(Disclaimer: I own nothing)
(I don't write much, and I would love reviews. I will write a chapter two, but only if someone wants me too. )
The night was hazy, dark blue, and an hour too early. The time was only 6:30. The year is still 2013.
Dean came back to bunker from the closest gas station, plastic bags hanging in pairs on each arm. Food, soap, and toilet paper. Just a quick trip, mostly to clear his mind.
"Sam?" He called out as he looked around fluidly. "You here?"
Kevin appeared out of nowhere, looking ragged. "He went out to gamble like an hour ago."
"Oh," Dean shifted the bags so he was holding them with one hand and took a few lengthy strides to the kitchen. "Help me put these away."
Kevin nodded as the hunter started throwing a few frozen burritos into the freezer. He help him organize the cheap microwavable foods on the nearly empty shelves.
"Should I go put all of this in the bathroom?" He asked, holding two large packs of toilet paper.
"Just put one, I'll take care of the other one."
Kevin just shrugged. Sometimes the hunters did strange things, but he know they had their reasons. If Dean needed lots of toilet paper, then that was his problem.
Sam came back a few hours later, with quite a bit of money he hustled fair and square. He put it in the jar with the rest of their money, that found it's use in gas, food, and bizarre ritualistic ingredients.
"Dean!" He called. His brother came out of his room.
"Hey, how'd it go?"
"Pretty great," Sam answered casually. "Did you buy that map I asked you to buy?"
Dean did buy the map, he made sure to. Maybe if he did exactly what his brother asked, then Sam would get the hint that forgetting pie was very rude. He grabbed a bag off the counter.
"I left it...I left it in here," he rummaged for just a moment before unearthing a bag of jerky. "Or at least...I thought I did."
Sam gave him a bitchface.
"I didn't forget it! I think I...maybe Kevin took it or-"
He then remembered the second bag of toilet paper. The map must still be in that bag, crammed into the bottom.
"Hold on one moment, I know where it is," he said, bolting backwards. Sam followed.
Dean unlocked a room adjacent to his, which had been an empty spare bedroom, sans the bed, when they arrived. The oldest hunter had been using it for something else.
"What the-?" Sam said as they went in. "Dean what are you doing in here?"
Dean didn't answer, he just knelt down to examine the bag, which was place haphazardly next to even more toilet paper. The right side of the room had seven other packs of toilet paper, stacked evenly. There was evidence of a developing structure.
"Why the hell is all this toilet paper in here?" Sam asked, laughing a little. Maybe his brother should stay off the tacos.
Dean threw his brother the map he had just found and thought on his answer for just a moment.
"I'm...starting an emergency room," he said. "You know, in case the worst happens, we're prepared."
"Okay that makes sense but...toilet paper? If there is an emergency, I'm not eating toilet paper," he quipped.
"Yeah I know, shut up," Dean put the newest pack in its place on the structure. "I'll get food. I just-"
He sighed. Lately he'd been feeling anxious and uneasy, even when he didn't have to be. Yet he felt himself slightly at peace when he made the decision to turn the unneeded room into something useful. Sam was possessed and Cas was on his own and angels were fallen, but at least Dean had his store room.
"I'm just thinking ahead. We don't want to run out of toilet paper. I mean think about it."
"I think you're losing it Dean, but if you feel the need to hoard toilet paper, do what you want."
Dean squirmed at his brother's choice of words. He hadn't really remembered Chuck giving him that advice until then, and realized his subconscious reasoning for hoarding more toilet paper than food. He was not going to tell Sam that.
In the dark that night, as the oldest Winchester slept almost soundly, he began to dream of running.
WATCH OUT! Said a voice that sounded like his father. CROATES!
Dean ran from the invisible enemy, twitching in his sleep. He ran wildly, and looked behind to see nothing but void. When he looked forward again he ran into Cas, disjointed and fuzzing in the blackening fog.
"Dean!" Yelled Dream Cas. He grabbed his arms and constrained him, face just an inch away. His hair was greasy and unwashed, to match his clothes. His beard was long and his eyes were red.
"Our fearless leader," he muttered.
"Cas, let me go!"
Cas looked sinister, but scared all the same as begun to talk ominously, "No matter what details...you alter..."
Dean struggled but the angel grabbed his face to steady him. The sound of croates grew louder.
"You will always...end up..."
Cas disappeared and it was silent, nothing but black space. In the echoed distance, he heard the voice of his brother. Except it didn't sound like his brother.
"Here..."
Dean woke up and found his heart buzzing and his head spinning, like he had been hit by a truck.
"Just a dream..." He told himself. "Go back to sleep."
