Barson fic, that picks up from a scene in 19x03 "Contrapasso" (15 minutes in if you want to watch it!). I binge watched SVU recently and I love these characters paired together (I almost can't bring myself to watch it with Stone in, even though I loved Chicago Justice!). This scene made me feel like there was so much left to explore if the show was the type to focus on their relationship as well as the cases. This idea flowed out of my fingers in a few hours, I've tried to BETA it, but I might be a bit blind to my errors now - apologies in advance!

The type highlighted in bold are not my words, they are taken directly from the episode, and belong to the writers of SVU. The rest is me.

Please be kind! I'm not a regular poster, but felt brave! I'm already continuing the next chapter too :-)

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Their Things.

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Olivia sat in her office surrounded by her whole team, she and Barba had been mid conversation when the rest had all piled in to debate the current case.

"The three women got together 20 years after high school, and within a few hours, one of their teachers is found castrated in a hotel room." Olivia said with conviction; she loved when she and Barba sparred, even if they had an audience. "What's the presumed motive?" The DA infront of her questioned back.

"It wasn't for giving them all C's…" Fin mumbled from the back of the room. You could always trust him to be ready with a quip. Olivia brushed over it and replied to Rafael, "Given the nature of the injury, there's a sexual motivation behind this."

"It explains why Karr won't talk." Rollins added.

Barba turned to address Amanda, "I can't prosecute the assault, unless the victim makes an ID." He knew he could take them all on, in fact he secretly liked it. They were a good team, and they challenged each other, it was a special mutual respect that made him feel like part of their unit, even if sometimes he had to be on the other side.

It was Carisi's turn to jump in, "Okay, well how about we charge the three women with obstruction?". Barba wondered for a fleeting moment if Carisi knew his 'hero swooping in to battle' act for Rollins was obvious to everyone. He found Carisi irritating at times, he was sharp but his delivery could seriously lack, Barba knew he meant well though, and frankly he loved to wind him up.

"For asserting their fifth amendment rights?" Barba threw back without hesitation.

"After they lied to us, and after they obfuscated our investigation? Carisi pushed again.

"Ooh, obfuscate. Yummy." Barba followed with a smirk. Yep, it was definitely fun.

"Hold on Rafa.."

Olivia heard his nickname slip from her lips before her brain could engage. Her heart and stomach fluttered in tandem for a thousand reasons, together she and Rafael had built an agreed wall between their work life and their ever more intertwining, but undefined, personal life. She thanked to high heaven for his perfected courtroom poker face being the reason he didn't react, not a muscle flinched in him, and it helped her push on by, continuing to consider out loud Carisi's suggestion with her team.

Barba caught her eye, and in an imperceptible look that the team would never pick up on, they practically had a whole conversation. The last 6 years meant that they had developed an ability to read each other, and in this moment she knew she wouldn't hear the end of this when they escaped 'work world' and it was just them. She silently shelved 'Rafa' for later, and addressed 'Barba'.

"An obstruction charge would certainly leverage some cooperation, if you can't prove the crime, prove the cover up." Olivia finished her sentence as normally as she could summon, praying her team hadn't picked up her accidental disclosure.

Poker face still in place, Rafael stood from his chair and collected his things, parting with "You do have reasonable cause for an arrest, but my advice is get Jason Karr on board, or this train is going nowhere".

Rafael was a little surprised at her trip up, but not really that bothered, it was bound to happen at some point, regardless of the agreement they had. He was now only ever Barba at work, and Rafa outside, to her, and to Noah. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time she called him by his full name. He just hoped the rest of the squad didn't try to use her nickname for him too. It wasn't that he didn't like it, it was more that he wanted to protect their 'thing'. Not even Lucia called him Rafa, he was Rafi to his Mother. These little 'things' defined what had become his bubble with Liv and Noah.

