I went to work for a temp agency... and they fired me for being too depressing on the phone.
Princeton sighed. He punched ANOTHER number into the machine and didn't even bother to readjust his headset. It wasn't like the damn thing fit anyways. At least he had a job. Majoring in English was the stupidest idea he's ever had. He took a long look around his apartment, which had become his hideaway, while he waited for the customer to pick up.
"HELLO!" said an irritatingly cheerful voice from the phone.
"Hello," He responded, and he noticed how monotone and depressing his voice sounded. But he was unable to change it as he read through his script AGAIN.
"Sir, how would you like to subscribe to one of our hundreds of monthly magazines?" He sounded half-dead.
"WELL," said the cheery voice. "DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE SCIENTIFIC AMARICAN? I JUST LOVE THAT MAGAZINE THERE'S ALWAYS SO MUCH TO READ AND THEIR ARTICLES ARE ALWAYS SO INTERESTING IN FACT JUST THE OTHER DAY THERE WAS THIS NE ABOUT ELECTROMAGNETIC RADIATION AND HOW –"
"Yes, we have it," Princeton whispered, anything to shut this man up.
"OH GOOD," said the man, laughing nervously. Princeton was starting to bum him out. "WELL THEN I'LL TAKE ONE SUBSCRIPTION."
"Sure." He thought he sounded very uninterested, which was not untrue.
"Ok, well I'll look forward to receiving the first issue," said the man in a feeble attempt to save the conversation.
"You'll receive your first copy this month," Princeton said, typing slowly into the computer.
There was a long silence on the other end and when the man spoke again he was noticeably less enthusiastic. "Well, thank you." Click. He sat staring at the screen for a moment or two before continuing entering information.
Princeton's phone rang just then and he didn't pick up for 5 rings, finally deciding that it might be Kate, or someone important.
"Princeton? This is your boss calling. I've been getting some complaints from your customers about you, and even people who didn't buy from us. They say that you're very depressing and bored and that they aren't buying from us if you call them again. I'm sorry Princeton, but we can't lose customers like that. I know you haven't worked here for very long... But we're going to have to let you go. Goodbye."
It took Princeton a few attempts to raise his head, and a few more to take off the headset that connected him to the phone. Before he knew what he was doing the phone smashed against the opposite wall.
"Damn."