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by JinxSphinx

The story of Retsuko the Red Panda, and Haida, the hyena who loves her. Cover by Meloncholy Griffin.

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Haida was so nervous he could hardly stand still. This would be another date with Retsuko. In his rational mind he knew it would go well because they had been going out for 6 months, and had worked together and been best friends for a previous five years. But the part of his brain that controlled his feelings worried him to death that Retsuko would find something wrong and end the relationship that had grown between them.

As he stood in front of his bathroom mirror trimming his whiskers to a reasonable length and applying fur gel around his large ears, he remembered back to the first time he had finally realized he had feelings for her.

It had been on a cold day around the first of January, about 3 years after they had been hired at the company, and a huge snowfall had decided to plop its thick obstrusive bottom on the city. Traffic was slowed to a crawl and creatures were struggling to get through the knee-high snow. Some of the smaller creatures, however, were having definite trouble navigating it. Some were able to simply run across the top of the snow, but others were in it up to their waists and were simply slogging through it to try to get to where they were going.

Haida, being extremely tall, had no problems with the snow. He had come prepared for it with his steel-toed boots. He was also raised in the country as a cub, and it snowed out there, so it was no mind to him.

He remembered how he had laid his ears back and huddled down into his trenchcoat a little more against the cold, and made his way to the subway entrance, and thats when he'd heard Retsuko calling him.

"Haida!"

One of his ears went up and rotated around trying to find the source of the sound. Again:

"Haida! Hey! Could you please please please give me a hand?"

He'd glanced up and a little ways down the street a red panda was struggling her way through the snow which was up to her chest. She was holding a briefcase above her head, presumably full of work that she had taken home with her and she didn't want to get it wet.

Holding back a snicker, he'd worked his way back up the street through the offending snowdrift and took the briefcase from his friend and tucked it under his arm. Still stuck in the snowdrift, Retsuko looked up at him gratefully.

"Thank you SO much, Haida! I should never have taken this street-I tried walking across the drift and fell in! Can you help me out of here?"

Haida grinned evilly and crossed his arms.

"I don't know, Tsuko, should I?"

"Get me out of here, please!"

"Okay, okay, hang on. The only way I can lift you out is to pick you up under your arms. Is that okay with you?"

Haida had been friends with her long enough to know she was a little bit sensitive about her size and tried to respect that.

"...Sure..."

Retsuko raised her arms high and he had leaned down and scooped her up. But instead of putting her down on the ground he simply decided to carry her down the street over to the subway entrance. He didn't know why he did it, it just seemed right. Thats when everything went different. He hit a patch of ice.

Holding Retsuko in his arms and having her briefcase under one of them totally threw his balance off and he went down like a sack of potatoes. The first thing that shot through his head as he was going down was KEEP RETSUKO SAFE. As almost a reflex action, he twisted himself so he would land on his back and held her up as he hit the ground. It knocked the air out of him.

He dropped Retsuko down onto his chest and they both just stayed that way for a few seconds. She had sat up, still on him, and shook him hard.

"Oh, no, Haida, are you all right?! Haida?"

Haida raised his head and popped his eyes open.

"I'm...fine..."

Glancing up at her, Haida realized how pretty she was. Her orange fur was thick and soft, and there was still bits of snow stuck to her face. Her face markings blended into the rest of her coloring with almost the expertise of an artist, and her huge brown eyes had hints of green to them. Her blue coat and snow pants were puffed out, indicating to him that there was even more soft thick fur underneath.

He shook his head and brought himself back to his senses.

Retsuko had slid off of him and stood up, offering her hand to at least help him sit up. Haida took it and pulled himself to a sitting position, still dazed a bit. He then scooted over to a non-icy spot and stood up.

He'd glanced down at Retsuko and started laughing because she was over in a snowbank again, fishing for her briefcase and the sight was quite comical. Once again he'd fished them both out, and both headed for the subway.

As they went their separate ways to go to work, Haida snuck a glance at her tail as she walked away. Just like her face, her tail coloring blended wonderfully, and it had faint gold rings on it.

Ever since then, for 2 more years, he'd carried a torch for her. He never acted on it, not only out of respect for her but out of fear of rejection and shyness. He knew he wasn't the most attractive of individuals, he was a hyena, after all.

Haida glanced into the mirror again, and brushed his teeth. He had a couple of teeth that kind of stuck out, and his fur was kind of wiry in places, and his coloring wasn't exactly alot to be desired. He was really tall and lanky and not powerfully built.

When he had finally gotten up the nerve to confess his feelings and ask her out that day in the hospital when he was recovering from pneumonia, he had fully expected to be put down gently. But surprisingly, Retsuko was deeply flattered and accepted his offer.

He remembered how he hadn't slept a wink that night out of nerves and excitement.

And here they were, 6 months later, still going strong. Haida was truly surprised they had lasted this long. Tonight he was going to ask Retsuko to be his official girlfriend. He was on pins and needles about it. He wasn't sure how to go about it though. He didn't want it to be awkward, but he didn't want to go sappy with it either. Either way, he knew the opportunity would present itself.

Usually on their dates, they would each pick something they wanted to do that evening. Tonight for him would just be them grabbing a beer or two and hanging out. He was a little bit short on funds this time around, and he wanted to save his money for whatever Retsuko wanted to do. They had a system where each one would take turns paying for the date night. Tonight it was his turn.

Haida glanced up at the clock. He still had a couple of hours until he had to go meet Retsuko at the subway station. Finishing up in the bathroom, he ran a brush through his neck and shoulder fur and found a clean t-shirt and his usual black jeans and socks.

His tiny apartment on the south side of the city was usually fairly sloppy and this time he'd made sure it was neat in case Retsuko decided to come over for whatever reason.

He kept his guitar on display next to his bed. It was his pride and joy and the most expensive thing he owned. It was a black and blue smallbody electric guitar, and had a small amplifier with it. Plopping down on his bed, he began to pluck at the strings, acoustic style.

He was a really good guitar player, and had been playing since he was 15. He had never told Retsuko about it. He was too shy and was afraid she wouldn't like it. But he did write songs sometimes just to see if he could do it. He sang a little song to himself and plucked the strings:

So now I've found

A way to get lost in you

Let me inside

Let me get close to you

Change your mind

I'll get lost if you want me to

Somehow I've found

A way to get lost

In you...

Part 2: Retsuko

Retsuko was a complete mess. She had a very important date tonight with Haida, and she couldn't get anything right. Her fur wouldn't fluff up properly, she couldn't find her good shoes, she didn't want to eat because of the butterflies in her stomach, and her temperature was running between hot and cold. She couldn't decide if she was sweating or freezing.

She remembered the first time she met Haida. It had been at their first company office party, and she and her new friend Fenneko had been sitting together at the bar taking beer shots and trying to outdrink each other. Fenneko was winning by a long shot, excuse the pun.

Haida had been across the room getting plastered with mixed drinks and laughing up a storm with a couple of the other guys from accounting. Retsuko had watched him get more and more raucous over time as he drank until finally he'd passed out.

Fenneko started laughing but Retsuko had had mercy and gotten one of the less drunk creatures to call a cab and have him taken home.

The next day a rather hungover and red-eyed hyena wandered over to her desk at work and introduced himself as Haida and thanked her for calling a cab and helping him get home. They had been friends ever since.

She had been considering something for a couple of months, and tonight she would do it.

She was going to ask Haida to karaoke and reveal her secret to him. Reveal that she loved Death Metal rock. It had been her only outlet for a long time for dealing with stress at work, and the only others who knew it were her yoga buddies Gori and Washimi.

The problem was that she was afraid Haida would turn away from her; in her rational mind she knew he likely wouldn't, but she was still afraid. She really liked Haida, like in a genuine boyfriend-girlfriend sort of way. She really hoped to eventually ask Haida to be her boyfriend, if the whole Death Metal reveal went well. Baby steps.

She still had a couple of hours till she had to go meet Haida at the train station, so she decided to clean up her apartment a bit before she left in case he decided to come by for whatever reason. Grabbing two garbage bags, she went from room to room picking up any kind of trash or stray bits she found. Beer cans, empty ramen containers, chopsticks, dirty laundry, shoes, and other bits of life stuff each went in their respective bags.

Tossing the trash down her apartment's garbage chute, she stashed the dirty laundry bag in her closet and closed the door for another, less exciting day.

She then headed to the bathroom to put on some makeup and try to fluff her fur yet again and get dressed. She chose a pair of black jeans, a pink sweater, and sneakers. She had to be on the top of her game tonight.

A Death Metal song she had heard came from her throat as she worked her fur dryer through the puffy fur on her head and chest, her normally sweet voice growing loud and hard and raspy:

Been awake all night, can't get no sleep

I need a steel blue heart walkin' down the street

With your razor nails, and my painted smile

You're gonna get richer, I gotta get wild...

Part 3: The Date

At exactly 7:00pm, they met up at the subway station.

Haida was wearing his trademark leather jacket and fiddling with something on his phone when Retsuko came up behind him and embraced him around the waist. Haida gave a little jump and turned, blushing fiercly, to embrace her back.

The first time they had embraced like that was a few months back, when a particularly fun night of just hanging out and going places had led to a laughing, loving hug from both of them to each other.

Releasing herself from his hug, Retsuko looked up at Haida as they started walking up the subway stairs to their date destination.

"So, where to, tonight?"

Haida coughed a little bit in embarrassment. He blushed again, looking away.

"My check...wasn't exactly as...expected this time around. So for me I just want to go get a drink and then we'll go do what you had planned. What did you have planned, anyway?"

"Oh, um, its a surprise. It's..something I've been wanting to show you for a while now. Nothing bad or weird, just something you might be interested to know."

She took his hand. Haida stared down at her, puzzled but completely trusting. The way she looked up at him and the sight of her small orange hand in his large white one made a small knot form in his stomach and it wanted to escape from his throat.

"Ooookay." Haida grinned."I rather like surprises."

When they arrived at the bar they frequented they found the only seats available were those in the back, which was just fine with Haida, because he disliked alot of attention, always preferring to stay out of the spotlight. That was another thing he and Retsuko had in common. Neither liked the spotlight.

A cheetah waitress came over and took their orders, Haida ordering a simple beer and Retsuko ordering a whiskey and coke. She always preferred harder drinks than Haida, and tonight she would need the liquid courage anyway if she was going to show him her secret passion for Death Metal rock.

As the alcohol began to take its effect, the two began to relax a little bit more and Haida decided to sieze the opportunity to ask Retsuko the question he had been holding onto all evening.

"Um, Tsuko, I have...a...question for you. If you answer no, I will completely understand and say no more about it..."

Retsuko put her empty glass down and leaned forward on her elbows, ears forward and eyes attentive.

"Tsuko, would you be willing...ahh..."

Haida rubbed the back of his head nervously, ruffling his fur a little bit.

He blurted it out before he stopped himself again.

"Tsukowillyoupleasebemyofficialandonlygirlfriend?"

Retsuko started laughing, both startled and amused at the question and the method of delivery.

Haida blushed hard and lowered his head. He knew she would say no.. why did he have to go and make things awkward when things were going so well?

She quickly stopped laughing and leaned around the table and took his hand.

"Oh! Oh Haida, Haida, it's alright! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have laughed. Of course I will. Of course I'll be your girlfriend!"

Haida blushed harder to the point that his ears were red. But he grinned from one to the other.

"Thank you Tsuko. You have just made my night 1000 times better."

He squeezed her hand,she squeezed it back and looked in his eyes and then turned and ordered another round of drinks, on her this time. The knot in Haida's stomach grew a bit more.

Part 4: Death Metal

After a couple of hours of drinks and talking, the newly-formed boyfriend-girlfriend duo left the bar, holding hands and reveling in this new next step in their relationship. It seemed like with each day they bonded a little bit more. But for Retsuko, this new step was also terrifying. She now officially had a boyfriend, a good one, whom she had known for years and been friends with for the same amount. She did not want to screw this up in any way, shape, form or fashion.

But in her mind she knew that in order for Haida to get to know her even better, to dispel the idealized version of her he'd had in his head and show the true her, she would have to bare her soul and show him her death metal scream. It would be rather awkward for her.

"So, what's the surprise?" Haida asked as they walked.

"You'll see."

Rounding the corner, Retsuko stopped and pointed to a sign.

KARAOKE.

"Karaoke??"

Haida stood there, genuinely surprised and a little incredulous. Also nervous. Did she expect him to sing for her? Sure he could carry a tune, but not in front of others. The thought of singing in front of her made him cringe a little bit.

"That's the surprise. One of them, anyway. Come on, its fun."

Haida was rooted to the spot. He wanted to protest, to walk away quickly, but his new girlfriend, whom he cared for, wanted this, so he made himself put one foot in front of the other and walk in with her.

Haida had never been in a karaoke place before. A desk with an attendent was in front, and there were two hallways leading away on either side. Each had a series of rooms with closed doors leading down them.

"This is on me tonight, Haida. I've got this."

She held up a membership card which the baboon attendant took, examined, handed back, and typed something into the desk's computer.

"Two this time, I see. The usual room, ma'am? For how long? "

"Yes please," Retsuko said. "1 hour. And could I please have a couple of teas and some snacks sent down in about half an hour?"

"Of course, ma'am. Anything for our best customer."

Haida looked down at her, absolutely surprised and a little thrilled. Quiet, sweet little Retsuko, doing something as silly as Karaoke? This was a new facet of her he didn't see before.

She matter of factly walked down the hallway to the end door, leading him. Typing in a code, she opened the door revealing a small comfy room with a couple of couches, a sound machine with a monitor/ screen, a table, and a couple of tablets laying on said table.

Retsuko invited Haida to sit.

"I never in a million years expected you to like karaoke, Tsuko. Can you show me how this works?"

"Of course. Here, let me demonstrate. You take this tablet and you type in a certain code on the keypad. This code tells the sound machine what song to play. Like, lets pick j-pop for instance. Go in under the category j-pop, there you go, and find a song. It doesn't matter, just a random song. See the code next to it? Type that into the little key pad, annnnd..."

A moment later the sounds of sugar-sweet pop music started playing from the sound machine.

"Lets shut this off, shall we?"

Retsuko tapped another button and the music shut off, covering the room in quiet once again. She grew serious, steeling herself for embarrassment, awkwardness, and possible rejection.

"Okay Haida. Here's the other part of the surprise."

She pulled her special microphone out of her bag.

"I hate j-pop. I hate most pop music in general. There is only one kind of music that I love. Could you please take that tablet and type in the numbers 909189?"

Haida was genuinely curious now. What kind of music could she possibly be into that she would find embarrassing to show him? He himself was a musician. He then realized that he too, had something to show her and reassure her.

He typed in the code.

A moment later, loud hard guitar riffs, shreds, drums, and a beautiful cacophany of hard rock sounds came blasting through the speakers, causing Haida to nearly drop the tablet in surprise.

Retsuko stood for a moment, waiting for the right note to start singing on. She opened her mouth, and instantly, a completely different voice came out. It was super deep, gravelly, and she screamed into the microphone a death metal song.

When the song was over, Retsuko simply sat down on the couch opposite Haida's and held her microphone in her hand. She didn't want to meet his eyes. She knew he would probably think she was a complete, total weirdo or that she wasn't what he was expecting or wanting to date at all.

She heard clapping and looked up. Haida was clapping hard and laughing.

"Oh my god Tsuko, that was awesome! Where did you learn to do that?!?"

"You don't think I'm weird or something?"

"No, no!" Haida said, "That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen you do!"

It really was one of the coolest things Haida had seen in a long time. Especially coming from Retsuko. He was totally taken aback but pleased at the same time.

The knot in his stomach had grown a hair more but it felt good.

For the next hour, Retsuko showed Haida how she sang like that, by clenching her vocal cords and deepening her voice at the same time. She sang a few more songs, which Haida enjoyed to the fullest. But, when she asked if he wanted to sing, he turned it down, saying his voice wasn't up to it at the moment.

When they left the Karaoke place, Haida made a suggestion to Retsuko that she never expected.

"I have something to show you too. The karaoke place made me realize it. Would you like to come back to my place? It's there."

Haida quickly stopped and turned and raised his hands to her, in a non-threatening gesture.

"Just like you told me, nothing weird or bad, just something that I bought a while back that I think you also might be interested in."

Retsuko raised her eyebrows and looked up at him.

This was getting to be an interesting night.

Part 5: The Guitar

Haida led Retsuko downtown and along a few sidestreets until they reached his apartment block. It was a small, rundown looking place, with ivy climbing one wall and bricks crumbling in places. A rusty fire escape snaked its way up one side of the building, coupled with large windows to allow escape in the event of a calamity.

"My place is near the top. Usually I just take the fire escape up and just come in through the window because it's easier than going all the way around the other side of the building and coming through the front door."

In this instance, Haida led her around the building and showed her the big glass and mesh door that led inside his building. He typed in a code on the keypad next to the door and let them in, then showed her the wooden bannister staircase that led up to the various landings with apartments. His apartment was at the very top.

"We used to have an elevator," Haida explained as they climbed, "but it broke down and the super won't fix it."

Retsuko was out of breath when they reached the top landing. Apologizing, Haida led her down the hall to the last door on the right, which had a brightly colored rock concert poster on the front advertising last year's venue.

Haida grinned sheepishly when he saw Retsuko examining it.

"It was a good concert..." he murmered.

He pulled out his keys and unlocked his door, inviting Retsuko in first.

The first impression Retsuko got of Haida's place was that a single male definitely lived here. It was tiny. But also neat. Framed rock band posters adorned the walls, along side a small flat-screen television and game system on a coffee table in the corner.

In the other corner was a small kitchenette, with a mini-fridge, coffee maker, and toaster oven that sat on the counter next to a small gas range and sink, complete with dish drainer and recently washed coffee cups and saucers.

There was a small pop-up closet in the third corner that held his work clothes and street clothes and a laptop.

In the last corner was his bed, neatly made with a simple black comforter and a couple of pillows. A guitar was on display on a stand next to it.

Haida nervously explained that since the apartment was so small, and since it was just him he just used the bed as a place to sit.

He invited her to sit down and rest, which she did gladly, and got her a water from the mini fridge.

"What I wanted to show you was this."

He walked over and picked up his guitar, holding it out to her so she could see it closer. It was very well taken care of, the strings brand new and tuned, and the body polished to a beautiful sheen of silvery blue and white.

"That's lovely! Do you play?" Retsuko asked.

"Thats what I wanted to show you. The karaoke room made me realize that since you showed me something you're nervous about, I wanted to show you something I'm nervous about as well."

He held up the guitar in front of him and put the strap over his head and shoulder.

"I play and have since I was 15. I have actually won contests in the past but I never displayed the ribbons or anything like that because I don't like the limelight. Too much attention. I also write songs a little bit and...sing..."

Haida glanced away in embarrassment.

Retsuko smiled at him gently and patted him on the arm, reassuring him.

"Don't worry Haida, you're in your own home, and the only person here is your girlfriend, who admires your courage for doing this and would like nothing better than to get to know you even more. What songs have you written?"

Haida knew exactly the song he would play for her. His heart was beating in his throat but he pulled up a milkcrate that served the purpose of a nightstand next to the bed and settled down on it in front of Retsuko.

"There is one. Music is my outlet as well. Only, I don't rage out loud like you do. I pour my feelings into the songs I write. This one I'm about to play I wrote when you were dating the Space Cadet and I was sure I had lost any chance with you..I was kicking myself everytime I saw you for not asking you out sooner."

Haida began plucking at the strings, acoustic style.

He began tapping his foot to get the rhythm of the song down,and when the right note came, he began to sing out loud.

Retsuko was surprised at his voice. It was all things at once, deep and light, rough and smooth, quiet and loud, all controlled and orchestrated to make a beautiful sound along side the strum of his guitar.

The music teased her ears and made them stand up straight, and it made her heart race. Her attention was rapt upon him, for she saw pain in his face as he poured his soul out to her through his own song.

(cue youtube https//watch?v=oSSFuglaMtM)

"I always hoped that you'd come back to get me

And you always knew that it wouldn't be easy

to go back to the start to see where it all began

Or end up at the bottom to see where it all ends

You tried to lie and say he was everything

I remember when I said 'I'm nothing without you'

Somehow I found

A way to get lost in you

Let me inside

Let me get close to you

Change your mind, I'll get lost if you want me to

Somehow I found

A way to get lost in you..."

He kept playing, caught up in the passion of the song and finally being able to express himself without having to hold it in.

"You always thought that I left myself open

But you didn't know I was already broken

I told myself that it wouldn't be so bad

But you pulling away took everything I had

You tried to lie and say he was everything

And I remember when I said 'I'm nothing without you'

Somehow I found

A way to get lost in you

Let me inside

Let me get close to you

Change your mind

I'll get lost if you want me to

Somehow I found

A way to get lost in you.

The pain of it all

The rise and the fall

I see it all

In you

Now everyday

I hear myself say

I want to get lost

In you

I'm nothing without you

Somehow I found

A way to get lost in you

Let me inside

Let me get close to you

Change your mind

I'll get lost if you want me to

Somehow I found

A way to get lost in you..."

