Author's Notes:

Before we go any farther, let me point out that this story is INCREDIBLY gay. That's the point of it. If you have an issue with that, don't read any farther.

Some of you haven't read any of my old stories, and most who did probably don't remember them because it's been a LOOOONG time (as in, over nine years), so here's a rundown: the main character is Akite, whose first master died in the Battle of Geonosis. Her second master, Moyek Yasi, was known for being amazing with a lightsaber and a little bit crazy. Also, Akite narrates the stories in first person, so you can imagine her telling you this story.

I've actually been sitting on this for a really long time. I started it when I was getting excited for TFA and I went and reread my old stories. The thing is, I'd always imagined Moyek as lesbian, but I didn't feel confident saying it outright back in high school. I thought that somewhere in Bloodrain (which is terribly written overall, in retrospect) I'd hinted at it, but when I reread it, I realized I'd completely failed. I felt like I had to do something, and now I'm older and wiser and can actually SAY that the character is gay.

Over and over. And over.

And over.

And over.

Yeah.

Jedi and Proud

It started after Moyek fell in love for the second time.

Everyone crowded around her in the cafeteria when she got back from her mission. Of course, everyone wanted to hear about missions, but there were a lot more listeners for her than for most people. Her friends were there, as usual, but there was also a crowd of younger students who just wanted to be close to Moyek Yasi, the crazy padawan, the one who won every lightsaber tournament except the ones she lost for fun, who would tell teachers the things everyone else wanted to say but were too scared to, who wasn't afraid of anything, who had once taken her friends and a handful of initiates on a shuttle offworld and had avoided getting expelled, mostly because the Council members were afraid she'd start a cult if they ever let go of her. With a person like that, everything they did was fascinating.

There were questions all around.

"What was it like?"

"Where did you get to go?"

"Did you get to do anything alone, or was your master always there?"

"Did you fight anyone?"

"Did you kill anyone?"

Moyek answered the questions: she had gotten to work alone a bit, she hadn't gotten into fights, and if she had killed someone she wouldn't be bragging about it. (If she was going to be their role model, she had to be a good one.)

"But there were problems, too," she said. "I fell in love again, and it was even worse than last time."

The thing is, falling in love is always awkward for a Jedi. You aren't supposed to do it at all. Of course, most people do. I did. My friends did. Maybe even Yoda did once. He used to be a kid, too. But even if everyone does it, hardly anybody actually talks about it. That's hard, when you need advice and all you can get is that you need to let go and move on. But she was Moyek Yasi, so if there was something people didn't talk about, she'd make a point of doing just that.

"Why would you do that?" asked one of the younger kids.

"I didn't do it on purpose."

"You didn't?" Another kid sounded disappointed.

"It wasn't something to get at the teachers," Moyek explained. "I understand why we aren't allowed to. It's distracting and it causes conflicts of interest and a weakness that your enemies can and probably will exploit. But you can't really help it. It happens to pretty much all of us eventually."

"Who did you fall in love with?" asked Flen, her Ithorian friend.

"A politician's kid." That had just made the situation worse, she thought.

"Was it hard to leave?" Flen asked.

"Yes." She looked down. She hadn't gotten over it yet.

"Was he hot?" asked one of the other padawans, a Human named Yarel, excitedly.

Moyek rolled her eyes and sighed. Why did they always ask whether they were hot?

"You mean, 'Was she hot,'" said another of her friends, Ajiya.

"'She'?"

"Of course, 'she'!" Moyek said. "Don't you know I'm lesbian?"

"Jedi can be lesbian?" The Human boy frowned.

"Anyone can be lesbian." Even people on planets where it's banned, she thought bitterly.

"What's 'lesbian'?" asked another padawan.

Moyek frowned. He was thirteen, same as her. How did he not know that? It mattered so much to so many people. Moyek had seen that even in the small amount of time she'd spent out in the galaxy.

"It means she usually only falls in love with girls," said Flen, trying to make it simple for him.

"Jedi shouldn't call themselves things like that," Yarel said. "They aren't supposed to fall in love. If they do, they shouldn't talk about it."

"Then what are you doing here, listening to this story?" Flen asked.

"I mean, she admits it wasn't a good idea. But calling herself lesbian? It sounds like she's proud of being in love."

"Naming my sexual orientation doesn't mean I'm in love with anyone. It's just a word for who I'm interested in."

"But what Jedi ever does that?"

Moyek's frown deepened.

"Do you not know who you're talking to?" asked Flen. "She'll take that as a challenge."

"But it doesn't really matter, does it?" asked Ajiya. "You're not going to act on it."

"It's an identity. The rest of the galaxy talks about it as part of who they are. Why can't I?"

"Because you're not looking for a girlfriend," Yarel said, sounding like he thought she was stupid.

"So? It's still part of me."

"But it doesn't matter."

Moyek crossed her arms. "I just watched someone have to decide to hide who she really is and who she loves so she wouldn't either get disowned or end her mother's political career. And it's not even that bad for her: people on other planets die for it. Even on planets where nobody has any problem with it, people feel like it's part of who they are, how they see the world. It matters to everyone else. Why not me?"

