A/N: Hi everyone welcome to this new story, I have been working on it for a while and have decided now is the perfect time to publish it. I don't really have a direction for this story, there's a little bit but not much so if there's anything you would like to happen just let me know and we'll see what happens. Thank-you and enjoy! ~KJ99

Creating the Perfect World

I was standing outside of the school having a smoke waiting for my girlfriend Clare to finish up with her student council, I was her ride home today and I also needed some help with my school work. Clare and I had been dating for about 9 months now; we had been going strong and were getting stronger by the day. This was the real deal for both of us, we are already talking about the future and what we are planning on doing, what colleges we are thinking of going to and just our future together. A few arguments have happened but we have been able to work through them and come out stronger on the other side.

Clare and I are really strong together, she was really kind and understanding about stuff she didn't even know about. I still had a lot of issues to deal with, I still need to get the rest of my surgery down but we are working through it together; Clare has even come with me to my counselling sessions. Eli my ex-friend and Clare's ex-boyfriend broke up during Eli's senior year they had this huge fight about the future and mutually decided that even though they had been through a lot they just couldn't last the distance; they broke up.

Clare was really upset; I was there for her through the many months of eating ice-cream, through the nights of holding her until she fell asleep. After that she started to smile more, I was hanging out with her more than Eli so we kind weren't friends anymore but Clare and I were. As Clare and I started to hang out more, my feelings for her start to grow I knew they were there but I just didn't want to mess Clare and Eli up but with him not in the picture anymore. One day I told Clare how I felt about her, she was shocked but said she would be lying if she said she didn't feel the same way for me. We started to date and didn't care what anyone thought or said, Drew was on my case about how bros aren't meant to do that to each other and I just told him it had nothing to do with.

I didn't really have the best relationship with Drew but I didn't care, he was already our parent's favourite and I hate it. My Mum would always be on my case about smoking but it was a habit I picked up from the time I wasn't happy with being a female, it would also take the stress of rejection from my Mum about wanting to become who I actually am. Looking up at the school doors I saw Clare, Alli, Jenna, Connor, Dallas and Drew all coming out of the school, they were all on school council, Clare had tried to get me to join but it wasn't my thing. Walking over to them, Clare smiles over at me and I smile back at her.

I asked "Good meeting?"

Clare replied with "Yeah, we've organised a day where we'll be teaching everyone about safe driving and not to text while driving."

I say "That sounds great; I told you it was a good idea."

Clare replied with "Yeah I know," Clare leant up to peck my lips.

Jenna said "A'ww you two are adorable."

Clare replied with "I know," she wrapped her arms around me and I kept smoking my smoke. Clare had tried to get me to quit but once I explained to her that if I don't smoke, I'm going to get angry and mad all the time so it's better if I keep smoking. She didn't like it but she soon got passed it and she actually likes the smell of the smoke on me; which is pretty cool but she hates the taste. Clare smoked a bit of one and almost threw up from the taste but the smell grew on her.

Drew asked "Adam, are you coming home tonight?"

I replied with "No, I'll be at Clare's again." We hadn't slept together at all, I just wasn't ready and I didn't have the right equipment yet. When Clare's Mum found out how uncomfortable I felt at my own house around my own Mum, Drew, even Dallas sometimes; she immediately told me I could stay over anytime but in the spare room. I was really grateful for Clare's family and I think Clare was too because when stuff happened with my family I would yell at Clare; which scared her and we both felt extremely bad mainly me though. I can't really remember the last time I was home for more than just extra clothes, like all my stuff is literally at Clare's and my Mum didn't even care or Drew. Drew just rolled his eyes at me and left with Dallas to go home, I stay standing with Clare and our friends.

Clare asked "You okay?"

I replied with "Absolutely great," I stepped back from her and started to focus on my smoke and calm down.

Clare said "Adam."

I replied with "Really, I'm fine Clare. I'm going to go bring the car around."

Clare said "Alright," we looked at each other before I left with my smoke to get the car.

Clare's P.O.V

Watching as Adam walked away, you didn't need to be a counsellor to know something was wrong with Adam, he was upset and mad. I thought I knew what was wrong; the fact Drew, his Mum and Drew's Dad barely cared about him. I couldn't remember the last time Adam wasn't at my house, which was fine by me but how could his family not care about him.