Haida stopped playing and just sat for a moment shaking a little bit from the passion and adrenaline of playing a hearfelt song in front of his girlfriend for the first time. Getting control of himself, he opened his eyes and looked at Retsuko, seeking a reaction that wasn't rejection or anger. Her eyes were wide and wet.

"You really felt that way about me, all that time?" she said quietly. Retsuko felt like an idiot, a horrible idiot, because she had realized that when she was was wasting all that time in her naivete dating a dud, there was someone who cared for her right under her nose, and she had hurt him.

"Haida, I'm so, so sorry. I was totally oblivious...if I had known..." She started crying a little bit. She also felt like she was on fire from the tips of her ears all the way down to her feet.

"Can I use your bathroom a minute?"

"Sure."

Retsuko fled into Haida's bathroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned back against the door. She had to get herself under control, for both of them. Emotions were running high right now, and someone needed to be the responsible one, that meant her.

She found 2 washcloths and wet them. The first she used to splash water on her face and try to lower her temperature. The second she wrung out and folded to give to Haida when she came out.

She gazed at herself in the mirror. Every part of her being was still on fire, and her nerves were firing on all cylanders. She smacked the side of the sink in aggravation.

What was this feeling she was having?

Surely she wasn't in love yet, was she?

It had only been 6 months since they started dating. But then again, they had known each other for nearly 6 years now.

Was that time enough to fall for someone without realizing it?

She growled a little bit in the back of her throat.

She took a deep breath and counted to ten.

"In ten seconds I'll be sensible again. In ten seconds I'll be sensible again. In ten seconds I'll be sensible again."

She pushed the knot in her stomach down into herself and forced herself to calm down. Haida needed tending to.

Taking the second washcloth in her hand, she opened the bathroom door and came back out. He was still seated on the milk crate fiddling with the frets on the top of the guitar.

"S..sorry. I just had to compose myself. That was a beautiful song, and you can sing and play really well. You should consider playing office parties."

"Thank you. I might as long as you're there."

She held the washcloth out while she spoke. Haida reached to take it, but instead of handing it to him, she made the snap decision to wipe his face off herself.

She gently wiped his nose, around his eyes, his cheeks, and around his ears.

It was the least she could do after making him feel that way.

Haida lowered his hands and let her fuss over him. Her cool hands with the washcloth going over his fur felt so good.

"You have a really interesting fur texture. It's a mix of both wirey and soft. Your ears are alot softer than I thought they'd be too," she said quietly.

Retsuko leaned close to get some eye junk from the corner of one of his eyes, and Haida couldn't take it anymore. He had to make a move. The knot in his stomach that had been there all evening was too great to ignore.

Taking her hands and lowering them, he leaned forward and kissed her.

The moment his lips met hers, it was like nothing else in the universe existed. They were soft, and tasted of the sweet snacks they had shared earlier at the karaoke place.

Retsuko was taken by surprise, and at first she leaned back but immediately reciprocated the kiss once she realized what was going on. They held the kiss until Retsuko had to pull away to breathe.

She just sat down on the bed and stared at Haida, seeing him in a completely new light now. He had tasted of strawberries.

His face was flushed and his fur messy, and he was gazing at her in a way she had never seen before.

Haida stared at Retsuko staring back at him. He had made the first move. He was hot, the whole room was burning and he had to remove his jacket or else he felt like he was going to burst into flames right then and there. He was also trembling a little bit.

He realized, through his burning haze, that he might have just done something wrong.

"Haida, are you alright?"

"I..I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that..I couldn't help it, I should have asked first."

Retsuko stared another moment, then leaned forward again and took his hand.

"It's okay," she said quietly. "I've been wanting that for a while now. I just didn't know how to go about it."

She paused for a moment, thinking of how to word her feelings.

"Haida, everytime I get around you I've had a...a feeling. Sometimes to the point that I have trouble concentrating on my work."

She waved her free hand for emphasis, bravely refusing to look away.

"I mean, you sit right there across from me. I can see you from my desk. I thought I was just being silly."

"I think...I think I know what that...that feeling is now," she said haltingly.

"What...feeling?" Haida had an inkling, but he didn't want to go there out of respect for her.

"The feeling that...I want to go further, Haida."

"Further?"

She leaned forward, she on the bed, he on the milk crate, and gave him a peck on the mouth.

"Further."

Part 6: Earth, Flowers, and Hay

It took Haida a moment to realize what she meant, and when he did, it was like his very blood was on fire. He closed his eyes for a moment to calm himself, and fumbling, took off his guitar, and then slowly sat down next to her.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, looking over at her.

He wasn't going to stop this unless she asked. He had realized what the knot in his stomach was:

a combination of love and want, two of the most uncontrollable forces in the universe.

In answer, Retsuko leaned forward and kissed him again.

Haida kissed her back, and raised his hands to cup her face. Her fur was soft as down.

Haida slowly moved from her mouth to her ears and down her neck, kissing her and smelling her deeply, making her gasp a little.

Her scent was a green, earthy smell, like a forest after a rain. It made him shiver all over.

He moved his hands to her hips and gently pulled her closer to him, kissing her mouth once more all the while, until eventually she was sitting on his lap, one leg on either side, and she pulled away again for breath and composure.

Leaning back a little, she tugged at his shirt. Letting go of her for a moment, Haida removed his shirt from over his head and laid it to the side. He looked away sheepishly, blushing.

Retsuko sat and stared for a moment.

Never had she ever imagined seeing Haida's chest and stomach, even when they had first started dating. His upper body was a beautiful thing. While not super muscular, his arms, chest and stomach were well toned.

White fur ran from the top of his chest down to his navel, and down the underside of either arm to make the white hands that were his trademark.

His sides and back were mainly grey, and were dappled with a beautiful pattern of brown and black spots.

The greatest treasure about Haida so far was a gorgeous ruff of fur on his shoulders and partway down his back. It was fluffy and warm looking and had black, brown, and white streaks, and Retsuko was amazed at how well his shirts and jacket covered it.

Tentatively, she touched his shoulders and arms, feeling the soft white fur for the first time. She interlaced her fingers with his for a few moments and then gently let go and ran her fingers down his sides and his stomach and then down to his hips, making Haida shiver in a way he had never done before.

She wrapped her arms around him as he shivered, holding him close to her, bringing him comfort and reassuring him. Haida held her close to himself as well, wrapping his own arms around her, both hoping neither of them faltered.

She rose up on her knees and kissed him deeply then buried her nose in his ruff, breathing his scent. She smelled heat and sand, like a desert, and also a faint fragrance of flowers and hay.

She stopped again for a moment, her forehead on his chest. He was holding her close and stroking the back of her head.

She had to compose herself, because she didn't want this to happen too fast. She was also burning up.

"Tsuko?" Haida whispered into her ear.

"I'm burning, Haida. This is happening so fast. I...I don't know what to do. I haven't been with anyone in ages."

Haida cupped her face again and brought her eyes up to his.

"Neither have I. If you're not comfortable we can stop. This is just as awkward for me. I-I'm hoping I don't screw up either."

Still on his lap, she studied his face. He was flushed and looked nervous but his eyes were gazing at her, clouded with an emotion that Retsuko dared not acknowledge yet because of her own feelings.

Getting up the nerve, she climbed off of him, and still on her knees on the bed, she removed her sweater, revealing to him her own body.

Haida had never seen something so lovely. As he sat and stared, Retsuko began to cover herself with her arms in a self-conscious gesture.

"Please don't laugh or be grossed out," she murmered.

"Nooo," Haida whispered to her, gently taking her hands and uncovering her again. She was a work of art. Haida was looking at her color pattern; her fur was the golden-red color of a sunset, with gold rings running up her arms and ending in streaks that meshed with the white-gold on her belly and neck. Her body itself was toned from the yoga practice she took.

Fully climbing onto the bed itself alongside her, he laid her down and laid down next to her, slowly running his hands along her sides, feeling her soft fur and the skin beneath it.

Every nerve was alive and on high alert.

Retsuko ran her hands over him as well, her senses taking in every texture of him, his scent, the sight of him, the way he felt, the way he tasted.

He gasped at her touch.

"Am I bothering you?"

"No, it...it actually feels good. I'm...sensitive. It's my fur."

He pulled her closer to him.

"Please...don't stop."

Retsuko continued slowly and gently running her fingers through his fur and kissing him until he was arching his back and stifling cries.

She then rose up and gently pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him, pressing her hips on his. She placed her hands on either side of his head on the bed and leaned down and softly kissed him once more.

Haida pulled her all the way down to him and kissed her hard, over and over again, turning them so he was on top. She was like a drug to him; it was taking every ounce of control he had not to ravish her right then and there.

Haida settled on her, belly to belly. He gently stroked her face, running his thumbs down the golden markings under her eyes and on her cheeks.

He laid his chin on her chest, and simply looked at her. She stared back, stroking his ears reassuringly. It felt good, giving him a small high.

Haida realized he was shaking again. But at the same time his mind cleared and he knew what he truly wanted, and, ever the gentleman, he felt the need to ask his mate's permission before he touched her in that way. He also had something to ask her.

Getting up his own nerve, he closed his eyes.

"Tsuko, I..."

He swallowed, clearing his throat before it closed up on him.

"I...want you, Tsuko."

Retsuko paused and listened.

"I-I-I want to feel you..I want your warmth and your scent and every part of you and..."

His shaking voice trailed off and he moved his head, looking away.

"I want to know if you want me too. I mean, truly want me. Not just as a fling, or sympathy, but truly want me.

I'm so afraid of losing you. Like if something happens tonight everything will go away."

Retsuko scooted forward a little bit so she was beneath him more and could look at his face better.

Holding himself up on his elbows, he looked down at her.

Her eyes showed the clear directness that Haida had learned to recognize over the years that showed she meant business.

"Haida, I promise I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to worry. I wouldn't be here like this if I didn't care about you."

She gave him a small sweet kiss on the cheek and stroked his chest.

"And I want you too. More than anything. I want your kindness and your taste and your wierd fur and everything."

Haida leaned down and they kissed several times more, she feeling safe in the shelter of his arms.

He then began to work his way down her belly until he reached her jeans, which he undid and slid off, revealing Retsuko's golden legs and white feet.

He stopped again and marveled at her beauty, and kicked himself once more for not asking her out sooner.

Shakily, he moved his hands up her legs and thighs, feeling that soft fur and the heat that came from her toned body. The touch made Retsuko purr a bit.

Unable to hold back any longer, Haida slid out of his own garments and slowly moved over Retsuko on the bed.

She gazed up at him, and he kissed her.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked quietly,

"because once this happens there's no going back."

"I'm sure. I trust you, Haida," she whispered.

The moment came, and to him it was like plunging into some exquisite oil.

Both gave a sharp gasp.

His hips melted into hers, and she raised her own to allow him greater passage. He slid his arms under her and held her close, cradling her to him, as if he feared this single beautiful act would make her disappear like a dream upon his waking.

She wrapped her arms around him and dug her fingers into his ruff. She pressed her face into his shoulder and braced herself because she knew of the desperation of their needs.

Haida rose up, pulled back and plunged in again and again, causing Retsuko to cry out in pleasure.

Her loins were melting from their heat and being filled repeatedly, and it felt so incredibly good she wished to never stop.

She threw her head back and wrapped her legs around Haida's waist.

He reached and interlaced his fingers with hers, holding her to the bed and to himself.

Looking up at him as he pushed into her over and over, with his ruff and toned body towering over her, she realized that she had never felt safer in her whole life.

No matter what, she realized that he would protect her with his own whole life.

He looked down at her and there was such love in her eyes that he couldn't help but crush his mouth onto hers and push even harder, giving her all he had and proving to her that he was hers, that all the pleasure he had belonged to her, and no other.

The knot was forming in his stomach again, and Haida realized that he was getting close. Stars were beginning to blur his vision and run through his head.

He plunged, faster and faster, alternating his rhythm, crying out. He leaned down, and still not letting go, pressed his forehead into the pillows next to Retsuko's head.

"Tsuko...oh god...you feel so good..."

She, in turn, buried her face in the side of his neck, taking in the scent of his ruff and calling his name repeatedly.

Retsuko was getting close as well. A million sparks ran through her and all she could see was Haida, nothing else existed but him.

She saw his face, smelled him, saw his hands grasping hers tightly, felt him driving into her.

She threw her head back again and as the sparks within her reached a crescendo, she arched her body against him and cried out loudly and clamped her legs around him hard, pulling him even closer to her.

It was like every nerve in her body set off lightning bolts. She felt a sudden pulse.

The moment Retsuko clamped down it was like her electricity ran all through Haida's body and he cried out as well, causing an entire electrical storm to fly through both their bodies, forcing them even closer to each other, the universe making them one for a few blessed eternal moments.

Haida collapsed on top of her, exhausted, and panting. His nose was buried deep in her neck fur. They both stayed there like that for a few minutes, listening to each other's heart beats as they calmed.

Haida slowly raised his head and looked at his mate as he came down from the heavens he had just visited.

She was beautiful; her fur was messy with sweat and her eyes were half closed from exertion, and she was looking at him with complete trust and love.

She softly wrapped her arms around his neck and smelled him. The sweat on his shoulders brought the scent of hay he carried into sharp relief.

Both knew what this huge new step meant in their relationship, and that it had deepened to depths not yet anticipated.

Looking into his eyes, Retsuko kissed him, reassuring him that everything was alright and she wasn't going anywhere.

He smiled softly and touched her cheek.

After a brief clean up, the two climbed back into bed together.

Retsuko felt herself drifting off, but before she did, she told Haida something that to him outshined anything that they had done that evening:

"I love you, Haida."

Pulling the covers over them and pulling her close to his chest protectively, he kissed her forehead and whispered to her:

"I love you too Retsuko. I have for such a long time."

Part 8: The Next Morning

Retsuko awoke the next morning with the sun shining in through the window onto Haida's bed. The second thing she became aware of was the quiet, gentle sounds of guitar strings being plucked. Turning her head, she saw Haida sitting on the edge of the bed, still nude, with his back to her and quietly playing his guitar and humming to himself. She stayed as still as possible, loving this idyllic scene and enjoying the afterglow of the glory of last night. She admired Haida's back as he played. She could see the muscles in his shoulders and back move as he moved his hands and arms, and he had a black stripe down his back along with more black and brown spots, reaching all the way down to his tail, which was fluffy and grey mottled with more white. It twitched occasionally as he concentrated.

"Good morning," Retsuko said.

Haida turned and smiled deeply at her and put his guitar down, and halfway laid down next to her.

Retsuko could tell he was giddy with love and relief after last night.

"I didn't mean to wake you. I was trying to be quiet." He pecked her on the mouth.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, concerned.

"No dear, you didn't. I knew you wouldn't. Don't worry."

Haida stood up and held out a hand and helped Retsuko out of bed. Her legs were a bit wobbly but she was alright otherwise.

"It's a good thing its the weekend. I would hate having to be rushing around this morning," Retsuko said.

"You and me both sweetheart."

Haida pulled on his pants and proceeded to begin making coffee and some eggs and toast. As Retsuko got dressed, the smells of breakfast began wafting around the apartment, making her stomach rumble.

She sadly realized that the work week began tomorrow and she would have to go back to her apartment and start getting ready. She had laundry to do and work clothes to clean and iron, and her place needed cleaning.

She leaned on the counter and watched Haida work. He had two plates out on the counter and the timing on his eggs and toast were perfect. Two mugs, coffee, done.

"Do you want sugar or cream in your coffee?" He asked.

"I usually take mine black with a couple of spoons of sugar."

"Sounds fine," she said.

Haida's eggs weren't perfect, they were a little doner that Retsuko would have liked, but that didn't matter to her. As hungry as she was, and as happy as she was, Haida could have made floor tiles and she would have eaten them. The toast was good, though.

As they ate, sitting on Haida's bed again, Retsuko asked him about the awards he had recieved and how he had gotten into guitar and music as a teen.

"I was raised out in the country with my Mama and Pa and my brothers and sister, on a farm," he said, taking a bite of toast.

"I was the baby in the family, and my brothers and sister were all the time getting to go into town and show off and sell things they were good at. For example, my sister is really good at art and making little dolls and stuff. She made a killing at a fair one year selling those things and she's actually made herself a career out of it."

He swallowed.

"My brothers have joined forces and have a little lumber company together. I was too young to come with them and I got left behind on the farm. My Mama and Pa loved me, but I always felt like they were a little disappointed because I hadn't been able to figure out what to do with myself. I sure didn't want to stay on that farm, that's for sure.

One day I went into town with my Mama when I was about 15 and there was a traveling show complete with a rock band and they were killing it. I took one look at the bassist and it was like a laser went off in my head and I realized what it was I wanted to do. Play guitar and write songs.

I got myself a summer job in town in between school, and I saved every penny I made because I WAS going to buy myself a guitar, no way about it.

When I had about $500 saved up, I marched into the nearest music shop and purchased my guitar, which you see with me today."

He sipped his coffee, then continued his story.

"I remember I looked through music books, and practiced till my fingers were sore. But I learned, and learned well. By the time I was 18 I had won a couple of trophies and beaten out a couple of local champions and won ribbons at county fairs. My parents were so proud, and I was so proud of myself, because I was making something of myself.

I grew up and went to college, and got my job at the company, and I brought my guitar along with me. I left my ribbons and stuff at home because to me it was embarrassing having creatures fuss over me because they said I was good and had awards. I just wanted to play music and prove to everyone that I was good at something."

By this time they had finished their breakfast and were merely talking and cleaning up the dishes. Observing the time, Retsuko sadly remarked that she had to go back to her place and start preparing for work the next day.

Haida groaned in disappointment, but understood, as he too had to start getting his things ready for work. They agreed to start meeting at the subway in the mornings and going to work together in order to give each other support and encouragement for the trying workday ahead.

Haida also proposed he get off at the same stop as her and walk her home, which Retsuko agreed with. Not that she couldn't take care of herself, mind you, but Haida's company was good company, plus it gave them both a chance to hang out a little more.

Before she left, Haida grabbed her by the hips and around the waist and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips.

"I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, Haida."

"Call me."

"I will."

Part 9: Love and Work

The next day the couple met at the subway station, as planned. Haida was still a little bit sleepy, as he had awoken early so that he could get there on time. He had two to-go coffees in his hands, black with 3 sugars, one for himself and one for Retsuko. They shared a quick kiss and had a seat on one of the benches as they waited for the train to come.

"So, Haida, about us at work, do we just advertise that we're a couple now, or do we kind of keep it under wraps to avoid alot of work drama and meddling from Ton and his little assistant?"

Haida put his arm around her.

"As badly as I want to let everyone know, I think we should keep it under wraps, at least for a little while. Who knows if Ton would want to split us up or not? And lets not forget Tsonoda; she's a rumor queen. The only creature who should know is Fenneko, and she'll probably be happy to keep quiet about it."

"It'll just be easier on us as well since we won't have the stress of dealing with work stuff in this relationship," Retsuko said. "We should keep it separate for a while."

"Exactly."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company, taking sips of coffee from time to time.

"How many brothers do you have?" Retsuko asked.

"Four."

"Yikes."

"Yikes is right. All of them are bigger than me, and lot more outgoing. I was always the most quiet and shy of the bunch. If you ever meet them, be prepared to be out of your element. My Pa is huge, and my Mama is really tall. I take after her, and my brothers and sister take after my Pa."

"What are their names?" Retsuko asked curiously.

"Going from oldest to youngest, there's my sister Maya, then my brothers Ross, Levon, Jonathan, and Kirk. Then there's me. I'll try to dig up a picture for you some time. What about you?"

Retsuko took a deep drink of her coffee despite the heat of it.

"I don't have any brothers or sisters, and I was raised by my Grandma and Great Aunt."

Her lips set tight for a moment.

"That about sums it up."

The train came at that moment with its crush of passengers. Haida ran interference for them and they worked their way through the crowd into the train car. Hanging on the one of the hand grips overhead, Haida kept his arm around Retsuko so she would be safe and they would not get separated.

When they reached their destination, Retsuko showed Haida the way to get to the company building because he had usually come from a different direction in the past.

"Okay, we're here, be careful, sweetheart," Haida said.

"I will, see you in the office."

After visiting the ladies locker room, Retsuko went into the office to find Fenneko already seated at her desk and flipping through her phone, as usual.

Without looking up, Fenneko acknowledged her friend.

"Hey Retsuko, hows it going? Have a good weekend?"

Retsuko's face went red and she quickly sat down and began studying her computer.

"Oh, it was fine. Nothing particular happened."

"Is something wrong with your computer?" Fenneko asked, finally looking up.

"It's not on."

Haida walked in, straightening his tie and Retsuko couldn't help it that her eyes flicked to him for a moment.

Fenneko caught this, saw Retsuko's red face, the studying of the not-on computer, and put 3 and 3 together. She grinned and leaned over.

"You guys sealed the deal, didn't you?" she whispered quietly.

Retsuko accidentally dropped her pencil cup in the floor as she got it out of her work drawer. She should have known better than to think Fenneko wouldn't notice. Fenneko reached down to help her pick up her pencils, whispering the whole time.