As much as he held her nickname for him as important though, he wasn't above using it to tease her a little. He was a lawyer, and he had leverage! He shot her a text message as he waited for the lift in their office, "So it's Rafa everywhere now huh!? ;-) x". He knew she'd be kicking herself, so he added wink and a kiss to hopefully convey he was joking. He also knew full well that with the words he'd sent, he'd opened himself up to a multitude of potential 'below the belt' responses too, but he secretly hoped it would provoke some more of their daily flirting. As he got out of the lift he still hadn't seen the bubble appear on his phone showing her replying to him, she must still be with her team he thought. He pocketed his phone, and headed back to his office, if he could make a dent in his Everest of paperwork before the team came up with more evidence for the Karr case he just might be able to get out on time tonight.

Back at the precinct, Olivia felt ambushed, how could this be happening. Why couldn't the universe let her have a little settled happiness? It was one thing after the other. Just as she had been vindicated in the investigation into Noah's bruises and the flurry of fear it had sent through her that she might just lose him dissipated, Ellie Porters mother appeared jeopardising her family all over again. Ellie had a living mother? How the hell hadn't this been uncovered before? Olivia felt the room going hazy and the all engulfing presence of fear made her feel sick right through to her toes. She felt herself begin to be enveloped in a cold wash that flooded through her, but she was Lieutenant Olivia Benson, she had a team, a victim, and a case relying on her to steer. She took the deepest of breaths, stared at a point on the ceiling allowing the tears that formed in her eyes to dry, and she pulled herself together. She couldn't deal with this now, she had to focus, crumbling in her office wouldn't help anyone and no one was getting near Noah today.

The day wore on, and finally Evelyn had been compliant with their investigation, so it meant the case had gathered pace. The team had picked up Karr, and Olivia dealt with the backlash from his angry wife; she had almost cracked as she shared that Noah was her reason to carry on, who made things worth it. She desperately wanted the day to end, to get home to her son, Olivia was thankful that this was a day she could quickly escape from. Rollins and Carisi had everything under control, so she ignored the paperwork pile on her desk, her phone, her to do list, grabbed her jacket and made a bee line for the door. Work was done, and now she needed to grant herself some time with her boy, and to battle the meteor that had crashed into her office earlier in the day in the shape of Trevor Langham.

Barba had been a little surprised not to hear back from Olivia at all the rest of the afternoon, even when she was busy she always replied something, sometimes even just an 'X' so he knew she was okay. He dialled Olivia's number and trapped his phone between his ear and shoulder as he packed up this briefcase for the evening. It wasn't as early as he had hoped, he'd definitely missed Noah's bedtime today, but the SVU team had found the leverage they needed for their warrant to arrest Karr in no time at all, he was feeling fairly ready for court in the morning but he still felt like there were details he wanted to hash out with Olivia. He didn't NEED to per se, but it had become another of their 'things', to sit at his or her place, eat take away, and go over their cases.

Never in his career had he conducted work outside of the office with anyone else, but it was a natural development for them, and they spent their evenings together more often than not, work or no work. The phone rang out to her voicemail, Rafael dropped the phone into his hand and stared at the screen, 8.42pm, definitely past Noah's bedtime, and not a Lucy night. Where was she? He felt a pang of worry, something didn't sit right. This wasn't normal; there wasn't a raid, he hadn't heard of them catching a new case, the current one was in hand. He switched the light of his office off, looked for Carmen only to find she was gone for the evening, and headed down the steps to find an Uber to take him home. His other home. Was it his home? To Olivia's.