Alli then asked "Is he okay?"

I replied with "Nope."

Connor asked "What happened for him not to be okay?"

I answered with "Adam particularly lives at my house now."

Jenna asked "And what's wrong with that?" she smiled at me and I smiled back.

I replied with "Absolutely nothing but his family doesn't even care that his not there, he only goes back for clothes now and most of them are already at my house, and getting mixed up with Jake's clothes."

Alli said "So that's why Jake was wearing one of Adam's shirts the other day, I thought something was up."

I replied with "Yeah, Adam didn't have the heart to tell him and I let him wear it all day before telling him it was Adam's shirt not his."

Jenna asked "How did he react?"

I answered with "His face was full of shock but then he just shrugged his shoulders and told me my boyfriend had a good taste in clothing," we all laughed at Jake being Jake. Jake and I used to date but when our parents started to date, then they moved in and then our parents got married it just became too weird for us and we broke up. He was now like a brother to me and we were really close, like he wasn't a stepbrother he is a brother.

"Clare!" I heard Adam shout and a horn beep.

I shout back "I'll be there in a minute," he nods his head and waits.

I said "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Jenna replied with "That you will," we smiled at each other before I hugged each of them before leaving to get into Adam's car.

Half of the drive home was spent in silence but then Adam asked "How was your day?" he must no longer be mad at Drew anymore.

"Yeah it was good, how was yours?"

"It was alright," Adam smiled over at me and I smiled back.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Clare. I just wished they'd care some more."

"I know Adam, it sucks how they treat you," Adam nodded his head and the rest of the drive was spent in silence. I didn't mind the silence at all, it gave me time to think and enjoy the moments I share with Adam. He pulled the car into my driveway; he hopped out first and run around to open my door for me as well as helping me out of the car. Adam then carried both of our school bags inside for us, I opened the door for us and when we walked into the lounge room; I saw someone I hadn't seen in ages.

I shout "Oh my god! Darcy!" I run straight over to her and hug her.

"Hey sis," was her reply as she hugs me back.

Stepping back, I ask "What are you doing here?"

"Well I decided it was time to come home to see my little sister and to meet my new stepdad and stepbrother," I nodded my head and wrapped her into a big hug again. Hearing something drop on the ground caused me to turn to see Adam had place the bags down on the floor, he smiled at me and I smiled back at him.

Darcy then asked "And who this?"

Before I can say anything Jake said "What a shock Adam's here again."

I roll my eyes and say "Shut up Jake," we go into a brother and sister fight which end ups with me in a head lock

I shout "Adam! Adam help!"

Adam replied with "Nah you look like you can break out of that," Mum, Glen and Darcy all laugh at that.

I shout "When I get out of this I'm going to kill you."

Adam replied with "Oh I'm terrified."

Jake's phone started to ring both Adam and I say "Jakie's Girlfriend, Jakie's girlfriend!"

Jake glares at us and say "Shut up," he realises me to answer his phone and I run straight at Adam. Adam just wraps his arms around me and holds me close to him while staring deeply into my eyes, which he knows makes me crazy.

Darcy then said "Okay, I take it by that look Clare has a boyfriend that I didn't know about."

Adam gasped and said "You didn't tell her about me."

I replied with "She always talking about herself and I can't get a word in."

Adam nods and said "Now I see how your sisters," I gasped and slap him on the shoulder. He then gives me his puppy eyed look which I can't resist; I roll my eyes before leaning into peck his lips.

I then turn and say "Darcy this is my boyfriend Adam, Adam this is my sister Darcy," Adam puts his hand out and Darcy shakes it.

Darcy said "It's nice to meet you; I can't wait to get to know you."

Adam nods and said "Likewise," they then stop shaking hands and Adam wraps his arms around my waist.

Adam then asked "Mrs Martin it's still alright for me to be here right?"

Mum replied with "Yes of course it is Adam but you're going to have to sleep on the couch, since the room you were using is Darcy's."

Adam nods and say "That's totally fine, I don't mind," they smile at each other and I smile back at Adam.

Darcy then asked "Since when are boyfriends allowed to sleepover?"

Mum answered with "Since I say so," Darcy nods but looks over at us.

