They were having drinks in Baltimore. It was far enough outside of DC for the both of them. The further they got outside the district, the less the chance of getting spotted by the Washington Press Corp, they rationalized.

"So," Josh sighed, taking a sip of his drink, "what did you find out on HR 218?"

Donna smiled and began spouting off the bill's sponsors and its pros and cons for The Administration. "I have about 30 note cards on my desk," she told him. "You'll have them first thing in the morning so that you're ready for your meeting."

"Thanks," he smirked. "This…this is nice, right?"

"What's nice?" she asked, picking at his fries.

"This…being here and not looking over our shoulders the whole time," he smirked. "It's….nice."

"Yeah," she agreed. "You know…we could go for a walk maybe, before we head back to DC. It's nice out…the Inner Harbor will be peaceful."

"Sure," he nodded. "When we're done here, okay?"

Donna smiled and nodded at him and they continued small talk about work and their friends. Josh fiddled with his blackberry and Donna let him complain about the tightness of his schedule. For the past six months this had been their lives.

It happened in California when they were there to campaign for Sam. There was drinking and there was exhaustion and in the middle of it all, there was kissing. Donna couldn't remember who initiated it but she remembered it happening. One minute they were all together in the hotel bar, and the next, she and Josh were kissing in his hotel room. And that was that. There wasn't much discussion about their relationship. Their work didn't suffer in the slightest. No one knew that they were together, so there were no problems for The Administration whatsoever. It was perfect. Now, they would get out of town when they could so they could act like a normal couple. Normally, they would spend a few hours together after work at each other's apartments. But once in a while, they would get out of the District and hold hands while having drinks or taking walks. Donna lived for those moments. She loved feeling like she was in a socially acceptable relationship. She just wished that Josh would relax. No matter how far away from DC they were, he would always be just a little bit on edge. If his phone rang he'd always step away from her and drop her hand, feeling like the person on the other end of the line could sense what they were doing or something. He was fine at the office but outside it, especially lately, he'd been extremely tense. Donna loved him, so she was willing to give him some slack. Sometimes, however, she hated how he could compartmentalize his life. One minute they could be together in every sense of the word and the next he could be on the phone with Toby talking about the best way to lobby the leadership about some policy initiative. It would be like she wasn't even in the room. It was Josh, though. It was part of what made him brilliant.

They finished their drinks and Josh's fries and Josh paid the bill and they set out for the Harbor. They walked along together, hand in hand talking about her roommate's cats and Margaret's theories on the fat content of the muffins from The Mess. Then, without warning, he dropped her hand and walked away from her quickly. Donna watched him, confused, as he began walking quickly in the opposite direction of where they had been heading. "Josh?" she asked, looking around to try to find out what might have spooked him. She didn't recognize anyone. There were some people taking pictures of the boats in the water or of their families, kids laughing with their friends, people walking by the water – but, no one that she knew. She stared confused after Josh and her hand went up to her mouth as she sighed in frustration. She tried to smile as she tucked her hair behind her ears and not look so pathetic, standing alone in the middle of the dock. She made her way over to a bench and sat down. She figured Josh would be back eventually.

Her eyes filled with tears about an hour later when he still hadn't shown up. "Bastard," she whispered and she wiped her eyes and stood up and headed for the street. She hailed a cab and made it back to their room. She began furiously throwing her clothes into her bag and cursing her stupidity. She only paused for a moment when she heard the door behind her.

"Hey," he whispered. "Where ya going?"

"Home, Josh," she said, not looking back at him. "I'm going home."

"We have the room till the morning," he said, crossing in front of her and sitting on the bed. He looked at her face and saw the tear tracks down her cheeks and the puffiness in her eyes. "Hey," he whispered, reaching out for her hand.

"You just left me out there," she said, still not meeting his eyes. "You dropped my hand and ran away from me…and you didn't come back. How could you do that?"

"I…I thought I saw Danny, out there by the water, I thought I saw Danny with a camera," he told her. "I…we couldn't take that chance, Donna, you know that. You agreed with that."

"I didn't see Danny, Josh," Donna said to him, looking at him square in the eye.

"I did," he said simply.

"Okay…you saw him. Whatever," Donna seethed. "And you're right. I agreed with you about keeping this thing between us quiet. But you know what I didn't agree to? I didn't agree to being made to feel unimportant. I didn't agree to being embarrassed in the middle of Baltimore."

He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. "C'mon," he said. "Seriously? You know how I feel about you…but this," he said gesturing between them, "This can't be more important than my job, than the Presidency. It can't. This is what I've waited my whole life to do. I can't...I can't get distracted…with whatever this is," he said. "I can't let you and I…us… ruin The Administration."

"Is that what I am?" she asked, "A distraction?"

"That's not what I meant, Donna," he sighed. "I just…I don't know anymore," he laughed sadly. "These last few months," he sighed, "They've been great, Donna."

