to be. The Slytherin Prince and the Gryffindor Golden Girl. The rich, cold, sneering, arrogant Slytherin quidditch captain, dating the Head Girl? The know-it-all, studious, serious, somewhat bossy, but always helpful Head Girl? Yes, on the outside we're complete opposites. But on the inside, we're the same.

No one really understands us. And no one really bothers to try. He doesn't have any true friends in his own house. He has servants and yes men. People who live to follow his orders, not listen to his problems. And Harry and Ron, they mean well, but they're too busy with their own lives to really get to know me.

The personalities we show to the world usually keep us apart. We don't get to spend much time together, and the time we do have is often brief. But some nights I manage to get my hands on Harry's Invisibility Cloak, and I sneak up to one of Hogwarts' numerous towers to meet my love. We lay on a blanket, gazing at the stars, while telling each other secrets.

Back in the real world, however, we keep up appearances of dislike for many reasons. He does it because if his father knew the truth, the consequences could be devastating. I do it for fear of what my best friends would say. Neither would believe me if I told them that my love wasn't who they thought him to be. They wouldn't believe that he didn't want to enter Voldemort's service. And they certainly wouldn't believe that I love him.

I know he loves me. He doesn't say it often, but he doesn't need to. He's never been one to openly show his emotions, but when he pulls me closer into his arms, I know how he feels.

And, now, as we pass in the hall, I try my hardest to keep the grin from forming on my face at the thought of him. I can see the smile that most mistake for his normal smirk faintly appear on his lips as he walks by me.

He's afraid he won't survive the upcoming battle. He told me that if anyone tries to hurt me, he'll kill them. I briefly considered trying to talk him into running away with me right after graduation, and hiding ourselves until the war was over. I even went so far as to playfully suggest it, but I knew it would never happen. He plans on standing up to his father and his father's friends. And I couldn't do that to Harry. I won't leave my best friend to fight Voldemort without me. When Voldemort finally makes his move, I'll be by Harry's side.

My love told me that if we both survive, we'll show the world that we're together. We'll marry, create a home and a family, and be together without fear of the opinions of others.

But at this moment, we'll settle for glances during class, short kisses during a break, and the rare meetings in our tower. One day we'll be free, but until then, this is all we have.

And as he ignores the words of his fellow Slytherins who saunter down the hall next to him, and graces me with a small smile and twinkling eyes that let me know he's in love with me, I can only think that for now, it's enough.

*****
www dot simple-dreams dot com