"Don't worry, don't be embarrassed, I'm happy for you guys. I won't say a word. I do have a question, though."

Retsuko stared at her friend, ready to start in on her if need be.

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I do," Retsuko whispered back as she went under the desk with Fenneko searching for non-existent pencils.

"In that case," Fenneko whispered harshly, "speaking as one friend to another friend, in defense of a third friend, don't you dare break his heart. Haida is too pure for this world and he has loved you for years, I was the only one he ever told."

Fenneko bared her fangs a little.

"You're both my best friends, and I love you guys, but if either of you break the other, I will defend who ever needs defending. Haida himself told me once he hopes he never pisses me off. That's a warning."

Fenneko smiled and grabbed a pencil out of Retsuko's hand and came back up and sat down in her chair, making a show of putting the pencil back in Retsuko's pencil cup next to her computer monitor.

Rather flustered at Fenneko's warning, Retsuko did take it to heart.

She stood up and settled into her chair.

It also made her worry. What if things did go south between she and Haida for whatever reason? She ran the risk of losing both a friend and a lover.

She supposed this was Fenneko's way of pushing her to do her best at the relationship, by reminding Retsuko of her friendship with Haida and the cost of not trying. Fenneko was a true friend, being so defensive of each of them.

9:00. Time to get started.

She dared another glance at Haida, but he had his head and mind buried deep in his calculations, not looking up. Retsuko thought this a good strategy, and also buried her head in her work. In a way, the work was good for her because it took her mind off matters of the heart and emotions.

Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she looked up to find Haida and Fenneko behind her. Two hours had rolled past in what seemed like the matter of a few seconds.

"Tsuko, you okay?" Haida asked. "You had your face so deep in your work we were afraid you were mad for some reason."

"Oh, um, I'm fine. Just got on a roll, thats all."

Fenneko tugged Retsuko's shirt.

"C'mon. Lets take a break," she said.

Part 10: Drinks

After break, it was back to work. Haida and Retsuko once again buried themselves in their work, trying to concentrate on that and not each other. During break, Fenneko had suggested the three of them go out that weekend for drinks to celebrate Haida and Retsuko's 6 month anniversary, or, as Fenneko teased, "their 6 year anniversary". Drinks were on her.

The bar wasn't too packed when they got there, so the three were able to find a booth near the front. Fenneko ordered a couple of pitchers of beer and a round of hard drinks for everyone. Tonight, she absolutely intended to get everyone drunk just so she could see how Haida and Retsuko acted around each other in light of their new relationship.

Fenneko had learned their drinking habits over the years, and she knew Haida would make those pitchers of beer disappear quickly, and start getting flushed and tipsy around halfway through the second one. Retsuko would drink hard when she was upset, but not when she was just relaxing. That's where the hard drinks came into play.

Fenneko knew this wasn't really a nice thing to do, but she felt she had to evaluate the situation so she could be prepared for anything that might come her way.

Part 11: Two Hours Later

Fenneko was absolutely amazed. Retsuko was holding her liquor well, looking a little sleepy but still coherent. Haida was his usual drunk, flushed self. Once the effect of the vast amounts of alcohol began to take effect, he began to ramble drunkenly on to her about how much he loved Retsuko and and kept leaning over next to him giving Retsuko sloppy kisses on her face, to which the red panda just laughed and gently pushed him back upright before he fell over in her lap. Inwardly, Fenneko nodded and gave approval. They were perfect together, and obviously cared about each other.

When Closing Time came, Fenneko and Retsuko helped Haida out the door, one under each arm, and made the decision to take Haida to Retsuko's place this time since it was closer. He could crash there for the night and sleep it off. Fenneko laughed inside and enjoyed this moment. True friends helped friends get home while drunk. Fenneko would not admit it to them, but she was a little worried about losing them.

Retsuko lived in the western part of the city, in a larger, fancier apartment block than Haida did. It was a short stucco building with ceramic tiles on the roof and had a wall and security gate surrounding it. Just like Haida's apartment building, Retsuko had to type in a code to get in.

She thanked god she lived on the bottom floor. It would be rather difficult for two small ladies to get a very drunk, 6 foot tall hyena up a flight of stairs.

Letting them into her apartment, Fenneko and Retsuko dumped Haida on Retsuko's bed, where he promptly began snoring. Knowing he'd be okay there, Fenneko excused herself home and left, knowing all would be well for the two.

Retsuko stood in the darkness looking at the drunk hyena on her bed, and pondered how far they had come in the last 6 months. Or 6 years, she wasn't exactly sure when she had actually started falling for him without realizing it.

Either way, they were together now, and it had all started with a simple cab ride on a drunken night.

She walked over and took off his shoes, then rolled him over and took off his jacket, and covered him with a blanket.

She put his jacket on and it was full of his scent, which brought her great comfort. She then crawled into bed next to him and passed out alongside him.

Part 12: Hangover Cure

Haida woke to find himself in unfamiliar territory. His head was pounding and his vision was blurred and the bed felt weird. It smelled like Retsuko. She must have slept over last night again, they both had done some heavy drinking. He raised up, or tried to. His head felt too heavy for his body and he laid back down. He laid his arm across his eyes and groaned. Since when was his apartment so bright? He only had that one window.

He raised his arm a little bit, blocking the light still, and looked around again.

As his sluggish brain finally began to take in his surroundings, he noticed his walls were a different color. These walls were a light pinky-orange color, whereas his walls were blue. There was actually carpet on the floor. Grey carpet.

Where the hell was he?

His mouth tasted gross.

He also realized his jacket was missing and he was still fully clothed.

Forcing himself to roll over on his back and get a better view of his surroundings, he turned his head to the right to find his girlfriend snoring gently next to him,curled up in his jacket.

Despite the pounding in his head he couldn't help but notice how cute she looked like that. His jacket almost entirely covered her. The only things that stuck out were her white feet at the bottom and her white ears at the top, and a tiny bit of a nose.

Finally his brain connected the dots: he was at Retsuko's place. The ladies must have brought him here last night to crash.

He rolled over again so he was facing her and put his arm around her and went back to sleep, feeling safe now that he knew she was there with him.

Part 13: Time Passages

The year wore on, and Haida and Retsuko had grown closer still, visiting the beach in the summer, making love in the fall when the leaves were changing outside the windows of their apartments,and sharing cocoa and making snow creatures when the winter snows came.

It was not to say everything was totally idyllic in their relationship, as with any couple, they occasionally had their disagreements and spats, but both tried to work through them and understood that they were merely working out the kinks.

As their one-year anniversary as an official couple rolled around, Retsuko began stressing a bit as to what to give Haida as a gift.

She secretly shopped around but for the life of her couldn't find the right thing. Flowers? Definitely not. Cologne? Haida wouldn't wear it and he smelled good enough as it was. He hated wearing ties, he was into rock music, and he didn't really care about fashion that much.

One day as she was visiting him at his apartment again, she began to study around to see if she could jog her brain as to find something practical he could maybe at least use around his place. What did he use the most?

His appliances were practically new, he hardly ever used them except for when she spent the night over. He had no real need for dishes, on that front. His clothes were still in relatively good condition.

As she glanced around, it was like a lightning bolt went off in her head and set off a huge lightbulb over her. His guitar! He maintained and took care of it like it was a living creature. She knew exactly what to get him right then and there.

Anniversary night she invited him to dinner at one of the better restaurants in the city, nothing too fancy but still good. She didn't want him to have to dress up and be totally uncomfortable that night.

She herself put on some nice clothes-a black v-neck top, black skirt and her good shoes. She also wore a necklace with a white opal on it that her grandmother had given her. Lastly, she had donned an ear clip with a white flower that stayed tucked neatly behind her ear fur.

Arriving at the restaurant, she held a small white bag with a gift inside and sat down at her reserved table. Haida arrived a few minutes later, looking rather rumpled and apologizing profusely, saying he'd had trouble finding the restaurant, which was logical, as he never really frequented that part of town. He kissed her and sat down.

He had on a casual blue suit that he had rented from a local place in town, and looked rather dashing in it. It was open a little at the collar to show off a hint of his white chest fur. His head fur was brushed neatly back, and he'd carefully groomed his whiskers. Retsuko loved him, but the fact that he had gone to so much trouble to look nice on their anniversary was a total plus to her.

As they wined and dined, she and Haida talked about their day. Ton had taken him aside and gotten onto him about some little error on one of his reports, Tsunoda had driven her nuts while trying to find out some dirt on her, the usual.

After the plates had been cleared away, Retsuko decided she couldn't wait any longer.

"Happy Anniversary!"

She pulled out the white bag and set it in front of Haida.

"Oh, what's this?" He blushed as he took it and pulled the box out.

"Sweetie you didn't have to do this, thank you."

Popping open the box, his eyes grew wide as he looked inside.

"Oh darlin, you didn't have to do that, thank you so much!"

He leaned over the table and kissed her hard.

Inside the box was a complete guitar maintenance kit, complete with new strings, wax, pliers, allen wrenches, and all the other little do-dads that Retsuko didn't understand the purpose of. She had also included a brand new set of beautiful, custom guitar picks. He was fascinated with one in particular, a lovely pearl colored one which he kept pulling out and petting with his fingers.

"I have a present for you too," he said, "but its really different and I'm going to give it to you at the office party next week. So please don't think I'm not thinking of you on our anniversary, because I really am. There really is a present for you in the works."

She knew Haida well and knew he was telling the truth, so she didn't worry about it.

But the whole walk home, with all their conversation all the way, she still pondered in the back of her mind about what could possibly be so big and important that he had to give it at the office party of all places.

Part 14: Office Party

The next week the accounting office was abuzz about the upcoming office party that Friday night . The room had been reserved, everything was in place, and there would be karaoke.

Retsuko rolled her eyes. She knew everyone would be expecting her to do her Death Metal stuff again like she had done and totally blown Mr. Ton away that time, but that wasn't going to happen. She just wanted to hang with Haida and Fenneko this time.

After work, many of the office workers went straight to the bar and the reserved room, others went home to change and then come back.

Haida did the latter, saying he'd be back.

She and Fenneko arrived and found seats in the room at one of the tables, making sure to save a seat for Haida when he came back. Retsuko's mind went back to his promise over the anniversary dinner. What could the present be? She glanced around looking for possible clues. No one was acting out of the ordinary, no strange boxes anywhere. Hm.

Taking a sip of her beer, she closed her eyes for a moment and thought back on she and Haida's relationship once again. Where would they be if they had never gotten together? She would probably have quit by now and been long gone from the company, and that would have destroyed him without her realizing it.

She found herself glad that Haida had gotten up the nerve to talk to her.

Suddenly, she heard a cacophany of sounds: creatures hooting, yelling, and clapping.

Shouts of "Haida!" and "Oh my god!" and "Really!?" rang through the crowd.

Her eyes popped open over the rim of her glass and to her great surpise, Haida was walking into the room wearing his street clothes, with his guitar slung over his back and his amplifier in his hand. He looked nervous as hell.

Placing his amplifier on the stage, he walked over and took Retsuko by the hand and led her to the front of the room near the stage, seating her on a cushion.

The entire room went up when that happened. Creatures stood and clapped and those in the front were slapping Retsuko on the back and laughing.

Haida didn't say a word, blushing hard and laying his ears flat against his skull.

He walked up on stage, plugged his amplifier in, plugged his guitar into the amplifier, and tuned it a bit, getting the right sound. He adjusted the mike stand to his height.

The audience was sitting in silence. No one besides Retsuko knew he even played, and they waited to see what would happen.

He spoke into the mike, his voice cracking a hair at first.

"Retsuko, I promised you a present at our anniversary dinner last week. I have brought two. One is telling you how much I love you, and how much confidence you have given me since we have been together. I decided to do this for you and because of you. Thank you, love."

The audience went up again, louder this time, laughter, hoots, shouting, clapping, and blares of "Congrats!" and "Retsuko?" and "Haida??" and "Wow!"

"The second present is a song I wrote for you in my spare time. I'm going to sing it here tonight, in public, to prove how much I love you. Only for you."

He adjusted the mike, typed a code into the karaoke machine, and began tapping his foot, getting a beat going on. When the background music began, he began strumming his guitar.

(cue https/www.you /watch?v=sRUcm7bMAt4list=FLk1R8c32RKC_AAGRdxmoAegindex=2t=0s and imagine Haida on a small stage playing, with a single spotlight on him.)

There's no way to say this song's about someone else

Every time you're not in my arms

I start to lose myself

Someone please pass me my shades

Don't let 'em see me down

You have taken over my days

So tonight I'm going out

Yet I'm feeling like

There is no better place than right by your side

I had a little taste

And I'll only spoil the party anyway

Cause all the girls are looking fine

But you're the only one on my mind

La da dee

La da dee doo

La da da me

La da da you

La da dee

La da dee doo

There's only me

There's only you

La da dee

La da dee doo

La da da me

La da da you

La da dee

La da dee doo

When you were gone I think of you

All these places packed with creatures

But your face is all I see

And the music's way too loud

But your voice won't let me be

So many pretty girls around

They're just dressing to impress

But the thought of you alone has got me spun

And I don't know what to say next

Yet I'm feeling like

There is no better place than right by your side

I had a little taste

And I'll only spoil the party anyway

Cause all the girls are looking fine

But you're the only one on my mind

(Chorus)

I pretend the night is so beautiful

Take a photo with the bros

La da dee

La da da doo

They won't see through my disguise

Right here behind my eyes

Replaying in my mind

La de da

Yet I'm feeling like

There is no better place than right by your side

I had a little taste

And I'll only spoil the party anyway

Cause all the girls are looking fine

But you're the only one on my mind

He stomped his foot, keeping the rhythm.

La da dee

La da dee doo

La da da me

La da da you

La da dee

La da dee doo

There's only me

There's only you

La da dee

La da dee doo

La da da me

La da da you

La da dee

La da dee doo

When you were gone I think of you

The audience was clapping and laughing, and Haida kept his eyes on her and his rhythm stayed perfect.

Retsuko was crying with happiness and surprise and held her hands in front of her mouth through the whole song. It was one of the absolute best and sweetest gifts she had ever received.

When the song was over, the audience erupted all over again. He left the stage, amplifier in one hand, guitar slung across his back, and fell into her arms. Creatures were laughing and slapping him on the shoulders.

He was shaking all over. At his height his head rested on top of hers, and he was slightly bent over, but she was the one holding him this time.

She led him back to the table and they settled back down next to Fenneko, who gave a huge thumbs up to Haida and a proud hug to both of them.

Part 15: Holidays

The winter holidays came around once more, and they were always special because the offices were always closed for a few weeks to allow the workers to go home and visit family. Haida sprung the idea of both of them going to visit his family in the country during the holidays one day while on the way home to Retsuko's apartment building after work.

"What do you think of that idea? I know its kind of far away, but I've told them alot about you and I would really like for them to meet you, and you them. Have you ever been to a farm?"

Retsuko stopped and stared up at him for a moment.

The idea of her small self in the mix with 7 huge, boisterous hyenas made her balk. What would they think of her? Would they see her small stature and different species and instantly turn away and start giving Haida hell for it? She didn't want that for him. The last thing she wanted was to give him family strife.

She gently voiced her concerns to her boyfriend.

He put his hands on her shoulders and gave them a tiny loving squeeze.

"Don't worry, they will love you. Please say you'll come with me? Please?" he asked.

When he looked at her like that, there was no way she could say no. The rational part of her also knew that she would have to meet his family eventually.

She also understood that in a relationship as deep as theirs, she wouldn't just be with Haida. She would have be with his family as well.

Retsuko accepted and prayed that the trip would go well.

Part 16: The Trip

The holidays were 2 weeks long, and Haida had made plans for the two to visit the farm and his family for one week, and save the other week for just themselves.

When Haida had called his parents at her place and let them know of his plans, Retsuko could hear his mother lauging and squealing over the phone, overjoyed that their baby boy had finally found someone and was coming home for the holidays. It was funny to watch him wince and hold the phone away from his ear as his mother squawked.

He saw her grin.

"That's just a taste," he said, rolling his eyes. "Be prepared."

A couple of days before the work holiday began, Haida rented a car and they began packing for the trip. It would be a long drive, about a day, so Retsuko made sure she had plenty of snacks and cash packed just in case; this she put in an old backpack along with a couple of changes of clothes, a nightshirt, clean undies and socks, a portable battery and phone charger, headphones,a book, and her microphone.

She didn't know Haida's family and she hoped she wouldn't have to use it.

Part 17: The Journey Home

The appointed day came and their journey started. Retsuko had known Haida for years, she had seen him drunk, injured, sick, happy, sad, exhausted, and most other things, and had seen all his ranges of emotion from a to z, but surprisingly she had never seen him drive or been in the front seat of a car with him. The fact that they lived in the city was a testament to this; they had no need for vehicles, as they had simply used public transportation.

Haida was a bit of a speed demon behind the wheel, taking turns quickly and with the knowledge and stealth of a racecar driver and going as fast as the city speed limits would allow him. Retsuko was nervous but trusted him not to get them killed.

When they left the city and got in the freeway to the outskirts and the countryside, Haida allowed the throttle to open up. It had been a looong time since he had driven so fast, and speed thrilled him to no end.

"I've never seen you drive before," Retsuko said, " you like going fast, don't you?"

Hopefully that would drop a hint for him to slow down a hair.

"Oh I love it," he said, not taking his eyes off the road. "I love the feel of a well-maintained engine under me. Its like controlling a beast and it has to obey. I love the sound and how fast it can make a vehicle go and how complicated an engine is to be able to do those things. Its always fascinated me. I can't work on a car worth jack though."

He flicked his eyes to her for a split second and realized that he was making Retsuko afraid by going so fast, and slowed down a few hairs.

Part 18: The Family Farm

Haida and Retsuko spent the trip exchanging stories about their families; Haida explaining about the countryside and how he and his brothers used to get into fights over who owned the hayloft in the barn, and Retsuko telling about how she would get into trouble with her aunt for stealing the cookies she had made specially for company.

The city suburbs had gradually given way to a single long highway cutting through the land like a river. Retsuko could look out the window and see rolling hillsides and flat land on either side of the highway, dotted occasionally with the odd farmhouse, barn, or empty cornfield, which were sometimes occasionally obscured by trees used as windbreaks for the fields, as Haida explained.

Finally Haida slowed down and they reached a turning lane which in turn led down a small road. Haida grinned.

"They paved it! How cool is that!" he exclaimed.

Haida was quick to explain to his girlfriend that the road leading to his cubhood home had once been dirt and gravel and he had run up and down it barefoot many a time as a cub and gotten tiny rocks between his toes.

The road was long and Haida drove slowly down it, he taking in the changes, she taking in the new scenery.

The road was lined on either side with birch trees and nicely cropped hedges, and Retsuko could see cornfields and a well-tended white house off in the distance with a black-roofed barn a little ways from that.

"Boy they've done some good maintenance on this place since I've been gone."

The paved road ended in front of the white house, leaving a small bit of gravel and dirt in front it. The steps and porch were painted grey with white trim on the railings, coupled with two brick and mortar pedestals on either side of the steps. Two rocking chairs sat next to the front door.

Retsuko observed the size of one of them and was gobsmacked at the size of it. She wouldn't be able to even climb into it, it was so big. Surely Haida's father wasn't that big was he?

Haida pulled to a stop in a little alcove next to the house and turned off the engine, then turned to look at Retsuko.

"I know you're nervous sweetheart. They won't bite and you'll have me there the whole time. Trust me."

"Of course I trust you, Haida," Restsuko said.

"Once again, I just worry about the size and species thing. You know how some creatures are."

He frowned a little, not at her, but at thought of that happening.

"We aren't backwards hillbillies, Tsuko; if that happens then I'll have to just say 'au revoir' and we go home and let me deal with it at a distance, because I love you and I'm not giving you up easily."

He smiled and Retsuko leaned over and embraced him and held him for a long time, he returning the embrace in kind.

Finally relaxing a little and releasing him, she gave him a kiss and asked what now.

"I guess we get out and go say hi," Haida said.

Part 19: Meet the Sister

The walk up to front door of the house was short physically, but to Retsuko it was one of the longest walks ever. Even with Haida holding her hand, she felt as if this new step in the relationship would be the one to make her stumble and fall.

As they made their way across the gravel yard in front of the house, they both heard a squeal come from the barn, and the sound of running footsteps.

"Haida! Oh my god it's so good to see you!"

Bounding towards them was the biggest female hyena Retsuko had ever seen. She had on a long coat and sneakers, and wore a toboggan on her head to keep her ears warm. There were gloves on her hands.

She ran up to them and grabbed Haida around the waist and spun him around, laughing the whole time.

"W..whoa, sis, calm down, it's just me! Put me down! Put me down!"

She set Haida down on his feet and introduced herself to Retsuko, removing her hat and bowing to her in a silly, gentlemanly fashion.

"And you must be the lovely Retsuko I've heard tell about! I'm Maya, and I'm Haida's big sister. Big in every sense of the word!"

She stood up straight and put her hat back on.