He never did fall asleep, because he couldn't fight the feeling he had forgotten about something. That nagging sensation you get when you wonder if the oven is one. Hopefully he wouldn't wake up to a fire.
It was normal in the next few days, his dread dissipating with the time. He received a phone call.
"Hello?" He answered, not recognizing the number.
"Hello Dean."
His heart skipped a beat, "Cas. What is it? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he said gruffly. "But I have good news and bad news."
Dean groaned, "Let me hear it."
Cas, who was on a bus at the moment, looked warily around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. The bus goers sat nowhere near him.
"Well first off, they promoted and transferred me. I'll be working about twenty minutes away from the bunker."
Dean felt something, probably relief. After his visit with Cas he had been worried to the point of illness. If Cas was killed, how would he know? Cas being closer meant he could check up regularly, and have Ezekiel at a safe distance. Human or not, he needed Cas.
"That's...great Cas."
"There is a shelter nearby as well, so I will have a place to sleep. I know you don't want me to close, but I figured..."
Dean stomach flooded with guilt, "Cas, you know that's not..." He sighed heavily, not knowing what to say. "That's good Cas, I'm glad you're closer. What's the bad news?"
Cas was holding a newspaper, "Have you been reading the news?"
"Why?"
"Because there has been numerous reports of bizarre disappearances and gang related killings. And it doesn't look like the typical stuff."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well...they found one man yesterday. He had bled to death...and his eyes were black."
Dean remember his dream and had to rub his head, "That sounds like..."
"I know what it sounds like," he said.
"Well...what should we do?"
He was answer with an unknowing sigh. The former angel was thinking about something else. If Dean wasn't going to ask, Cas figured it was up to him, "I'm going to arrive in about an hour. Can I see you?"
He asked him rather quietly, because it wasn't completely about what he found. He was just so lonely.
Dean almost said no, but what would the harm be, really? He could drive out (maybe on Dorothy's motorcycle, that would be sweet) and just talk to him. After all, this was important. Just for a few hours, they could grab a bite to eat. He was almost excited actually.
"Yeah, I'll drive to you. Been wanting to take that motorcycle for a spin. Just tell me where it is."
"Actually," Cas said. "The next bus stop is a ten minute walk from your bunker. If it's okay with you I thought...I just need to talk to you for a moment."
Dean had to think for a second.
"Hold on for one moment, 'kay buddy?"
Cas was quiet as he was put on silent.
"SAM!"
The younger brother peeked out from the upstairs. His hair was wet and he had a book under his arm.
"What Dean?" He asked. "Who were you talking to?"
"Cas," he said. Now he needed to find a way to speak with Zeke. His other ways were starting to make his brother suspicious. "He...he said he wanted to stop by, just to visit for a moment."
Sam smiled, "Really? That's great Dean."
He twiddled the phone in his hand, "So that's um... That's okay with you right? It won't be more than half an hour. He may have found a case for us."
"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" He asked. Then Zeke showed up with a flash of blue. "I've talk to you about this Dean."
"I know," he sighed. Ezekiel began to walk towards the stairs before Dean shouted. "No, don't move. Stay exactly where Sam was."
Zeke moved back, "My apologies, I forget. I do not want Castiel here."
"Half an hour Zeke, that is all I want. I'm not asking that much," he held the phone to his chest. "I actually need to talk with him about something...important."
Zeke looked at Dean differently then, for only a moment. He was far enough a way, he could have just been thinking intensely. Yet Dean swears he was glaring.
"Twenty minutes."
Dean let out a sigh of relief, "Awesome. I promise you won't be in danger."
Zeke just smiled vaguely and disappeared back into his tall vessel. Sam shook his head.
"Whoa... Did it just get cold?"
Dean coughed, "Yeah it does feel a bit chilly. Um...what did you ask again?"
"I just asked you why I would care about Cas stopping by. I want him to stop by."
"Right yeah... No reason, kind of a stupid question."
Sam shrugged and turned back. Dean touched his head, uneasy and unable to shake the feeling he had done something horrible.
Cas arrived, heart pounding, at the door of the bunker. His heart pounded a lot, and he never tried to dwell on the reason. It sometimes happened when he spoke to Dean. It sometimes happened when he spoke to women.
The bunker caused him to feel at ease but also a little frightened. The last time he had been there, he felt like eyes were burning into him. When he entered this time, the feeling was still there, but was masked by the fuzzy happiness that Dean brought.
"Hey Cas, long time no see," he said, and then he hugged him. Just a quick hug, complete with a manly pat on the back. Cas had seen male friends do it all the time, but he still did not expect it. Dean smelled like coffee and gasoline, and he wished they could have hugged longer. "I would have picked you up."
