My Life as a Gatcha Gamer on Earth Bet

by duskrider

Ever wake up in a strange place without pants. No this is not a smut fic or a lemon. So heads out of gutter. Now I am in a world not my own and soon learned it was overrun by Capes. Super beings able to do amazing and horrific things. The only power I have is being a Gatcha based Gamer with the ability to summon Servant. NOT FATE but OC Servants based on various media.

1. Chapter 1 Edited

Chapters of My Life as a Gatcha Gamer on Earth Bet

Note: OK I have gotten back into Fanfic and while I am working on various rewrites in One Shot form of old series I wanted to give this a shot. I plan to post and update these stories monthly. Not planning on rewriting all the stories but on the last Sunday (possibly Monday) of the month the new Updates will be posted.

Disclaimer: I do not own Worm or any other media that are mentioned here. Any similarities between this OC (possibly multiple) and real or fictional people is purely coincidental.

Dusk: OK we are currently rewiring the first couple chapters. By the way unless it says rewrite than there is no change so far.

Chapter 1 – The Starting Point

You know that feeling that something is just not right. Like something bad has happened and you feel a chill down your spine like someone walked over your grave.

Now multiply that feeling by 10 and the feeling of frostbite instead and you know how I felt when I woke up after dying.

Yes, I died get over it.

Yes, I fucking died, and I got over it.

Fuck you I am not hysterical! I am not in shock and I am certainly not batshit crazy!

Well the last one is a maybe, but I know what happened!

I died the way I wanted to in the arms of the people I love from old age drifting off into the next life.

At least that is what I want to say and that is how this story is going down in my book.

There will be no mention of how I really died and anyone who insist it was painful, lonely, scary and that I was crying like a little bitch under a couple of feet of snow is a dirty liar.

*Flashback*

"S-so c-cold!" Surrounded by darkness with no way out.

"Maybe I should sing to lift my spirits?"

"All we want to do is eat your brain! We're not unreasonable no one's going to eat your eyes!~" (1)

*Fast forward*

"Mr. Sum came out and he smiled at me, said it's gonna be a good one just wait and see!~" (2)

*Fast forward*

"Darkwing Duck! Let's get Dangerous!~" (3)

*Fast forward*

"I heard there was a secret chord that David play and it please the (4) *cough**cough! * Maybe this was a bad idea…" *Blugd*

*Flashback*

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Don't like it than write your own origin story.

Now as I looked around, I did the important stuff first I checked if I had my limbs and appendages. Hands and fingers check, toes and feet check, arms check, shins and upper legs check. And it is easy to see I am still a guy so check. Wait where are my clothing! No that can wait till after I check for the rest.

Recalling when I died, I was wearing winter gear-I mean a nice casual totally not winter themed outfit… Shut up.

I would have liked to check my liver and kidney since I woke up in an alleyway covered with gang tags but that can wait till, I am somewhere safe. That and the lack of scaring freaks me out more than I want to admit.

Hell, the lack of calluses makes this far more painful than it should be for my feet.

And this also means my hands are baby smooth! For a guy this shows I never worked a day in my life which is bullshit! I was a Scout! I may not remember what Rank or if I went back to scouting but I remember that clearly.

Wait a minute have I mentioned I am missing my clothing. Yep so awake in an alley with no clothing or knowledge how I got here I fear for my kidneys.

Now I want to point out I am not actually sure I'm alive, so I didn't ask questions. For all I know this was like that show about the Good Place but since I see nothing but trash, blood stain, rats (note to self-check the supply of food for this world and hope I didn't end up needing to hunt down the rats for meat later than again rat burgers…), and a brunette in an all-black costume on the roof to my left.

Yeah this is totally the bad place if this was any place. Than again form what I remember of that show the Good Place was impossible for anyone to get into due to all choices having real negative point values. Hell, I think one of them was if you like a burger from a certain place it means that you hate gay people.