Standing next to Haida, who was still gathering himself from his sister's greeting, she was easily a couple of feet taller than he was.

Retsuko goggled. That meant that she was at least 8 feet tall. Haida hadn't been exaggerating.

Retsuko was embarrassed and surprised at the introduction but introduced herself as well, shaking Maya's hand. It enveloped her own it was so big.

Maya grinned and Retsuko could see the resemblance instantly.

"Well, come on in the house and make yourselves at home! Too cold to be lollygagging around out here."

She led the couple up the porch steps and into the warmth of the house.

Maya hung her hat and coat on the coat rack by the door, invited the couple to do the same, and excused herself for a moment to go find their parents, leaving Retsuko and Haida in the front room.

Part 20: Meet the Parents

The front of the main room in which Haida and Retsuko stood was dominated by a large fireplace that looked purely decorative, especially since the house was warm without its fully-lit presence. It might have been used at one time, as there were scorch marks in the back, but not now.

On the hearth surrounding it many pictures were displayed in metal frames, showing different pictures of many different hyena cubs all smiling and laughing. Some were formal, like school yearbook pictures, but others were casual, such as various pictures taken in the barn, playing in front of the house, or working on the fields. Retsuko walked over and began studying them, trying to guess who they could possibly be based on what Haida had told her.

One stuck out as Maya because of her markings and resemblance to Haida. She looked younger in the picture by about 10 years, and she was turned looking over her shoulder at the creature holding the camera. She held a bundle of cloth in her arms, and upon further inspection, the bundle had a small pair of ears and a tiny nose sticking out of it.

She heard a chuckle behind her as Haida walked up, looking embarrassed. Retsuko glanced up at him.

"That's...me and Maya's first picture together."

He rubbed the back of his head.

"That was taken the day I was born. Maya was the first one to hold me after my Mama and Pa. She always says that was a really special moment for her."

Retsuko looked at the picture again, astounded that such a tiny thing could have grown into the tall hyena she knew today.

Haida began to point out who was who from the pictures.

First there was Maya of course. Retsuko identified her easily because of her facial markings of white spots on her head and along the sides of her nose, and her strong resemblance to her brother. In some of the pictures she was holding or looking after Haida, in others she was captured painting or drawing or working in the field.

There was Ross, a hyena with a darker coat than Haida and was considered the best-looking brother, who was mugging for the camera and holding a football; then there was Levon, who was born with white ear tips and a tendency to be a bit hot-headed. In the picture he was holding a pitchfork outside the barn.

There was Jonathan, who was posing in a school picture making a funny face- he had long been considered the class clown as a cub and was always getting in some sort of trouble in school. He had a white muzzle.

Last was Kirk, who actually had a lighter coat than Haida and darker ears. He was standing next to a young, gangly, snaggletoothed 7 year old Haida, holding a frog and showing it to whoever was taking the picture.

There were other pictures of a very young Haida as well, some as a toddler, some showing him doing schoolwork, or being quiet in the barn, or other kinds of quiet activities. Retsuko noticed as she looked at the pictures that he really did seem to be the most quiet and reserved of all the siblings. Maybe that was one reason why Maya was so taken with him as a baby.

Haida walked away again, looking at the rest of the room. There were a couple of couches and a huge recliner lining one wall; a record player sitting on a wide shelf filled with musical books and and various tapes and vinyl discs ran along the other wall, alongside decorative classical music posters and other music paraphernalia. Books were strewn on the end tables and couches with various bookmarks in them. The room looked cozy and lived in.

"This place hadn't changed much..."

Haida began to say something else but a booming voice came out of a back room.

"Haida! Hey boy, how you been?" a huge male hyena walked out of what appeared to a back bedroom, holding a cloth and smiling at them. He was about Maya's height, and had kind eyes. His face was grizzled with a mix of grey and silver fur around his eyes and on his muzzle, and the only way to tell his previous fur color color was a slight darkness around his ears. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, and the shirt showed off his huge muscular arms. His movement wasn't lumbering or big by any means, however. He moved lightly and with purpose.

"Pa! Hey! How are you?" Haida walked over and embraced his father, who embraced his son back, slapping each other on the back in typical male fashion.

"I have been doing well, but my backs been bothering me a bit," his father said. "Your brothers have been keeping the place up for me and your Ma."

"That explains the maintenance, then. Where's Mama and the brothers?"

"Your Mama is upstairs fixing your room up for you and your brothers are in town. Care to introduce me to this little gem right here or you gonna let her stand there?"

Haida flushed and apologized to everyone, and introduced his girlfriend to his father.

The big hyena leaned way down and shook her hand. His hand was even bigger than Maya's, and he actually frightened her a little bit.

"Hey there, Retsuko, ma'am, my name is Jean, and I'm Haida's father. I know I'm big but I wouldn't hurt anyone. I tell you this because I have a tendency to scare newcomers and it annoys me."

"Nice to meet you, sir."

"Polite, this one."

He smiled and he looked just like Maya.

Jean's directness was a bit unnerving at first but Retsuko realized that it was just his manner; he had to be that way since he was the co-runner of a large farm and had had to manage 6 children over the years.

Jean turned his massive head and bellowed up the stairs.

"May, Haida's home!"

A loud, but friendly feminine voice came shouting back down, and Haida grinned.

"Haida! Oh, my baby boy's come home!"

A tall, thin, lady hyena with dark ears and a grey and brown coat like Haida's came down the stairs, holding a laundry basket full of sheets. She wore a brown sweater, slippers and slacks, and had a small pair of glasses perched on her nose.

She set the basket down on the stairs and embraced her son, who fully embraced her back.

She stepped back and looked at him from head to toe, rubbing his arms gleefully, hardly being able to contain herself.

"You're not wearing your glasses."

Haida rubbed his nose a bit self-consciously.

"Yeah, I wear contacts, now, Mama. This is my girlfriend, Retsuko, the lady I told you about."

Retsuko couldn't help but snort a little bit in the back of her throat at the thought of Haida wearing glasses. He caught this and put his arm around her shoulders, and the red panda held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am."

May leaned down and gave Retsuko a big long hug, to Retsuko's great surprise, and finally let go.

She raised back up to her full six feet and clapped her hands together, looking at everyone gathered, and grinned.

"My family's back together and then some. This is cause to celebrate-big feast tonight!"

She grabbed the laundry basket and swooped away into another part of the house, and everyone could hear her singing to herself.

Haida's father shook his head and looked down at Retsuko.

"Let me show you guys upstairs. You'll both be staying in your old room, Haida, since we're short on space with everyone coming in."

He led them up the stairs and into a long hallway which had several doors leading down it. Stopping at the fifth one down he opened it up and invited the couple in.

"Haida, your Mama's been fussing over your room since you told her you were coming. She set up an extra trundle bed and changed the sheets, but she's kept everything the same otherwise."

Haida completely flushed at this and glanced down at his girlfriend.

"I'll leave you guys to it, and I'll send Maya up with your luggage after while if you don't get to it first."

"Thanks, Pa."

"Thank you, sir."

Jean grunted and walked back down the stairs, leaving the couple alone in the room.

Part 21: Haida's Old Room

Haida walked into his old cubhood room, leaving Retsuko standing in the doorway. She took in the space in in a combination of amusement, awe and interest. This would be a an even better way for her to get know her boyfriend.

The walls were plain wood paneling with a combination of the usual male teenager and young adult posters on the walls, consisting of various rock bands, car posters, and scantily-clad females. Haida had begun to immediately take down the latter and roll them up. He didn't want to make his girlfriend uncomfortable.

Retsuko walked into the center of the room and observed a single bed with a couple of pillows and a down comforter on it. Next to the head of the bed was a dresser with a lamp and a pair of glasses on it, and next to that was a low bookshelf filled with music books and various forms of fiction, sci-fi in particular. A couple of purple geodes and an old fishbowl sat on top of it.

The wall opposite the bed across the room was occupied by a large corkboard which was filled with many multi-colored ribbons, all stating various degrees of victory; some said first place, others stated second and third, and runner-up. She didn't see one single simple participation-only ribbon. All were winners in some form.

Beneath her feet was a large rag rug, and at the foot of the bed off to the side was a small closet door.

As she stood looking at the ribbon wall, Haida walked up next to her and observed that his mother had put then up for display since he had left home. He normally just kept them in his bottom dresser drawer.

"You're really talented, dear."

"Thanks sweetheart. Feel...feel free to look around if you want."

Haida's face was flushed at the thought of someone going through his old room. Despite the fact that he was an adult, some things stuck with him about his privacy here that he couldn't shake. He knew he had to get used to sharing things with Retsuko, and they had shared some very personal moments together, obviously, but this was different. Someone was in a place that he had spent years in, observing things only he had a connection to, and in a way this added a little more intimacy to their relationship.

Out of respect for Haida's privacy, Retsuko still felt the need to ask permission before picking things up and looking at them.

Picking up his old glasses, she noticed the lenses were really thick and there was a hairline crack in the left one. They had brown frames.

"I never knew you used to wear glasses."

"Yes, I did until I started at the company. I wear contacts now not only as a vanity thing but it lets me see my reports and stuff better. I'm actually severely nearsighted."

Retsuko grinned, taking in yet another facet of her boyfriend. Haida walked over and put the glasses on, and she laughed. The glasses made his eyes look about 10 times bigger and they took up almost his whole face.

Retsuko was the only creature who could ask him to wear those silly glasses again.

Part 22: Nap

As Haida removed his glasses and placed them in the top drawer, they both turned at the sound of a gentle knock on the door. Maya had brought their luggage up for them as her father had asked.

"Here's your stuff, you two. Make yourselves at home."

Haida thanked his big sister amid a yawn, which in turn made Retsuko yawn as well.

"Why don't you two take yourselves a nap? It was a long trip I imagine and supper won't be ready for a while. The brothers will get here eventually."

She rolled her eyes at her own statement.

"Sounds good, sis," Haida said.

Maya excused herself and closed the door behind her as she left.

Haida removed his shoes and laid down on the bed, motioning Retsuko to come lay down as well. His bed was a twin bed, so he scooched over as far as he could against the wall to make room for his girlfriend.

"So, no trundle bed then?" Retsuko asked as she settled down beside him. Haida grabbed the blanket and pulled it over them against any winter chills. She turned over so her back was to him and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

Haida loved this sleeping position. It allowed him to feel protective and breathe Retsuko's scent. It gave him a little high.

Retsuko snuggled back against him and held his hands. It always made her feel so comfortable and protected when he held her like this.

Haida laid his muzzle on her shoulder and drifted off, and Retsuko drifted away as well, listening to sounds of her boyfriend's soft snores.

Part 23: Meet The Brothers

"NO YOU IDIOTS, THEY'RE SLEEPING!"

These were the words that Haida woke up to, along with the sounds of large running footsteps. He sat bolt upright in the bed and that action brought Retsuko up as well, just as 3 huge smiling male hyenas burst through the door, with a very angry looking Maya close behind them.

She started slapping them on the heads and shouting about how stupid and inconsiderate they were being and to get out now before she kicked their tails off and used them as dusters.

Shouting, they piled back out of the room and down the stairs, Maya close behind, but not before she closed the door back behind her. Haida could still hear shouting from downstairs which faded quickly. Ah this was familiar. He had to get a lock for that door.

"I gotta get a lock for that door."

Retsuko couldn't help but laugh at that one simple statement. That said it all right there.

"Those were my brothers. You'll meet them formally at dinner."

They laid back down facing each other and continued talking,wide awake now.

"I only counted 3," Retsuko observed.

"I guess Kirk decided not to come up."

There was a little bit of tension in his voice at the mention of his older brother's name.

"I've never known such a family before. Growing up for me was just me and my great aunt and my grandmother. Like I said I never had any siblings or big family..."

Her voice trailed off as she got lost in thought.

"What's it like having a big family?"

Haida thought for a moment.

"There's a lot of fighting and competition. But when an outsider threatens us we band together. Nobody picks on your siblings but you. And you take care of each other."

Haida grew silent then, lost in his own thoughts.

"Do you think that your family likes me, Haida?"

The tall hyena pulled his girlfriend closer and kissed her on the nose.

"They do darlin; you've got Mama's approval, that pretty much says it right there."

"I don't want you to meet my great aunt and my grandmother, Haida."

Haida propped himself up on one elbow and looked at Retsuko, surprised at this sudden announcement.

"Why not, Tsuko?"

"Because they're anti-interspecies and they will hate you and do everything in their power to split us up. I have mentioned you to them but they don't know you're a hyena. I don't want anything to mess us up. That's why I'm telling you this now. That's why I was so nervous about that issue when we came here. I've seen it first hand and I never liked it or thought it was fair. Your family is so big and nice and comfortable and mine is like a fridge. Small, cold, and hard."

She glanced away from him, a bit ashamed at having to tell him like this. But she wanted to beat it to the punch.

"If you've mentioned me," Haida said calmly, "then we have to meet. It might cause you problems in the future with them if they don't see this mysterious male figure in you're life and watch him interact with you. I don't want that for you."

Retsuko nodded. Haida had a valid point. Plus it would simply be more respectful to him as well. How would she like it if he kept her a secret from his family?

"Are you mad Haida? That I said that?"

He lowered himself back down, leaving his arm stretched out under his head, still looking at her.

"If course I'm not mad. You had an issue and we addressed it. Part of being a couple."

Haida reached over with his free hand and stroked Retsuko's cheek. He grinned to lighten the mood, and Retsuko could see his tail wagging under the blanket hopefully.

"I know another part of being a couple, as well..."

"Not right now, sweetheart, take a raincheck on that for now."

"Aww man..."

Part 24: Dinner

"... And the next thing I know, here comes Haida, tearing out of the woods with Levon right behind him, with that stupid hat on his head and those bees right behind them! I told him not to do that!"

Dinner was an interesting affair, with Jonathan taking the helm of conversation and telling funny stories around the dinner table that had everyone in an uproar of laughter.

Haida was simply covering his face in embarrassment, but even Retsuko laughed at some of Jonathan's stories and antics.

The only creature who wasn't laughing or talking aside from Haida was his older brother Kirk, who simply sat staring at his plate, occasionally raising a bit of food to his mouth.

A slight lip curl crossed his face every time Haida's name was mentioned.

Finally he stood and excused himself roughly, making the cacophony of laughter fall silent as everyone stared, not expecting this event.

Kirk took his plate and went upstairs, and everyone heard the sound of his bedroom door slamming behind him.

Retsuko glanced around at the small sea of now sad and aggravated faces at the table. Haida was simply staring at his plate, not moving, his hands on his lap with a funny look on his face.

"I guess Kirk is in a mood again," said Ross. "I'll go talk to him later."

"I'm sorry," Haida said.

Jean pointed his fork at his youngest son.

"You got nothing to be sorry for, boy. Don't worry about it."

May stood up, and clapped her hands once to lighten the mood.

"Okay, who wants dessert? I made hazelnut pie!"

Retsuko glanced over at Haida, sitting next her. The look on his face was one of despair and sadness, and not even his mother's hazelnut pie could cheer him up. He barely took a bite.

After dinner Haida went upstairs to his room, saying he was really tired after the long drive despite the nap he and Retsuko had shared earlier. Retsuko knew he wasn't tired; he wanted to be left alone for a while. Whatever had happened between he and Kirk was clearly bothering him.

Retsuko waited in the front room for about hour, making small talk with Jean and May about the farm, then politely excused herself to bed.

Haida's bedroom door was closed when she went upstairs and she knocked gently for entrance.

"Who is it?" she heard him say loudly and not exactly politely from the other side.

"It's Retsuko dear. Can I come in?"

She heard footsteps and the door opened to reveal Haida's face looking out. His eyes were red rimmed and the room was dark.

"Of course, Tsuko- you don't have to ask, you know."

He calmly opened the door to let her in and closed it behind her, then went and sat down on the bed.

Retsuko followed and sat down next to him and put her arm around his shoulders as best she could.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.

"No. I don't want to spoil the trip anymore than it already has been. I will explain later, but just know that it has nothing to do with you."

Retsuko decided not to push the issue further, as it was his business. She just wanted to be there for him.

She squeezed his shoulder.

"Let's go to bed. Things will be better tomorrow."

Part 25: Nightfall

Haida woke later that night to hear Retsuko gently snoring beside him in his bed. Their bed now.

Sometimes it was hard for him to think of things in the terms of "theirs", as he had been by himself most of his life. But now that he had her in his life he would happily make that a new habit. They had known each other for so long he felt like she had always been there.

Life without her somewhere with him was now unimaginable.

He turned over and looked at her. She was sleeping on her side, facing him. Her ears were kind of dropped down over her head and he could see her nose twitch occasionally as she dreamed.

A thought occurred to him, and he knew what he wanted to ask her tomorrow. It would be a big step for them both.

She had kicked the blanket off in her sleep in a bid to get cooler, now covered with only her cotton nightgown.

Haida reached and pulled the blanket back over her and settled back down to sleep. Retsuko snuggled closer to him and halfway woke up and kissed him sleepily.

"Raincheck?" she mumbled.

"Not now sweetheart. Go back to sleep."

Part 26: Day 2 At The Farm

Retsuko dreaded going downstairs and facing the reality that was Kirk vs. Haida, but at Haida's behest and Ross' news that Kirk would be staying in town for the duration of Haida's visit, tension in the house went down considerably.

Breakfast was a simple affair of cornbread, syrup, coffee and beans for protein. Despite its simplicty, Jean was a really good cook and everything was delicious.

After breakfast, Haida left Retsuko in the dining room with May and began to help clean up the kitchen with his father. Jean washed dishes and Haida wiped up and put away.

"I gotta talk to you boy."

Jean pulled his hands out of the sink and dried them off as he turned to his son.

"I like this lady you've brought home. She's very polite and sweet and if you decide to ring her I wouldn't mind one bit. So know that the problem I have is not with her."

Jean lowered his voice a little.

"The problem I have is with you and Kirk. I know you've stayed away all these years because of what happened, but what made you think you could come back and just expect everything to be okay between you two? I know it wasn't your fault. I just wish you two could work things out so we could have normal family gatherings again. I got one son who has to stay away and another son who won't come near. I didn't raise you two like that. You used to be two peas in a pod."

"Pa, I-"

"Your Mama won't be alive forever and it hurts her to see her sons fighting for so long. You two need to hash it out and hash it out now."

"Pa, I've tried. When I came back I not only wanted you guys to meet Retsuko, first and foremost, but I was secretly hoping things had cooled down with him. Why come to me? He's the one with the problem. You should be talking to HIM."

Haida closed a cabinet really hard and leaned on the counter, not facing his father.

"I've tried, Haida."

The younger hyena looked over his shoulder at the sound of the older saying his name. It was really rare when that happened, and it only happened when his father was dead serious about something. He usually just called his son boy or some other small nickname.

His father didn't look at him as spoke.

"He won't listen to reason. You've always been the quiet one. The peaceful one. The diplomat of the family. That's why I'm coming to you. Surprisingly, you're the only one he might listen to. All I'm asking is to please try, son. Get your siblings together if you have to. Just try to bury the hatchet. Please."

"Ok Pa. I'll try. Again."

Part 27: The Half Tour

Haida had decided the best way to ask Retsuko his question was to make a day of it and show her around the farm. It wasn't a very big farm.

Haida explained as they walked around the perimeter of the property that it had about 3 acres to grow wheat, corn and soybeans during the spring and summer months, and during the fall and winter the ground was allowed to lay fallow in preparation for the next growing season. The family made their money by selling whatever extra crops they happened to have after putting aside seed crops and family needs.

Haida also explained that after his Mama and Pa passed that it would be willed to Maya to run as she saw fit, since she was the oldest.

Retsuko leaned against the fence, looking out over the fields that her boyfriend himself had helped till and plant in the past. It fascinated her to think that those breadcrusts she had eaten in secrecy with mayonnaise for lunch there for a while could have come from the wheat grown at this very farm. Another connection with her boyfriend made.

Retsuko huddled down into her coat as a chilly breeze blew in her face. Haida looked down and noticed her shivering. Due to her smaller size, He knew that she got colder faster than he did.

"Okay, let's go on back in, it's cold out here."

Haida turned and got on his knees in front of her.

"Climb on my back. It'll warm you up a little and help you get inside faster."

"Seriously?"

"Climb on-my knees are getting cold here."

Retsuko walked forward and uncertainly put her arms around his neck and searched for his ruff through his clothes to give herself a grip. Haida moved his arms backwards and tucked them under her legs.

"I've got you. Hang on tight."

Retsuko tightened her grip around him and he quickly stood up, causing her to give out a surprised squeak.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. You're just so tall..."

She had never realized how high off the ground he was! She dug her fingers into his ruff and pressed her face into his back.

"Walking." he said, and began the lengthy trip back to the house.

Retsuko studied his gait as he walked, feeling it underneath her as she clung. It was a gentle sway coupled with a long step here and there.

His movements were calm and precise and sure and if it wasn't so cold she could have easily fallen asleep to them. She realized he really was quite warm, and moved her face to the side and looked at the fields as they moved past.

"Haida?"

"Tsuko?"

She could sense him smiling a little bit in front of her.

