Disclaimer: I think we all know that these characters aren't mine.

Chapter 1: Just a Peppermint Tea for Me

The doors to Patty's Pancake Parlour swung open as the chiming of the entryway bells caused a pink-clad waitress to look up sharply. Her eyes widened in shock as a man with green skin strolled into her shop, followed by a lanky man with blue hair and blackened eyes, a woman wearing large, colored glasses and a fuzzy blue jacket, and a large man with an eerie, glowing gaze. The sight of the odd group rendered her speechless. She must have been staring at them for a good twenty seconds before the green man cleared his throat loudly, and she realized that he was glaring at her with his arms crossed.

"Would it kill you to find us a table?"

She flinched as his scratchy voice broke through her bewildered trance. "Oh- Of course. Right this way…"

A half-hour's passage found the group seated in a booth by a window, late-morning sunlight streaming over them as they hungrily watched the waitress pile their table with dishes of pancakes in every flavor under the sun- blueberry, chocolate chip, birthday cake, you name it. The moment the waitress stepped back from the table, the bandmates fell upon the dishes and ravenously began devouring everything in sight.

Or, at least, three of them did.

Stuart Pot, a.k.a. 2D, leaned against the window, gingerly fingering a mug of steaming peppermint tea. He raised it slowly to his lips as he observed his bandmates. Next to him, Murdoc tore through cake after cake with his strangely pointed teeth. Across from Murdock, Russel had just finished pouring a whole bottle of syrup over a large stack. He forked four whole pancakes at once and crammed them into his mouth hungrily. Next to Russel and, like 2D, adjacent to the window, Noodle cut her strawberry-topped pancakes into bite-sized squares, which she consumed rapidly. They were completely absorbed in their food. No worries, save to fill their stomachs. No other care in the world. As if something extremely unsettling hadn't happened to them at their new house just over an hour ago.

"Um… Eh… Guys?" 2D stuttered nervously. His bandmates glanced up at him.

"So… Our new house is haunted?"

"Yup," Murdock replied shortly, then continued eating. Russel followed suite.

2D lowered his gaze back down to the mug. The rim of the mug was his favorite shade of magenta, but he hardly noticed since his thoughts were swirling with images of what he had witnessed earlier that morning: snakelike spirits winding through the hallways of the house, malevolent flying food bursting out of an innocent-looking fridge, a meteor-filled space environment appearing out of nowhere… He shuddered at the memory. Why were his bandmates being so nonchalant about this? 2D glanced up and was somewhat startled to find Noodle staring at him. She must have noticed the trepidation in his voice when he had spoken, and she was eyeing him thoughtfully, as if she actually cared that he was disturbed. She offered him a small smile, which sparked a good sort of feeling in his chest. Feeling bolstered (although still quite nervous), 2D glanced briefly back at his tea before returning his nervous gaze to his bandmates and shakily elaborating, "Is… Isn't this… ah… a problem?"

Murdoc rolled his eyes with a groan. "Quit whining, face-ache. We've dealt with worse."

Russel looked at 2D sympathetically, but concurred, "Muds is right, man. Kong had zombies, that toxic beach had pirates and an evil boogieman. All those spirits really did was give us a trip. You should let it go, D. Ease up. Have some pancakes."

2D gulped nervously, rubbing his neck. The memory of being choked by a talking pizza slice was a little too fresh in his mind for him to consider eating right now. He was about to resume staring at his tea when Noodle entered the conversation.

"I understand your worry, 2D," Noodle said sympathetically. "But this house is nothing we can't handle. The spirits did us no harm, and it they ever tried, I could pull out some jujutsu on them. We'll all be fine." 2D nodded and smiled sheepishly, feeling warmed by her concern, but his twitching fingers betrayed his persisting worry. Noodle held his gaze as she tilted her head slightly and asked. "Is there anything we can do to make you feel better about the house?"

"Well," 2D replied hesitantly, "we could… umm… you know… get a different house?"

"NO!" Murdock roared with a sudden ferocity which had heads turning at tables all over the restaurant. The bassist leaned menacingly over 2D, causing the singer to flinch back and quiver in his seat. "Do you have any idea, any idea at all, of what I went through to find that house, Dullard? What it took to find a realtor who would help us after the eviction?" 2D shook his head jerkily as he pressed his back into the seat, willing his body to disappear into the crack between the cushions and the wall. "It took months to find this property, months! And if you think we're all going to just pick up and move because you're afraid of ghosts, then you've got even less brains than I thought, which is really saying something, since I didn't think you had any brains in the first place!"

The whole restaurant had fallen silent. Murdock turned to find diners at neighboring tables staring at him, food falling from their open mouths in shock at is tirade. Murdock snarled at them as they turned slowly back to their meals. When the restaurant began humming once more with the sound of clinking silverware and light conversation, Murdock growled at 2D, "We're not moving. It's a perfectly good house with plenty of space and a working bath. If I hear one more complaint out of you, I'll push you through the window."

"Yo, Murdock."

The bassist looked up sharply at Russel, his eyes narrowing when he saw the large man grinning as if something was amusing him. Noodle had one hand over her mouth and her face twitched as if she were hiding a laugh. Russel stated, "It's happening again." Murdock seemed confused by this statement, so Russel elaborated while motioning with his hand, "Your eye."

Murdock slapped a hand over his eye and growled with frustration. Noodle let out a short chuckle while Russel shook his head. 2D let out a long breath, relieved to no longer be the center of attention, and relaxed into his seat as he observed his bandmate's banter.

"Man, you need to get that thing checked out," Russel advised, "see an optometrist or somethin'."

"It's fine!" Murdock spat, referring to the eye which had lately been refusing to look in the correct direction whenever he spoke for too long. "It just needs some rest!"

"You've been saying that for weeks," Russel replied. "When we start having interviews, our fans are gonna think you've got issues."

"Or, they'll just assume I'm on drugs then move on with their lives," Murdock huffed. "They probably won't notice anything, as long as I don't take you along to the interviews to point it out to everyone. And I don't think you'll be coming along either," Murdock added as he turned to Noodle, who was still struggling to hold back her laughter.

"Can I be excused from the interviews too?" Asked 2D hopefully.

"No," Murdock responded, casting 2D a glare which told him that there would be no arguing.

2D sighed and sipped his tea. It wasn't that he didn't like the interviews; in fact, he loved having the chance to open up to his fans around the world. However, Murdock tended to behave somewhat unpredictably lately, and 2D didn't want to be around when the Bassist finally snapped and attacked an interviewer. Also, he wasn't sure what he would say in front of Murdoc if people asked what happened to their old Jeep...