Disclaimer: I don't own jack
Summary: He never wanted to feel anything, yet there she was. Piercing through him with a single glance.
Pairing: Okita/Kagome
Suggested Listening: Be There by Krewella
Beneath the Moonlight
Chapter One: Piercing
June 1862
Okita trudged through the thick patch of forestry that surrounded Edo. A bottle of sake hung heavily at his hip. He wanted to drown himself in it but he knew that he couldn't. The young man's lips twisted at the thought. Damn it all. Questions swam through his mind. What could he have done differently? How much more dedication could he show to prove himself worthy once and for all? His hand dropped to the bottle's cap. He really needed a drink.
His grip tightened as the sounds of a cheerful celebration filled his ears. The guys were going to drink themselves stupid tonight. As for him, he didn't want to hang around them. At least not for that reason.
Okita made his way deeper into the forest. He didn't want to be disturbed right now. Hell he didn't even want to look at anyone else. His gaze tipped towards the tree-blocked sky. Tendrils of moonlight filtered through the boughs onto the mossy earth. There was something peaceful about this place. Something that called him here night after night. He'd made a habit of going out for the last week or two, so his absence would not draw concern.
He stopped in his tracks. Upon the slight breeze, he caught the sound of music playing serenely. His brows furrowed. Was someone else out here too? He nearly turned around. Except the softness of the music settled into his consciousness. It was soothing—much like the lullaby a mother would sing for their child. Perhaps out of curiosity, Okita pushed deeper within.
His gaze landed on a young woman. Nestled amongst the mossy grass of the forest, the sleeves of her pale blue kimono billowed in the gentle summer breeze. She was a few years shy of himself. Her back was facing him but he could spy the edge of her features. A calm expression settled over her as she continued to play the bamboo flute within her hands. The tune was vaguely familiar. An old lullaby perhaps? He leaned against the trunk of a nearby tree. He folded his arms over his chest and merely listened.
Okita closed his eyes. What was it about this peacefulness that drew him in? The music stopped abruptly. He opened his eyes to gaze over at her.
"Done already?" A genial smile pulled at his lips. "It was nice."
The young woman turned to face him. Azure eyes became clouded with suspicion. Her posture grew tense as her hands gripped at the flute even more tightly. There was something about her piercing glare that caused his mind to stop in its tracks. For a moment, it felt as if she were seeing straight through to the very fabric of his soul. The man shook away the notion. That was ridiculous.
Okita raised his hands, "I wasn't out looking for trouble. I just heard music and decided to investigate." He gestured towards the instrument. "Do you enjoy it?"
She relaxed somewhat but an air of cautiousness still surrounded her.
"Yes, my father gave this to me." Her eyes lowered to it. The feeling slowly ebbed away the second she turned from him. "I usually play it when I get the chance, just so I never truly forget." She cocked her head to the side. "What's your name?"
His smile became teasing, "Tell me yours first, then I might give you mine."
She blinked then laughed softly. It was a nice sound. Okita unfolded his arms. He kept his distance to avoid startling her. Her caution was well warranted given these times. He wouldn't give her a reason to distrust him. Besides, he wanted to hear more of that music.
"I suppose you're right." She straightened her posture, "Pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Higurashi Kagome." She bowed politely to him. If he were some sort of lord then he might've been impressed with her impeccable manners. However he was not. He was just some broke samurai's orphan who'd been dropped off at the first dojo his sister could find. It was a miracle he'd even survived as long as he did. There was a flicker of concern over the woman's features—as if she were reading the nuances of his thoughts. His stomach curled strangely at the notion, however he chose to ignore it.
Okita stifled his laughter, "Damn you're so formal. You can relax a bit, you know." He pushed off the trunk and began to approach her slowly. "The name's Okita Souji. Nice to meet you too." He kept the grin upon his lips, easing away the tension between them.
Kagome looked from him to the bottle of sake at his hip.
"You're drinking alone in the forest?" Her brows knitted together, as if the thought bothered her.
