A/N: writing fanfiction for a kid's cartoon... this is what my life has become guys.

anyway, hi, call me queenstiel or hails! this is my first time writing for invader zim. hopefully I somehow manage to keep everyone in character. ;;

alrighty, so, a few notes before we begin.

first things first, although I haven't decided yet there will most likely be ZaDr in the future, although the majority of the fic is ZaDf. If that bothers you, you're still more than welcome to read, but I am warning you now.

I'd like to clarify that Dib is 18, Gaz is 17, and Zim is between 165-168. I tried to create a somewhat consistent timeline so forgive me if any ages are inaccurate.

Next, this fic does feature an OC, but she's not a very big part of the plot. The original draft of this fic featured a lot more scenes with her, but I cut out a lot of them so that she didn't take too much from the main story. Depending on how well this story does, I may write a side story for her.

Although it's not necessary, I would recommend that you watch the script readings of 'Mopiness of Doom' and 'The Trial' from InvaderCon before reading this. There are several references to these episodes throughout the fic. It's debatable as to whether or not they're considered canon since they never aired, but oh well. This is a fanfic, none of this is canon. Again, not necessary but highly recommended. You can find them on YouTube.

I didn't mark this fic as mature because I don't plan on including any sex scenes. I only rate my fics at an M rating if there's any smut, which in this case, there isn't. But still, I know that there are a lot of younger fans in the IZ fanbase, so for you guys, be warned that despite the T rating, this fic is very heavy on cursing, violence, and disturbing themes.

Lastly, I will try to update this fic weekly. I'm juggling four classes right now AND a fic for another fandom, so I'm kinda swamped with work, but the good news is I already have most of this fic written. Also, in regards to reviews, I do respond to every review I get, as I'm always thankful to hear what you guys think. I'll respond to user reviews with a PM and guest reviews in the author's notes, so if the rest of you don't want to read them, feel free to skip them and head straight to the chapter.

Okay, I think that covers everything! Without further adieu, enjoy chapter one!

It's no surprise to Dib that, even after seven years of failure, Zim is still trying to take over the world.

After seven long years of being his enemy (even though now they were more along the lines of reluctant friends), he came to learn a lot about the alien, and if there was one thing that he knew for sure, it was that Zim didn't know the definition of the words "quit" or "give up". He was relentless, hatching one ridiculous scheme right after the other. If one plan failed, the next would come to take its place.

Yet every time, Dib has successfully managed to stop it. (Okay, he couldn't take all of the credit, because there were times when Zim had saved the Earth from his own stupid plans). But for the most part, the only reason that the human race hadn't been either destroyed or enslaved was thanks to Dib, and to Zim's own idiocy. And the fact that he's still received no credit for any of it eats at him to this day. Sure, heroes don't do what they do for the credit, but Dib has stopped seeing himself as a hero and more as a guy just doing a job, since it was clear that no one else was going to do it. And he's not gonna lie, it'd be nice to, just once, hear someone say "Wow Dib, thanks for saving the human race". Or something along those lines.

Throughout his years of battling with Zim, he's also learned that one of two things is true: either Zim is really good at hiding his identity, or the human race is just… really fucking stupid. And he knows that Zim is not, in fact, good at hiding his alien identity. At all. His skin is fucking green. He has no ears. The fact that anyone can even question it is honestly astonishing to Dib. Zim probably could've picked from a million other, better disguises, but went with a stupid wig and stupid contacts because… well, he's stupid. But the human race is definitely ten times stupider, because the fact that no one can tell that Zim is an alien from a mile away is just downright amazing to Dib. And not in the good way.

Of course, Gaz knows. Sure, she's never really believed in the paranormal like he did, but even she could see that Zim was an alien. The problem was that she just didn't really care.

"He could destroy THE WORLD, Gaz."

"So? Let him, the human race sucks anyways."

"How can you say that?"

"It's not like he's actually gonna be able to do it, since you're obsessing over him all the time."

"I-I am not! I'm merely keeping an eye on him. That's sort of my job as his arch nemesis."

"Uh-huh. And besides, Zim's too stupid to actually succeed in taking over the world."

It was only years later when Dib was starting to see that perhaps Gaz was right. Sure, Zim could maybe get away with killing a few thousand people, maybe taking over a city or two, but realistically speaking, his idiotic projects could never be enough to successfully take down seven billion humans. Zim had the technology, no doubt about it, he just lacked the skills.