She smiled at him, wiping her eyes a little, "But?"

"But, I have a job to do," he told her. "Protecting the President is the most important part of my job. Us being an us could damage his reputation."

"Always the consummate politician," she laughed.

"That's not what I meant….damn this isn't coming out right," he slammed his hands against the bed as he pushed himself up in frustration. His face was flushed and his breathing became erratic as he stalked around the room.

Donna closed her eyes and got up and grabbed his hands and led him back to the bed. She smiled at him and moved her hands to his face and forced him to look at her. "Hey," she whispered as her hands strayed to his hair and smoothed it down a bit. His panic attacks had been less in recent months, but they still came and she still worried.

"Hey," he answered back, smiling at the calming effect her hands had on him. His breathing slowed down a bit.

She smiled at him and nodded her happiness as his breathing became more normal. "You're okay, Josh," she told him. "You're okay."

"Yeah, because you're here," he said, closing his eyes and moving his arms around her body and pulling her flush against him.

"I'm here, Josh," she confirmed, returning his embrace. "I'll always be here for you," she told him.

He pulled back and inhaled deeply, "But?" he asked.

She smiled sadly at his perceptiveness. "Tonight sucked, Josh," she told him. "You're too paranoid. Danny wasn't there tonight. You got spooked. When you get spooked you run and you don't think about the consequences."

"Consequences?" he asked. "Every day I think about the consequences."

She laughed at his mistake. "Wrong set of consequences. I meant the consequences of constantly putting me last."

"Donna…you know how I feel about you," he tried.

"No," she sighed, "I don't." She pulled away from him now and tucked her legs underneath of her body. "It's okay, though," she told him, "you don't have tell me now so get the panicked look off your face."

"You're so important to me," he told her.

"I know," she smiled at him and grabbed his hand. "I can put up with a lot, Josh. I'm a strong girl. I'm not…I'm not some stupid girl…"

"I never said you were," he interrupted her.

"Please," Donna sighed. "Let me finish, Josh, please…"

He sighed and looked at her, "Fine, go ahead."

"I can deal with you being horrible to me at work sometimes; I can handle keeping how happy I am with you a secret from everyone we care about; I can work 18 hour days without breaking a sweat," she smiled sadly at him. "I can handle you acting like a jackass most of the time; what I can't handle is you moving everything in your world ahead of me." She shrugged and wiped her eyes. "That's on me, I know that. I know how important your job is. I know how happy it makes you. I just thought…I just thought that you were happy with me. I thought…" she sniffed, "I thought we could be happy together…that I could help you be that great person that I know you're going to be. But I can't. You can't get out of your own way. You won't let yourself be happy with me."

"Donna," he sighed, "I am happy with you," he tried to explain. "I just…there's so much going on right now. When we're out of office…" he started.

"When President Bartlett is out of office, you'll move onto Sam," Donna sighed. "It's his dream…it's your dream. Your eyes light up talking about it. You throw yourself into your work, Josh."

"I can't tell you you're wrong," Josh sighed, "but so what? Is this news? I'm a workaholic!"

"You are," Donna nodded. "I know that. I know how you operate. But you know what? I know how calm you are when we spend the night together," she smiled at him, "you allow yourself to relax. One minute I feel like we're connecting…like we're 'Josh and Donna. Then the next minute, you're pretending I'm not even in the room. I can deal with being second fiddle when we're in a crowd of people at work – but not when we're by ourselves."

Josh looked at her and saw all of the sadness in her eyes and he shook his head. "Donna…"

"Joshua Lyman, I love you," she smiled bravely at him, "I do. I love you so much. But…you know what? I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" he asked, hoarsely.

"This," she said firmly. "You and me…us. I can't," she shrugged.

"Donna…I'm sorry about tonight," he started.

"No," she shook her head. "You don't have to be. It's…not just tonight. I…I can't be this person anymore."

"You can't?" he asked.

"I can't; I'm sorry; I'm done," she nodded.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"I don't know," she told him. Her hands framed his face. "Josh," she whispered almost desperately.

His hands pushed her hair back and his lips found hers. His kiss was hesitant at first and then got stronger as he felt her melt into him. After a few minutes, they both pulled away and their foreheads rested against each other.

"Don't be done, Donna. I'm not done. We're not done," he whispered to her as his eyes remained closed and his breathing slowed down.

"I am, Josh," she told him. She leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss against his lips and her hands removed his hands from her neck. "Stay here tonight," she told him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Home," she told him with a firm nod. "I'm going home."

"I will see you at work on Monday?" he asked.

"I can't promise you that, Josh," Donna told him as she picked up her bag.

"I can't do this without you," he told her as tears threatened to fall down his face.

"Can't do what?" she asked as she opened the door.

Josh stared at her and didn't respond.

She smiled sadly and nodded. "Get some sleep, Josh," she told him as she walked into the hall and pulled the door shut behind her.