Which makes no sense if the person is totally unaware of the wrong doing the company hides. Than again I willingly eat the pink slime they make into burgers at some places…Wait a second, I look back up.

A brunette in all black on the roof! Looking down and then back up again I take note of the girl on the roof maybe a woman on the roof. She is rather tall has long brunette hair and that is all I can tell other than being female, though I'm guessing it more due to the hair than anything else, no guy really cares about hair that much other than the occasional narcissist that they would make a hole in the back of the helmet to let it flow free.

Than again I used to love having my hair long but not the extent I would give up hats. Wait I remember this stuff, yet I can't remember my own name. This is fucked up need to focus on something else.

While I cannot tell what it is made of it looks as I was never really into armored clothing, I can tell it looks well made.

From the look of her(?) I would say she was either a caped avenger (minus the cape which is a good choice "NO CAPES!" (5) is shouted into my mental ears) or a villain. Leaning towards either stealth type hero or thief then again with the outfit could be cosplay, can't claim to know all media.

Hell, for all I know she is part of a porno being shoot. Seen weirder shit in life when I lived in Vegas. Or was it Albuquerque I'm thinking of? Great now I cannot recall where I lived either fan-fucking-tastic! I can't even remember if it was not Whoville I lived in! No focus! Who is the person!

No, I really cannot tell if they are male or female form this distance in the dark though I do not think they are looking at me.

Which to be frank is rather foolish a person must always be aware of what is around them which is why I looked around in the first place. Then again this could just be a cosplayer, possibly a drunk one at that. Or high with how (s)he is looking into the distance.

It was that moment I knew where I was.

I was in a goddamn fanfic about superheroes or Cleveland near the entertainment district.

No offense but the only examples of the Magical Land of Cleve I have seen have been in the various media such as Howard the Duck Movie and Fairly Odd Parents. Though part of me really hopes that this is not Cleveland since looking at myself I am buck as nude, 14 years old again (like the fucking movie!) and male. If this is not the set up for me dying as a side character I don't know what else is.

Just hope it's a quick death like a bullet to the head and not a long one that would be troublesome.

Or worse this is the set up for the bottom fling on the side character of a Yaoi fic! I am not the bottom for anyone, much less the homewrecker of a happy relationship because someone wants my ass damn it!

Oh, and knowing my luck I would be the target of the Yandere lover to take out for their love's sake.

I may not remember much but I know that my romance department was batting a zero.

Need to search for the nearest set of clothing before it becomes a case of lust at first sight. What love at first sight? What you trying to pull here there is no such thing as love first sight. Lust sure, dislike sure, attraction sure but love! Love takes more time than that. And I'm certainly not easy enough to give out on the first date.

Wait Superhero(?) means they had to ditch their clothing nearby hopefully they have pants.

What don't give me that look.

I'm a pale white guy with black hair and just lost my fantastic beard of course I'm taking any clothing I can find.

If they didn't want me to than pull Spiderman and Web them out of sight, but you pull a Superman in Phone Booth than expect someone to grab your pants if for nothing else than for money for something nice and hot to drink.

Now that I think of it why did- no! I'm not going into the rabbit hole. Remember what ever my name is don't think of Super Stripers.

Now time to use the time spent as a kid obsessed with TV and dumpster dive with luck I can-

*BUZZ* wait were those pants there a second ago. Ok don't question it even the bad place doesn't want to see my pale ass nude...Not sure what this would mean for my self-image, but I'll get therapy later right after clothes, food, shelter, money, figuring out where I am, investing in some bug spray. What is with all these flies! It's not even that bad of an alley. Seen worse back in college. And you know what I'll write a list later for now pants.

Looking them over and giving them a sniff, I can tell these are brand new sweatpants. Which is easy to tell since they still have a set of tags. Black sweatpants wearing 14-year-old boy in an alley. Why does this feel like the start a horror story? Or worse a porno.

Anyway, putting the pants on I notice that girl(?) dressed in black is gone. Good while I didn't bring it up, I am not in any way a fan of people taking a peak without my say so. Boundaries exist for a reason!