"I love you."

"I love you too. What brought this on?"

Retsuko felt his back tighten a tiny hair. He was getting nervous.

"I just wanted to say it. Sometimes I think I don't tell you enough."

His back relaxed again.

"I know you do, sweetie. You don't have to tell me."

She shivered a little bit and clung to him a little harder.

"Tsuko?"

"Haida?"

"I have something I need to ask you. If you say no, then I won't ask again."

Haida paused in his speech for a long moment, long enough for Retsuko to think he had changed his mind.

"Haida?"

"Tsuko, we spend so much time together and have known each other and been together for so long,and it occurred to me last night that each of our apartments have become like home away from home for each other. So...so what would you think about moving in together after the holidays?"

Part 27: Home

Retsuko was taken aback for a moment. This would be a big step for them. She realized that the concept of moving in together had never occurred to her due to the fact that not only was this her first real, true, honest relationship, not a fling or casual dating, but she had really not expected for them to get this far and this serious.

Haida was right. Both their apartments were home away from home, to the point that they kept clothes in each others' closets and had apartment keys so that they could randomly decide who stayed where and could just drop by.

She thought for another moment. She loved Haida, and if they were to eventually get married (gasp) then this would be kind of a trial run. They could work out anymore kinks they might have and transition smoothly into marital life.

The idea that Haida loved her enough to want to live with her was also flattering.

Might as well combine forces, so to speak. They already had, more or less.

"Okay. But we have to seriously sit down and discuss it first. Budget, what place, who does what, etc."

"Yesss. I was hoping you'd agree."

Retsuko observed a little more spring in his step.

"Why were you hoping I'd agree?"

Haida turned his head a hair and glanced back at her as she looked over his shoulder.

"This is going to sound sappy, but my home is wherever you are and I'd feel more comfortable living with you than by myself. It gets lonely in my apartment."

"Aww."

She gave his neck a small squeeze as a form of hug, and he gave her legs a small squeeze in kind.

Part 28: Snowed in

It was afternoon as they made their way onto the porch, and Maya met them at the door.

"Lord have mercy you two, I was about ready to send Ross after you! You didn't pick up your phones when I tried to call you or anything. We need to buckle down, there's a blizzard coming and it'll be here by tonight."

"Sorry sis, the signals must have been down out there."

Haida and Retsuko looked at each other as they stepped into the house and began removing their coats. Haida stopped and started putting his back on.

"Where are you going?" Retsuko asked.

"I need to go help my brothers get everything ready for the storm. I need you to stay in, please, Tsuko. I don't want you to catch a chill or get really sick."

He bent down and gave her a little peck on the mouth.

"I'll be back after while."

He put his toboggan back on and stepped back outside, closing the door behind him.

Despite the circumstances, it amused Retsuko a little bit how Haida sometimes lapsed back into his original country way of speaking, especially now that he was back at his cubhood home. Instead of saying "I'll be back in a little while", it was small things like "I'll be back after while". It was really interesting, because it showed another layer of his character.

Retsuko climbed onto the back of one of the couches and watched through one of the front windows as Haida stood in front of the house and raised his hands to his mouth, calling his brothers.

Ross and Kirk came from the direction of the barn, and Jonathan and Levon came from around the house. Apparently Kirk had come back to help and stay because of the storm.

When all were gathered, it was like watching a football team confer-large males huddled in a group speaking rapidly to each other. Retsuko couldn't hear what was being said, but Ross seemed to be the leader, as he would talk to them and gesture in various directions from time to time.

Finally, all nodded in some sort of agreement, except for Kirk, who stepped back from the group and pointed angrily and vehemently at Haida, shaking his head and saying something.

Ross looked extremely frustrated at Kirk, gesturing at him and then at Haida, who simply stood with his head down.

Finally Ross seemed to give up and, speaking, pointed at Kirk and Jonathan, then himself and Haida.

The two groups split up, Haida, Jonathan, and Ross going to the barn, Levon and Kirk headed to the woods that surrounded the house.

"Haida, Ross and Jonathan are headed to the barn for the generator and the kerosene heaters, and to check on the grain supplies."

Retsuko gave a little jump as she realized Maya was sitting next to her watching the goings-on as well.

Maya continued.

"Levon and Kirk are going to gather firewood in case we need it."

"Do you think we'll get snowed in?" Retsuko asked, a little bit worried.

"I know so." Maya turned around and settled back on the couch next to Retsuko, who was still looking out the window.

"This isn't out first rodeo, though, Miss Retsuko. That's how we know what to do. Don't worry, we've got this."

The front room was quiet for a few moments, then Retsuko addressed the proverbial elephant in the room:

"It might not be any of my business, and I'm sorry to ask, but why does Kirk seen to hate Haida so much?"

Retsuko glanced down at Maya from the back of the couch.

Haida's sister was silent for a few moments. Then she spoke. She spoke slowly, as if she were choosing her words carefully.

"With all due respect Miss Retsuko, I'd rather not say right now. I understand you want to get to know everyone, because you are very sweet and accommodating, but Haida is my baby brother, and I wouldn't do a thing to hurt him or his relationship with you.

I fear if I tell you it will ruin what he and I and what you and him have. Please, understand that Haida didn't do a thing wrong to cause our brother's wrath. No matter what, I beg you to understand and remember that. Haida will tell you in his own good time; to be honest I think he's afraid to tell you because he doesn't want you to turn away from him."

"So, something happened between he and Kirk that wasn't Haida's fault, but Kirk blames him?"

"Yes. That's all I'm going to say on it. I don't want to put your relationship or my own with my baby brother on the line. It will come out in its own time and then you can do with it as you will. Just remember what I told you: it wasn't Haida's fault and he did nothing wrong."

Retsuko turned back to the window, pondering this new imformation and saw Haida and his brothers coming back from the barn, the three of them each carrying a big kerosene heater in front of them. Eventually she heard a thump on the porch and Jonathan stuck in his head in the door.

"Hey sis, we're going to run and get the generator and then we'll be in. The grain stocks and the dried fish in the hayloft are okay for now so we have food if we need it."

"Ok Jon."

Jonathan disappeared outside again, leaving Maya and Retsuko alone again.

"I'm going to go put a kettle on for them for when they get back."

Maya hopped up and went in the direction of the kitchen, and Retsuko could soon hear the sounds of cabinets opening and closing and the clank of a kettle being put on the eye of a stove.

The storm was really starting to set in now. Retsuko had never seen a blizzard set in before. It looked like normal stormclouds, only much much heavier and darker, and lightning actually could be seen in them. Snowflakes were starting to fall in droves and the wind was picking up. She started to panic a little bit.

"Maya! Maya, it's starting! When are they coming in??"

Maya appeared behind her and looked out the window again.

"They'll be in, missy. My brothers may be idiots but they have good sense."

"You really love them, don't you?"

"With all my heart."

Not too long after that, they heard several thumps on the front porch and saw Haida's arm open the door, followed by the rest of him. He bowed out for a second and came totally inside holding one of the heaters from the barn, which he set in front of the staircase by the door. Stepping quickly aside, he let the rest of his brothers in with their heaters and then quickly closed the door against the growing wail of the cold blizzard wind. All were completely covered in snow and were shivering.

Shedding their coats and boots, most of the brothers immediately headed to the kitchen on their sister's order to warm up with some hot tea.

Haida stayed behind to embrace Retsuko. She held herself to him to warm him up as best she could. Ross brought him some hot tea to have in the main room.

After the tea, the brothers and Maya began distributing the heaters throughout the house. One went in the main room in front of the mantle, one went in the kitchen, and the other went in the upstairs hallway, only to be used in the event of a power outage. Firewood was placed on the back porch, easily accessible if needed, as was the gas-powered generator. The chimney and the mantle had been checked earlier by Maya.

As the howling wind of the blizzard grew louder, there was then simply nothing else to do but buckle down and wait it out.

The family minus Kirk sat around the the main room, talking and telling stories. Jean was in his huge recliner and May was reading a book with their children gathered round, until late in the evening, when the tired brothers began to gradually excuse themselves to bed, including Haida. Retsuko decided to join him. It was cold tonight and they needed to stay warm.

As Haida and Retsuko ascended the stairs to their room, they each received a text message on their phones.

Part 29: Cold Night

Almost as one, the couple pulled their phones out of their pockets and looked. It was text from work, from Director Ton, to be exact. It read:

'To Employees of the Accounting Office of the Company:

Due to bad weather holiday vacation has been extended until the first of next month, as per the CEOs orders. I had better see you back at that time as there will be a lot of catching up to do, or THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.

Signed,

D. Ton of Accounting'

Haida chuckled.

"Even in writing you can hear him being irritated."

"Totally."

"You known that means another 3 weeks, right?"

"Awesome."

They entered their room and Haida plopped down on the bed.

He realized he was exhausted, but a thought occurred to him.

"How do you think Fenneko is doing in all this?"

"Oh no, maybe we should check on her," Retsuko said, concerned.

Haida got his phone out again and tried to call Fenneko's number. No luck. Tried again. Nothing.

Finally as a last resort he called her using a video app he had. It picked up.

"Hello?" they heard their friend say.

Haida and Retsuko could see Fenneko was sitting at her desk wrapped in a blanket, presumably looking at them via computer screen. She had a cap on her head as well.

"Oh gosh, h-hey!" She gave a little nervous wave. "How are you guys? I've been trying to raise you on your phones and and I keep getting nothing because of this blizzard coming in."

"We wanted to check in on you and make sure everything was okay," Retsuko said. "Do you have plenty of food and blankets and stuff?"

"Yes I do, guys, thank you for checking in. Like I said-"

The picture signal went pixelated for a moment then returned.

"-phones and kept getting nothing. I was worried. Did you get that text from Ton?"

"Yes we did. We wanted to verify that with you as we-" Haida stopped talking for a second as someone crossed the room behind his friend.

"Who's that with you?" Retsuko and Haida both said almost at once.

"Oh...ahhh...that's just..." Fenneko stammered for a moment and her face turned red until a familiar wildcat's face appeared on screen behind her and waved.

"Hey dudes!"

Haida and Retsuko sat stunned for a moment.

"Manumaru? From sales?" Retsuko asked, surprised.

"Yeah, sorry guys, didn't mean to interrupt your talk. I was just bringing some stuff over for your friend so she wouldn't be without during this storm in case the power went out and she got snowed in. See ya!"

He walked out of frame again.

The couple just looked at Fenneko and grinned a little bit.

"Don't you two say a word. He's just here as a friend. That's all."

"I heard that!"

"Shut up!" She said in a direction off screen.

"You hurt so good, baby, I love it!"

Fenneko covered her face in embarrassment.

"Guys I'm fine," she said through her hands. "Yes, I got the text as well. Looks like we're off for another three weeks."

"Okay," Haida said, doing his best not to crack up. "We...we just wanted to check in that's all."

"Okay guys. I'll see you in a few weeks."

"Bye!" the couple waved.

"See you!" said Fenneko, then hung up.

Haida and Retsuko fell back on the bed laughing their tails off until their stomachs hurt and they were out of breath.

Seriously? Hard-case Fenneko and the wildcat from sales?? They never would have guessed that in a million years!

Retsuko looked over at Haida and wiped a tear from her face after she had managed to finally stop laughing.

"Looks like the cats literally out of the bag," Haida snickered, which just set Retsuko off again.

Finally they managed to stop laughing and just laid there and looked at each other. Haida came forward and gave her a little kiss and nuzzled her neck.

"Lets get to bed, dear. Its cold and you're tired."

"Sounds good sweetheart."

Part 31: Cold Night Act 2

Retsuko woke later that night to the sounds of the blizzard wailing outside. Aside from that it was deafeningly quiet. Even Haida's snores were quieter tonight.

She turned over and studied his face as he slept. She had done this countless times before, but every time she did she felt like she saw something new about him; sometimes it was something as small as a subtle ear twitch. Other times it was something as different as seeing a new marking on his face she hadn't noticed before.

She looked as his eyes as he slept, the lids closed before her as he dreamed. His face twitched from time to time, sometimes looking frightened or worried, then happy. His eyebrows would scrunch together and his nose would twitch. Sometimes even his lip would curl up for a moment or two, showing his fangs.

Feeling chilly in only her cotton gown, she snuggled against him a little more. Without even missing a breath or waking up, he automatically reached an arm around her and pulled her closer to him.

As Retsuko pressed against him for warmth and felt his heart beating against her own, she finally understood why some creatures wrote sad songs about lost love and why some rich kings and queens of the past would dedicate entire mountains and build huge temples and tombs for their lost mates. It was a form of catharsis, a way of never losing those they loved, fighting back against death til the bitter end.

She could never imagine losing Haida. The idea was unthinkable. She would build the biggest tomb out of the biggest mountain in the world for him.

Retsuko tried to close her eyes and go back to sleep but the intrusive thoughts kept coming now and she began to worry.

What would happen if something really did happen to Haida?

What on earth had happened between him and his brother Kirk that was so terrible as to make Kirk hate him so much?

She remembered what Maya had said; to always remember that whatever it was it wasn't Haida's fault. Their father Jean had also pointed out at the dinner table that day that Haida "had nothing to worry about."

Haida also wanted to meet her Great-Aunt and her Grandmother. That was going to go down like a screen door on a submarine. Her relatives were very old-school in their way of thinking and she was really afraid that it would offend Haida so much it might cause some sort of fight between herself and her Grandmother.

How badly would her pay be cut when she came back to work? She still had to pay rent and buy food.

She hoped Fenneko was doing okay with the storm right now, and hoped Manumaru was there with her to at least keep her company.

She wrapped her free arm around Haida as best she could. Sometimes the fact that she was smaller than he was could be a disadvantage, such as cases like this. She wanted so badly to be able to wrap her arms completely around him and cuddle him just like he did her. But at the same time, she was glad she was smaller so they could cuddle closely like this.

Haida stirred a little bit and opened his eyes halfway.

"Hey, you're awake," he said sleepily. "Is everything ok?"

"No. I keep thinking about things."

"Such as?"

"Possibly losing you, Fenneko being trapped out in the storm, meeting my family, pay cuts when we get back, need I go on?"

Haida stroked her face and head reassuringly and she took his hand and held it to her cheek.

"You're not going to lose me, sweetheart. I don't plan on leaving or kicking off for a long time. My grandpa and grandma lived to be 90 and 94.

Fenneko is tough and she can fend for herself, plus she has Manumaru looking after her.

When it comes to meeting your family, that's just one of those things we'll have to risk and play by ear. That way we can say we at least tried.

When it comes to our pay, I wouldn't worry about that. Ton may be a horrible boss but he's really particular about the system being balanced and the system includes our paychecks. If they get cut then he will likely fight it tooth and nail in order keep things balanced in the department. Makes it easier for him. Feel better now?"

"I do, Haida. Thank you."

"Good."

Haida snuggled her closer to him again and laid his head on top of hers so she was under his chin. He loved her so much and was willing to allay any fears she had no matter what time, day or night.

"Goodnight Haida."

"Sweet dreams."

Part 32: Snowstorm

The next morning was a tumult of activity after a hasty breakfast as everyone went from room to room, window to window and door to door checking how high the snow was and observing any possible damage.

The snow had drifted thickly everywhere, reaching the middles of the windows in some places; it had piled on the front porch so badly Jean couldn't get the screen door to open without risking breaking it. The only way out was through the back door, and there were still big snow drifts near the house in that direction. The path to the barn and thus their food supplies was drifted over and would have to be dug out, to the brothers' great aggravation.

After much fussing and cursing from the group (including Haida), they all mutually began to get their snow gear on (Haida had found his bagged up in his closet and was surprised it still fit him) and got ready to go out and face down the figurative ice giants and snow beasts outside. Jonathan had fortunately had the forethought to bring the snowshovels onto the back porch along with the generator before everything hit.

Retsuko fussed over Haida before he went out, making sure his hat was on tightly and his scarf wouldn't come loose and would cover his face to keep his nose warm.

Once again Haida asked her to stay inside, saying that with this much snow and her smaller size than them, she could sink into a snowdrift and not be found for a long time.

Leaving her inside, Haida and his brothers stepped out into the blinding whiteness. The cold hit Haida's face and made him take in a long breath of cold air which set him to coughing.

The snow wasn't too bad near the back of the house, so they were simply able to walk in it up to a point.

Ross fell into step next him as he coughed, snowshovel over his shoulder as they made their way across the field to the snowdrifts they had to deal with.

The snow was knee deep to them in some places and they all had to shovel to make a clear path on the way.

"City life's done went and made you soft, huh bro?" Haida's oldest brother joked at him as they worked.

Haida finally finished coughing as his lungs adapted to the cold air and dug his snowshovel down into a drift to help get it moved. His farming experience that had lain dormant for so long kicked back in and he was soon digging and pushing with the rest of his brothers with ease.

Ross spoke up again as the group rested in between drifts as they worked their way to the barn.

"Haida, I know I've said this before but I'm really glad you're back. We've all missed you. Mama was so happy when you called her that day and said you were coming home. You may be a big boy now but you'll always be the little brother and no matter what we'll always want to look after you."

Haida gave Ross a little fistbump on his shoulder.

"Thanks brother, I'm glad to be back."

They stood in silence leaning on their shovels for a few more minutes, enjoying each other's company like they had before so many times in the past.

Levon and Jonathan stood a little farther up the path, also leaning on their shovels, watching Kirk still working away obssessively on a particularly huge and frozen solid drift on the path. He was walking around it, poking it with his shovel, finding the edges and trying to figure out how large it was and whether it could be moved or if it had to be dug around.

Haida decided to diplomatically make an approach to Kirk and offer help. As he took his shovel and walked forward, Ross grabbed him by the shoulder. He knew his baby brother like the back of his hand, and knew exactly where he was headed.

"Don't do it, dude."

"Its time for me to try, Ross. Maybe if I help him he'll be willing to talk to me."

Ross' face grew serious.

"He won't and you know it. He's got a shovel in his hand, too. Not wise."

Haida pulled away and walked forward and past his other brothers, who also quietly shook their heads to warn him away.

There was tension in the air and also an air of hopefulness. All Haida's brothers still had a smidge of hope that maybe Haida's tactic might work. They all got ready for a fight, however.

They planted their shovels and drew a little closer, waiting on the path.

Haida drew close to where Kirk was working. His older brother was standing on top of the frozen drift now, getting an idea of how big it was all the way around, shovel still in hand.

"He-hey Kirk? Do you need some help, brother?"

Kirk turned at the sound of his name and saw Haida standing there. His hand clenched the handle of his shovel and his lip curled, showing fangs.

Haida just barely had time to duck as Kirk's snowshovel went whizzing over his head, end over end, to land handle-first and quivering, in a nearby snowbank.

Kirk snarled and leapt off the drift, eyes bulging and fangs out, and took off after Haida, who had wisely run when the snowshovel was thrown.

Haida was always a fast runner due to his thin frame and long legs, but Kirk was a juggernaut when he wanted to be. He had played football in high school and due to his strength, size, weight, and training, once he got going and set his mind there was very little to stop him.

The other brothers let Haida go and tried to grab Kirk as he blew past them, but the extra energy Kirk had due to wrath was almost hellish and he simply knocked them over and out of his way.

Haida tore down the shoveled-out path as fast as he could, hearing Kirk's snarls and rapid footfalls behind him. He was catching up.

Thinking quickly, Haida realized he couldn't run to the house with his crazed brother behind him; he might hurt someone else. The snowbanks were too high and deep for safety and there were no nearby trees to climb.

There was nothing else left to do.

Haida turned to fight and defend himself, and in that instant Kirk was on him.

Part 33: Snowfall

It took a couple of minutes for Jonathan, Levon and Ross to reach their brothers.

As they came tearing up the trail, they found to their great horror that Kirk had Haida pinned beneath him and was punching him in the face repeatedly and bellowing.

"WHY DID YOU COME BACK YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE YOU CUR YOU MURDERER YOU KILLED HER I HATE YOU LEAVE IM GONNA KILL YOU TOO..."

Ross ran up behind Kirk and as he rose up to give Haida another strike he threw his arms around Kirk's neck and threw his weight backwards to make Kirk fall back off of Haida.

Jonathan and Levon quickly grabbed the almost unconscious Haida and dragged him a few yards away and dropped him on the trail, Jonathan remaining with him to check on him.

Levon ran back to help Ross deal with Kirk.

By now Kirk was up and struggling with Ross to get to Haida again, and it was taking all of Ross' strength and prowess to keep him contained. Levon ran around behind Kirk and grabbed him around the neck and shoulders and allowed Ross to let go for a split second to gain a sliver of strength back.

Kirk brought his head around and tried to bite Levon on the arm, and that was the last straw for Ross.

He had put up with so much of Kirk's behavior since Haida's return-his fowl temper, his mood swings, his alienation of himself and everyone around him, the stress he had put his aging parents under, the stress he had put HIM under, and now finally actually getting physical with his own brothers-this had to stop and had to stop NOW.

All these thoughts ran though Ross' head in an instant and he did the only thing left to do to try to bring Kirk down and hopefully around.