He waved his hand, "Nah, not drinking yet. Besides, I can take care of myself." She cast him a concerned glance. He'd expected her to nag him or tell him that he was courting disaster. Instead he felt the softness of her fingertips upon his cheek, forcing him to meet her eyes.
"You're upset."
Okita blinked. Did she just..? His mind came crashing to a halt at the feeling of her palm splaying over his face. It was warm and soft and welcoming. A sharp contrast to the rough-and-tumble contact he'd grown used to at Shiei Hall. There it was again. That same look. It burned and pierced through him. Leaving nothing unturned save for the scorched earth that'd once been the root for his heart. The men often told him that he was ruthless. The truth was that he was simply cautious. Years of pain had built nearly impenetrable walls of distrust around his heart. Yet here he was now. Not even five minutes and this woman had torn them down as if they were nothing. They'd just met and she was already turning his world upside down. Curiosity along with a feeling of comfort washed over him. His shoulders slumped. She was right. He was upset.
"I'll be fine." The young man stated after a long moment. He made no move to break the contact between them. Maybe he was feeling weak, but there was a certain sensation of belonging her touch was bringing him. Her palm seemed to speak with its softness. It spoke only of a word that contained images of warmth, love and acceptance. It spoke home.
Kagome cast him a disbelieving look. She didn't push him though. Instead of forcing an answer out of him, she lifted her flute and offered it to him.
"Would you like to try? It helps me think more clearly when something's bothering me." The kindness in her voice encouraged him to take her up on the suggestion.
Okita opened his palm. The flute felt incredibly light in comparison to its size. Once, many years ago, he'd played one just like this. Of course that was back when he could still recall his mother's voice. When he could still see her maternal expression of concern. When he could still feel her arms wrapped around him. He brought the instrument to his lips. Taking a breath, he began to play the tune his mother used to sing for him.
Kagome dropped her hands away. She stood beside him. He could feel her eyes upon him as he continued. The song was a short one but she remained riveted by it. His eyes slid to her. A calm expression settled over her soft features. Her hands were cupped over her heart. There was a certain image of frailty to her in that moment—as if she'd break at the slightest touch. His brows furrowed. It was such a sharp contrast against the piercing gaze of her eyes. Was it possible for someone to be simultaneously so strong yet so weak? A realization hit him in that moment.
Okita finished, passing the flute back into her hands. A small smile played upon his lips.
"You're upset too."
Kagome didn't try to hide it. Her smile was soft, "Does that make us a pair?"
He grinned, "Do you want us to be?" Maybe it was because the image of that sad little smile twisted his stomach; or perhaps because she'd been the first woman outside of his family willing to touch him. The few nights of intimacy he'd had were not about the warmth of sharing hands. It was merely the skin deep need he'd sated. With her there was something more substantial that bubbled beneath the surface—a tension that was rising more quickly than he was comforted by. Whatever the case, Okita knew that he didn't wish for her to remain upset as she was.
A stark flush of color went across her features. His smile turned coy. It was a cute look on her.
"Okita-…" Kagome started. However he was quick to interrupt.
"Souji is fine. I'm not a huge fan of formalities."
She nodded, "Souji," She spoke his name for the first time. It caused his stomach to give that same curl as it did before. His body subtly relaxed at the soft inflection of her voice. "Would you like to join me?" Kagome gestured towards an opened furoshiki. He observed a small box of food meant for a single person. "It's not much but better than nothing."
Okita smiled slowly, "I'd love to."
He followed after her. Between onigiri, he learned a few things about the woman.
"So you're traveling?" He swallowed after finishing his question.
Kagome nodded, "Yes. I'm with a few people now but I needed some time to myself."
His mind drifted towards the faint sounds of the celebration still going on. They weren't that far inside the forest so he was still able to hear some of the jeering from his fellow companions. The pit in his stomach twisted once more—this time a cold, sickening sensation caused him to grimace. He should be happy for Hijikata, but instead all he could feel was the bitter taste of envy.
"I get you." He lifted the bottle of sake. "Feel like sharing a cup with me?"