I hear Adam sigh and say "I'm FTM okay, my family aren't as cool with it as they like me to believe and I just feel uncomfortable there and around them, so Clare's family allows me to stay here whenever I like and it's okay with them as long as I respect their rules."

Darcy slowly nods her head and said "You can barely tell."

Mum and I both shout "Darcy!"

Darcy replied with "What? You can't and it's a compliment. I'm sorry that me coming back means you have to sleep on the couch."

Adam said "Thanks, it's nothing really, I don't really care what I sleep on," Darcy nods and smiles at me; which tells me she like him.

Jake walks back into the room with a big smile on his face; he asked "Adam do you want play some video games?"

Adam answered with "Yeah sure, I'll just have a quick smoke."

Jake replied with "Alright, it'll give me a chance to set up."

Adam nods while Darcy asked "You smoke?"

Adam replied with "Yeah," I see Darcy give me a look of why haven't you stopped him and I just give her the look back of I'll explain later. Adam starts to leave the room before coming back into the room, he spins me around and fall out kisses me in front of my family; he then breaks us apart and walks away with a huge smile on his face while I stand there breathless.

Adam's P.O.V

I was standing outside on Clare's front porch having my smoke when the door opened, looking behind me I saw Darcy walk out she immediately wrapped her arms around herself clearly cold.

"How can you stand being out here it's freezing?"

"The smoke it keeps me warm."

"Right, why do you smoke Adam?"

"It's habit I picked up as a kid."

"How do you pick up smoking as a kid?"

"I just did, let's leave it at that."

"Okay, I just want to make sure your right for my sister."

"I don't know if I am but I'm going make sure Clare is happy, always smiling and I would never hurt her. I'd rather die than hurt Clare, no I'd rather stay as female than hurt Clare."

"Wow that's huge."

"You have no idea. I don't know what will happen with Clare and I but I'm going to do my best to make her happy and always be there for her no matter what."

"Well that's just what any big sister wants to hear," I smiled at her before crashing my smoke out on the ash tray Glen had bought me for when I was here.

Leaning against a pole I asked "So are you really back for good?"

"Yeah, I've seen all I need to see in the world and now it's time to come home."

"Right, if you don't mind me asking why did you leave?"

"No, it's okay. Umm…when I was on spring break with my friends I was drugged and then raped, it took me a while to remember it but I start to feel really bad all the time. I didn't understand why until I remembered everything that happened, I then started too acted out so badly I almost got Mr Simpson fired but I ended up telling him what happened. My parents then decided that I should go to Kenya to do some charity work, it didn't magically disappear all my anger and frustration of being used like that but now I've worked through it all."

"Wow, I'm sorry that happened to you but I'm really happy that you've been able to work through all your issues."

"Thanks Adam, we should probably get back in there."

"Yeah, thank-you for trusting me enough to tell me that."

"You're welcome and maybe one day you'll trust me enough to tell me all your horror stories but you should trust Clare."

"What makes you think I've got any?"

"I see it in your eyes," I looked at her strangely before following her inside.

Walking into the lounge room, Jake said "About time."

"Sorry, I just need another minute."

Jake replied with "Okay."

Looking at Darcy she said "Upstairs," I smile at her and start walking over to the stairs to go up them.

Walking down the hallway to Clare's room, I lightly knock on the door and hear "Come in," slowly walking in I find Clare doing homework.

"Hey, I didn't mean to interrupt you."

"It's fine Adam, come here," I enter the room and close the door behind me. I walk into Clare's room more and sit down on her bed, carefully avoiding sitting on any of her homework.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really."

"What's wrong?"

"My past, I haven't been entirely honest with you about it."

"What are you talking about?"

"There are things I haven't told anyone, no one outside of my family knows about it. Things I can't comprehend that actually happened, things that no person should ever have to go through."

"Why are you telling me this Adam?"

"You deserve the truth and to know why I am so messed up."

"Why are you telling me now? And you're not a mess."

"Your sister came outside while I was smoking and she told me why she left, about what happened to her and I am so sorry that happened to your sister."

"It was really scary when it happened, she was going through all this pain and I had no idea what was really going on."

"Yeah, I understand what you mean and if you want to talk about it just talk and I'll listen."