Thankfully, and by some miracle, the New York city traffic was on his (and the pit of worry in his stomach) side, so he made it to her building in quick time. He stood outside her door and knocked, not too hard to wake up Noah, but enough for her to hear. No answer. The wait was forever, the silence, no shuffle behind the door, was deafening. He nearly put his ear up against her door, but at the last moment stopped himself; that was weird, and if the neighbours saw him, who knows what they'd think. But the pit in his stomach was growing. No answer wasn't right, Noah would be in bed, someone had to be here, even if it wasn't Liv. Rafaels brain suddenly went to the all the worst corners of his mind. He tried her phone again, as he pulled a bunch of keys out his pocket and picked out hers. Olivia had given him a key some time ago, it wasn't just a 'just incase' key, it was a 'you'll beat me home with take away' key, an 'I promised Noah I'd read him a story' key, a 'we're something but I don't know what, but I like you being here and you like being here too' key. The phone rang out again, and he reasoned with himself in the hallway. He would open the door. She gave him a key, it wasn't breaking and entering. If she wasn't there he'd leave, and figure out plan B, probably ring Fin and then maybe search every hospital in Manhattan. If she was there, he'd deal with any backlash there would be, if any, for letting himself in with no plans to be there. What he was sure of, is he couldn't leave without knowing. Flashbacks of Lewis flitted through his mind and suddenly he felt his composure slip. He slipped the key into the lock and opened the door.

The lights were on, he didn't know whether to be a little relieved or let the alarm bells ring louder in his head. He tentatively called out, "Liv?". No answer. He surveyed the room, Lego was strewn across the coffee table. Normal. Noah's dinner plate set on the breakfast bar. Normal. TV off. Not totally abnormal. Then he clocked her jacket from today slung over the chair, he could never keep his eyes off her and he was a details man, he knew that was the one she had had on. The alarm bells got louder, he dropped his briefcase by the door, stepping further into the familiar apartment. "Liv? Are you here?". Nothing again. What the hell was going on? He headed to Noah's room to check on his other favourite human, suddenly not knowing what he wanted to find there. As he rounded the corner, the relief tumbled out of him, there she was sat in Noah's room on the edge of the 'decorative' toy box. "Thank god". But his relief was short lived, Olivia still hadn't looked at him. Her eyes were trained on a peacefully sleeping Noah, her hands grabbed the edge of the box she was sat on as if steadying herself. Instantly Rafael was worried for another reason, he just didn't know what it was.

"Liv?" He said a little louder. This time his voice seemed to penetrate the trance she was in, and she turned to look at him, her eyes were tired and face was drawn. His heart ached for a beat, as he quietly stepped forward and held out his hand to her, she grabbed it, still staring at her son, but a gentle tug and Olivia let him lead her out of the room. Rafael pulled Noah's door almost closed, and lead her wordlessly to the kitchen.

Once Liv had got home earlier that evening, she had let Noah engulf her time, she hadn't wanted anything else to cross her mind. They had played and she let herself get wrapped up in his innocent, carefree imagination. She'd let him eat his favourite dinner, normally saved for a weekend treat, and she'd relished in cuddles in front of the TV a little longer past his bedtime. By the time she tucked him in, it had only taken half a book, a couple of questions about when he'd see Rafa next, and a promise of the park at the weekend before he'd succumbed to sleep. But Olivia hadn't been able to exit the room, she felt rooted to the spot, unable to leave her son. Partly because she knew that the second she left the room she would have to face the events of the day. Partly because here in his room, his soft breathing, amongst his toys and childhood, she felt she could stop time, and not deal with the possibility she could lose her world to a grandmother she knew nothing about before today.

Olivia hadn't heard Rafael enter her apartment, she didn't even know how long she'd been sat there in Noah's room, but he'd appeared in the doorway pulling her from a daze. Only in that moment had she felt she could leave safety of her son's room, knowing the other person that gave her the same safety net was with her. She allowed herself to be guided through to the kitchen, she focused on his strong, warm hand holding hers. It wasn't the first time they'd held hands, but it also wasn't the norm. Some nights watching TV their hands would come silently together in comfort, or if they'd been out for a post work drink his hand would find hers as he lead her out onto the street, and it would stay there as they made their way home. It was another of their undiscussed 'things', it just happened, and neither of them seemed to mind. But tonight, his hand bought her back into the room, a simple hold felt like it was wrapped around her whole body, keeping her safely protected.

Olivia leant with her back against the kitchen counter, Rafael let go of her hand for the first time and rested his palms either side of her on the surface. He was impossibly close to her, on any other day this type of closeness would have had her struggling not to close the gap of just a couple of inches to feel his whole body pressed up against hers, to kiss him in the ways that normally she couldn't keep out of her head, but it was today, and today was not the day she could even contemplate those feelings. She was all consumed with the prospect of losing Noah.