Her face heated once more. His lips quirked up at the sight. At least he had good company for this sour moment in his life. For an instant, he briefly pondered if she was single. He tried to shake the thought from his mind.
"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." Her eyes darted towards a dark patch in the forest as if cautiously searching for someone. Then just as quickly she glanced back at the proffered cup. He didn't miss the nervous trill that her voice took on. Strange, had he ever noticed simple nuances like that before? Certainly not with Saito or Hijikata. Kagome continued, "I've never really drank before." Her hands curled around the ceramic object tentatively. The slight calluses of her fingertips brushed over his knuckles as he passed it to her.
"So you're saying that I'll have the honor of sharing your drinking debut?" He popped the cap with his thumb. The man tried to shake the worries from her mind. Even if it was a temporary solution, he knew that he could at least offer her some measure of escape from her fears. "I can't think of a single thing that'd be better than this." So perhaps he was laying it on a little thick. The woman was bound to call him on his shit if he kept this up. Still, he rather enjoyed spending this time with her. It was better than being alone. Flashes of searing pain, youthful jeers and a sting of hatred threatened to spill to the forefront of his mind. Never again would he be that helpless boy.
"Souji," Her voice came out small, hardly even audible above the distant noise of cheering. "You don't have to give false compliments."
His smile slid away at that. False compliments? For the first time he studied her—truly studied her. Kagome's frame was gaunt and thin, as if she hadn't eaten properly in several days. There was also a paleness to her face that was nearly frightening. More than that, her eyes were haunted by the shadow of self-doubt. He'd seen that look before. Women especially were prone to it, but this seemed to be on a whole other level. She fluctuated from meeting his gaze to staring absently into her cup, her azure eyes losing some of the piercing edge they'd had before.
"Kagome," He chose to use her first name. Her shoulders jumped as she tilted her head to meet his eyes. The slight flush of her face told him more than any words ever could. Was she unused to the sound of her own name? "When you said that you needed time away from your group, what did you mean exactly?"
Okita knew that he was digging too deep. He was a curious man by nature. As such he often had a habit of pushing his boundaries far beyond what he should. In this case, Kagome stared into her cup with a strained expression.
"It's complicated."
"I can listen." He didn't give up. Something about the way her eyes flickered bothered him. He wasn't the kind of man who grew attached to others easily. Yet there was something about her that drew his interest. There was something in the vulnerability that poured from her that flamed his old instincts.
Kagome gave a soft hum of contemplation, "I'd like to talk about it sometime." A tiny smile pulled at her lips. "But for now I just want to relax. Is that alright?"
She dodged him. At least for now. That was alright. He could be patient when it mattered the most. He'd bide his time and slowly work his way through her defenses, just as she'd done to him. Okita allowed his smile to warm.
"Fine by me, now let's drink." He poured her cup. The young woman then turned to fill his. They tipped the ceramic cups against each other. "Cheers."
"Cheers." Kagome took a drink. Her face contorted for a moment. The slight pinch of her brow was the only outward sign of discomfort she showed. "It burns more than I thought it would." She finally stated, setting the cup down. He had to give her credit. At least she hadn't started coughing.
Okita laughed heartily, "That's because I only get the good stuff." His grin turned teasing. "Come on, let's keep going." He poured her a second glass. The young woman smiled at his eager display. Much to his pleasure, she obliged his request.
Drink after drink, Okita slowly began to lose count of how many he'd actually had. All he knew was that he felt warm and he had good company with him.
"Souji, you should stop." Kagome took the bottle from his hands.
His lips pulled into a pout, "But I don't want to." So maybe he was a little drunk. Not that it mattered much anyways. "Hey, one more. Then I'll stop."
Her eyes narrowed on him, "Absolutely not. You're slurring."
His lips grinned more widely, "So are you." As much as she tried to hide it, Kagome was definitely drunk. Probably not as much as him but it was still noticeable enough. He could hear the slight slurring of her speech and see the soft flush across her cheeks. It was cute.
"Oh hush."
"You slurred that too."
