...Woo boy.
This is an entry for the dA club's (Behind-the-Emblem) contest. Their prompt was, "Never wear your best pants when fighting for freedom", and try as hard as I might, I couldn't make it serious. Why, you ask? Well, it's because the image of Gatrie yelling that while drunk was HAUNTING me. So, this little jewel was born. No flames or anything, please, because it's not supposed to be serious. In fact, I'll let you know when I figure out WHAT it's supposed to be.
Disclaimer: I do not own FE. At all.
"Tell me, Shinon, why didsh we do dish again?"
"'Cuz we're CHELEBRATING our GLORIOUSH reyun-yon!"
Gatrie peered into the bottle of wine that Shinon had got for him, sighing when he saw there wasn't much left. "You kidnapped me, though!"
"No, you owed me," Shinon said, leaning back against a barrel. He and Gatrie somehow managed to land in the storage tent of the company, though he didn't know how.
"I alwaysh owe you."
"That's 'cuz yer stupid."
"I am nawt."
"You are tooooooo..."
"I am nawt nawt nawt!"
"Then why do you alwaysh owe me?"
"'Cuz yer shneaky, you shneaky shneak."
"I am nawt."
They both took another drink of their wine, and Gatrie lapsed into a fit of giggles. "Shtop that," Shinon said moodily, waving his hand at his armored companion. "You sound like a girl."
"Better than having girl hair like you," Gatrie quipped, grinning like an idiot. Another round of silence.
"NEVER WEAR YOUR BEST PANTS TO A FREEDOM FIGHT!"
"What the hell wash that for?" Shinon said, shoving Gatrie.
"My mommy alwaysh said dat, an' I think it fitsh."
"You lie."
"I do nawt lie, I prop againsth a barrel. Shilly Shinon."
"You lie about yer pants fitting."
"Dey fit quite naishly, thank you vurry much."
"Why'd you wear yer good pantsh?"
"'Cuz I wanted Marsha to take dem off," Gatrie said with another giggle. "I even wore mai spechial lace knickers under 'em. TEEHEEHEE!"
"You have lacesh knickers?"
"Ya."
"Yer gay." Shinon snorted, waving his bottle haphazardly.
"Am not."
"Yesh you are. Only gay people and girls wear lacesh."
"I'm nawt gay."
"Yer nawt a girl either."
"I'm nawt gay, though!" Gatrie whined. "I like women an' boobies an' stuffs."
"Shur you doooooo..."
"I can prove it!"
"How?"
"I bet I can kissh you without being gay."
Shinon keeled over laughing, spilling his wine on his pants. "I don't think you can!"
"Can toooooo!"
"Okay, den kissh me!"
"Alright!"
Gatrie leaned over to Shinon, giving him a quick peck on the lips, then fell forward and started giggling into the sniper's shirt.
"My grandma's kisshes were more stimulating than that," Shinon said.
"Does that mean I'm not gay?"
"No, that mean you suck at kisshing. And are gay." The sniper added.
"I am not!"
"Are toooooo!"
"Don't make me have to kissh you again!"
"Ooo, scary!"
Gatrie leaned over and kissed Shinon again, this time shoving his tongue inside that other's mouth. The sniper closed his eyes and kissed the knight back, keeping the drunken lip-lock going for about a minute before Gatrie pulled away. During that brief moment, Shinon had somehow ended up in the knight's lap.
"Wash that better?" Gatrie asked.
"Ya."
"Then am I not gay?"
"No, but I am. I liked it."
"Eww, so thatsh why yer pants are wet."
"No, I spilled wine in 'em, dummy."
"Oh."
More silence.
"Oh, go be with Marsha, since yer no fun."
"Alright."
But Gatrie didn't move. Even more silence ensued.
"Marsha's an ugly chick, yanno?"
"More like an ugly man am I right?" Shinon said, smirking.
"Ya, but she'd get into my pantsh."
"I'd get into yer pantsh."
"They wouldn't fit you."
"Shall we try?"
Gatrie frowned. "You won't laugh at my knickers?"
"Of coursh I will."
"And my freedom pantsh?"
"I'll free dem pantsh from you."
"Oh, fine."
Please don't shoot me. oo;;;; R&R, please! ;;;;;