Since I never saw them look at me, so I guess I was ok. Though it is weird the flies left. Not looking the gift horse in the mouth though so here we are one leg at a time.

Any way let's see in an alley, lady in black gone yep going with female here till I am proven otherwise. I have pants, thank you mysterious Force for that small mercy or should I thank whoever is in charge here, and a screen appears in front of me.

….

…..

…

O.O…

*Blink* It's still there.

Wait what?!

Welcome to The Game of Life

Please press the following Button for the Tutorial

Or Skip ahead

I am so not in the mood for this bullshit, so I'll skim. Let's see basic welcome to the game. Seen this type of fic enough times. I'll just skip the tutorial and save myself a day's work.

"OK let's give it a shot Menu." When nothing happened a tried another, "Status." Nothing. Starting regret skipping that tutorial. "Player Information" long shot but its wo-wait what is this crap!

Player Information

Name _/^^ *;*€(9££

Species (HIDDEN)

Age 14?

Gender Male

Skills (Hidden at this Time)

S.T. 3

S.S. 0

Let's see what is wrong with this picture. First thing is that I do not have a name it either corrupted data or erased or something. Which since I cannot think of what my old name is this is not all that shocking.

New priority figures out a good name for me maybe something edgy like Shadow. No, I'm not a grim dark emo hedgehog. Ed no it is not fitting at all. Rika no that's a girl's name. OK figure it out later.

Now species gives me a very bad feeling I need to avoid direct sunlight for a while till I figure out just what I am, along with running water, churches, graveyards, and car washes. Wait why car washes again? Witches maybe does that mean I should avoid the ocean too. Or should I go towards those things for all I know I could be a Kappa!

No, whatever my name is, freak out later thinks for now.

Never mind age has a question mark which works since I only look 14 but my soul is far older than that though still rather young since, I was only 24 when I died. Though I should just be happy my gender lacks that question mark. Not sure how I would feel waking up a woman on top of everything else so far.

Nothing wrong with women but I really identify as male and I think a lot of issues would be solved if people gave less of a shit about the other people's gender identities and just called them what they wanted to be called. You want to use male pronoun cool. You want to use female pronouns cool. You have a non-binary gender? Good for you. You identify yourself as an elf also cool.

Though what is with these abbreviations S.T. and S.S. What on earth does it mean?

OK maybe, just maybe, I should have gone through the tutorial what else can go wrong?

BBBBOOOOOMMMM! CRASH! Rrroooaaarrr!

Don't say anything.

Than a new screen appears. Oh, fuck me sideways it's a quest. This shows I'm a main character! Fuck! I'm expected to do stuff like slay the dragon, rescue the princess or save the world!

Quest 1

Save the Woman in Black (real name, title unknown) from the dragon.

Reward

6 S.T.

Failure

Killed in the Crossfire

Next life sent to Barney the Dinosaur to relearn the value of friendship.

Accept or Else

Fuck your mysterious force.

Ok I'll accept! Never seen a quest flat out threaten a gamer before. At least not with something so horrific. Death is rather common while destruction of the universe is harsher and rarer. But Barney! Starting to think whoever made this system has a grudge against me.

Superheroes and possibly Cleveland I can deal with. Barney though is something that should be outlawed in most civilized worlds as a too cruel to use method of torture.

Now to go save a girl from a dragon! Crap I'm going to die again and for 6 S.T. whatever that means. This is not Mario you can't just send a random guy to fight a dragon to save a princess! Those Toads had the right idea to a level though considering all those blocks you smashed according to the game guide were once people that shows how fucked up that world is.

As I run towards the sounds of a dragon roaring in rage and oddly enough testicle pain. Trust me I know that souls well I was in Chorus in Middle School and to avoid being beaten up you had to learn to give as good as you got or better.

Needless to say my voice grew three sizes higher that year.

"I need backup." Than a new menu opened. I wonder where I can find a meat shield at this hour. Maybe that is why Mario dragged Luigi everywhere?