He had to give Zim some credit, because some of his plans might have actually succeeded if Dib hadn't done anything. But Dib doubted that Zim would be able to keep control of Earth for long, if he ever did succeed. Some more powerful aliens would come along and take it from him just because they could. Earth would become a product on the market for invasion.

As a child, Dib saw himself as some sort of hero, savior of the Earth, and craved the attention he was deprived of during his childhood. And now, Dib realized that the only one who ever gave him that attention was Zim. Zim took him seriously, saw him as a threat, and actively fought against him to protect himself. Now, however, it felt more like a game to him than anything, especially since Zim's plans were less about taking over the Earth and more about getting back at Dib. It was like cat and mouse, one always chasing after the other. Yet even when they had both come within mere seconds of killing the other, they could never complete the job.

If Zim really wanted to kill Dib, he could've done it by now. Besides, the alien had already stated (rather indirectly, but still) that Dib was what made his plans entertaining, and without him, he simply didn't see the point.

And as for Dib, he had stopped trying to get the world to see Zim for what he really was. It was clear that the human race was choosing to turn a blind eye. Whether it be out of ignorance or fear he wasn't sure, but it didn't really matter anymore. Now, he was just doing his job, playing the game like it's meant to be played because Zim. Never. Gives . Up.

Dib would admire that about him, if he weren't a crazy alien.

He wondered if Zim himself had finally realized that his plans were growing more and more ridiculous as the years passed, if that was even possible. Probably not, since they kept on coming, but Dib had realized that Zim's plans were more focused on him than they ever had been before. His hatred for Dib seemed to get to him so much that he felt the need to make separate plans for the sole purpose of killing him. The inner child in him was both overjoyed and strangely flattered at the thought.

However, despite his seemingly natural hatred of Zim, he had always been secretly fascinated with his species and his alien technology. He wanted to know everything about the Irken race. Of course, Zim wouldn't tell him, but Dib had been able to get a few things out of him that he wasn't really able to hide. There was his aversion to meat and his allergies to most human food (except waffles, for some strange reason). There was also his reaction to water, as it was acidic to Irken skin.

There was Tak's ship, which yes, he was still working on. He had already worked out most of the kinks, but with Tak's fiery personality being pre-downloaded onto the ship, it was a work in progress. Most days, the ship wouldn't even let Dib come near it. He had to shut down the mainframe to do any sort of work on it.

He was hoping that, with enough work and preparation, he could get it ready for a journey across the stars. Of course, journeying into space for a nice vacation would probably be impossible, as Zim would most likely be right behind him, trying desperately to take him down.

Must he try and take all the joy from my life?

Speaking of joy.

It was graduation day.

Today, he was graduating from high school.

It was almost like a dream.

He was worried for a while that he wouldn't make it through school, as his never-ending battle with Zim put both a physical and mental strain on him. There were times when he seriously considered quitting to turn 'chasing after Zim' into a full-time gig. His father would've had a fit, however, because if there was one thing it was adamant about, it was school.

"Education is the future, and no child of mine is going to live in a world without a proper education!"

Surprisingly, Zim was graduating today too. Not that he really cared much; he wasn't a resident of this planet so graduating high school really wouldn't mean all that much to him. Dib was shocked that he had actually bothered to complete school all the way, as he claimed that he was just in school to "observe". Dib had asked him about it once, during their sophomore year when they were (again) stuck in most of the same classes.

"Why the hell are you still in school anyway? I thought you said you were just 'observing'."

"Stupid Dib, I've not yet completed my observations. Besides, I have to be able to keep a constant eye on you, in case you once again try to sabotage one of my brilliant plans."

Contrary to what Dib would have expected, as time passed, Zim actually started to try in school. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was actually pretty fucking smart. Zim passed his classes with flying colors. He couldn't understand what was suddenly motivating Zim to care about how he did in school, but it had started to piss him off. And so, not long after that, their rivalry had spread to that of an academic one, with Dib doing his best to outdo Zim in all of his subjects.

"I don't get it. You're not even from Earth! How do you know so much about Earth stuff?!"

"Easy Dib-stink, I pay attention."

"No you don't! You just sit there mumbling about how much you hate us all and that you want to go home."

"So do you!"

"…Touché."