Okita felt a small rush of pride as her blush darkened. He'd never grow tired of that sort of reaction. Even by men's standards, he'd always been quite popular with the women. They wouldn't touch him at least not the way a woman wanted to touch a male they loved. There was sex, but there was no affection. They were drawn to him much like a moth was to a flame. Attracted to the fire and heat and searing pain that followed. He couldn't account much for their tastes but that didn't mean that he hadn't indulged in their wanton needs from time to time. In this case there was something about Kagome's vulnerability that drew him in.
He really had to be drunk by now.
"Come on, kid." He beckoned for her to sit beside him. "Last round. I promise." He held up his pinky for extra measure. Kagome peered at him cautiously.
"You promise?"
He nodded once, holding his pinky up higher, "What do you think this is for?"
Her features broke out into a wide smile. Okita blinked. That was the first time tonight he'd seen it. He wouldn't deny that he'd always had a fascination for those with the charm of innocence. With that smile, he saw more than just youthful naivety. There was something truly embracing about it. He felt at ease. A warmth filled his expression.
"That smile suits you." The words escaped before he could stop them. Damn, maybe Kagome was right about having too much to drink. He really needed to keep his mouth shut. She settled in by his side. Okita poured their last round of drinks. This time he slipped his arm around her shoulders and tugged her against his side.
She glanced up at him curiously.
"Gotta make this the good one." He gestured towards their drinks. He knew he was pushing this boundary too far. Still he enjoyed having her by him. Maybe it was the alcohol talking but he wanted to feel her next to him. He wanted to feel some measure of closeness with her. It was absurd and his logical mind was already railing against him. They'd both regret this in the morning.
Kagome surprised him by sinking into his partial embrace. He felt her cheek press against his shoulder. His arm tightened.
"Bottom's up." Okita took the last bit of sake. It burned at his throat and seared its way down. "Man that never gets old." He felt her shudder beside him as she took another drink. Was it too strong for her? It was her first time after all.
Kagome set her cup down. Her eyes started to close as her breathing evened. The man blinked. Oh, she was falling asleep. A slow smile pulled across his lips. It looked as if they weren't going to be going anywhere else for the night.
"You're gonna get cold like that." Okita shifted to wrap one of his arms around her waist and the other behind her head. "Let's get some rest." He pulled her partially into his lap, securing her against him as he did. The slight edging of concern formed in the pit of his stomach. He was taking more liberties than he should right now. In this case the woman hardly had the energy to keep her eyes open. Her head pillowed itself limply against him. The concern came back in full force. She could hardly make out their surroundings. He didn't feel comfortable leaving her on her own. She was vulnerable. At the very least having her so near would deter any would be attackers. His brows furrowed at the thought.
It wasn't a pleasant notion. Bandits were still a pain in the ass in this region. They'd ravaged the entire countryside. Even having days in which the villages hired their assistance to drive out the bastards hadn't done much to keep them away. Large groups of them still lurked in forests such as these. Places that would allow them to be near trading routes while remaining out of reach from the law's long hand. Okita took a breath through his nose. He'd keep vigil for now.
"You're warm." Kagome sighed into his shoulder after a long moment. He felt her bury her face into the crook of his neck, "… and smell nice."
Okita wasn't sure how to respond to that. However soon she was fast asleep. The warmth of her breath was even against his skin—drawing up images of her lying prone beneath him. He shook the thought. Absolutely not. He was not going to go down that route.
He held his vigil, his eyes keeping a close watch for anything suspicious. It'd been a long time since he felt connected to someone. The last person was Kondou and that was for an entirely different reason. His hold on her tightened. Tomorrow he'd ask her more questions. There was something he needed answered. Namely if she was single. If she wasn't, well he'd deal with that when he got there.
