Hathaway was miserable. He couldn't get the image of Briony's dead body out of his mind. He'd killed her. He may not have actually been the one to perform the act but he had pushed her to it. He sighed,

"Like leading a lamb to the slaughter." It was almost 2:30 in the morning and try as he might he couldn't stop thinking about her. He hadn't been able to get her out of his head for almost three days now. Nothing worked. Drinking, sleeping pills… he had even resorted to begging God to make him forget. Funny, how still even in his worst moments he found himself praying to God even though he'd all but given up in his faith.

Currently he was nursing a bottle of whisky while lying on his sofa and strumming his guitar. Innocent had given him a few days off, told him not to come in until next week. All that did was given him more time to think about Briony. At least work would provide some sort of distraction. There was a rapid knocking at the door which brought him out of his thoughts. He didn't get up, didn't want to see anyone or talk. He just wanted to be alone. There was another series of knocks before he heard the door unlocking. For a moment the tiniest of smiles crossed his lips, of course… it was her. It was the only person it could be. When the door opened she shut it quickly before practically running into the room. She stopped when she saw him, a sad look in her eye,

"Oh James…" She crossed the room and sat down next to him. He didn't look at her as she gently removed the guitar from his hands and sat it down on the floor. He could tell she was worried, she had her hair thrown up into a messy pony tail and was wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top as well as her glasses. Obviously she had been asleep before coming here. Any other time he would've grinned and made a cheeky comment about her attire even though he thought she looked rather adorable in it but not tonight. She took his hand, "Lewis called," Ah, so that's how she knew, "said he was worried about you. Told me what happened."

"Thought you would've seen it on the news or the web." She gave him a small chuckle,

"You know me, never one to pay attention to the media." She frowned a little, "Why didn't you call me?"

"Didn't want to bother you." She scoffed,

"You know damn well you're not a bother to me so don't even." Her voice softened, "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. She's dead because of me. I killed her."

"No you didn't. James-"

"I did!" He pulled his hand out of hers and leaned forward, burring his face in his hands, "If I hadn't pushed her she'd still be alive. I bullied her into it. I got her killed. It's my fault… It's all my fault." His voice cracked as tears welled up in his eyes, "And now… I can't get her out of my head. Night and day and I can't stop thinking about her. I can still see her lifeless eyes staring at me. God she was just a kid. Just a kid." Tears spilled down his cheeks as she knelt down in front of him and quietly whispered,

"Hey, it's not your fault. It's not. Lewis told me all about it. Her boyfriend gave that creep the heads up about what she was doing and then he told that woman who then killed her. They're the ones to blame. Not you. You didn't do this."

"But I made her do it, I-"

"You made her do nothing. She knew you were right and she wanted to help. She could've ignored your words and kept on going with her day. But she knew that something was wrong. She was young but she wasn't a child, she knew what she was doing. She knew she could've been caught, she knew that there were risks but she was brave and did it anyway. She was brave and went up against her boss and her boyfriend and James Hathaway don't you dare take that away from her by blaming yourself. Do you hear me?" She lifted his chin so he was looking her in the eyes as she wiped his tears away, "Briony was a clever girl and she died doing the right thing. So don't you dare go blaming yourself and putting her death on your head. Don't you dare."

He could see the fire and passion in her eyes. She believed in all that she said, she believed in him. He didn't know why or how but she did. She always did. His head still mulled about the idea that it was his fault but his heart felt lighter. Her words were sinking in, just as the always had. He was torn, part of him believed her and that it wasn't his fault and part of him still felt guilty about her death.

She leaned up and kissed his cheek, his eyes fluttered closed as she kissed his other cheek,

"You're not a monster James." She pressed kisses across his face as she continued whispering soothing words to him, "You're not evil. You're a good man. You're kind, gentle, and sweet." Mentally he smiled, she always knew how his mind worked and knew just what to say to make the pain and the self loathing go away. Her lips hovered just over his, "You're a wonderful man James. Best man I've ever known, and I love you for all that you are." She closed the gap between them and pressed her lips against his. Slowly James kissed her back before he deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, pulling her closer to him. She responded in kind and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her fingers in his hair. He pulled her up off the floor and into his lap and held onto her for dear life. He poured everything into their kissing, conveying everything he felt in a way that only she could understand. Because she was his life line in life. She pulled him out of the depths of his own personal hell, she was the one good thing in his life. The one thing that felt right and wasn't corrupted by all that he had seen. He kissed her fiercely and she returned it with full force, letting him know he wasn't alone.

Hours later, she was fast asleep. He had pulled a blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around them as he held her close. Her hair had come undone and was splayed across the sofa while she lightly gripped his hand around her waist. He had spent the last hour watching her sleep and marveling at just how beautiful she was. He had always wondered why no one had swept her up during their time in university, why she always chose to hang around with him. He never understood it, he still didn't understand why she chose him, a lost cause. She loved him, he knew that even before she told him, he had seen it in the way she talked to him. And she knew that he loved her even though he had never said it. He knew it was selfish of him not to tell her so, he knew she wanted to hear it though never pushed him to. But he was terrified to say it. He felt that by saying it out loud he would muck it up for them and ruin the way things were. It was stupid and silly and he knew it, but that fear kept him from saying it. He poured his heart into the things he did for her and she often told him that his actions told her he loved her, but to him that wasn't enough.

He sighed as he gazed at her in the moonlight. She deserved better than him, but for now he would be content to hold on to her for as long he could until she realized that. She was his light in the dark, his angel in all the torment. He leaned down and kissed her bare shoulder before shutting his eyes and burying his face in the crook of her neck and whispering,

"I love you Dani… with all my heart."

~ I'm thinking of creating a series of connected oneshots of Dani and Hathaway, just little insights into Hathaway's mind and world. Some, like this one, would be after a particular episode and some would be memories from their times at University while others are just random oneshots of the two. I do have some ideas including one for the ending of the seventh series. If you'd like to see more of Dani and James then please favorite, follow, or review. Review as well if you have a specific idea, aspect, or aftermath of an episode you'd like to see. Cheers! –ilovemedia18 ~