He never did find out how Zim did it, but at this point, he didn't really care. He was graduating today. He was in way too good of a mood to let anything bother him. He was just hoping and praying to whatever gods were out there that Zim didn't fuck this up for him. For once, he wanted something in his life to go normally. Zim could start the fucking apocalypse if he wanted to, it just had to wait until after Dib walked off that stage with his freaking diploma, damn it.

"Attention all seniors, please report to the main lobby at this time."

Show time.

He followed his classmates out the door in a single file line, and surprise surprise, there was none other than Zim behind him, that usual scowl ever present on his stupid green face. He tried to pay the alien no mind, as he wanted to take in the sight of his high school for the very last time. But he couldn't help but be on high alert. Zim could easily have something planned for today, and he wanted to be prepared in case he had to save the world again.

Truth be told, while the high school was dingy and gross and only brought Dib horrid memories of bullying and exclusion, he was going to miss it. It gave him a sense of belonging, a sense of responsibility (other than saving the world from Zim). And without that, he almost felt… empty.

That stupid, nasally voice that he unfortunately knew all too well brought him out of his reverie. "Dib-human!"

He heaved a heavy sigh, intent on ignoring the small Irken. He leaned up against the wall as he waited alongside his classmates to be called outside for the ceremony.

"Helloooooooo, Dib-human, are you ignoring me?! How dare you ignore Zim!"

"My name's not 'Dib-human'. It's just Dib," Dib coolly reminded him, not bothering to spare the alien a glance.

Zim waved a dismissive hand. "Whatever. You are familiar with humans and their filthy customs, correct?"

"Yeah, and your point?"

"Inform me of what's going on today. Why am I being forced to wear this hideous attire?" The small alien flapped his arms, the sleeves of his black gown covering his hands entirely. This managed to catch Dib's attention, and when he looked down at the alien flapping his arms wildly, he couldn't help but chuckle. Despite the fact that Zim had grown considerably since they were kids, Dib still towered over him, and that gown was far too big for him.

"It's graduation, you idiot. Today's our last day of school."

Zim's demeanor seemed to change entirely. His eyes went wide with surprise. "Last… day? You mean it ends?"

"Of course it ends; no one goes to school forever."

"…I see."

Dib opened his mouth to threaten the alien, to warn him that if he tried anything, he would seriously fuck him up, but decided against it, not wanting to give him any ideas. Perhaps, and this was just a thought, but perhaps Zim really didn't have any evil plans for today. Perhaps he could rest easy.

"That still doesn't explain this gown. And this stupid hat. This… thingy is hanging in my face!" Zim gestured to the tassel with an annoyed huff. Since the hat came so far down on his head, the tassel was sitting right by his chin.

"It's just tradition, Zim. It's what we wear for the ceremony."

"Ceremony? What kind of ceremony?"

Dib picked up on the fearful tone in his voice. "We're just getting our diplomas. You walk on the stage when your name is called, grab your diploma, shake a few hands, and sit back down. No big deal."

"Shake… hands? You mean engage in physical contact with disgusting humans? No thanks. You can keep your dee-plo-ma. I don't want it."

Dib shrugged. "Suit yourself. But you might as well just do it, I mean, you've come this far already. In fact, I think you've accomplished more 'human things' anyway."

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

"How dare you," he snarled, glaring up at Dib dangerously from underneath the rim of his grad cap. "How dare you insinuate that I am anything even remotely close to a human?! The Irkens are a proud, great race, far superior to humans and every other race in the galaxy! And I won't stand for a vile human insulting my people-"

"Easy, easy!" Dib threw his hands up defensively. "I'm not trying to start a fight right now, jeez. How the hell was I insulting your people? All I said was that you're becoming more and more-"

"Irkens could never be anywhere near the disgusting filth known as human beings. I-"

"All seniors, please report to the football field for the ceremony."

Zim cursed under his breath, probably in the Irken language as Dib didn't recognize it, and pointed a gloved finger up at him. "This isn't over. We will finish this discussion later."

So far, the ceremony had gone on without incident.

They were reading down the list of names. They were going in alphabetical order, so Dib had a little ways to go before he would be called up to walk the stage. He had to admit, he wasn't really as nervous as he thought he would be. He had imagined all sorts of nightmare scenarios in his head. What if he tripped and fell? What if his name didn't get called? What if no one clapped for him when he got his diploma? And of course, the worst of them all, what if Zim attacked during the ceremony?

However, Zim seemed relatively quiet. Too quiet, in fact. Something was definitely up.

"You're staring, Dib-stink."

Dib blinked. Had he been staring? "Sorry."