"I wanted to walk," he told him. "It is good to see you."
They looked at each other, just for a second. Dean cleared his throat, "Yeah, you too. Let's go talk."
They headed to the sitting room, and sat on the couch. The hunter then felt guilty as his friend leaned into the pillows like they were heaven on earth. He had been sleeping on a gas station floor in a sleeping bag for weeks.
"So, tell me what you found," Dean asked. He noticed Cas's hair was more flat on his face and his stubble was more profound. It reminded him of something.
"There has been at least three brutal killings that I found that happen in highly populated places. They were all killed by groups of people, and I didn't see any kind of relation."
Dean nodded, "And they found a dead guys with black eyes?"
Cas nodded. He touched his hair habitually, knowing he needed a shower, "You don't think it's...you know?"
"Small outbreaks of Croatoan?" Dean answered. "We better damn well hope not."
Cas pull a newspaper crumpled up in his coat pocket, "Here look. The latest happened in Detroit last week."
"What!?" He said, loudly and harshly, and Cas furrowed his brows. "Did you say Detroit?"
"Yes Dean. What's wrong?" Cas shifted his position, making his pocket rattle.
You will alway end up...here.
"It's just...do you remember...wait what's in your pocket?"
Cas fiddled around and pulled on a small plastic bottle of Tylenol, "I've been getting headaches. A man told me this would work."
"Give me that!" Dean asked, but he didn't give Cas a chance and snatched it. "You shouldn't be taking medication. You never take medication."
Cas was lost, "Its okay Dean, it's not dangerous. Are you okay? Am I missing something?"
Dean took a deep breath, and closed his hand around the bottle. He put it in his friend's hand, but held it firmly and looked him in the eye.
"You need to promise me to make this your limit Cas. This won't hurt you, but I don't want it to stop working and... Just promise me you won't go looking for an escape. Promise me you won't ever change."
The human removed his hand from Dean's and put the medicine in his pocket, "I don't know what you mean?"
"Did I ever tell you what happened when Zach took me into the future?" He asked. The memory was returning slowly, and it was much darker then he realized.
"Not really," he said. "Don't you think we should be worrying about the croates?"
"Yes but..." He stood up and began to pace. "Something is wrong Cas. Zach brought me five years into the future...nearly five years ago. That's almost now."
Cas stood up too, "Dean, that wasn't real. Everything that could have happened...we changed. We stopped it"
No matter what details you alter...
"Maybe you're right...but..." He turned around to look Cas in the eye. "If these are croates then...that means we have a problem. Everything that was going to happen...it seems to be coming together."
"You're overreacting," said Cas. "The angels are our problem right now. Not to mention Lucifer is locked up, and I don't think he is getting out anytime soon."
Dean twitched for some reason.
"Oh and... I promise."
"What?"
"I promise never to change."
Dean let out a small laugh, and patted Cas's shoulder, "Thanks. Maybe I am overreacting. Hold on, I need a beer."
He headed to the kitchen, and Cas hollered at him, "Can I have one?"
"You can have soda!"
Cas didn't complain. Dean came back and handed him a Coke as he twisted off his bottle cap. They both relaxed their shoulders.
"If you fixed the outbreak before, we can stopped it early," Cas reassured him. "There isn't going to be another apocalypse."
"Maybe a whole mess of angel death though," he said as took a swig. "I don't really know what I was so worked up about anyway."
"I don't know either," he replied. "I doubt Sam has it in him to say yes again anyway."
Cas was trying at a joke but the Winchester dropped his bottle, shattering it. Sam wouldn't say yes, never again. Unless he was tricked.
"What have I done!?" He put his hands in his hair. "Son of a bitch!"
"Dean...what's wrong? What did you do?"
He grabbed Cas shoulders tightly and made committed eye contact, "Could you recognize an angel if you saw their true form, even if it was for half a second?"
"What are you- yes I can," he said quite fast. It was probably all he could do. "Why Dean? What aren't you telling me?"
Sam came into to the room then.
"I heard glass breaking, are you-oh Cas is here? What are you guys doing?"
Dean turned from Cas to look at his brother. He had to be sure, before he did what he was about do. Sam looked like Sam, but Dean was sure anyway.
"I'm going to tell you something Sam, and you're going to hate me, but you are going to need to do exactly what I say, okay?"
Sam opened his mouth and then closed it.
"Okay Sam!"
"Yeah Dean, what's going on?"
Cas touched his shoulder, "What are you doing?"
No matter what details you alter...
The voice was louder, and so was Dean, "You're being possessed. By an angel named Ezekiel."
"I'm...WHAT!?"