Ross punched Kirk square in the face, the force causing Levon to let go as Kirk fell backwards to the ground.

He got up.

Ross raised his hands and began to bob a little bit in his snow boots. Kirk might have played football in high school, but Ross had been in boxing club and had done very well.

"Kirk, I'm warning you," he said as he bobbed. "Stay down. Go sit. I don't have any choice now. I'll have keep hitting you til you go down or you go sit down. Your choice."

Kirk made another lunge in Haida's direction and Levon grabbed him again. Ross punched him twice in succession, left hook then right.

Kirk went down and this time it took him a moment to get back up yet again.

He lunged one final time, punch-drunkenly running at Ross with his head down. Ross easily brought his fist up to Kirk's jaw and took him down.

Panting a little bit and shaking his right hand from the pain of punching, Ross pointed at Kirk with his left and said simply,

"Stay down."

Ross glanced back up the trail where Jonathan and Haida were. Haida had come around and Jonathan was helping Haida try to stand, his younger brother's arm over his shoulder. Haida was touching the side of his face, which was already swelling and bruised. One eye was swollen shut as well.

The sight almost made Ross fly into a rage at Kirk. He wanted to punch him as badly as Kirk had hurt Haida. But his rational mind kept him calm and he crouched down next to Kirk and looked at him.

He was covered in snow and dirt and his nose was bleeding and his face was bruised. He glared up at Kirk, still insanely angry but knowing if he moved he'd simply be brought down again.

Ross' lip curled and he reached down and grabbed Kirk by one of his ears and the scruff of his neck and jerked him upright, Kirk yelping in pain. He then dragged him over and threw him face first into a snowbank.

Kirk struggled to get up and out and he rolled over to find Ross in his face.

"STAY DOWN!" Ross screamed at him. Levon and Jonathan stared at each other from their places in the trail, and both knew to stay out of this one.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO EVERYONE??" Ross screamed.

His rage was finally out in full force now. This had been going on for 9 years and he was sick of it. It should have been done years ago.

"YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT HURT EVERYONE IN THIS FAMILY BY ACTING THIS WAY, KIRK! MOMMA AND PA ARE HEARTBROKEN, THEY JUST WANT THEIR SON BACK! I WANT MY BROTHER BACK! YOU USED TO NOT BE THIS WAY! AND WHAT ABOUT HAIDA?? HE WANTS NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN AND YOU'VE PUSHED HIM AWAY EVERY TIME! I'M SICK OF THIS, KIRK! SICK TO THE EARS OF IT."

Ross stopped for a moment to catch his breath. He almost crying.

Kirk growled.

"Haida. is. a. murderer." Kirk stopped at each word for emphasis. "He let her die and he could have stopped it from happening!"

Ross got in Kirk's face again and grabbed him by the coat, pulling him up into a sitting position.

"I dare you to say that again."

"Haida. is..."

Ross punched him again and again, to the point that Levon now had to grab him before he did some serious damage.

Ross jerked away from Levon and walked away a little bit, rubbing his nose. It was running. He turned and came back and hunkered down next Kirk again.

"Do you think Cassie would want you to be this way? Do you think she'd want to be with someone who is acting like you are? Do you think she'd want to see you so miserable?" he said to Kirk quietly.

Part 34: Melt

Kirk looked up at the mention of that name. He remembered how she'd looked in her sundress and how she wrinkled her nose when she talked. He remembered her kindness and how patient she was. He remembered the loss and how much he had loved her.

He looked down the trail at Haida, still struggling to stand by himself. Jonathan stood to the side, ready to catch him if he fell.

Haida had his hat in his left hand and was rubbing his injured right eye with the back of his other as it watered in the cold. Kirk had a sudden and unstoppable flashback.

He remembered being 8 years old in his bed, and having woken up in the night to hear sniffling. He remembered clicking on his lamp to find 5 year old Haida standing in the doorway to his room, dressed in his red pajamas and holding his stuffed frog in one hand and rubbing his eye with the back of his other hand and crying.

"Kirt..."

He remembered how Haida had trouble saying his name when he was really little.

"Kirt, there's a momster behind my dresser and it's scary. Can I sleep with you?"

He remembered how he'd let Haida into his bed and they had slept peacefully for the rest of the night. Ever since then, up until he hit a certain age, Haida had always come to him when he was scared or needed reassurance about something.

He glanced down at his hands, bruised and cut up. What would Cassie say about this? What would she say about the way he'd treated his family? She'd call him a monster.

He glanced up the trail at Haida again. Haida had always been the sweet one of the brothers. He never tried to fight or cause problems and he was always looking out for everyone even at a young age. The thought wandered across his mind as to how a sweet brother like him could possibly have it in him to let someone die. He pushed the thought away. He had let Cassie and that was the end of it.

As the thought of Cassie crossed his mind again, he thought about what she would say about Haida and the accident. She would ask him to forgive his little brother. How could he, though? He had taken her away from him.

"Do you not trust your family when we all say it wasn't Haida's fault?" Ross said, still hunkered next to him. "That's hurtful as hell."

Kirk glanced down at his hands again. Cassie wouldn't want this for him. Cassie wouldn't want him to be hurting everyone around him over her. Cassie...Cassie would hate him over what he'd done to Haida today.

Oh god.

Kirk looked down the trail at Haida again and suddenly realized that he'd almost killed his own brother. That he'd almost destroyed his family. That he'd broken his parents' hearts and alienated his brothers and sister from him. The actions of that terrible day had echoed through the years and made changes in things like ripples in a pond.

Cassie would be destroyed by his behavior.

Kirk lowered his head into his injured hands and all the guilt over what he'd done to everyone and the grief that he was finally feeling poured forth in tears.

How could he have betrayed his family like this and betrayed Cassie's memory in this way?

Everyone was there for him and had been there all along and he had never seen it until now.

He had let anger over the accident consume him and dammed up his grief for years until eventually it had turned inward and twisted itself around like an infected hair, becoming larger and more painful every day, until it had burst and almost driven him insane.

Despite all this, however, it would take time for him to forgive Haida for what he had done. He had gotten her killed, and that was something that could never be forgiven.

Part 35: An Open Wound

Retsuko was learning to make onion soup, complements of Maya and May. After the brothers had gone out to deal with the snow, Jean had gone upstairs to take a nap and the two resident ladies decided to team up and teach Retsuko how to make it. It was one of Haida's favorites, and Retsuko was so excited to tell him she'd helped make it.

As she stood at the counter next to Maya chopping oinions, her ear cocked back at the sound of the back door opening. The brothers must be back.

Hopping off her footstool, she spoke as she walked through the kitchen to the main room.

"Hey guys, we were making you all some onion soOH MY GOD, HAIDA!!!"

Her scream brought Maya and May into the main room right behind her, both letting out screams as well.

Levon and Jonathan had brought Haida in and set him on the couch. His face, especially his right side, was an absolute mess of pulverized, bruised, swollen and cut skin. His right eye was swollen shut and he couldn't raise his right ear.

May's mothering instinct kicked in and she immediately ran upstairs to the bathroom to get gauze, painkillers and disinfectants out of the medicine cabinet, and alert her husband as to what happened.

She would fix her baby up first and then there would be hell to pay once she knew he was all right.

Maya ran back to the kitchen to grab an ice pack and a dishtowel to wrap it in for her brother's face. There would also be hell to pay from her once she figured out what had happened. She had a big suspicion about it, too.

Retsuko was leaning on the arm of the couch, reaching out to his face, crying and asking Haida who did it. Haida's jaw was swollen and he couldn't talk, and he was so sore and exhausted he couldn't move.

He turned his head and looked at her with his good eye and it had a pleading look to it, like he was asking her not to be angry. Too late.

Retsuko turned her eyes to Levon and Jonathan, who were standing by waiting for the other shoe to fall.

The rage within her that had been calmed by Haida's presence in her life for so long came to the surface like a volcano.

SOMEONE WAS GOING TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED.

Her fur fuzzed out until she looked about 5 times her size. Her eyes grew large and hard, and her tail fuzzed out so much her gold rings couldn't be seen. Her back arched and her claws and fangs came out and she hissed in a combination of a snarl and her death metal voice.

"WHOOO DIIIID THIIIISSSS??"

Levon and Jonathan backed away, suddenly terrified of the angry orange pointy thing that had suddenly replaced their brother's sweet girlfriend. Retsuko was a female in love, and that can be a very dangerous thing.

She began to stalk towards the pair, hissing.

Haida, summoning up some of his last strength for the day, quickly reached and grabbed her by the tail and pulled her back to him. He picked her up and held her to his chest despite the pain he was in. Retsuko struggled for a moment and then calmed down, realizing where she was again. She sank down next to him on the couch, crying her rage out, and Haida sank back onto the couch again, his head back and his arm safely around her.

Jonathan and Levon seized the opportunity to head upstairs to the safety of their rooms for a few minutes and recover from the day's events. Retsuko was there with Haida and that was all that was needed at the moment.

Retsuko heard the sound of the back door opening again, and this time it was Ross, with Kirk next to him, coming in. They simply walked through the room and went upstairs to Kirk's room. After a few moments Ross came back down, followed by May and Jean. Jean looked furious; he too had a suspicion about what happened.

Taking off his snow gear and hanging it up on the rack by the front door, Ross explained what had transpired out in the snowdrifts.

Everyone was furious at Kirk. May's face was set with an expression of stone as she fixed Haida's face, applying the disinfectant and gauze to the cuts and bruises.

Haida's mouth was so swollen, he could only open it a little bit. Maya had to go to the kitchen for a extra cup of water and a straw so he could swallow the painkillers without opening his mouth completely. She was gritting her teeth and shaking as she squeezed the pain pills into his mouth for him.

Upon hearing what had happened, Jean was halfway up the stairs to Kirk's room before a sharp word from his wife stopped him and brought him back downstairs.

He went and sat in his recliner. His fists were huge as he rested his arms on the arms of the chair. He was shaking and trying to calm himself.

Jonathan and Levon were called downstairs to help fill in the details. They did, and both strategically gave Retsuko a wide berth as they went and sat down on the other couch.

Retsuko had had enough. This secrecy about what had happened with Haida and Kirk was going to stop.

She raised up and sat on the edge of the couch, still next to Haida She raised her voice, calling attention to herself.

"With all due respect! WHAT ON EARTH! HAPPENED! WITH HAIDA AND KIRK!"

She dropped her voice back down once she had everyone's attention.

"I love this hyena! If I eventually become a member of this family, I need to know! You can't keep me giving me the mushroom treatment about this!"

She gestured wildly at Haida's face as he tried to take her hand.

"That's testament right THERE!"

Everyone looked at each other. She was right. Ross took his mother aside and conferred with her quietly, and she went upstairs.

She came back down a few minutes later with a shoebox in her hands.

Pulling a side table out and putting it in front of Retsuko, she knelt down next to it. She placed the shoebox on the tabletop and opened it.

Part 36: Pandora's Box

Retsuko looked inside and noticed papers and photographs.

May pulled the papers out and set them aside.

"Before we tell you, I want you to understand something, Retsuko," she said.

"We've kept this from you because we know you love Haida, and Haida loves you more than anything else in the entire world. As we show you we all beg you to understand and trust us when we tell you it wasn't his fault."

She pulled out a couple of photos from the bottom of the shoebox.

She handed one to Retsuko.

It was a close-up shot of a beautiful young hyena lady, taken on a summer day in a field. She had a gorgeous coat of almost white-gold with a lovely pattern of swirling stripes going from her dark ears all the way down her neck, and she had on a cornflower blue sundress. Retsuko could see her stripe pattern continued down onto her shoulders. She was smiling at whoever was taking the picture.

"That's Cassie," she heard Ross say.

"Kirk loved her so much-to the point he was getting ready to propose. They were inseparable. Almost like you and Haida."

May continued the story, picking it back up from her son.

"9 years ago, Cassie...Cassie was killed in a car accident..."

May looked at her youngest son on the couch next to Retsuko, and she followed her line of vision. Hiada was crying a little bit. Retsuko realized this may be hurting him even more than than the wounds on his face.

"Sweetheart, do you want to go to bed?" Retsuko asked, concerned.

Haida nodded. The painkillers were finally kicking in.

"Okay, c'mon." she slid off the couch and May helped him up. Retsuko placed his arm over her shoulder as best she could because of his height and helped him walk upstairs, May close behind in case he fell.

Retsuko put him to bed. She got him out of his snowgear and he collapsed like a doll into his covers as she covered him with an extra blanket. She handed him his phone.

"I'm going back downstairs, darlin. I'll be back soon. You rest now. If you need anything at all, call me on my phone, okay?"

She turned to leave the room and Haida grabbed her hand.

She turned back to look at him and he was looking at her in such a sad way that she knelt down by the bed and held his hand. She began stroking his chest and shoulder since she was afraid to touch his head.

"Haida, whatever it is that they are about to tell me won't matter. Everyone says that whatever it is isn't your fault, and I believe them all wholeheartedly. Don't worry."

Despite his pain, he leaned up and gave her a small kiss and he looked just worried now instead of sad.

"I trust everyone here, Haida."

He let go of her and she went back downstairs. Everyone was sitting in silence as May thumbed through the papers she had pulled from the box earlier. She looked up as Retsuko came and sat back down on the couch. She continued.

"The car accident was made even worse by the fact that Haida was driving at the time."

Part 37: The Hope Left in the Box

Retsuko's jaw dropped at this revelation. She was frozen. Her hand went up and she covered her mouth for a moment, trying to comprehend this. Yes, Haida liked to drive fast, but he was a really good driver and he had been careful on the trip up there to slow down and not scare his passenger. She made up her mind that Haida would never drive so carelessly as to put a passenger in danger. That was simply not the kind of creature he was.

"H..how did it happen?" she managed to squeak out through her surprise and fear.

Levon picked up the story from his mother.

"Cassie and Haida had gone into town together in his car, and a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and ran a red light and hit them. The truck hit Haida's side of the car but the speed of it forced the car to the other side of the street and they hit a telephone pole."

Levon paused.

"Cassie never made it to the hospital."

May pulled out the papers and another photo. This photo was of the car after the wreck, probably taken for insurance and evidence. It was completely totalled and Retsuko was surprised anyone at all walked away from that.

The last photo was simply of the street and the corner the accident had happened on.

Retsuko observed the corner had a no right turn sign and there were telephone poles lining the left side of the street. Retsuko found it odd that if Haida had been turning left, as the sign instructed him to, why had the pole hit Cassie when she was in the passenger's seat on the right side of the car? The angles weren't right.

She realized this is what made Kirk hate Haida somuch. He believed the opposite of what Retsuko did, that Haida had been driving recklessly and gotten the love of his life killed.

The papers were the police report and court records, showing that witnesses had stated that the truck driver had indeed run the red light and that the traffic courts had found Haida not at fault for the accident. Retsuko studied the papers and photos, thinking.

"I'm sorry, May. I...I don't meant to be morbid and I will defend Haida til my dying day about this, but I'm thinking."

She pointed at the photo of the street. Her analytical accountant mind was turning quickly in defense of her boyfriend, grasping at anything to vindicate him of any accusation of driving recklessly. She wanted to prove to everyone without a shadow of a doubt that Haida was innocent, to cement that fact in everyone's minds, even more than it already was.

"Which pole did the car hit? How fast did it happen?"

May looked a bit irritated at the question and began to start on her, but Maya and her father stopped her.

"Let her talk, May."

"Momma, she may be onto something."

Retsuko took a breath and explained her line of thinking.

"We all know what kind of creature Haida is. He is a kind, sweet hyena who wouldn't hurt a fly or let anything bad happen to anyone. Yes, I've ridden with him. Yes, he drives fast. But when he saw he was scaring me with his speed HE SLOWED DOWN. He is not a reckless driver. So that vindicates on that front. So, May, which pole did the car hit?"

Seeing Retsuko was possibly onto something good, she pointed at the pole on the corner, next to the no right turn sign.

"That one. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that Haida might have been trying to save her."

Part 38: Vindication

Everyone sat looking at her for a moment in surprise.

"I know Haida would give the skin off his back for someone, miss," Jean said, "but how on earth would he manage to save her in such a split second of time?"

Retsuko remembered and described an incident that had happened when she was a cub. She was riding the bus home from school one day and the bus driver had collapsed at the wheel while the bus was moving. The wheel had jerked to the right with the bus driver's dead weight on it, making the entire vehicle turn suddenly and go in a ditch. For some reason that image had always stuck in her mind.

She motioned with her hands, drawing a picture in the air with them.

"The truck driver was supposedly coming straight through the intersection, right?"

"Correct," said May.

"And Haida was turning to the left, correct? Just like the sign said?"

"Correct."

And the car hit that particular pole, correct?"

"Correct."

Retsuko made a motion with her hands again.

"Then the truck should have got Cassie on her side, which would have taken her for sure. But the truck hit Haida's side. Haida saw the truck coming and managed to turn the car so it hit his side instead of hers."

Everyone stared at her, stunned at the Sherlock Holmes style of analysis.

"But the problem was that the truck driver jerked the wheel and mashed the gas when he fell asleep and it turned inward, hitting the car and forcing it into that pole. I know Haida and the evidence points to him trying to save her from being hurt."

The room was silent for several seconds as Haida's family analyzed all this.

May started crying and both Jean and Haida's three brothers started yelling and whooping in happiness. May jumped across the table and hugged Retsuko hard, crying and thanking her over and over.

Maya was still sitting on the couch, stunned and crying herself. She couldn't believe it. This was the most sound, logical explanation of the entire accident and her brother was truly and completely vindicated before his whole family. All that was left to do was to tell him and Kirk. Maybe then Kirk would see the evidence with his own eyes and forgive Haida and the family could start anew.

Retsuko didn't realize it, but in his anxious state Haida had gotten up and limped to the door of his room and quietly listened to his family tell her of the tragedy and Retsuko's analysis of the accident, and his vindication in light of the hard evidence. He cried a little bit despite the pain in his face and eye. This was beyond proof that she loved him and he made a decision right then and there. Haida limped back to bed and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Part 39: Warmth

Retsuko went to bed that night after the conversation feeling as if she had just saved the entire world. She was embarrassed about the attention but at the same time was so incredibly proud of herself.

Haida was asleep with his back to her when she crept into the room. She herself decided to sleep in the trundle bed that night so Haida could have the whole bed to himself to stretch out and move because he was so sore from the beating that Kirk had administered.

She had brought along with her a large glass of water, a straw, and a few pain pills from the medicine cabinet in case he woke up hurting badly. Setting these on the dresser next to his bed, she changed into her nightgown and settled in the floor next to him on the smaller bed. It felt strange; usually she could feel him next to her either behind her back or against her chest. She never realized how empty a bed felt without him being there.

Turning on her side, she realized she couldn't even study his face from her angle on the floor like she always did.

Oh well.

She covered up with a spare blanket and tried to sleep. It was a rough sleep, in which she kept having wierd dreams and waking up.

As she settled to sleep once again after what felt like the 10th time of waking up, she became aware of a gentle tugging on the strap of her nightgown. Looking up, she saw Haida's silhouette in the dark, hanging his arm over edge of the bed and beckoning at her to come up next to him.

She got up and pushed the trundle bed in out of the way and gave him his pain medicine. He could open his jaw a little bit more and was able to swallow the pain medicine by himself. It was, ironically, still painful for him however.

He tried to speak as she stood by the bedside, holding his hand.

"thank...you..." He winced as he tried to move his mouth and tongue.

She knelt by the bed so she could look at him.

"How are you feeling?"

"hurts. shoulders, neck, back..." he also motioned at his eye and face.

Retsuko had just given him pain medicine but that seemed to her to not be enough.

She thought for a moment.

"How about a warm bath for your muscles, and then I'll rub you down? Maybe that will help."

Haida nodded and she helped him up and helped him limp to the bathroom down the hall.

Closing the door behind them, she seated Haida on a stool next to the old fashioned claw-foot tub and began to run warm water in it. As the bathtub filled, she began to help him undress. He was so sore and so covered in bruises under his fur he could hardly move.

Kirk had done a number on his body as well as his face.

Now that Retsuko knew about the circumstances regarding Cassie's death, she felt a small bit of sympathy for Kirk. If that had happened to Haida she would be lashing out as well. It did not condone what Kirk had done in the least bit, but it did change the complexion of the matter a tiny bit.

When the tub was full she helped him in, he holding fast to her hands for support as he lifted his legs and settled into the warmth. She had him settle on the end that had no pipes so she could come around and rub his shoulders and back.

Haida let out a small sigh as he sank in and the water reached his chest.

"Does that help?"

Haida nodded.

Retsuko gently pushed him and leaned him forward a little bit and set to work, gently working on the knots in his shoulders and in his upper back. She soaked his back with a wet washcloth so his fur would soak up the warmth of the water and relax him a little bit. She worked quietly, concentrating on rubbing Haida down properly.

As she worked her way from his back up to his neck and shoulders, he slowly reached back and took her hand and brought her around to face him.

"i love you." he said quietly.

"I love you too, Haida. Try not to talk too much. Your jaw and face need to rest and heal up, ok?"