"Liv, talk to me", she heard him say gently, full of care, emotion, and concern, in a way that he only spoke to her. This wasn't work Barba, this was her Rafa. "Ellie Porter's mother is alive, and she wants Noah" she whispered. Olivia heard the breath expel from Rafael as she fell into him. He caught her easily. She noticed he was still in his shoes and coat, and it made him a couple of inches taller than her, she buried her face into his neck breathing in his comforting scent, and held on for dear life.

Rafael didn't know what he expected Olivia to say, but it definitely wasn't that. What. The. Hell. He felt sick. Noah might not officially be his son too, but he was the closest thing to fatherhood Rafael had ever experienced. He hadn't ever thought children were for him, choosing instead to pour himself into his love of his work, but it hadn't taken long for him to fall under Noah's spell, he felt fiercely protective of the boy, and knew without a doubt that he would do anything for him regardless of whatever he and Olivia were or weren't. He really hoped they would be a 'were' someday, but it was a messy situation and it felt like they would be gambling with a lot. Sure, they had definitely fallen into something that was more than best friends, she was 'his person', his confidant, happiness, partner. But what kind of partner wasn't something they had discussed or defined.

There was a lot of flirting that had intensified lately, touches and brushes that sent bolts of electricity through him, moments together that made them feel like they were high school crushes. At the same time, they were adults, they shared so much; they worked in harmony in every way, they battled the tough things together even when they weren't in agreement, they sense checked things, appreciative of each other's intelligence, he trusted her implicitly, and for the first time in his life he had let more of himself be known than he had with anyone else, and he felt like she had been just as honest.

The only thing he hadn't been truly honest with her about, was the gravity of how he felt. That he'd fallen in love with Olivia, and Noah, and could no longer picture his life without them, the people he had come to see as his family. That felt like an awful lot to drop on someone that had been through so much though, and he was more terrified of the repercussions and losing them both if Olivia didn't reciprocate, than he was of keeping his secret in. It was that secret truth that made Rafael feel like whoever this relative of Ellie Porter was, she was trying to take Noah from him too.

This wasn't the time to self indulge though, he went into fight and protect mode, and scooped Liv up into his arms. To hell with feelings and trying to maintain a safe distance so not to cross a line they couldn't come back from, in that moment, none of that mattered, Rafael just needed to be there to hold her together, to be her courage, and selfishly he needed some of the comfort he got from holding her too. His heart was racing, if she said anything he'd say it was the news, but really it was finally being this close to her. His head might be processing the news bomb she had just dropped, but his subconscious heart still soared at having her in his arms. He let his hand reach up into her hair and into the nape of her neck, and his other wrap around her waist pulling her as close to him as he could, they just stood there trying to take strength from each other. Knowing one of them needed to take the next step, he closed his eyes and counted to 10, giving himself 10 more seconds to cuddle her, not knowing if or when he'd ever get the chance again, and 10 more seconds before having to face dissecting what she'd just told him.

As he reached zero (he granted himself that extra second, it was perhaps the slowest countdown he'd ever done) Rafael slowly released her, moving his hands to her shoulders and locking eyes with hers. "Before we do anything, go and change. Get comfortable. Have you eaten?" She shook her head. "Okay," and he pushed her gently in the direction of her room.

Olivia was thankful that he hadn't immediately launched into question time, she needed that moment they'd just had to gather herself. God it felt so good. She had actually managed to switch off and just lose herself in him. She was also thankful that he was taking charge, normally she would have stood toe to toe with him and bantered. But tonight, she was happy for him to make the decisions. She changed into her pajama bottoms and her favourite Harvard jumper. It was too big for her, because it wasn't originally hers, but she'd had it so long and worn it so much that she'd claim squatter's rights over it any day. She scraped her hair back into a ponytail, and glanced at herself in the mirror. There were only two people on the planet that ever saw her like this, and they were both in her apartment right now.