Zim narrowed his eyes. "I understand that you feel compelled to stare at me, my face is rather enthralling, but I can't think of my next evil plan if you're staring. It's weird."

Dib nearly choked on his own saliva. The absolute nerve-!

"That is so not why I was staring. But wait, why are you thinking of your next evil plan right now?!"

Zim shrugged. "Dunno, I'm bored and it'll be a while before they call my name. You said they do it by names, correct?"

"Yes- wait, Zim what? What even is your last name?"

"Most Irkens have no surnames. Only elite Irken soldiers are given the privilege of a surname."

"I thought you were an elite Irken soldier."

It was Zim's turn to nearly choke, and he noticed that the Irken's cheeks had taken on a light shade of purple. Was he… embarrassed? "I will be! I just have to prove myself to the Tallest, and then after they see my success, they will reward me with my rightful soldier status!"

He had met them before, and if Dib was being honest, they didn't really seem like leaders. In fact, they didn't seem to particularly care for Zim. Dib couldn't really blame them. But in all honesty, Zim's loyalty to them, even after all this time, was starting to become tiresome. Dib figured that the Tallest probably forgot about Zim, yet here he is, still babbling on about them. Did he still keep in touch with them?

Probably.

"Dib Membrane."

This was it. The moment he had been waiting for ever since he was a preschooler.

With one last glance down at Zim, he rose to his feet and made his way up to the stage. He knew that mostly everyone was looking up at him, but at that moment, he only felt one pair of eyes on him. He took his diploma, shook some hands, smiled a lot, before he quickly retreated off the stage.

If he weren't at a formal event, he would've jumped for joy.

"So this is a 'dee-plo-ma'?" Zim questioned once Dib had sat back down, gesturing to the folder in his hand.

"Yeah," Dib replied, "you'll see once you get yours. Basically it says you completed the most basic form of education."

Zim smirked at that. "Yes, human education is no match for the intelligence of Zim!"

Clearly, Dib didn't say. Zim had, shockingly, graduated with honors, which was reserved for students that exceeded the expected requirements. Dib had as well, but still, the fact that an alien was able to graduate high school at all, let alone graduate with honors, was quite surprising. And infuriating, for some reason.

"Zim grows impatient," he grumbled after a few moments, "I have more important things I could be doing right now."

Dib waved him off. He got what he needed, after all. "Then go. I don't really care if you stay or not."

Zim mumbled something about "insolent humans" before slumping back into his seat, folding his arms over his chest.

After a grueling half hour of names, Zim was pleased to hear his name finally called from the bottom of the list.

"Zim Invader."

It took all Dib had not to burst into laughter.

"Invader? That's the last name you picked?!" he asked through snorts.

"Silence! I am Zim, the great invader! It is only fitting that such a term be my given surname!" And with that, the Irken marched his way up onto the stage, swiping his diploma out of the principal's hands. Without shaking any hands, he hurried off the stage, holding up his diploma high for Dib to see. "You see Dib? Your 'high school' was no match for Zim!" He stuck his pointed tongue out at Dib before proceeding to turn around, fiddling with the communication device on his wrist. "Gir! I grow tired of this place, come get me!"

Dib could hear Gir's loud, robotic voice even from the other side of the field. "Yes Master!"

Gir arrived to retrieve Zim after the ceremony, and quite frankly, Dib wasn't sure if he should be thankful for that or not. His eleven year old self would be screaming at him right now, as this was the perfect time for Zim to make his escape without being noticed by anyone. However, he really was in way too good of a mood to care. Just for today, Zim could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

He watched as he hopped onto the little robot's back and the two of them were off, leaving a trail of smoke as they went. He guessed that, yet again, he was the only one who noticed.

Unsurprisingly, his father hadn't been there to attend his graduation. He claimed that he had really tried to make it, but there was an important meeting for today that he said he couldn't miss. However, Gaz was there, despite how uninterested she appeared to be. What was surprising to Dib was that she didn't appear to have her GameSlave with her, or her cellphone.

"Congrats, I guess," she said in a monotone voice, trying her best to sound indifferent as usual.

"Thanks. I'm glad you came."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Dad practically forced me to go."

Dib merely laughed. Figures. "Right, well, how about I take you to that new pizza place that just opened up? We can celebrate. I'll pay."

Gaz seemed to like the sound of that. So without bidding goodbye to any of his classmates, Dib drove away from his past and towards his future.