View from a Pond
Two denizens of the deep give a fish-eye view of the goings-on in and around a certain Minnesota lake. Pure silliness. Jack/Sam, kind of...
"I tell you, it's the real deal, George."
"Not plastic or anything fake?"
"Nope. Looks like the real thing, smells like the real thing, is the real thing, I'll bet."
"So you gonna take a chance, Stanley?"
"I was thinkin', yup. Done it before. You just gotta approach it from the back, away from the barb. You don't wanna pull too hard or they'll notice it and yank the line. Good way to get stuck in the side with a #6."
"Hey, Stanley, he's putting the fish pole down. I think...yeah...they've left. Go for it! Next one's mine, don't forget."
"Sure, George. Ummm, good stuff. Wow, you see smoke like I see smoke? What we got here, a forest fire?"
"Don't think so, Stanley. Think it's what they call a regular Bar-B-Que. Lenny told me about 'em. He gets caught so much that he ends up spendin' a lot of time out of water. Learns all kinds of stuff that way. So what was I sayin' again? Oh, yeah, they take a chunk of meat or fish..."
"Fish, George? Like, someone we know?"
"Nah. No one in this lake's that big, 'cept Wilbur, down at the drain-off."
"You think it's him, George?"
"Nope. Got to have a boat to fish down there. You see any boat here?"
"Uh-uh."
"Okay, then. Hey, hey, what we got here? They're kissin'!"
"What's 'kissin'?"
"Well, they put their mouths together and then they..."
"Hey, George, you're grossin' me out, here. Yecchhh. Don't they care about germs?"
"Don't know, Stanley, don't know. But I'm tellin' ya...some fish kiss."
"No way, Jose!"
"Yup. Mildred spent a couple months in an aquarium, 'til she got too big and they brought her back, and she said there's fish called kissing gouramis."
"But they're tropicals! Whattaya expect from tropicals? I mean, guppies are tropicals and they eat their own babies!
"True, true. They give us cold-waters a bad name, for sure."
"Now they're doin' something else!"
"Stanley, you really think you oughta be watchin'?"
"George, I know about these things already, okay? After all, I've spawned!"
"Go on! Who's the lucky fish?"
"Agnes, down in the swamp. See, first we played a little hide-and-seek in the pickerel weed, and then we met up under the floating pond lily roots..."
"Stanley, you ever heard the phrase 'too much information?'"
"Okay, okay, I get the message. Just wanted to let you know that I've been around the pond a few times, if you know what I mean, George."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. So...this Agnes got a sister?"
"Uh-huh, lots. You askin' now, for next spring?"
"Might as well get all my ducks in a row, Stanley."
"George, please don't do that to me. You know how I hate inter-species sayings. I just can't figure them out."
"Oh, yeah, right. Forgot for a minute. Sorry. Hey, hey, hey! Will you look at that, Stanley! Whew! Okay...well...changin' the subject, I seen a whole lot of mosquitoes down in the bay, plenty for both of us. Whattaya say?"
"Good idea there, George. Won't be any more fishin' done around here for a while, that's for sure. Shall we?"