In all his years of quelling the chaos at the Loud house, Lincoln has to face the hardest challenge of his life. You see, there's a certain sister that he has to deal with on a regular basis. Said sister is hyper receptive to any actions directed near her, or towards her. And Lincoln has to be extremely careful on what he says to her. This is his kindest and one of the most beautiful of his sisters. If he messes up and says the wrong thing to her, he'd have to live with the consequences for at least the rest of today. He doesn't want to do this, he doesn't want to break her fragile little heart but sometimes she needs to know if she's doing something wrong. But how do you do so without hurting her feelings and making yourself a pariah to everyone around you? Everything he does, a potential crisis for both of them. And eventually, just like in the game of minesweeper, he has to hit a landmine sometime…

"Hey, Linky!" She announces vibrantly "I just finished making a new floral dress. Do you want to be the first one to try it out?"

"No."

His sister runs away crying.

"Lincoln! You literally made Leni cry! I'm going to turn you into a human pretzel!"

"No…" Leni sniffles "No, it's fine, Lori. I'm the stupid one. Obviously, a boy won't try out an article of clothing meant for women. Just…don't punish him for my mistake."

"Uh, sure Leni. I'll be your model."

"Seriously? That's totes great! Come with me!"

Both of them walk towards Lori and Leni's room. Leni tries to open the door but gets shocked by their security system.

"Ugh, Lori enabled this stupid security system again! What was the password again?"

T-R-U-M-P-C-A-R-D

J-A-C-K-O-F-H-E-A-R-T-S

Q-U-E-E-N-O-F-C-L-U-B-S

J-O-K-E-R-5-1-5-2

S-P-A-D-E-Q-U-A-S-H

A-C-E-O-F-S-P-A-D-E-S

8-O-F-S-P-A-D-E-S

R-O-Y-A-L-F-L-U-S-H

Q-U-E-E-N-O-F-D-I-A-M-O-N-D-S

C-A-R-D-C-O-U-N-T-E-R

Q-U-A-D-D-E-U-C-E-S

Leni gets shocked after each attempt and gets locked out for trying to enter the password too many times.

"Surely there must be an easier way? Lori would probably take precautionary measures so that you could access your shared room."

"I totally agree, Linky. But how would she be able to do that?"

Leni notices a button with a picture of herself on it. She presses it.

"Leni mode activated, prepare for voice recognition…"

"I'm totes going to the mall after this."

"Welcome back, Leni."

The door opens. Lincoln and Leni enter the room but Lori is already there.

"Oh, hey Lori. Can you go away for a while?"

"What did you just say to me, Leni?"

"Well I mean, Lincoln is going to be doing something for me today."

"And why should I care?"

"Because it will most likely be humiliating for him."

"Ok, now I have to stay here and see what's going to happen next."

Leni glowers firmly at Lori but she doesn't move. Eventually Leni relents and continues with their plans today. Unbeknownst to them, Lori is recording the whole thing on her cellphone.

"Ok, now I'm going to look away and let you try on the dress. Just tell me when you're ready." Leni says with her back turned away from him and with her hands covering her eyes.

"Ok, I'm ready."

Leni turns around and sees him wearing her dress. She's proud of herself for creating this masterpiece and proud of her brother for having the courage to try it on, despite people mocking him for it.

"Ok Linky, now tell me what you…" Leni notices that Lori was recording the whole ordeal "LORI! Did you just record our brother?!"

"Of course!"

"Even when he was getting dressed?!"

"Yes!"

"Wow! I never thought you be such a lascivious pervert to your own brother! I thought you'd only be lewd toward Bobby!"

"YOU LEAVE MY PRECIOUS BOBBY BOO BOO BEAR OUT OF THIS!"

Leni tries to snatch Lori's phone.

"DELETE THE VIDEO!"

"GET OFF OF ME!"

The two eldest sisters begin fighting while poor Lincoln has to stand there and watch (he can't leave, he's still wearing Leni's dress and he can't risk going outside in it, lest he be mocked by his other sisters. And he can't get dressed during a confrontation, someone might accidently peep)! He decides to take his clothes and himself into their closet during the duration of their fight.

During their scuffle, Lori accidently presses the "send" button to every student in Royal Woods High School (yes, even Leni).

"Why didn't you delete the video?"

"Because it was funny!"

"Is it "funny" that you ruined our brother's life?!"

Thankfully, Lori wasn't in the room, so Lincoln and Leni could continue their plan without incident.

"Viola, I call it "A Dull Camera", Do you like it?"

"Yes."

"Oh please, it's solanum dulcamara, you asinine retard!"

Leni bursts into tears and runs away.

"Lisa! Why'd you do that?!"

"It's not my fault our second eldest sister has the mental capacity of a prokaryote. Naturally, I have to proofread her intelligence a lot."

"What about her feelings?"

"Facts over feelings, elder brother."

"You're a scientist. Surely you know that Leni is hypersensitive when it comes to her emotional state."

"Indeed. But she can't go on living her life in naiveté, Lincoln." Lisa deduces tersely

"Agreed, but there must be a tactical approach to this…"

"Um, Leni…it's called dulcamara."

"Oh, my bad. See, I overheard some students in our high school's botany class and this was one of the plants that they were discussing. They said that this was a highly toxic plant in the solanaceae family but they also mentioned that tomatoes, eggplants, potatoes and chili peppers are also solanum. But if its so deadly, then how come we eat solanum-based foods on a daily basis and not die from the solamargine and solanine glycoalkaloids they produce?"

Lincoln can't process what was said. Not because he doesn't understand what Leni is trying to say but it's because Leni said it. He'd normally expect this scientific deduction from Lisa.

"Never mind. I just think the flower looks totes cute, so I used it in my design."

"Well, I think I have a better name. How about "Fatal Attraction?""

"Wow, Linky! That is a totes better name than what I came up with. You really should be a nomenclaturist."

Lincoln takes off Leni's dress and re-adorns his signature orange shirt and blue jeans. He then heads of toward his own room after bidding Leni farewell. Yes, it's not easy to tell Leni she's wrong without the threat of her overreacting to what he's trying to say to her. It's a pretty difficult balancing act but Lincoln has managed to find a sweet spot when letting his sister down gently. After all, no one wants to see Leni cry.

But something strikes him as odd. Leni seemed…a mite more intellectual when discussing why she chose solanum dulcamara to him. Maybe…

…

…

…

Maybe Leni is more intelligent than the other sisters think. Lincoln had hypotheses about this perceived notion before. In his cerebral cortices, he was confident enough that with a slight trauma to the cranium, Leni's brain will rewire itself and make her intelligent enough to solve a complex calculus equation. Solving her non-negative integer exponents before multiplying her z-polynomials. He even thought she was smart enough to get into Harvard! Of course, he also gave Leni a bigger ego but considering she somehow got into the most prestigious private school in America, it would a bigger surprise if she didn't have an ego. But this was all a machination formed by a facet of his cerebral cortex, right?! Maybe Lincoln was right all along. He reflects on what just happened by lying down on his bed.

Author's Note: Things mentioned in italics are what Lincoln thinks will happen, while text written normally is what actually happened.