His lips quirked up at the thought. Regardless of what had transpired back at Shiei Hall, his night definitely turned out better than he'd expected. At least he got to technically sleep with a woman. A cute one at that. It'd been some time since he last shared his bed with someone. Although in this case there was no sex involved or a futon—the only thing they were currently sharing between each other was a sense of an impending separation and the deeply penetrating warmth of each other's presence. His gaze drifted towards her peaceful expression. It was the first time he'd truly noticed it but the dark bags shadowing her eyes were frightfully prominent. His brows furrowed. Was she not sleeping properly? She did mention that she didn't get along with the group she was with. He hardly knew the woman. They were strangers—just passerbys in each other's lives. He shouldn't care but the nagging of the image left a sore spot in his chest. He interlaced his fingers through the thick tendrils of her hair, combing through each one in an almost soothing manner. Whether it was for himself or for her, he didn't quite know.
Okita pressed his cheek atop the crown of her head. He'd investigate more in the morning. For now, he was just grateful he had this moment. It was more than enough to make him happy. His life had been filled to the brim with pain, suffering and a lingering sense of solitude. Tonight had been the first time anyone had seen through him with such clarity. Kondou was a wonderful man but he never possessed the type of instinctual understanding that Kagome seemed to. How did she do that? His jaw clenched somewhat at the notion. It unsettled him. Okita slowly closed his eyes. Tomorrow he'd have his chance. For now, this was all he could do. Consciousness left him as his mind became lost to the land of hopes and dreams.
When next he woke, he found that his arms were strangely empty. Okita jumped at the realization. His eyes darted around the area, searching for his seemingly lost companion.
"Did I startle you?" Kagome's voice intoned from behind him. He turned to face her, his heart calming somewhat after the initial shock.
The man plastered on a smooth smile, "Now what makes you say that?" He'd always been good at being dishonest. At least to a certain degree. He could never hide from Kondou due to the respect he felt for the man. However no one else was ever able to break through his façade. Not even Hijikata had been able to decipher when he was being truthful or when he was peppering in a few white lies. He'd liked to think of himself skilled in the art of deception.
"You're lying. You were startled." The young woman announced with confidence. She circled him predatorily, her hands clasped behind her back. "I can see it you know." She stopped, poking his cheek with her index finger. "You have this clench right here." She poked him again. "My brother used to do that when he lied."
Okita blinked. Did he really? He moved his jaw reflexively.
"You have an older brother?" He tried to steer the direction of their conversation back to her. He wanted to know more about her. About her family, her life and what had brought her here.
Kagome began to poke both of his cheeks in a playful manner, "Younger, actually. He's probably around twelve right now." He reached up and took her hands within his. They felt so small by comparison. She continued, "Souta's probably joined a dojo by now. Last I heard he said that he wanted to join one called Shiei Hall. Not sure if he ever went through with it though."
That caught his attention. Shiei Hall? Had they picked up any recruits by the name of Souta? He'd have to check it out after he got back.
"You're not in contact?" The way she'd worded her response had been strange. It caused a feeling of foreboding to twist in his stomach.
Her smile turned wry, "Something like that." A story she couldn't tell was written into the tightness of her expression. "In any case I should be getting back. The others might start looking for me soon." Kagome stopped, her eyes scanning him with a contemplative expression. "You know, for a drinking debut that was fun. Thanks for last night, Souji."
His grin turned coy, "Feel like having a repeat?" Only he'd prefer it if it didn't involve their clothes this time. He tried to divert his thoughts before they spiraled.
She laughed, "Oh no, I couldn't. Besides we're leaving Edo today. Apparently we've got to start making our way north for a bit." The young woman stretched her hands high into the air, arching her back as she did so. Okita wouldn't deny the attractive image she made.
"Where are you guys headed?" He folded his arms over his chest. If she wasn't going to be in Edo then he at least wanted to know how to contact her. He didn't want this connection to fade into nothingness so easily.
Kagome tipped her head towards the sky, "Not sure. Last I checked they wanted to head towards Aomori but that could always change."
Okita cocked his head to the side. Aomori? That was a hell of a ways from Edo.
Her lips curled up into a teasing smile, "Are you asking for permission to write me?"
He grinned back, "Why not?"
The laugh she gave was one full of mirth—the kind that caused his expression to soften if only just a little. In a single night he'd found someone capable of reading through him in a single glance. It was odd but pleasant. He wanted to see where this path would lead.