"Thank-you Adam, I never could with Eli or Alli and Jenna they just didn't know or understand."

"I do."

"You keep saying that like, like you've almost been there."

"That's because I have."

"What?"

Looking up at Clare I say "No one can ever know about what I'm going to tell you."

"Of course Adam, you can trust me."

"It started out when I was really young like 3 or 4 maybe, my Dad he would come into my room to say goodnight to me but it was more than tucking me into bed. More like he would get into the bed with me, he would touch me in ways no father should and he hurt me in more ways than I could possible know at the time. This went on for months no one knew what he was really doing, when I would start fighting back he would hold me down really tight until I stopped moving, stopped fighting at all."

"Adam," I looked up at Clare to see she had tears rolling down her cheek. Picking up her books, I placed them over on her desk and sat down on her bed next to her. I wrapped my arms around her and she held onto me tight as I started living my memories.

"This went on until I was six then he stopped, I think he got bored with me or something. That's when I started to stop wearing dresses and started to wear boys clothes, every time I refused to wear a dress he'd hit me and it would get harder and harder. Bruises came, broken bones came and a concussion once as well. He broke two bones in my right leg and my left shoulder bone was shredded. Mum knew all this was going on and never stopped it once, she never stopped him from hurting me and a part of me started to believe this was all my fault. That all happened when I was six to about eight. When I was eight I would stop wearing dress completely, like I had burnt them all up and because I did that he decided to burn my feet. He would get cigarettes, light them up and burn them on my feet, I would scream for hours and maybe even days on end because of the pain," pausing to rip off my shoes and socks to show Clare what he did.

"With the burning of my feet happening the sexual assault picked up again, he would force himself on me every single night and when he left my room I'd cry myself to sleep, some nights I didn't get sleep. When I was ten my Mum finally took me away from him, we left California and moved to Florida, I was so grateful to finally be away from that man, the man of my nightmares. In Florida I told my Mum that I was supposed to be a boy but she just told me no that wasn't allowed in her house, that was end of discussion for her. I went to middle school there and I thought everything was okay until one of my female teachers kept asking me to stay behind after school, there she would start to sexual assault me in ways I didn't know were possible. I would keep telling her no but she wouldn't listen, it got to the point were crying, screaming and yelling was no use and I just took it; again believing it was my fault. By the time my Mum had meet Drew's Dad all the damage had been done, I started to smoke in Florida when I was eleven because I need something to take the pain away, to take the angry and to stop feeling. When Drew's Dad found out about the teacher assaulting me he moved as all here to Toronto, Canada, he got me the help I needed and he help get my Mum to understand that this wasn't a choice for me; I was just being who I am. I didn't chose to be born a female, if I had it my way I would've been born Male and there wouldn't be any issues but now there is. I do blame my Mum for what happened I mean who wouldn't, she could have stopped it but she never did and Drew, he just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand why I need a night light on to fall asleep, he doesn't understand why I wake up screaming which wakes everyone up, he doesn't understand what I went through and still going through." Looking down at Clare in my shoulder I saw the pain she was feeling, I saw the sadness in her eyes and I felt the tears soaking up into my shirt.

Clare then said through and around tears "I am so sorry that you went through all that. You didn't deserve that no one deserve to be assault like that, to have their childhood memories to be those and to not have a childhood filled of laughter and happiness."

"It's not fair, I know that Clare."

"It's not right either Adam, I hate your Mum for letting that happen to you."

"Yeah me too."

"Thank-you for trusting me enough to tell me that, I'm glad I know."

"You're welcome Clare, now you know why I'm such a mess."

"You are not a mess."

"I am, I have all this issues and baggies."

"Which we can get through together."

"Together, I like the sound of that."

"Me too Adam," we both smile at each other before both leaning into share a small kiss.

Clare then said "I want you to know if you ever want to talk to me, to just talk. I want us to both be able to talk to each other, openly and freely, not having to worry what the other will think."

"Yeah I would like that very much."

"Good."

"Can I tell you some more things?"

"Of course Adam," I give her a little smile before thinking about how to get this across.

"I get scared sometimes that you might want to take our relationship to the next level, meaning sex. I just want you to know that I'm not ready for that, I want to get all my surgery done before I do anything like that, don't get me wrong I love you and think you are incredible sexy, hot even; I just need to feel like me." I watched as Clare took in what I had said and thinking over her answer before saying a word.