Cas backed up, "Ezekiel? Dean why didn't you tell me this?"
Dean ignored him, "Listen to me Sam, I'll explain everything later. Right now, I need you to expel him. He can't stay if you expel him right now, you need to listen to me!"
"How did I get possessed Dean? What did you do!?" he yelled, advancing.
But Dean knew what was about to happen. He pulled Cas to his side.
"I made a mistake. Cas, I need you to watch."
"Watch what?" He asked, but Ezekiel took over at the exact moment, this time the blue light a bit brighter, and almost angrier. It flashed in Cas's eyes, burned into his cornea, and he saw the last thing he wanted to see.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING DEAN?" Asked Ezekiel, voice changed and booming. "If I leave your brother, he will die!"
Cas covered his mouthed and stumbled backwards, horrified.
"Dean that is not Ezekiel!"
Dean knew, "SAM! Expel him! Do it NOW!"
The angel, who was not Zeke after all, raised his arm threateningly. Sam got there first, and his head turned back and blue fluorescence bled through the air, straight to the ceiling. The intense liquid smoke caused Dean to wrap his arm around his eyes, while Cas watched trembling.
All at once, the blue and white cloud seemed to dissolve into the walls. Sam let out a small shout, and collapsed on the ground, unconscious.
"Sam!" Yelled his brother as he lunged forward. He touched his face and put his fingers to his pulse.
"He's alive!" he exclaimed, with a smile and thin sob. "And his breathing is even, he's only out cold. He's okay,"
Dean put his hand to his mouth and the sobs started more thickly, "Cas I've done a horrible thing. How could I have been so su-stupid?"
He punched the ground as a shaking Castiel knelt next to him, placing his arm around his back, "Please don't cry. You were blinded by what you thought was right. You stopped seeing the logic. You should have told me what you had done Dean."
"It was him wasn't it?" He asked desperately, hand stuck on his brothers moving chest. "That was Lucifer."
"Yes," he whispered.
And Dean cried. Cas had never felt so hopeless as heard the sobs and felt his friends body convulse miserably. Dean Winchester was out of character, and poor Castiel didn't know what to do.
"I-I need to stop," he said, trying to catch his breath and wipe his tears. "I just-I could have killed him C-Cas. I've done this so many time before, why can't I ever just protect him. I promised...I promised I would protect him."
"Don't cry Dean," Cas pleaded. "I don't think I've ever seen you cry like this."
"I got Sam possessed by the DEVIL!" He said desperately, burying his face. "I want this to stop. All of it. I'm so tired Cas, so sick of being responsible. I want it to stop."
Cas still felt afraid at seeing his brother for the first time in years, the image lingering like an injury, but he had watched humanity enough to know what to do next. He pulled Dean in to rest on his shoulder. The hunter held him back.
"Sam is fine Dean," he whispered. "At least you stopped it before it was too late."
"But what if I didn't?" He told his friend quietly as they embraced. "He told me...when it was 2014...Sam would be his vessel, and I would be killed. That's two months from now. He could come back and-"
They were both quiet, because who knew what to say anymore. Dean buried his face in Cas's neck, and stayed there. If he was going to lose his mind, he was at least going to have Cas.
"We can figure it out in the morning," The fallen angel muttered finally. "Sam seems like he'll wake up. Lucifer...was lying before, or at least that's how it seems."
Dean moved away but let his friend's arm stay draped over his back, "I don't know how we're going to get out of this one Cas. Sam may be alive, but that doesn't mean he's going to be fine. Not to mention, Satan is back and we don't have a damn clue how that happened. I really fucked up this time."
He cleared his throat, "I know the feeling. It's my fault the angels fell, and it was me that released the leviathans. This situation is my fault too."
Dean wished he would have noticed the extent of his angelic friend's guilt. He blamed him more than he deserved, and they were more alike then he realized.
"You were trying to do what was right..." He offered, quietly.
"So were you," he rejoined. "Lucifer may have tricked you, but I believe he did heal Sam. You did save your brother, just in time."
There was still so much to worry about. Angels were mutilating human vessels, demons were running rampant, and the devil had been freed from his cage. Not to mention the Croatoan outbreaks. He couldn't do it all by himself.
"Dean, you don't have to do this on your own," Cas seemed to read his mind. "I wish you would let me help you."
He was confused, "Who said I won't let you help? I need you...to help."
And then Cas took a labored breath, because he had been holding in his next sentence, "You told me I couldn't stay. You told me to leave."
After a moment, Cas staring at the side of his malcontented face, Dean smiled.
"I want you to stay Cas. Do you know why I kicked you out?"
He shook his head.