Kagome clasped her hands behind her back, "We may travel a lot but we usually stop in Kanna Village to rest." She smiled even wider at him. "So if you decide that you're in the mood to write, you can send them there."
Okita wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her flush into his chest. A bright blush covered her cheeks as he dipped his mouth towards the shell of her ear.
"I think I just might." The man trailed his fingers along the sensual curve of her spine, enjoying the way she shivered pleasantly against his touch. A slight hint of sake still tinted her breath. "You can find me as Shiei Hall."
Azure eyes snapped to his in shock. Her mouth opened partially before the sound of someone calling her name echoed in the distance. His brows furrowed. It sounded like a male. The sharp twist in his gut was cold like a blade slicing clean through him. His expression grew sharp. In an instant he felt those tiny, soft hands upon him once more. Her palms splayed affectionately across his cheeks, pulling him down until their lips touched. Kagome's eyes were closed as her brows pinched together with her desperation. Her lips were soft and moved fast against him—denoting a level of panic at the interruption. Okita tightened his grip on her, shifting his hand to cradle the back of her head.
He slanted his mouth over hers more evenly, pushing his tongue at the seam of her lips aggressively. He couldn't deny the attraction he felt. The odd strings pulling at him aside, she was the type of woman he usually found himself drawn to. The kindness accompanied by a sense of innocence. Somehow the sake seemed to taste so sweet. A silent gasp escaped her lips as he backed her into the thick tree trunk. Her hands clutched at his haori with a white-knuckled grip. He took advantage of the surprise and slipped past the seam of her lips—devouring, exploring and dominating.
Okita hardly noticed when her hands slipped away. He didn't pay attention as something cool touched the back of his neck followed by the searing heat of her touch. Had they always been that warm? He curled his fingers around her head a little more, taking pleasure in the faint scent of a meadow and wildflowers that emanated from her. It reminded him of spring and youth and everything warm.
Kagome drew back first. He reluctantly allowed her to. His arms circled around her more protectively as the masculine voice grew louder. Whoever it was, was getting closer to their temporary sanctuary. He pressed his forehead against hers.
"Souji," The sound of his name upon her lips caused a shiver to run down his spine. "I should go but first." Her hand dropped down from his shoulders over the planes of his chest intimately. Images of her nude form splayed beneath his resurfaced with renewed vigor. That time he couldn't deny the desire it'd inspired in him.
"Take this with you." At her words he took the chance to peer down. Around his neck was a simple string. It looked fairly old—the ends frayed but still strong enough to hold a fragment of something at the center of its oblong shape. "It gave me hope when I needed it the most. Maybe it'll be your guiding light as well." Her fingers drew away, revealing a small coral-colored fragment of something glass-like. A jewel perhaps?
Kagome stepped out of his arms. The summer's humid breeze grew cold. Had a summer ever been this chilly before? His fingers dropped to his sides, flexing instinctively.
Another smile graced the young woman's lips. This time it was neither sad nor bright; just the faint parting of someone he'd just met.
"I'll write soon."
With that she was gone. All that was left in her wake was the searing heat of her touch and a cold feeling of something empty. His fingers brushed across the sharp edges of she shard she'd given him.
"Soon it is." Okita gathered up the bottle of sake. He retied it to his hip as he made his way back towards the dojo. As he walked, the faint scent of a meadow and wildflowers clung to his clothing. His mouth quirked up into a faint smile. He'd find her again. One way or another, he wouldn't let this be the last meeting they'd have. His mind went back to the brother. First he needed to find him. Higurashi Souta.
"That shouldn't be too hard."
A/n: This originally started out as a snippet that has now morphed into a pet project fic. Namely the goal is for me to keep it around five chapters in length. So I'm sort of challenging myself a bit here with balancing pacing and development to meet the right amount of each for the story to flow properly. I'd noticed that things tend to drag a bit more than they should in OPAH so I'm using this as something to practice my ability to balance both aspects without losing sight of what's most important about the story itself. Anyways, let me know what you guys think. I always liked the idea of a love at first sight theme but I do like some twists and turns with it as well. XD