Welcome to the Gatcha Menu

Summoning cost 3 S.T.

Press the Button Please.

"BahahamuhahahaHaHAHAHAHA! A Gatcha Game now I know this is the Bad Place!" Seriously before I died, I almost bankrupted myself playing Fate Grand Order back in my old life.

And I still never got Ruler! Yet another regret!

I loved the game, but I have a little problem with Gatcha Games. The same way Homer Simpson has only a little problem with Beer and Donuts.

On one hand I can summon something and possibly survive. On the other hand, I don't see see how this goes… Screw it I'm summoning.

"Please be a Saber! Or a Shirt! Just not Black Keys!" I shout as I press the button and in front of me a ring of light appears. Now I could describe it, but it looked just like the one form FGO.

And out of the summoning circle a girl appears. She is blond with long hair that reaches past her lower back, cool eyes, a black leather dress with multiple belts with a star shaped hole in the front above the chest. And she was short, and this is coming from 5ftish 14-year-old me.

"I am Servant Assassin. Are you my Master?" the girl says in a flat tone of voice. More of a statement than a question with a kind of monotone but kind of cute voice.

'Don't panic just play along.' I reply quickly, "Yes I am your Summoner. I need your help to take care of a dragon nearby." Trying to not panic as I summoned Loli Jailbait who called me Master.

I don't want to go to jail! I'm too old for any one this young to call me Master or anything of the sort. I don't want to go to jail! I try to block what they would do to me in jail. I'm a lover and not even a good one at that!

So yes, I may have rush things a little bit, but it all works out doesn't it? If I tell my self this enough, I may believe it.

"Understood." Servant Assassin said before disappearing in a blur of pure speed.

OK good I have a minion no wait a Servant so I will not die facing a dr- Wait a second.

I don't even know her name, parameters or even alignment! Crap for all I know this is some event exclusive version of Jack and I didn't even bring up the main mission of saving the girl! I just said, 'take care of the dragon.' For all I know that could mean killing it or beating it into submission and making it her slave/mount. Than how will I feed the thing!

A horrifying mental image appear in my head of Loli Assassin riding on the back of a dragon that looks like Fafnir while shooting fire at a nameless screaming crowd as I hang on to the thing's tail trying not to fall off. All the while escaping a unknown princess in a black armored dress trying to get Assassin to marry her and cursing me for taking her true love.

Looks like I'm going in. I only have one thing to say, "Author if I die here, I will make sure you pay for setting up a noob against a dragon for the tutorial mission. I don't know how or when, but I will." With my plans to haunt him ready I set out.

Yes, I decided this has to be a fanfic there are too many poorly written plot convinces for it to be anything but a fanfic likely a poorly written one at that.

The pants alone were a huge sign, the costumed women were another, and finally me Summoning someone with just the right amount of S.T., Summoning Tokens I'm guessing real original Author, all points to this being a fanfic.

Hopefully I'll live to see you next time on My Re-Teenage Life as a Gatcha Gamer in Sweatpants that Rides Up in The Crouch!

Author Notes:

Yep a S.I. styled OC character dumped in Worm with no idea what is going on. Been feeling like getting into writing again and while I rewrite a few fics from start to finish this idea would not leave me alone.

I'll be blunt my new policy with writing when I have the time and only reply to reviews through the messenger system. Meaning if you do not have an account I cannot respond to your review.

Dusk: OK I finally got over to this chapter and edited it up to make it a actually decent chapter rather than the crap Rider wrote originally.

Rider: You're a jerk you know, that right?

Dusk: Sticks and stones brat. Sticks and stones.

References:

1 - Jonathan Coulton "Re: Your Brains"

2 - Tom Kenny - SpongeBob SquarePants's voice actor - "Best Day Ever"

3- Jeff Pescetto - "Darkwing Duck Theme Song"

4- Leonard Cohen – "Hallelujah"

5- The Incredibles