He nodded and sank further into the warm water as Retsuko leaned her elbows on the side of the tub. The painkiller was kicking in and the combination of the warmth of the bath and Retsuko's rub down was relieving the soreness a little bit and making him really sleepy again.

She tentatively wiped the better side of his face down with the washcloth as best she could without hurting him too much. He winced a little bit but held still. His good eye was half closed as his body and mind told him all was well and it was time to finally sleep.

"Ok big guy, time to come out. You're about to doze off."

Retsuko laid a towel out on the floor next to the bath and helped him out onto it and began drying him off with a second towel. The feel of it rubbing over his sensitive fur was making him breathe hard and gasp as she dried him.

She had to get on the stool to get to his shoulders and chest properly to dry them and continue rubbing them. They were at eye level now and Haida raised his hands to cup her face and give her a soft kiss. He regretted it afterwards, wincing hard, but it was worth it.

After she helped redress him she went to the medicine cabinet and redressed his face. The bruises already looked a little lighter and the cuts were slowly healing and didn't look infected. Haida hissed as she applied the disinfectant and gauze.

When he was fixed up again she let the water out of the tub, put the towels in the hamper and helped him back down the hallway to bed.

Before Haida could lay down Retsuko got in bed first this time and moved up against the wall. She motioned for him to lay down in front of her and had him face away from her.

Haida crawled in and did asked she asked. She pulled the blanket over them and she snuggled up behind him. She put her arms around his chest as best she could and put her knees behind his as best she could.

As they laid there like that, her gradual warmth helped relieve the ache in his back and shoulders even more.

Haida felt so protected right then and loved her even more. He hadn't thought it was possible. He realized he couldn't do without her in his life and that feeling made his decision even stronger.

Part 40: Family Ties

The next morning at breakfast had almost a celebratory air to it. Almost the whole family minus Kirk was gathered at the table talking and telling Haida of the things Retsuko had pointed out during the breakthrough conversation the previous night. Haida already knew but he let his family have their day rather than steal their their thunder.

As Maya listened to the family talk she decided to go up and check on Kirk. He had gone up to his room yesterday and hadn't come down since. Despite his actions yesterday he was still her brother and she still loved him, despite how angry she still was at him.

She hoped he was alright.

His door was the fourth door down the hall, and it was closed when she reached it. She steeled herself and then gently knocked.

No answer.

She tried the door and it opened quietly into the room. Kirk was laying on his bed with his arm over his eyes.

"Kirk? You okay?"

No answer.

He simply turned over and faced away from her.

"Kirk..."

She went over and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Brother, I want you to listen to me. I know you are a complete mess right now. You have all kinds of feelings going around in your head. You're thinking about Cassie and the fact of Haida being here."

She paused, waiting for a reaction.

Nothing.

She continued.

"Ross told us what happened."

No reaction.

"I can't say I'm happy with you for that at all but I want you to know that we all still love you despite everything and we are all here for you. You need to grieve and feel, Kirk. You need to stop holding it in and acting out and hiding like this."

Kirk spoke.

"Are you done, Maya?"

Maya glared at his back and her voice grew hard and authoritative.

"No, Kirk, I'm not done. As your older sister who helped raise you, I am ordering you to come downstairs within 10 minutes and join the family for an important conversation or I swear I will have everyone come up here and we will have the conversation here. We will not be happy about it either because there's no room for everyone in here. Your choice."

Maya got up and left the room, leaving the door open.

She marched downstairs, told everyone what was happening, and set the timer on the stove for 10 minutes. She then sat down in the main room in Jean's recliner and crossed her legs and waited.

There was a quiet settled across the house, a lull before the storm. Everyone knew this tension would have to break, either for good or bad. Everyone was tired of it and all hoped that Retsuko's ace card would resolve the conflict.

5 minutes went by. Tick tick tick.

Kirk had 5 more minutes to get his tail down there or Maya would round everyone up and they would head upstairs.

Tick tick tick.

1 minute.

CREAK.

Maya looked over at the staircase and saw Kirk's feet on the top step.

"Kirk, you have one minute," May hollered from the kitchen.

Not looking up, Kirk slowly came downstairs and sat down on one of the couches, keeping his eyes on the floor. He looked like he was 8 years old again and had been caught doing something bad and was about to be disciplined.

Maya called everyone in and had them bring the kitchen chairs so they could all talk face to face.

"I'm calling us together because I want to finally resolve what's been going on between Haida and Kirk. I'll keep it short. Kirk, we all love you and want you to feel better. Retsuko has something she wants to tell you."

Retsuko, seated next to Haida on the couch and holding the box of photos and papers, leaned over and looked at Kirk, who glared over at her.

"Kirk, your mother showed me the photos of Cassie..."

Kirk's face hardened a little more and then softened, then grew hard again.

"...along with the photos of the accident and the street it was on."

Kirk gave the floor a dirty look, not daring to give it to his mother.

"As I looked at them I realized why you hate Haida so much. It's obvious you blame him for taking Cassie away..."

Kirk kept his eyes down but Retsuko saw his shoulders tremble a little bit.

"...but you blame him even more for driving recklessly...like if he hadn't been, Cassie might have survived. The truth is, he wasn't driving recklessly. He was trying to save her."

Kirk looked up at this, incredulous and a little bit surprised.

Retsuko got up and walked over in front of him and opened the box and pulled out the photo of the street she had looked at yesterday.

Showing it to him, she explained the scenario to him, about how Haida had seen the truck coming and had turned the car so it would hit his side of the car and not hers, but fate had decided to cause the car to hit the telephone pole anyway.

She explained how it would have happened, with the truck driver falling asleep, hitting the gas and turning the wheel at the same time.

She explained about how Haida had slowed down when he had realized he was scaring her on their trip up there. She asserted that Haida was not, in fact, a reckless driver as Kirk had thought for so long.

His face was still angry but it was now a pensive angry, with his elbows on his knees and his hands in the prayer-like position of thought, palms together and looking straight ahead.

Inside, Retsuko smiled a little bit. It looked like she was getting through, at least the smallest bit. She had found a crack in Kirk's armor and was sending light into it to help vanquish his demons.

"tsuko?" Haida said quietly.

Retsuko glanced over and Haida made a writing motion with his hand. Understanding immediately what he wanted, she ran into the kitchen and grabbed the blank grocery list pad and pen off the counter and came back, handing them to him.

Kirk had sat back on couch, now looking not only angry but sad and rather ashamed.

Haida began to write rapidly.

Retsuko remained standing, looking at Kirk.

"Kirk," she said, "I just want you to know that I forgive you. We all do. I have spent so much time with everyone over the last 3 weeks that I feel like a full family member."

She looked around.

"I hope that's okay with you guys."

"That's just fine dear," May said, touched.

Retsuko continued.

"I can understand your grief and rage and confusion. I've been there. You don't know where to go or what to do or how to feel or who to turn to. You're lost, and you feel like you don't have a ground. If that had happened to Haida I would be lashing out as well. So I forgive you for your actions, because you weren't yourself.

Just know that we are all here and you can turn to us and we will support you no matter what. So if you want to cry and grieve there's always a shoulder here to lean on."

Everyone nodded agreement at Retsuko as they looked at Kirk.

Kirk looked sadder and the anger in his face was almost completely gone. His arms were crossed over his chest as he looked away from everyone.

"tsuko?" Haida said again, motioning at the pad.

Retsuko looked at what was written and read it out loud to Kirk.

Haida's words read:

Kirk, it's true that I did try to save her. I didn't say anything though in light of what happened. It seemed to me like it would be boasting. There was a lot going on at that time.

Words can't describe how guilty I still feel for not taking better care of her and not saving her. I know you loved her so much. If I could roll back the years and redo it I would have never taken Cassie into town that day, and if that wasn't to be, I would gladly have taken her place in the wreck if it meant seeing you happy with her.

I haven't said all this because I was afraid. You've been so upset and so angry for so long, brother. That's why I stayed away. I felt like it would be better for everyone if I was gone.

Retsuko paused to wipe her eyes with her hand, her voice cracking as she spoke Haida's heartfelt words to his brother.

But know this, Kirk, the reason we were in town that day was because she wanted to get you something and she needed my help to pick it out. She loved you so much, brother. She wanted to buy a ring. She was going to propose that year.'

Retsuko looked up at the sea of sad and surprised faces, which all flowed as one to look at Kirk. He was looking at Retsuko and there were tears streaming down his face.

He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands.

"I...never got to say...goodbye, or anything..." he sobbed.

The tears were flowing now, real tears, grief and shame tears. His armor was broken and the raw flesh of emotion was now exposed.

He suddenly stood and lurched over to Haida, crying, causing Haida to jerk away and the family and Retsuko to jump in front of him protectively. But it was too late.

Kirk had Haida in a hug, begging him to please, please forgive him, that he hadn't understood til now and how sorry he was for treating him that way.

Haida was half groaning, half crying out in pain before the family got a hold of Kirk and pulled him away.

He sat back down on the couch and continued sobbing, leaning on Ross' shoulder. All the sadness and pent-up feelings he'd been holding in for 9 years came out.

He cried over Cassie, he cried over Haida, he cried over his family.

Everyone held him close in some form, hugging him, patting his back, letting him hug them back and sob into their shoulders.

As he let it all out, there was a sense of great relief throughout the house, as if all the fluids and nastiness of an infected wound had been released.

Haida wrote something on his pad again and gave. Retsuko a gentle nudge on the arm as she stood by the couch watching the goings-on.

It read:

For your eyes only, Tsuko.

1. You've been there, as you said? We might want to talk about that if you want to once I get back to normal.

2. Please go up to our room and look under my dresser. There is a box there that is duct-taped up underneath it. Could you please bring it here? And don't look inside.'

Part 41: Five O Clock Somewhere

Retsuko looked at what was written on the pad and then at Haida.

"Okay," she said. "And yes, that is a matter for later on."

As she went upstairs to their room to fetch Haida's secret box, she was mentally kicking herself over her slip-up. Her statement on having "been there" in the same way Kirk currently was was a subject she had never touched upon with Haida, nor had she ever intended to. It was an extremely painful thing for her to talk about, and she hoped that Haida would leave it alone for a while longer.

Reaching the bedroom at the end of the hall, she went in and knelt in front of the dresser, bending low to look beneath it. She gave a large loud sneeze as she accidentally breathed in a large amount of dust that had accumulated.

When her eyes had stopped watering, she bent back down and looked again. There, in the back corner, she saw a small flat white box duct-taped to the underside of the dresser, just as Haida said there would be.

Stretching as far as she could, she managed to reach it and tear the box away from its resting place. Upon examination the duct-tape appeared to be quite old to the point it had lost most of its stickiness, and, holding the box closed, she peeled it away from the box with ease.

Upon even closer examination the box wasn't pure white. It might have been at one time but it had yellowed a tiny bit due to age, and there were very faint, faded letters embossed on the top. She couldn't make out what it said.

Holding the box closed in one hand, she carried it downstairs and handed it to Haida, who took it and promptly tucked it up under his leg as he sat on the couch. He quickly wrote something down and motioned to his girlfriend to read it.

Don't want anyone to see it just yet. It's for Kirk. Don't say anything.'

"Okay."

By this time Kirk had cried himself out for the time being and now just looked exhausted. His eyes were puffy and red and the fur on his face was stained and dark. He was on the other couch again, now leaning against his mother, who simply held him close to her with her arms around him just like she had done when he was a cub so many times before. She had her head resting on top of his, with a look of great relief and sadness at the same time.

Her baby was hurting and there was nothing she could do for him.

The rest of the family was gathered closely still, showing as much support as possible for him. Retsuko went over and settled next to him and gently patted him on the arm.

Kirk raised his head at the feeling and turned his face to her.

"Miss Retsuko, I'm so sorry for everything."

She continued patting him and told him once again she forgave him because he wasn't himself at that time, because grief can make creatures do strange things.

His mother spoke to him gently and he looked at her as she stroked his ears.

"Honey, why don't we go upstairs and let you lay down for a little while? You've had a rough day. I'll stay with you till you fall asleep, if you like."

As Kirk wiped his eyes and stood, his huge shoulders were down and his tail and ears drooped. He kept his head low and his arms hung by his sides like they weren't attached. It was like he didn't want to walk, and when he finally did it was like it was a huge effort for him to simply take a step. To Retsuko it was like watching a mountain slowly crumbling, and her heart went out to him.

His mother and father slowly and quietly led him upstairs to his room to put him to bed.

When the sound of Kirk's closing door reached their ears, all the siblings and Retsuko breathed a sigh of relief and simply sat for a moment, not saying anything. Finally Maya leaned forward in her seat and ran her hands across the top of her head, flattening her ears momentarily. She looked up at everyone.

"Shoot, I need a beer after that. Anyone want to join me?"

The show of hands was immediate and unanimous and everyone but Haida and Retsuko headed back into the kitchen for alcoholic relief, chairs in tow.

Haida put out a hand and Retsuko helped him stand as he furtively placed the box in his jeans pocket.

By the time the couple had made their way into the kitchen the whole group had already gathered around the kitchen table, beers open and in hand. Maya slid a couple of bottles to Haida and Retsuko across the table as they sat down.

Haida found that although it hurt to purse his lips to the bottle opening, he could at least swallow properly. He took his time with the beer, making small sips to allow his mouth to recover afterward.

The conversation around the table was mainly concerning Kirk and Cassie and how glad everyone was that he was finally grieving properly and letting it out after all these years.

Retsuko listened for a bit, and, without thinking, automatically tossed her head back and began chugging her beer down, as she usually did when she was stressed out. She didn't even realize what she was doing until she noticed the conversation had stopped and everyone was looking at her. Even Haida, who was seated next to her, was leaned away, looking at her in amusement and trying to smile despite his aching cheeks.

Retsuko stared around and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"What?"

That single word broke the surface tension of the situation and everyone started laughing. They had never imagined Retsuko had it in her to be a hard drinker. That led to a roundtable talk about the kinds of drinks everyone liked and various funny and interesting stories about being drunk and hungover. All had their own stories to tell.

Even Haida got in on it, writing his own ventures out on his pad and having Retsuko read them out loud for him. There were stories she had never heard him tell before, which led her to just about falling out of her chair with laughter as she narrated them.

It was such an uplifting thing after all the despair and drama that had just happened, and it was needed.

As she looked around, the red panda realized she had never ever felt more welcome in a place before as she did right then. She had beers, new friends, and the love of her life with her, and she felt content for the first time in a long while.

Part 42: The Box

Another week passed and Haida had proven to be quite resilient when it came to healing. With a combination of Retsuko's nightly baths and rub-downs, pain pills and rest, Haida's bodily soreness was gradually waning and his face began to heal up nicely.

His eye was opening back up and he could talk again with a small bit of trouble thanks to his sore jaw. He could also eat regular food again, also with a small bit of trouble once again because of his jaw. Levon remarked about how lucky Haida was Kirk hadn't broken his jaw, which made Haida wonder if Kirk hadn't actually pulled his punches.

One more week til time to go back. If Haida was going to have the one-on-one he wanted with Kirk, then this was the time. He had to catch him alone, however.

Haida found his opportunity the next day. Kirk was in the kitchen by himself, sitting at the table with a glass of water. He wasn't drinking it, he was simply sitting and staring at it, seeming to be lost in memories and grief.

Haida took a deep breath to calm himself and walked in.

"Mind if I join you, brother?"

Kirk looked up, startled, as if Haida had interrupted a very important train of thought.

"Oh. Uh, sure, little dude. Come sit."

Haida went over and pulled out a chair and settled down across the table from his older brother, being careful to stay leaned back. Just in case.

They sat in silence for a moment, just looking at each each other, then they both spoke at the same time.

"Kirk-"

"Let me get you-"

Haida stopped and urged Kirk to continue.

"Let me get you some pain pills, little brother."

Before Haida could say anything Kirk jumped up and ran upstairs, coming down a few minutes later with a cup of water and three pills, setting them in front of him.

"Go ahead, bro."

Haida simply sat and stared at them, not even touching them.

Kirk saw this and slowly sat back down in his chair, still across from Haida.

"I...imagine you don't trust me anymore, and that's understandable. I don't deserve it after what I did to you. I'm so sorry."

Kirk looked at him with no expression.

Haida's normally calm and quiet demeanor fell away at that and he got angry for the first time in quite awhile. He couldn't help it; all the sadness he had felt over his brother's rejection of him over and over again came out in the form of a storm. He let it out.

He stood up, pointed at his face and smacked the tabletop.

"My...face...is...messed...up. You almost killed me with a snowshovel.

I can't raise my right ear and I'll probably have to see a specialist for it when I get back home. Do you know how expensive that is and how long that will take?

Retsuko's been having to take care of me like I'm a baby. I don't want her to have to act like some kind of servant to me.

All I did was try to be friends again and you treated me like I was some kind of pariah instead of trying to be a grown-up and work things out.

I feel like I can't let you near me now because I'm afraid you're going to come after me again. Do you know how bad that hurts my heart? To have to push away my own brother because I'm afraid of him after I've worked so hard to get close to him again?"

Haida reached up and gripped the side of his face. His jaw was killing him from his speech. He was crying a little bit out of hurt and anger.

"Haida, I deserve every word you've said. I know it will take time to repair our relationship, if it gets repaired at all. All I ask is that we at least try."

Haida got even angrier at that.

"Pa asked me to do the same thing when I came back! Try to get straight with your brother', he said! It's pretty hard to do that when the person won't let you!" he said pointedly. "Are you going to let me this time?!"

Kirk simply looked at him, hands on the table next to his water glass.

Haida calmed himself and realized something about what he had just said. He had said he couldn't let Kirk come near him now. Wasn't that the same crux of what Kirk had done with him? Refusing to let his brother get close to him again because of the other's action?

He had to be the bigger hyena and take the high road. That was just who he was. He had to let Kirk come back.

Haida sat back down again across from his brother, still rubbing his jaw.

"We used to be so close, brother," Haida said, forcing himself to calm down. "I forgive you but that doesn't stop me from feeling angry and hurt over the way I was treated."

"Haida, I deserve every bit of anger and verbose words you send my way. The accident wasn't your fault, yet instead of trying to make sense of it all I simply used you as a scapegoat for my anger at the situation. I really hope we can eventually get back to where we were once, before all this."

Haida stared at him for a few moments, long enough to make Kirk uncomfortable.

"Big brother...I'm...willing to try if you finally are."

Kirk gave a small nervous nod.

Silence again. Haida stood again and pulled the box out of his pocket and sat back down. He held it in his hands for a moment, looking at it. This box held the one final good memory he had of that day, and in a way he was reluctant to let it go. But this box was meant for Kirk and to Kirk it would go.

"Kirk..."

Haida slid the box across the table to his brother.

"...this belongs to you."

Kirk looked at his brother quizzicaly, taking the box and looking at it.

Haida sighed.

"Its a gift...from Cassie."

Kirk looked up sharply at that name.

"Look inside."

Kirk held the bottom of the box and lifted the top off.

Inside was a handwritten note on folded yellow lined notebook paper. It read:

"Dear Kirk,

If you're reading this it means you've found this box in Haida's special hiding place. I don't know how you did it, but you did. Either way, this is for you. Haida and I went into town and bought it and I was going to give it to you this winter. Oh well.

Since you're reading this, I want to ask you if you will marry me? It would be so great if you say yes. Let me know, okay? I won't be mad you found this, I promise.

With this ring, I'd thee wed.

All the love in the universe,

Cassie"

Kirk simply sat and stared at the letter, reading it over and over, taking in a new found remnant of his love.

Haida reached and tapped Kirk's hand, getting his attention again.

"Look inside again."

Cotton lined the inside of the box and Kirk moved it aside to reveal a thick male-style ring. It was made of silver with gold swirls running through it and it was embossed with Cassie and Kirk's names around the inside.

Kirk began to quietly weep as he put it on.

He kissed it, and whispered "I do."

Haida simply sat with his head down, letting Kirk absorb this new thing. Maybe this would help him heal a little more.

Part 43: Leaving Home Part 1

The end of the week came and with it came the long goodbye. The snow was melting sufficiently enough to allow the brothers (sans Haida due to the fact he was still recovering a little bit) to begin the digging out process, which included digging a swath around the house from the back door to the front door and digging Hiada and Retsuko's car out of its frosty cocoon.

As Retsuko and Haida were packing their things for the trip back within the next couple of days, she watched them from Haida's bedroom window. She was grateful, but it was still slightly amusing to Retsuko to watch the brothers trying to dig the car out so they could try and get it out to start it.

It was so covered in snow that they had managed to get the back end uncovered but that was it. After a few moments of huddling, they seemed to come to some sort of an agreement and Jonathan ran inside. She heard him coming up the stairs, and then a knock.

"Hey guys, it's Jonathan, can I borrow your car keys?" he said through the door.

Haida opened it and stuck his head out.

"What for?"

"We need to try to start it."

"Do you need my help?"

"We might," Jonathan said. "You're a lot skinnier than we are."

Haida looked at him for a moment, puzzled.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he said.

Jonathan leaned on the doorframe with one hand, placed the other on his hip and looked down with an amused expression, then looked back up at Haida.

