Open Letter To The Glee Fandom

I always find letters difficult to begin. I have so many things to say and yet I don't want to make this too impossibly long (as most of my writing turns out this way. I'm a rambler). This letter doesn't have a specific structure because I didn't plan anything out and I wanted it to be as raw as possible. So hopefully I sound coherent enough through all the emotions and nothing ends up looking like word-vomit.

The first episode of Glee I ever watched was "Acafellas" in season one.

I was twelve years old and in the seventh grade. I hadn't planned on watching the show at all, but I was bored at home and was surfing through channels for something to watch. I didn't watch the episode from the very beginning, but I'll never forget seeing Mercedes throw a brick at Kurt's car followed by her rendition of "Bust Your Windows". I was intrigued, because middle school was the period in time for me when I became invested in musical theatre and I had never seen singing on a TV show before. I watched the rest of the episode and adored the scene of Kurt coming out to Mercedes. After that, I watched "Preggers" and once again was fixated on Kurt Hummel. From single ladies to the coming out scene, I knew Kurt as a character and Chris (who's name I didn't know at the time) was so diverse. I let some time pass before I watched any more episodes, but during Christmas break of that year, I watched all the episodes in a few days, fell in love, and the rest is history.

Like many people, I hated middle school. It was a terrible time for me. Despite me having a few good friends, I really feel like I didn't belong in many social settings. I don't want to dwell to much on my middle school experience because it's boring and I'm sure everyone hated middle school, but this is why Glee means so much to me. As Glee went on and more and more people started dropping out of the fandom, I knew I could never stop watching because it came into my life at the perfect time; a time when I felt lonely and awkward. Glee really cheered me up and I had something to look forward to in grades seven and eight (which is when my favorite seasons, one and two, aired). When something affects you that hard, its difficult to just stop being invested in it. Especially because I'm a person who doesn't take entertainment lightly and who gets emotional very easily (as many people on tumblr do, I've learned).

Glee has done a lot for me over the past few years. It's expanded my love of music and the arts in general, it's introduced me to various topics that I've later learned more about on my own, and it's even one of the reasons why I auditioned for the vocal program at my arts high school and was accepted.

I have never been so invested in a television show in my life. The closest thing I can really think of that I've loved with as much intensity is Harry Potter, but that's it. Like I said before, I take things in entertainment to heart and I get affected by fictional characters and stories easily, but Glee really hit me hard. Of course, Glee has become sort of a laughing stock on tumblr and in general. I can't deny that the show has sometimes made me wanna rip my hair out because of how frustrated it made me. I've definitely been beyond irritated by the show. And yet, I never stopped watching.

I grew up with this show, in a sense. I became a teenager with this show, and I'm glad this show was on the air from when I was twelve in 2009 to now 17 in 2015. I feel like this was the perfect time for me personally to watch this show, with the coming-of-age theme and follow-your-dream message that it put out every season.

And of course, I gained an OTP out of this whole thing. Much like my feelings for Glee as a TV show, I had never been so invested in a fictional couple until Kurt met Blaine on the Dalton staircase. Through their ups and downs, I've loved them and what they've done for the world. Klaine introduced me to fanfiction and another side of fandom that I never knew existed. People can laugh all they want about fanfiction, but as someone who's loved writing her whole life, it became a really useful tool for me to improve my writing skills and get feedback from people who cared about the same characters I cared about. Kurt and Blaine as a couple will always mean something so important to me. So despite all the klainer 12 jokes and hate we sometimes get, I'll never forget how happy this fictional couple has made me. I'm so lucky to have watched my OTP get a happy ending, as well as many of the other characters on the show.

I'll never forget the incredible memories I had because of Glee. From seeing the Glee Live tour in 2011 and meeting some of the Warblers behind the tour busses, to meeting Chris Colfer at his book signing in 2012 and blushing so bad I thought my face would start steaming up, to seeing Darren Criss in How To Succeed on Broadway and going to his Listen Up concert in Toronto, to the amazing people I've met that has shared the same love for the show, and of course, staying up late to look at spoilers and listen to songs.

Of course, I can't forget bad memories, too. Hearing about the death of Cory Monteith was truly a horrifying experience. I was in a diner with my family when a family member texted me about it. I honestly thought it was a bullshit story that someone in the media had made up, so I didn't panic about it until I logged onto my tumblr and saw it for myself. It was a moment for me that made me realize that no matter how much you love your heroes, they're still human. It was hardest thing the glee fandom had ever had to go through, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that we miss Cory every day.

I'm sorry if this letter isn't perfect or if it doesn't sound very put together. I've been having so many thoughts about the end of glee these past few months and now that it's here, I'm left sort of at a loss for words. I feel like long after I post this, I'll end up wanting to change it because I left out something important.

This fandom just means so much to me. I've watched an amazing cast and crew grow together for the past six years, and in return, I've gotten to watch myself do the same. I'm not saying I'm a totally confident person because of a TV show, but it's definitely affected me in ways that have changed the way I look at myself and others.

Really, the main thing I wanted to say here was thank you. Thank you to the amazing cast and crew that have poured their heart and soul into the making of this show, thank you for the great (and bad) times we've experienced because of it, thank you to the people I've met.

It's so hard to say goodbye to something when you're not ready. On another personal note (whoops sorry), I'll be in college in September. It will be the first time in six years that Glee won't be on the air. I'll be in a new setting and I won't have it to comfort me when I'm feeling lost or confused or left out. But because of this show, I'm now inspired to go out and find things for myself to make me feel comfortable, which is what Glee is really all about: finding joy and comfort from within, no matter who you are.

It's been such an amazing six years. Thank you all for sharing this experience with me.