"Because you're a Jedi. What Jedi goes around telling people their sexual orientation?"

"Now you've done it," said Flen.

She waved her hands to get the attention of all twenty-or-so people at the table, as if they weren't already watching her.. "Hey, everyone!" she said. "I'm homosexual. And it doesn't matter to any of you, but it does to the galaxy, and it does to me." She folded her arms. "There, see?"

"He's right," said one of the older padawans. "Jedi shouldn't talk about being gay."

Apparently, they hadn't gotten the message yet. The people around Moyek were crowding her too much for her to be able to get up, so she nudged them away until she could stand. Her friends watched in silent, morbid fascination. "Hey, everyone!" she shouted.

A few heads turned her way, but only people near her, and no teachers. Not enough.

"Hey! I have an announcement!"

Still not working.

"Hey!" Moyek jumped on the table.

Instantly, the cafeteria went silent. People turned to look at her. One of her teachers jumped out of zer seat, ready to stop her from whatever she was about to do. She knew she had to be fast.

"Hey, everyone, I'm gay, even though I'm a Jedi! Just wanted to let you know!"

She grinned, then jumped down to a table full of staring, laughing, and cheering.

And then, everyone started to talk.

Unsurprisingly, people started coming out all over the Temple after Moyek's announcement on the table. Gay, bisexual, pansexual, even one padawan who was asexual, which was pretty much what Jedi were supposed to be but apparently made a lot of people think he was lying to make himself look better.

"I'm just straight," one girl complained. "I'm boring."

"Great," said Moyek. "Tell everyone. If you have to tell them you're straight, it lets them know that someone else might not be."

The girl smiled, happy to be part of Moyek Yasi's rebellion. And Moyek felt pretty good.

Moyek looked out the sides of the transparisteel tunnels at the beautiful coral garden around her. It was the best part of this planet, much more enjoyable than what she was supposed to be doing: talking to the handmaidens who were companions to the princess. Master Jaren had told her that was her job, since they were only a few years older than her and girls. Moyek knew it was always a good idea to get to know the servants, but Alaura, Ela, Jei, and Merri weren't really servants, they were politicians, and they would think hard before sharing the things they overheard.

So, she was getting more and more bored listening to stories of people dating and not dating and just dating for political reasons and liking each other but not dating for political reasons… Nothing was useful. Moyek was no good at gossip. She'd rather be chasing bounty hunters or pirates. So would Jaren, probably, but he didn't say so. He didn't want to encourage her.

The coral garden really was amazing. Judging from this, Moyek would have thought it would be nice to live in an underwater city, but one of the few useful pieces of information she had learned so far was that there were an absurd number of daily technical problems with living under a dome. Still, it was the only way they could survive on this planet, with its poisonous soil and dangerous weather.

Moyek was paying much more attention to the passing fish than to the handmaidens while they discussed which men were fun and which to stay away from, until the girl named Merri said, "But Nauri's gay, so he's practically a girl."

Moyek frowned, annoyed. If they thought a gay man was a girl, then they would think she was a boy. Sure, she wasn't very feminine, but most Jedi weren't, and even if she was less feminine than someone like Ajiya, she was still a girl.

"He's so nice," said Ela to Moyek, smiling. Unlike the other three, her friendliness seemed to be entirely genuine. "But he can't find a boyfriend, because none of the other boys are interested in men."

It wasn't right to let them talk about this without them knowing. "At least I don't have to try to find another girl who likes me," Moyek said.

The girls tried to cover their surprise, but none of them entirely succeeded. "You mean –" Jei started.

"I'm gay, too," Moyek said.

Merri blushed and covered her eyes in embarrassment.

"You can do that?" Alaura asked. "I thought Jedi…"

"It's not something I do, it's something I am."

"But if you can't date –"

"I can still be interested in people. I mean, they can't stop us from having feelings. I just have to ignore it."

"I never knew that," said Jei in genuine surprise.

She really needed to talk about this more. It was a problem.

"So are you really bored with this conversation?" Alaura asked. "I know this is really girly stuff."

"Yes, but not because I'm gay. I just don't like gossip." Moyek wanted to kick herself. Now they would believe all the stereotypes were true and that she didn't count as one of them.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Politics would be good."

"But –" started Merri.

Ela shot her a look. "Of course we can talk about that. We don't want our guest to be bored."

So they talked about politics for an hour while still telling her absolutely nothing useful. Behind their fancy dresses and pretty makeup, they were all well-trained and intelligent women chosen for their ability to handle politics. She told as much to Jaren after dinner.

Clearly, that was not what her Human master was interested in the moment. He crossed his arms. "Did I forget to mention that you shouldn't become part of the gossip yourself?"

"We're Jedi," said Moyek, confused. "And all they do is gossip. Not about anything useful, but still. They're going to talk. I can't stop that."

"You didn't have to give them anything to talk about!

"What do you mean?"

"I swear the entire palace knows you're lesbian now!"

"Oh, you mean that." Moyek thought about it, then shrugged. "At least they know Jedi can have sexual orientations now."

"That's not the point!"

"Actually," said Moyek, "It kind of is."