"Jean, I love you! Marry me!" Eren cried in a way so that the whole dining hall could hear him right before he grabbed Jean's head and planted a forceful kiss on his lips.

Jean was so shocked he could not react in any way. He just gaped blankly as Eren quickly pulled away, his mouth opening and closing several times, before he furiously wiped his lips and shouted, "Jaeger! What the hell! How dare you violate my poor innocent lips!"

His scream of despair was what pushed the play button again. Suddenly the thick silence that settled over the room after Eren's passionate love confession was broken as some started laughing, some assuring their immediate surroundings they've always known Eren had a thing for his sworn rival, some pretending to vomit, some muttering death threats... all in all, Eren was the cause of a state of total chaos and confusion.

However, said cause was not present to observe this, as he was already long gone, off to the closest bathroom for a thorough cleaning of the parts of his body that were contaminated with Jean's presence.

As he was brushing his teeth (for the sixth time) he cursed inwardly, 'Shit. That was so disgusting! I'm never ever letting myself be provoked to any bets again! Argh! I hate him!'

Two hours later, when it was the agreed time to chain and lock Eren up in his basement room, Levi Heichou walked down the stairs to find a sulking Eren sitting on his bed, facing away from his 'visitor'.

At the sight, Levi had some serious trouble holding back amused chuckles. He did succeed – however Eren knew him too well.

"Stop laughing."

"...I haven't laughed."

"Out loud. You're dying of laughter inside, aren't you."

Levi smirked. "You know me so well."

"Shut up. I hate you."

"Oh, really? You know it's your own fault you've lost that bet, right?" Levi asked, this time not bothering to hide his amusement, as he made his way towards Eren.

As the boy noticed his Heichou was coming closer, he turned around more to face away from him completely. "How is it my fault? I couldn't have known that that move was so damn hard when Mikasa did it on the first try."

Levi raised an eyebrow at that. "You actually judged it according to how fast Ackerman of all people learned it? Are you an idiot?"

"Hey!" Eren snapped over his shoulder.

"What?" was Levi's cool reaction.

"Tsk."

"Are you gonna sulk for long?"

"Yes. Tell me; why did I have to do that? And more importantly, why Jean? Confessing to him in front of everyone and... and... kissing him?" the last part was said in so much disgust it was astounding.

"Because it was funny as hell to watch."

"Bastard."

"Yet you still love me."

"..."

Levi smirked at the lack of denial. Eren had finally learned he really, really couldn't lie to save his life so instead of embarrassing himself by getting exposed (in the most embarrassing way Levi could think of) he more and more often opted for staying silent.

"I feel so dirty now," Eren mumbled quietly after a while.

Levi smiled affectionately ('Eren isn't looking so it's okay.') at the defeated aura Eren was displaying. "In that case we should do something about it," he announced in a low tone at which Eren turned around with a hopeful spark in his eyes.

"What do you suggest, Heichou?"

"I don't know; what do you have in mind?"

"You should disinfect me?"

"And how do I do that?"

"Kiss me," Eren breathed.

"I don't want to indirectly kiss with Kirstein, you know..." Levi said in a contemplating tone as he leaned closer.

Eren rolled his eyes. "You really know how to slaughter the mood... Do you think I spent an hour in the bathroom just admiring myself in the mirror?"

Levi smiled. "An hour?"

"Yeah."

"Good then."

And he gap between them disappeared in a sweet, innocent kiss.

In the morning Levi woke up disoriented. It took him a few moments to realize where he was and remember that he had, in fact, stayed with Eren last night (after Eren puppy-eyed him into it) to make up for the trouble the titan-shifter went through (and will go through while trying to explain the show he made) because of the bet Levi proposed.

He had to admit he admired Eren for not complaining more than he did. It was pretty cold in there and so dirty! That was the awful thing about basements. They were cold, damp and most importantly – uncleanable.

Seriously. As soon as Eren wakes up, Levi is leaving for the shower. He spent way too much time in the presence of filth already. He could feel a thin (infinitesimally so) layer of it covering him making him feel gross and in the need of a bath.

'...Actually screw Eren.'

However, even the compulsive need to go to the closest bathroom left him as soon as he tried to move. And it wasn't because of the young body warped tightly around his.

"Shit."

"Hm?"

"You're awake?"

"Yeah. Good morning, by the way."

"Morning, brat."

Eren, who had a feeling he knew what the swearing was about, smirked as he asked anyway. "What's wrong?"

"Your bed is shit. How can you sleep on this thing every day? I'm sore all over."

Eren smiled, satisfied. This was one (considerably big) part of a reason he insisted Levi stays the night. "I told you so and you didn't believe me."

"I didn't think it was this bad," Levi groaned as he tried to unblock his back.

"Well it is. Don't you think I deserve a better bed?"

Levi looked at him coolly. "Moving another bed here is too much of a pain. No way we're doing that. You have to live with it."

Eren looked at him contemplating if Levi was joking. Did he really not understand what Eren was trying to imply? "I was thinking more along the lines of moving me, you know... That wouldn't be any trouble at all; I can do it myself."

"Too bad, sweetheart; that's impossible. You have to stay here." Levi shattered all Eren's hopes with a light tone and a simple shrug.

Eren shot up to a sitting position, glaring 3DMG blades at his lover-superior. "Why? It's not like these-" he reached out and grabbed the rusted-beyond-repair chains hanging from the wall, "-even work anymore. And I don't remember the last time someone bothered to lock the door!"

Levi shook his head. "It doesn't matter. We were ordered to keep you secluded."

"Since when do you care about orders?!"

"Since they coincide with denying you something."

Eren gaped at him as Levi shamelessly smirked back.

"...What?"

"You heard me. You're adorable when you get all passionate to get your way."

"...You're more awful than I give you credit for."

"Thank you. I try."

Eren raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "So do I get moved somewhere that has something that can actually be called a bed or do I announce a strike?"

"Why are you even asking me? Shouldn't you ask Erwin?"

"I did. 'Levi is the one who's responsible for you, so it depends on him,' is what he said."

Levi rolled his eyes. Erwin could be such a bastard. Levi was responsible for Eren not going crazy and killing everyone so why did he have to take care of these things, too? But then something occurred to him. He could make use of this.

He locked eyes with the brat. "If that's the case, then you'll have to ask nicely and I'll consider it. Start with some strip-show or maybe a lap dance..."

Eren made a show out of glancing at the ceiling instead. "Or maybe I could just go for the strike and deny you everything until you give in."

"We both know that's not gonna work. I am not the hormonal teenager in this relationship."

"We'll see about that."

Eren's promise to himself to never get provoked to bets was long forgotten.

And so the challenge was on.

A/N: The whole of this was born purely for the sake of the 'I want a new bed' 'We're not moving any beds here' 'No, I want out' exchange...

Now that I look at it, it's more like two separate (stupid) fics glued together, isn't it... ;;