"Again thank-you for being honest with me, it really helps for me to know where your head is because sometimes it's really hard to tell where you are at. But I'm not ready either, I've always wanted to wait until I'm married before having sex, I know it's old fashion and not the trend these day but they are just my beliefs. I think your hot to Adam and I think it's important for us to both feel comfortable with ourselves and then with each other before we go to that level."

"Cool, do you think if we talk to your Mum and Glen about this, they'd let me sleep in here?"

"Keep dreaming Adam."

"Oh I will," Clare shook her head at me and leant forward to kiss me. The kiss was becoming really heated, I had moved so I was lying on top of Clare and she was lying underneath me. Clare's had tangled her fingers in my hair, as she brought me further into the kiss.

We were then interrupted by a knock at the door and Jake's voice saying "Dude stop kissing my sister and come play video games with me," dropping my head down into the crook of Clare's neck annoyed.

Clare yelled out through a laugh "Go away Jake!" I started to laugh into Clare's neck and her laughing didn't help calm my laughing down.

"Hey stop laughing at me!" that didn't help either.

Sighing I roll off from lying on top of Clare and say "I should let you get back to your homework."

"Who can do homework after that?"

"Sorry."

"No it's okay," Clare pecked my cheek.

Jake pounded on the door and shouted "Come on."

I shout back "I'll be a down in a minute."

"You better or, or I'm telling my Dad," we hear him storm off but just laugh at him.

"Do you want to come watch?"

"Yeah okay."

"Awesome," we both stand up, I pick Clare up and place her over my shoulder.

Clare said through giggling "Adam, put me down."

"No," making sure I have her before starting to walk over to the door. Opening the door very carefully, I walk through it and Clare is able to shut it behind us.

"Now can you put me down."

"Nope," walking down the stairs was a bit tricky but we eventually got down. Walking into the lounge room we find Darcy and Jake in there, they both turn and laugh.

Clare said "This is no laughing matter."

Jake replied with "Oh yes it is," they both then start to take photos.

"I'm going to kill you both, once I get down," we all laugh before I dropped her down carefully onto the lounge.

I asked "Do you need a drink?"

Clare replied with "Yeah, water."

I say "I'll be back."

Jake said "Oh come on," I give him a look and he gives me one back.

Darcy then said "I'll go get them, water for you too Adam?"

"Please," she smiles at me and leaves the room. Sitting down on the couch in between Clare and Jake, Clare automatically pulls me to half lay on her while Jake hands me a controller.

I asked "What are we playing?"

Jake answered with "NBA 2k15."

"Awesome," after setting the game up and kiss of good luck from Clare and I was already to go to beat Jake ass; he has never beaten me in this game.

When we were called to dinner from Clare's Mum, Jake wasn't talking to me at all we had played five games and I had won all five; he now won't speak to me and keeps glaring at me. Pulling out Clare's chair for her before pushing it in and going into the kitchen to help carry the food in, Mrs Martins has cooked burgers for dinner tonight. Carrying in the rolls for the burgers, I placed them in the middle of the table before taking my seat next to Clare. Jake was sitting across from me and he was glaring at me, Darcy sat in front of Clare which left the heads of the table for the parents. As Glenn walked around the table pouring everyone a Pepsi to drink, he hit Jake on the back of the head which made me smile a little.

Glen then said "It's rude to glare at the dinner table."

Jake replied with "But he beat me five times in a row, how is that even possible."

I say "Because you suck," Clare and Darcy nod their heads. Mrs Martins brought in the paddies and placed them down next to the rolls, we had salad and sauce to put into our burgers.

Glen said "Just like to say I am grateful for you all being in my life and Darcy it's great to have you home and to finally meet you," we all smiled at each other happily; this is where I belonged.

Mrs Martin said "Now all please dig in." I grab two rolls; place one on my plate and another on Clare's plate while doing that Clare places a paddy on both of our plates. We choose what salad we have and how much we want before the other adds more because we need more salad each, I then put tomato sauce onto Clare's burger while she places BBQ sauce onto my burger.

Looking up I see Darcy staring at us in shock, Clare asked "What?"

