A/N: Another Matt Nathanson song! This is going to be a 2-part fic focused on two characters from season 4 that I think received not enough attention and way too much hate. I'm not going to say who the other chapter is about yet, but I bet you can figure it out. And really, the next part IS coming soon =)

Disclaimer: Don't own it

When you lead me, fit around my tongue
It's so easy to forget that I'm lost
I spent all of my life waiting for answers
To lift me, to numb me, to define it all

"I love you, Tony," she said as he slipped into bed next to her. As usual, he pulled her close to kiss her instead of responding. She returned his kisses almost halfheartedly, her mind elsewhere. Why can't he ever say it? In the six months since he'd moved in, Tony had never told her he loved her. She tried to let it go tonight, as usual. He just has trouble putting that into words...because he's been hurt so badly. Jen couldn't stand to think of her - Michelle Dessler. Even the name made her eyes narrow and her fists clench. Jen could see how the woman had broken Tony, stolen his pride and his will to live. Somehow Jen knew it was her fault that he hardly did anything anymore except drink beer and watch soccer. She didn't know exactly what Michelle had done to make him this way, because Tony rarely spoke of her - except in his dreams.

And that was the real reason Jen hated the other woman so much: She knew that despite the malicious things she'd apparently done to Tony, he still loved her so much it was killing him. Jen had lost track of the number of times she'd woken up to Tony thrashing around, sometimes sobbing, and mumbling her name. "Michelle..." His expression cut her to the core. Never, in anger or love, had he looked that passionately at her. The only time she'd woken him during one of these dreams, tormented disappointment had flashed across his face before it returned to his usual apathy. Stunned, Jen had silently rolled over and cried herself back to sleep. Will he ever get over her? When she was completely honest with herself, Jen feared she would never be enough for him; that no matter how much time passed, he would always wish it was Michelle he was holding.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Tony wasted no time slipping his hands under her shirt. She allowed him to pull it off and ran her hands down his sides, feeling herself being drawn into him again. Does it really matter? He was the best thing that had ever happened to her - even in his depressed state, he was a decent man and showed her more respect than anyone ever had. Before him, all she'd known was one-night stands from the bar and a boyfriend who occasionally slapped her around. Tony was her Prince Charming, and she was willing to settle for as much of him as he could give. As long as Michelle is just a memory, we can be as close to happy as I'll ever get.

Sunshine, I'm beginning to like this
All I wanna be is the minute that you hold me in
When you pretended I'm all that you're waiting for
Time slips to nothing and I'm better than I've ever been
I'm suspended

Yes, Jen was a bitch, but I felt like she wasn't really fairly represented in the show - we only see her after her alcoholic boyfriend brings home people from his old life that tell her she can't go to work or use the phone. It's not like she's used to being responsible for national security! And I think she could tell Tony wasn't that into her, which had to be hard. Anyway, please review it, and tell me if you know who the second part is going to cover...hint: it's the same song.