AN: I do not own Naruto.
Not much to really say, one-shot that is my first publication on this site. Review if you have any comments or criticism, they're much appreciated, and please enjoy my work.
Somewhere in the productive city of Konohagakure, within the winding streets and allies that span across it, stood a moderately sized apartment building of a descriptively lower quality. The structure exhaled an air of laborious use and desperately whimpering pleas for upkeep. In the top apartment, that held a surprisingly panorama view of its surroundings from the roof, was a sparsely furnished room that displayed a small kitchenette with a cheap looking table that neighbored a solitary chair. The enclosure was empty of its only occupant, displayed by the lack of light coming from the windows that reflected the breathtakingly intricate colors of the darkening sky overhead.
On the wall, near the entrance door, hung a marked-up calendar and a clock that clicked by each second with a steady rhythmic beat. In the still silence, completely entranced by the constant pulsating, softly thumping footsteps could be heard approaching the door. The entrance was in severe need of a fresh coat of paint, and the jiggling of the used metal doorknob reverberated throughout the home. Entering the door, shutting it with a snap behind them, the person leaned over and switched the solitary light on to illuminate the room, adding the tiny buzzing of electricity to the enclosure.
Naruto looked around, not really observing the familiar hollow dwelling he lived in, while discarding the sandals from his feet. He wandered over to a cabinet and grabbed an inexpensive looking food container for a quick meal. Waiting for the instant ramen to cook thoroughly, he stared off into space while drumming his fingers on the scuffed table top, doing his best not to think about the undesirable topic that held him in a tight, emotionally locking, grip. The incessant noise the clock presented gave him a wonderfully distracting white noise to focus his attention to; and, possibly letting his imagination run loose, almost felt as if his own heart was attempting to match its tempo.
His senses felt numb, not truly viewing his surroundings, not really listening to the minuscule sounds that penetrated the pregnant silence, nor actually tasting the ramen that he was mechanically consuming. Even after all of the contents of the cup had been eaten, Naruto still sat there, taking no notice of his surroundings while in the emotionless trance cloaked him. It was only after the nearby clock chimed the beginning and end of an hour did the youth realize how long he had sat gazing stupidly towards empty air.
The chair scraped against the worn wood floor, lacking any gleam or shine due to such a long stretch of time since it had seen polish, and walked to the other doorway in the room. Light scatter across the floor of the light-less room as Naruto walked in. Inside, it reflected the same worn and sparsely decorated style that the previous room had: only a single bed and a bedside table being the only furnishings. Aside from the other assorted objects, scrolls and weapons were stored as neatly as most teenage boy organized them, there was an alarm clock and a picture frame on the bedside table. Glancing at the picture, Naruto saw that the limited light from outside slanted across the picture, giving it a glare that whited-out Sasuke's face.
Calm, the boy- alone in his one room apartment- began changing to prepare for sleep. He shivered as a chilling draft brushed across his bare skin and quickly clad his form to remove the uncomfortable cold. Dressed in a t-shirt and long sleep pants, he swallows deeply at what feels like a hard task ahead, and walks silently over to the door that contains the thing that he dreads coming face-to-face to. Even he was unsure what was about to happen, uncertain of the current stability of his emotions. Deciding that this was definitely not the time to be such a fearful little kid, Naruto steadied his hand that was reaching to open the door. Taking a deep breath, he fully moved his arm and pulled the door open. Inside the ill lit bathroom, the main inanimate object that was playing off of his anxiety, was shrouded menacingly by the dark. Tempted for a moment, Naruto considered just using the room while it was still painted in blackness, but squeezed his eyes shut when he recognized that the thought was not only idiotic, but juvenile as well.
Naruto felt the cold bathroom floor underneath his bare feet, chilling him slowly from the bottom up. Enclosed by the gloom Naruto made out the fixtures' murky outlines from the darker backdrop. He closed the door behind him and flicked the light switch that turned the bulb on with a flicker and hiss, filling the dark room with a weak but consistent light. Naruto let his blond hair cover his eyes- unobstructed by the headband he usually wore out and about- while he walked to the cool white sink so he wouldn't have to look at the mirror and see IT. The young shinobi placed his palms on the surface, attempting to control his breathing and suddenly pounding heart. His fists clenched as the amount of anger within him sparked from having to hide like a frightened child. It was 'his' fault anyways, it always had been from the beginning, before he even knew it himself.