She padded back out towards the living room, and found Rafa sat on the edge of her sofa staring into space. He had shed his coat, tie, and shoes, rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and undone the top couple of buttons. His hair was a little mussed, like he'd been running his fingera through it. Olivia loved this version of Rafa, and loved even more that she knew she was one of very few people who saw him this way. He turned and got up as he heard her enter the room towards him, she was wearing his things. Again. Dios mío, he internally groaned. His clothes definitely looked better on her, he'd long said goodbye to his favourite Harvard jumper too, and regardless of their current predicament, he was a hot blooded male who was incredibly attracted to this woman as it was. His heart fluttered, and he tried his best to quell the heat he felt rising, this was not this time at all.

Over time, some of their belongings had made their way to each other's apartments; clothing, spares, just stuff, and Liv had laid claim to that particular piece after an evening at his where they'd got caught in a freak downpour, and got soaked dashing from the cab to his building. She'd worn it home, and then refused to let it leave the threshold of her place again, arguing that it would be good to keep it in case he ever needed it. He hadn't given a rebuttal, didn't even point out that he had a spare suit and cosy clothes there already, he didn't really mind that she had it. It was their thing.

He held out his hand and pulled her to the sofa into him. 'To hell with feelings' still his motto for the night. She angled her body into him, and his hand found hers holding it to his chest, his other arm around her holding her tight. His thumb absent mindedly stroked a bare patch of skin and her arm curled around his waist. He dropped his chin onto her head, thinking about what to say next, she was intoxicating, and being intertwined like this, despite the circumstances, was something he'd dreamed of, he just needed a few moments to compartmentalise. Then they could figure this out together.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, "I ordered Pizza for us" he murmured into her hair. Rafael shifted from underneath her and went to retrieve his wallet from the kitchen. The door knocked again, "I'll get it" Olivia called back to him. She looked through her peephole, confused, she opened the door, it was a woman who looked a little familiar, and she wasn't holding a pizza.

Sensing a situation, Rafael came to the door behind Olivia, and was met with a woman he'd never seen before. At least, he didn't think so. "Olivia Benson?" the stranger asked. As Olivia answered "Yes", she felt Rafa's hand on the small of her back. "I'm Noah's Grandmother". And like that, their bubble burst. He felt Olivia stiffen, ready to pounce into Mama Bear mode. He knew so little of the details, but the lawyer in him knew if she was making a case for custody rights to Noah, she shouldn't be here.

"I'm not sure this is appropriate" Liv heard Rafael address the woman in front of her, she was grateful for his inherent knowledge of the law because she wasn't sure her mouth could form words. She was shocked at the similarity to Ellie, fuming that she had the audacity to turn up on her doorstep, and paralysed with fear that this was suddenly very real.

"And you are?" Sheila queried him, she clearly had only been informed of Olivia and Noah, there was no reason for him to come up. "A question to ask through your lawyer Ms Porter. I'm sure you came here with good intent, but this is inappropriate for the circumstances and time of night. Perhaps we could continue this during daylight hours". Rafaels words were delivered with careful balance, they weren't unkind or accusatory, his lawyer mask was on. He was in Barba mode. Sheila, understanding his request wasn't unreasonable, curtly nodded her head, and turned to leave.

Rafael reached around Olivia to close the door, and turn the lock. She felt stunned. This situation was snowballing, how had this woman found out where they lived? Suddenly she felt exposed and vulnerable. Lieutenant Benson, Fearless Warrior, was at work and not present in the solace of her apartment right now. She looked at Rafael, her Rafa was back in the place of Barba. He clearly, for once in his life, didn't know what to say either, so he simply leant forward, pulling her to him and resting his forehead on hers. She flitted her eyes closed, giving herself a moment to try and calm, as she felt him move and place a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead. That action alone told her everything that hadn't formed as words, he was here with her not just to fight this battle, but all battles. She wasn't alone. This thing was theirs to conquer together, for what she strongly suspected was the mutual love of Noah. With that, she felt the walls of resolve around her heart begin to fall.