"Because 'Zeke' threatened to leave Sam if you stayed. He thought you were a danger to him. I guess you can stay now, if you want. I'm actually starting to miss you."
"Thank you Dean."
Dean checked his brother one more time, before the they silently decided to carry him to his bed. Despite the combined strength of the two men, carrying him was not very easy. But they eventually did it, and Sam Winchester would wake up very confused and fully clothed come the next morning. But he would be alive.
"What should we do Cas?" The oldest brother asked, as they walked out together. "I don't even know where to start."
"You need to do me a favor Dean," said the human. Dean nodded. "You need to promise not to think about it until tomorrow morning."
"What?"
"We will investigate the outbreaks tomorrow, and you can talk to your brother. But right now, I need you to promise me not to think about it."
"Why?"
Cas grabbed his face with both hands to steady him, just like what had been done to him earlier. He needed to look him directly in the eye, if that's what it took to get the point across.
"Because, Dean, I want you to just give yourself a few hours to not worry. You are going to drive yourself crazy. Now I made you a promise. It's your turn now."
Cas had such blue eyes, noticeable even in the bunker's dim ambience. How was he going to not worry, at a time like this? Yet his heart rate felt steadier with the large warm hands on his face and he lightly put his own hand on one of them, making Cas lighten his stance. His blue eyes stayed locked on Dean's.
"I promise," he whispered. "I won't worry until morning."
"Okay," he whispered back.
Somewhere out there, the devil was crawling like smoke through the atmosphere, hunting for a vessel with his limited omniscience. It shouldn't have been so easy for Sam to expel him, it wasn't supposed to end so quickly. Now they knew he was here. Now he was in real danger. His brothers and sisters might notice him.
The devil would find Abbadon, who had been the one to free him, the one that convinced him to trick the Winchesters. There had to be another worthy vessel, floating around in the big bad world. This time, he wouldn't let them get the better of him. This time, he wouldn't be made a fool of.
But back at the bunker, there was no imminent danger, and Dean Winchester had been granted mere hours of calm. He stood there, holding the hand of the ragged man that touch his face. The man that had dragged him out of hell, all those years ago.
Maybe we will make it through this, he thought. Stop the outbreak, banish the devil, show the angels who's really in charge. He wanted to run strategies through his mind, but wasn't going to break his promise.
"I'm sorry Cas," he said. "I'm sorry I kicked you out."
"Dean, don't worry about it..."
"I know but it's..."
He couldn't finish his sentence, because the look on Cas's face killing him. Someone was so genuinely conserned about him, genuinely worried. His words caught in his throat, and he was grateful. Grateful for their bond not leaving with Castiel's grace.
Cas was content, and flooded with emotion. All the people that he'd met, all the lives he had come across could never compare to Dean Winchester. In that moment, Cas didn't care about his grace. All he needed was to stay, right here, and be human with the human he had saved. The human that had saved him.
"Cas... I need to say something to you," Dean said in a hushed tone. "But I'm...not sure what it is..."
"Dean..." Cas said his name softly. They looked upon the other in tense fluttering silence, unsure why their hearts were skipping every other beat. Something might have happened if Kevin hadn't unlocked the door.
The moved away from each other quickly, both coughing awkwardly. Kevin opened the door.
"Is anyone here? Oh," he stopped short of the stairs. "Castiel? When did you get here?"
"Not long ago," he answered, giving Dean a quick glance. "I might be staying this time."
"That's fantastic!"
Dean and Kevin both smiled, and the Winchester scratched his head nervously.
"Where's Sam?"
Dean knew this was coming and he leaned in to Cas to say something quickly, "I know I promised not to worry, but please let me explain what happened to Kevin. I'm not keeping anything from anyone anymore."
Cas nodded and enforce some human willpower not to grab Dean's hand.
"What's wrong?" Asked the prophet.
Dean looked down, "Um, a situation has arisen, and it's not very pretty. Sam is fine, but I need to explain something to you."
"I don't like the sound of that," he said.
"Just come sit in the dining room. It won't take long."
Kevin frowned like a teenage in trouble. Dean really hoped that one day Kevin could get out of this life. He went to the dining room.
Before the two older men followed, Cas did grab Dean's hand.
"Wait."
"Yeah..."
"Can I ask for one more promise?"
Dean turn toward Cas, "Anything buddy."
"There is a lot of work to do...and I want to help."
"Of course."
"And I need you to promise I can stay here. No matter what happens. Please, that's all I want."
Dean heard it all in his voice, all that Castiel wanted to say. He found himself wishing Kevin was gone.
"I promise."
They smiled at each other, and went to talk to talk to Kevin about Lucifer. Cas almost forget to let Dean's hand go.