"It's said that you asked for me to be a hero, you wanted to have me regarded by the whole village as one of its saviors…," the young shinobi whispered quietly to nobody, seemingly spaced out to another section of his internal thoughts. The boy clenched his fists tighter, sharply defining his callused knuckles, as he finally allowed himself to look into the reflective glass. The image he saw sickening him, soaking him in anger and his hatred started to bubbled at the sight held within the mirror. Shivering, Naruto blocks out the sudden cool feeling in the room, the outer temperature not having the strength to cool the blistering emotion that steamed in his feverish core. His reflection was bringing back all of the repressed emotions to surface at full strength and intensity, and the coming of the storm gave a slight electric charge to room.
"Wanna know something else? You left me to fend for myself. To be hated. Forced to be an outcast. Even before your corpse was cold, I had already been labeled as a monster. A demon…" Naruto's whole body clenched as the taunting, all too familiar sensations came flooding back into his vision, tears forming in the corners of his eyes from the painful memories. "It feels pathetic most of the time; to feel sorry for myself." He wipes them away with the back of his hand, trying to swallow back down the emotional gesture that wasn't guided in the same direction of his more explosive feelings. "But it hurts me so much that I was never even given a chance because of you," his harsh whispers continued, his breathing rising and the built up emotional bubble continued to swell to an immense girth.
A moment of peace prevailed, until the bubble exploded in a burst of fiery passionate outrage. "You sacrificed yourself and left me to this personal Hell where only I had to suffer the backlash you caused! You used your own son! Someone who was never given a choice to be the false hero you asked for! That's the definition of the word father to you! Do you hear me you coward! Now I make myself sick every time I look at myself in the mirror, because you follow me; because all I can see is your traitorous face instead of my own and I can't take it anymore!" Naruto smashed his hand into the mirror cracking it and distorting his reflection, staining it red as his fresh wounds oozed trickles of rouge down the fractured plane.
Naruto stood there for several moments as his breath came ragged from his forming fury, observing the liquid that began to splatter on the sink under the mirror, but not realizing that he felt no pain from the slices that the glass had made in his hand. Inside he was divided, part enjoying the pleasurable release of his anger, and the other half unnerved by the powerful words that were spewing out of him at a terrifying rate. He murmured to himself, quiet once more as his exasperation forced him to whisper again, "your flesh, your blood, your legacy," he says still observing his own bloody hand. "I can hardly live with myself because, even if I change my name, or travel to the ends of the Earth, I will always be reminded of the one person in this life who permanently screwed me over!"
He bared his teeth, nearly splitting his bottom lip with the effort, and redrew his hand away from the fractured reflection to hammer it again even harder into the sharp glass creating more cracks and slicing his fist further, still not feeling the painful recoil that was travel from his hand through his arm. Naruto let his anger escalate, frustration ever increasing, as the persistent image in front him as it refused to shatter, despite his desperate attempts to break it. "Why!? Why dammit!? Why did I have to be cursed with your face!? Why do I have to look at you everyday of my life, when I hate you! Are you hearing me you Hokage bastard? I hate you!" The boy hit the mirror repeatedly at the end of each sentence, all blows on the shredding reflector warping the image to higher degree each time until the weakened material finally gave out. Dropping particles of glass made a high gentle tinkle against the sink and tile floor; it also dusted the blonde's hair, creating delicate shining crystals that dazzled like crystal around the room.
Panting, Naruto sunk to his knees, his holding desperately to the sink in an absolute death grip being the only thing that kept him from dropping weakly to the sharp floor around him. Shaking as sobs wracked his body, tears falling slowly-dripping down the sink drain, all of the painful memories revolved in his mind, each internal mental bruise ached and seared when given even the slightest glance. Legs wobbling before finally giving out, Naruto's knees slammed hard on the slated ground, creating more bruises that were not registered. "Why …," he whispered as his hot angry tears mixed in with the blood splatter and glass combination on the tile floor. The anger still flowed through him as the shinobi received an unexpected answer to his explosive wraith. Enveloping him in a comforting energy, the being tried to soothe the hurting boy that was crumpled up on the floor.
Invisible fingertips brushed across his forehead, pushing the hair out of Naruto's eyes, which were unfocused and filled with pain. The young shinobi felt the strange force try carefully to sit him up, but he resisted the foreign touch that was attempting to help him. After taking a bit steadier grip, the being managed to slowly bring the crying young man into a more comfortable position, an arm around the shoulder being a stable support for the unbalanced blond. Said youth fel the peaceful presence wash over his pain wracked form in a radiating warmth.