Darcy replied with "I've never seen a couple do that before," I just shrug, peck Clare on the cheek and dig into my burger.

As we all continue eating, Darcy said "I have some news."

Mrs Martins asked "What's that?"

Darcy replied with "I've got a meeting with Mr Simpson in the morning and if everything goes to plan, I'll be attending Degrassi High School once again."

Clare said through a mouthful "What?"

Mrs Martins said "Clare manners," both Jake and I crack up laughing but when I get slapped by Clare I stop and Jake now laughs at me.

Mrs Martin ignores us and asked "You're going back to school?"

Darcy replied with "Yeah, I've had the experience and now I need the knowledge plus it's hard getting a job without graduating from high school."

Mrs Martins said "That's great, would you like me come with you?" Looking over at Clare I could see she wasn't handling the news real well which I didn't understand.

Darcy replied with "No, I'll be fine."

Clare then said "Great, I'll be little Edwards again, the freaky sister," Clare stands up and runs off, we soon hear a door slam shut.

I sit there awkwardly for a few minutes trying to think what to say and I end up saying "I better go after her," Mrs Martins and Darcy both nod at me.

Standing up from the table about to leave, Glen said "Adam?"

Turning around I say "Yeah."

Glenn replied with "Take your plates up with you."

Nodding I say "Right," walking back over to the table. I put extra food onto our plates and once I have enough I leave again to go see what's wrong with Clare.

I hear Jake shout out "Good luck," I smile before continuing up the stairs.

When I reach Clare's door I realise I can't open it, I say "Knock, knock."

I hear Clare say back "Who's there?"

I replied with "Awesome boyfriend."

Clare asked "Awesome boyfriend who?"

I answer with "Awesome boyfriend who bring you food," I hear Clare giggle before the door opens and I see Clare massive smile.

"Hey beautiful," Clare smiles at me, pulls me into the room before closing the door. I stay standing next to the door with the plates of food while Clare walks over to sit down on her bed, I then place the plates of food down on her bedside table and sit down on the bed in front of her.

"Can you explain it to me?" I asked.

"When I started at Degrassi, I was part of this smart people program along with Alli and Connor; Jenna came along in the second semester. Anyway that's why I was there and I was known as little Edwards or the freaky sister because everyone knew I was smarter than Darcy, now I'll go back to that. I just don't want to go back to that when so much has happened."

"You won't."

"How do you know?"

"Well the only people who know that happened was you, Connor, Alli and Jenna, all the people who would've known have graduated or don't care."

"Guess when you say it like that."

"You're not a freak just because your super smart doesn't make you a freak, it makes you an interesting person because you know so much more than people think."

"You've always had away with words," I smile and shrug.

I then say "Little Edwards isn't too bad, I mean you are younger than her."

"How would you like to be called little Torres?"

"I wouldn't but it's better than having his last name."

"Torres isn't your last name?"

"No, when Mum married Drew's Dad they changed it to his."

"What was it before?"

"Thomas."

"Adam Thomas, what's you middle name?"

"John."

"Adam John Thomas, I like it."

"But do you know what sounds better?"

"No."

"Adam John Edwards," I nervously say and wait for her reaction.

Clare smiles and said "Yeah that does sound better."

"I know tradition is you're meant to take my last name or keep yours but I don't really have a last name of my own, besides who cares about tradition anyway."

"Yeah and it does sound better."

"You don't mind though?"

"Not at all, I never really wanted to give up my last name and now you can share mine."

"Awesome, now we can be little Edwards together."

"No Adam, just no."

"It was worth a thought though."

"True but no."

"Alright, don't be mad at your sister for wanting an education be happy that she wants to go back to school most kids hate going to school."

"Yeah okay, thanks Adam."

"Anytime Clare," I then leant forward and pecks her lips.

Looking deeply into Clare's eyes, I take a deep breath before saying "I love you Clare Edwards."

Clare smiles at me and said "That's the first time you've said that to me."

"I know, I do love you Clare."

"I love you to Adam," smiling at each other we both then lean in and kiss each other.

"Now can we eat some food I'm hungry," Clare just smiles and shakes her head at me. Standing up I grab both plates and place them down on the bed before sitting back down on the bed in front of Clare, we both smile at each other and then tuck into our food while making simple and easy conversation.