Naruto did his best to push away, his hands spearing out into empty space beside him. He let out a gasp of surprise when he felt no contact between his palms and the uninvited guest. His eyes widened in shock as Naruto glanced over at the shimmering outline before him. Shock quickly diverted back to anger yet again as Naruto forcefully tried to stand and move away from the translucent apparition; he quickly learned that such an action would not be successful so easily.
"Get away from me." It was a blunt statement, filled with many more emotions behind it than he was willing to show. The joy of seeing his savior an father was eclipsed by all other more destructive feelings. The quiet dominated again, the force seeking the right words to say, while only Naruto's steep breath could be heard. Finally, there was a verbal reply.
"Do you truly despise me that much?" The question held no hint of demand, simply an attempt to disable the calcified awkward silence that hung thickly in the air.
Naruto's response was surprisingly calmer compared to his previous words, "Do you have any idea how much pain you've put me through? I'd like you to see what it felt like. To feel the angry glares in your direction while having no idea why so much hatred was heaped on you."
"I never expected the village to treat you as they did; you have to imagine how much I regret that you had to suffer." The man's reply was honest, a father carefully stepping to find the path that would start the healing of his son's deep wounds.
"I'm not that selfish, even though a lot of people think so, I understand why you did it," he began, "but that doesn't change anything now does it? Nothing you say will take it back, any of it. Besides," he drifted off, "you wouldn't take it back anyways."
His father sighed, "You're right on that account, there isn't anything I can do to change the past. But I can make it easier to handle."
Naruto gave out a cold laugh, "I find that hard to believe. What, do you have some magical power that can take away years of pain with a snap of your fingers?"
"No, nothing that absurd. I... I owe you an apology Naruto." His voice was choked with sorrow. He heard Naruto cut off what was most likely a hurtful reply. "I know that I am in debt to give you so much more than that for all of your pain, but it is all I can give." The Yondaime cleared his throat.
"I'm sorry. Sorry that the beginning of your life was so filled with negative power. That I had to physically leave your life forever when you were so young. Sorry that I never could be a father." He hugged Naruto awkwardly towards his semi-solid form. "I'll take your anger and your frustration; but I regret that pain can not be transferred so easily. But never forget, that I could never be prouder of my only son. The mistakes that I made while I still walked upon this ground are lessons that you have learned and learned well. Most of all, though you were raised in such acidic anger and toxic hatred, none of it has been able to permanently taint you." Naruto saw tears sparkling to the floor that were not his own.
"But... I'm really not that good. I'm actuallly kinda an idiot alot of the time."
A gentle hand that lifted his face under the chin managed to silence his personal criticism. "Great shinobi are not born, they are made. I have faith in you Naruto, I believe that you will be something great one day. My only advice is that let no one else tell you otherwise. I love you son, I always have."
The young blond felt his tears fall occupying a different mixture of feeling; he embraced the near invisible man more warmly, ignoring the strange tingling feeling that was felt at the contact. Naruto was uncertain of how long he had sat with his father on the ground, but eventually he knew that their time together was nearly over.
"It's time for me to go," reluctantly stated to the child. Naruto looked up where he knew that the same eyes he had would be gleaming, and nodded acknolwedgingly. Slowly starting to lean away and support himself, the near invisible energy faded away.
For the first time, the shinobi looked around in annoyance at the now present mess that had accumulated on the floor and- starting to recognize when his hand could feel pain again- at the dried blood that was smeared all over him. Gingerly, he brushed any of the remaining mirror particles from him. Putting both palms on the floor and standing up, doing so delicately on his right appendage, he carefully returned to the sink to tend to the fresh gashes.
The wounds weren't deep, and almost healed anyway, but it felt better to have the unsavory feeling of dried and coagulated blood washed away from his skin. It was while watching the drain swirl the red water solution that a thought occurred to Naruto. He glanced up towards the light over the sink and swallowed hard. His senses searched around, but he didn't feel the same comforting energy that had previously been there. Determined to try though, Naruto began to speak.
"I don't know if you can hear me, wherever it is you went, but I just wanted you to know something. That I forgave you long ago, and I swear, I will do everything to make you proud." Though none were there to see it, a persistent sparkle could be seen returning to the shinobi's eyes.
At first, Naruto felt disappointment creeping over him as he felt that his words fell on deaf ears. Then a slight breeze flowed in the windowless room, and the blond swore he felt his hair being ruffled from unseen fingers, and a light laugh of a father listening to his son's words. Though there were no verbal words spoken, Naruto knew that his promise and forgiveness had been heard.