"Remember that time Pa locked his keys in the truck when we were cubs?"

"Which time?"

His older brother gave a snicker at that.

"Ha ha. You were about 7 and Pa had come back from-"

A look of realization crossed Haida's face and his eyes got big.

"Oh no, you don't need me to do that again, do you?"

Jonathan grinned. "And you had to do that thing with the back window?"

"I don't even know if I can fit to do something like that anymore!" Haida sputtered.

"You'll try, won't you, bro? Please? For old times sake?"

Haida thumped his head on the door in a show of aggravation.

"Oookaay..." he grumbled. "I'll be out in a few minutes. Good thing it's a hatchback."

Jonathan laughed.

"That's what we were thinking."

He turned and headed back downstairs and outside, where Retsuko could see him talking to the others and gesturing. After a moment the others started laughing, presumably at Jonathan's description of Haida's reaction.

Retsuko turned and looked at Haida, who was grumbling to himself and putting on his snow gear and boots on the bed.

"What do they need you to do that you dislike so much?" she asked.

"You'll see. Just try not to tease me about it too hard later. Be back in a little while."

Retsuko watched with great interest out the window as Haida came into view outside. He said something rough to his brothers, who only laughed and pointed at the car. Haida pointed at the window where Retsuko was as she watched and Jonathan looked at Haida then grinned and waved at her. She waved back uncertainly.

Ross and Levon began pulling on the back hatch of the car as Kirk unlocked it with Haida's keys. After a moment's pulling and jostling from the three, the frozen back hatch came loose from the icy grip it was in and slowly came up, revealing the large interior back space. Haida stood and stared for a moment, then began to climb up into it.

Retsuko was very puzzled. What on Earth was he DOING?

She saw Haida's top half go in, and his bottom half appeared to struggle for a moment, then it followed. His boots and tail disappeared and the rest of the brothers leaned in, laughing and looking. She saw the car begin to bounce and move around for a minute or two then she saw the taillights come on.

She started laughing along with the brothers. She had never seen Haida have to climb into a car like that before and now that she had figured out what he was doing it was hilarious.

The taillights went off and she heard the faint sounds of the engine trying to start through the window glass. The brothers were shouting encouragement through the back hatch at Haida as he tried the engine again and again. Finally it caught and a great cloud of snow, steam, and exhaust gas burst from the tailpipe. Haida continued gunning the engine to keep it from dying and to help warm it up.

The brothers closed the hatch back and Haida stayed in the car, letting the engine run for a few more minutes. If Retsuko knew Haida he also had the car's heater cranked up full blast.

While Haida did his part the brothers worked together for a little while to clear the snow away from the back end and the ground behind it so Haida could possibly back it out.

Ross knocked on the back windshield with his gloved hand and gestured at Haida to try to back out. Retsuko continued watching, and it amazed her how well the brothers always worked together when they got along. Sometimes it was almost as if they were of one mind.

The reverse lights on the car came on and Haida gunned the engine again. At first it stuck in the snow, then the tires caught and it reversed out in a slippery manner and stopped. The snow had been drifted on it so tightly that there was a car-shaped hole where it had been a moment ago, and snow still clung to the windshield.

Haida turned off the car and got out and Ross slapped him on the back and gestured for him to go back in the house.

She turned away from the window to continue packing and heard Haida coming back up the stairs.

He slowly opened the bedroom and peeped in, embarrassed for Retsuko to have seen him in such a ridiculous position.

She simply smiled at him.

"I've never seen you go diving like that before."

Haida began taking off his snow gear.

"Yeah, that's why they needed me. They were too big to crawl through the car to start it up."

"It didn't hurt you, did it?" Retsuko asked, concerned.

"No, it didn't bother me that much. Besides, I need to use my muscles and get them used to working again. I think it's ridiculous Mama banned me from helping dig our own car out."

"She's just really concerned for you; and see? I told you there's advantages to being skinny, didn't I?" she teased.

Haida feigned looking hurt for a moment then stood, walked over and scooped her up in his arms, bridal style. He could pick her up with little problem. He gave her a nose nuzzle.

"Well, you really must be feeling better," she said coyly, giving his ruff a gentle tug through his sweater. She loved being this close to him again like this.

"There's also advantages to being tall, miss panda, as you also pointed out," he said playfully. "For example, there's no escape once I have you. I can do this..."

He tickled her and held her tight, watching her laugh.

He suddenly had an idea.

Still holding her close, he swiftly moved her so her legs found themselves resting on his hips, and he moved forward, pinning her between himself and the bedroom wall. Retsuko gave a gasp of surprise at this turn of events. She wrapped her legs around him harder to keep from falling and held herself to him, putting her arms around his neck, and also used the wall as a brace to hold herself.

"...and I can do this." he whispered to her.

Haida placed his arms on the wall on either side of her head, still holding her firmly against the wall, and looked into her eyes. His hips were pressed on hers, holding her up, and she was trusting him not to let her fall.

That was the part that got to him about this. The intimacy and trust she gave him. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe, and the fact that she trusted that he would, plus the bonus of her warmth and softness against his sensitive fur, excited him to no end.

He moved his hands down to her hips to hold her a bit more firmly to him and help her stay put.

He was getting very warm again. He hadn't been in such a compromising position with Retsuko in while, and he realized he may have just started something. But he felt uncertain as to carry this forward or not due to current living arrangements.

Retsuko looked into his eyes. There was true want there, but also uncertainty. She knew him well, and knew the uncertainty came from privacy reasons. Haida was not one to flaunt out right intimacy like some creatures did. He preferred to keep it quiet and private, as did she.

She was also getting hot; his closeness and scent, along with his height over her and the surprising strength he had made her stomach knot up and her legs shake a little bit. But, due to living circumstances, and the fact that his face and body were still healing, she made the decision for them to stop for now.

"I like this," she whispered to him," and I want you, but I think we'd better hold off before we lose control and embarrass ourselves."

Haida gave a quick nod and let her down. His face was flushed and his heart was racing. Retsuko had always had that effect on him, even long before they had started dating, when they were simply friends and he was just loving her from afar.

Now he wanted her more than ever, like forbidden fruit.

Retsuko straightened her shirt and walked back to her backpack on the dresser and began packing again. Haida settled on the bed to try and calm himself.

"That raincheck is still valid, you know," Retsuko said, still working.

"Oh, believe me, Tsuko, I plan on cashing it in."

Retsuko simply gave him a smile and packed her things.

Part 44: Leaving Home Part 2

As night fell on Haida and Retsuko's stay on the farm one last time, the family gathered in the main room.

It was a little bit solemn because of Haida. The sibling's beloved brother and the parent's son had been gone from them for 9 years, had returned, conqured a problem thanks to his lovely lady friend, and now he was leaving again. The family knew they would see him again but it still didn't make it any less disappointing.

Levon, Ross, Jonathan and Kirk were huddled on the floor in a corner in front of a table going over accounting paperwork for their lumber company, Retsuko and Haida were cuddling on the couch, and Maya and her parents were simply reading together on the other couch and in the recliner.

May closed her book. The family should be spending time together and creating happy memories this final evening instead of doing their own thing. She then decided to make it a happy evening and send her son off in style.

"Levon, could you please go upstairs and get my guitar?"

Everyone looked up sharply at that.

"We didn't even know you played!" the brothers exclaimed in unison, excited.

"Where do you think Haida got it from?" Jean said.

"I've always been embarrassed to play in front of other creatures," she said. "The only one I ever played for was your father. It's in our closet, Levon, dear," she said.

Levon did as his mother asked and ran upstairs, coming back downstairs a few minutes later with a large guitar case.

Settling it on her lap, she opened the latches and the lid. Its hinges creaked as she opened the case, like a grumpy creature that was being made to wake up. Everyone gathered to look inside.

Haida saw a classic acoustic guitar snuggled down into the case, and it was not neglected to say the least. It still had a polished sheen to it and the strings were still in good condition. They looked a little bit loose but that was simply because of the amount of time that had gone by.

He looked at his mother. The expression on his face was the same one he'd had as a cub on his birthdays.

"C-can I hold it?" he asked, unable to help himself.

"Of course, baby," she said lovingly, turning the case to face him. May was so proud of her youngest for following in her musical footsteps."Would you mind tuning it for me?"

"O-of course."

Haida felt honored to hold his mother's guitar.

As he took it out of the case it felt perfectly natural in his hands and he realized he missed his own guitar, since he had left it at home, not anticipating the blizzard.

In the bottom of the case was a guitar repair kit similar to the one Retsuko had given him for their anniversary. Taking it and the guitar, he settled on the couch next to Retsuko and proceeded to tighten the strings and tune it.

When he was finished, he found a pick in the repair kit and strummed the strings a little bit, plucking out a little random tune he made up on the spot. It sounded wonderful. Like a fine wine, the old guitar's music had seemed to become richer over time. He truly wanted to play it himself, but this was his mother's guitar and he wanted to hear her play as well.

Standing and handing the guitar and it's repair case and pick back, he settled back next to Retsuko and watched his mother.

Everyone was quiet in anticipation, waiting to see

what she would play.

"Mama, do you write songs?" Haida asked as she postioned the instrument in her lap.

"Yes I do, dear. Just like you do."

"Can you sing one?"

"Let me think, I haven't done this in a while."

After a moment she took the pick between her fingers and began playing. It was a happy little tune, made for fun. Her voice was strong and lovely.

What color is the sky?

aye me Amor

aye me Amor

You tell me that it's red,

aye me Amor

aye me Amor

Where should I put my shoes?

Aye me Amor

Aye me Amor

You say Put them on your head!

Aye me Amor

Aye me Amor

You make me un poco loco

Un pequit-ti-ti-ti loco

The way you keep my guessing

I'm nodding and I'm yessing

I count this as a blessing

That I'm only un poco loco!

She played a quick little interlude, her fingers flying over the strings as she kept the fun tune going.

The loco that you make me

is just un poco crazy

The sense that you're not making

The liberties you're taking

Leaves my cabeza shaking

You are just un poco loco!

May grinned and stopped playing.

Haida and the rest of her adult children simply sat with their jaws dropped. He had never heard her play before and she was surprisingly good.

"Haida, would you like to play?" she asked.

His face and ears grew red, and he looked down.

He was balking again at playing to a crowd. Just minutes ago he had wanted to play so badly. Why was he balking now? Why had he been able to play at the office party but was balking in front of his own family right now?

He didn't like a lot of attention, that's why. It embarrassed him to no end and by proxy made

him afraid of performing. Even when he had won those contests as a teen he hadn't liked getting in front of the crowds and seeing all those critical eyes on him. With music he'd found something he enjoyed doing privately and merely wanted to prove to everyone that he was good at something.

He felt Retsuko's hand take his and he looked over at her. She understood his fear. He suddenly understood why he was able to do it at the office party. Retsuko was there. He could do it here too, because she was there next to him. She was his rock.

"O-okay, sure."

Haida stood and took the guitar and pick from his mother and settled down with it in his lap. Retsuko moved aside to make room for him to perform.

He thought for a moment as well, and decided to go with a simple song. He began to tap his foot to get the rhythm and then began to sing and play.

(https/youtu.be/z5rQ955SiFI)

Its been a long time

A little like wine

Not something I thought I'd come back to again

I turned back the clocks

When I opened up the box

A part of me hidden away like a gem

I guess I'll have another round

So let's hang up all the pictures

Even the ones we threw away

Things will never be the same

After the day that you find

Its been a long time

He played the interlude, a slow, simple, thoughtful tune.

It's been a long time

And still it's benign

The sharpest parts hurt slightly less than before

Without being numb

To the way the colors run

Its good to know nothing got left on the shore

Don't have to go to sea and drown

So let's hang up all the pictures

Even the ones we threw away

Things will never be the same

Until the day that you find

Its been a long time

It's been a long time

It's been a long time

It's been a long time.

Haida finished his song and even Retsuko was looking at him in amazement. That had been one of his deeper songs.

"Dang, bro, was something bothering you when you wrote that?" Jonathan joked. "That was deep."

"It's actually just a song about cubhood and growing up," Haida said. "Like a part of you gets put away when you become an adult. The box represents nostalgia. The sharpest parts' represent the things that would normally have hurt us as cubs don't bother us as much when we're adults."

Everyone nodded, now understanding. Retsuko studied his face as she looked at him once more, seeing yet another side to him. He really was like a well-polished gem inside; every time he was turned a certain way and looked at from a certain angle by life she saw yet another unexpected facet of his personality and character. There really were parts of him hidden away like a gem, just like the song.

Haida looked down at her and gave an uncertain half smile, then handed the guitar back to his mother. "Your turn, Mama."

The rest of the evening consisted of Haida and May trading the guitar back and forth, playing, singing, and everyone talking together. It was exactly what May had wanted.

Gradually the evening waned into nightfall and the family began slowly drifting away to bed, Retsuko and Haida being no exception.

As Retsuko climbed the stairs to their room, Haida came up close behind her and she could sense he was wanting. He had been for a while now but was keeping a distance on that front, not only out of respect for her, but out of respect for his parent's household. She was wanting as well but she had to be responsible and not let things get out of hand.

As they entered the bedroom, Haida pushed the door closed and came up behind her as she began changing into her nightgown and gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders in an embrace. She hugged his arms back and turned her head to look at him and he kissed her deeply. She almost fell for him but she remembered where they were and was quick to remind him of that.

Haida was shaking again but he let go and stepped back.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said, "but I haven't touched you in a month and frankly, it's killing me."

"I'm sorry, dear. We...we'll have some alone time when we get home."

Haida laid down on the bed and turned on his side to watch her finish changing.

"Where is home?" he asked.

Retsuko paused and realized what she had just said. Where was home? She considered. It would be easier just to move somewhere familiar.

Haida scootched back against the wall in his usual position and she climbed in next to him and snuggled into her usual place against his chest and looked at him.

"Home..." she said, thinking, "I guess is my place...it's...it's bigger and established with us and the rent is a little cheaper. You could move in when we get back if you like."

"Done, sweetheart. My lease is up in about 3 weeks anyway."

He rested his head on the top of hers on the pillows and held her close. Her scent was driving him crazy but he had enough self control and was enough of a gentleman to know to wait.

He was shaking a little bit not only out of want but nerves over the sudden official decision of where home was.

Part 45: Leaving

The next day brought Haida and Retsuko's leaving day. The brothers had dug out the yard to allow the car to reach the road, which was snow free thanks to the temperature-absorbing pavement.

As Haida and Retsuko stood by the door in their coats and holding their luggage, the whole family gathered to say their goodbyes.

May was crying and Haida was trying to comfort her.

"Mama, I'm coming back in spring! I'm not staying away anymore! Don't worry!"

May gave her son a hug and stepped back into Jean's embrace, nodding. Haida shook his father's hand.

"Be careful, boy, and don't be a stranger. Miss Retsuko, you take care of my son, now."

Levon, Ross, and Jonathan each shook Haida's hand and offered goodbyes and words of encouragement. Maya came forward and gave Haida a gentle hug and Retsuko a small package.

"Don't open it til you get home, missy. Its a thank you present for your help with Haida and Kirk."

The brother in question was standing a little bit away, uncertain as to whether or not to come forward, as he was still ashamed and full of messed up emotions.

Retsuko saw this and gave Haida a pat on the arm and stepped away for a moment.

"Kirk?"

Haida's older brother was now standing in front of the mantle, looking at the old pictures. He held the picture of Cassie in his hands and was staring at a picture of Haida as a baby.

"I want so bad to make everything okay with Haida," Kirk said. "But I'm ashamed of the way I treated him. He wasn't to blame at all for her."

Kirk put the photo of Cassie on the mantle next to Haida's picture.

"I really hope we can mend our fences."

Retsuko looked up at Kirk and she saw the pain on his face. It was more contained this time but it was definitely still there.

"Kirk, Haida really loves you. You're his brother and short of murder there's nothing you can do to sour yourself with him. He's too sweet a creature for that. I think he's mainly afraid of you not being willing to work with him. He will totally come around if you will. The ball is in your court now."

"I know..."

"Coming and saying goodbye is a start, Kirk. Come talk to your brother."

Kirk sighed and followed the Red panda to the front door where Haida still stood and extended his hand. He didn't look up to meet Haida's eyes.

"Brother," he said. "Good luck with everything. I love you and I hope we can talk more over time, if you're willing."

Haida slowly reached and took his brother's extended hand, shaking it twice and then releasing it.

"I am," he said.

Kirk turned to Retsuko and looked down at her, placing his hands on her shoulders. Haida instinctually moved forward and placed one of his own on Kirk's shoulder as a warning.

Retsuko patted Haida's arm reassuringly and looked up at Kirk.

"Listen to me, Miss Retsuko. This hyena right here loves you so much." He gestured at Haida. "You two should always love each other and take care of each other to the bitter end, because you never know when that is going to happen. Always, always, always, make the best of it."

Retsuko nodded, taking the advice to heart. Her eyes were feeling full and she dabbed at them with her gloves.

"Thank you Kirk," they both said.

It was time to go.

Part 46: Coming Home Again

The drive back to the city was a quiet one. The couple realized they were both tired from the family drama and simply wanted to go back to Retsuko's place and relax. They had a few days before they had to go back to work officially so they would be able to deflate and get back into the mindset of city life again.

Retsuko glanced over at Haida as he drove. His face was healing well except for a light bruising around his eye socket and his ear still not being willing to stand up. He would definitely have to see a doctor about that. He could feel it with no problem- it simply wouldn't move.

They had both agreed that if anyone asked, that he had simply fallen down some icy stairs and hurt himself.

When they got into the city limits Haida dropped Retsuko off at her place and went to check on his apartment before he came back. Since he was moving in with her he had decided to keep the car a few days longer so he could bring his things over.

But not today. Today was just a day to relax.

As Retsuko let herself into her-no, THEIR apartment now-she breathed a small sigh of both relief and resignation. It felt good to be home but at the same time she knew that within a few days she and Haida would be putting their noses back to the figurative grindstone with Director Ton sitting on their backs.

She needed a shower and a nap.

Leaving her backpack and coat in the bedroom, she stripped off and got in the shower and began to soap up. The lavender shampoo she always used to help calm her after a hard work day was doing its job very well.

The scent and the warmth of the shower was making her sleepy and making her realize how tired she really was. She hadn't realized how stressful being in a big family was. She gave a mental kudos to Haida for being able to do it for all his life.

Finishing up, she got out and towled off until her fur was just slightly damp. She didn't bother blowing it out this time. Doing that took a long time since her fur was so thick, she was tired, she was home and it could air dry easily.

Going to her dresser, she observed that all her clean shirts were in the laundry and she only had one pair of jeans left. The solution to the problem was found in her closet. Taking one of Haida's shirts from its hanger, she smelled it. Despite the fact that it had been washed, it still carried the faint scent of hay.

Retsuko smiled to herself and put it on over her head. It was quite large on her and it took her a moment to find the holes for the sleeves to put her arms through. When she had it fully on it was so long on her it reached just past her knees and the short sleeves may have well been long sleeves on her.

Climbing into bed, the familiar feel and scent of the pillows and blankets called her to sleep. Before she did, though, she sent Haida a text message:

-Going to take a nap

-Can't keep my eyes open anymore

-Let yourself in and join me if you want when you get back

The small bubbles at the top of the phone screen bounced up and down, showing he was typing something back.

-Ok sweetheart

-I'll be back soon

-Bringing my guitar

-Enjoy my shirt

Retsuko's eyes grew big for a moment at the message but then she laughed a little bit, realizing how well Haida knew her. He knew it would take time for her laundry to get caught up so he figured she would automatically go for one of his shirts as she had done numerous times before.

Turning up the volume on her phone, she plugged it in, laid it on her nightstand, and passed out in the bed.

Part 47: Cold and Warm

Haida shivered in his coat as he made his way up the fire escape to his apartment window. He just wanted to check on everything and grab his guitar before he headed back home.

Home.

The idea of now calling Retsuko's place home would take some getting used to. He'd been alone for so long the idea of making and keeping a home with someone he loved on his own volition was foreign to him. This would be a new experience for both of them, and he prayed to Whoever Was In Charge that it would work out well. There was the very real possibility it wouldn't. He wasn't being pessimistic, he was simply being realistic.

Climbing in the window, he settled his feet in the floor and stood, looking around. He walked over and flipped the overhead light on.

A small spider ran under the bed.

Haida went over and grabbed his guitar case out from under the bed and packed his smallbody away into it, along with the repair kit and the case of custom picks. Before he closed everything up he made sure and checked the picks to ensure the pink one he liked was still there. It was.

Putting the case across his back for easy carriage, he looked around the room again and realized how cold it was. Not the temperature. The building itself was heated via a boiler in the basement. The room was just...cold.

It no longer invited him in and it was almost unfamiliar. The overhead light was too bright and cast a harsh glare on the blue-grey walls which only added to the coldness of the room. His only companion here was the spider under the bed.

He realized this place had never really been home.

He had thought it was, that it had really fit his style as a loner, but since he had gotten with Retsuko, he had changed and found parts of himself he had not realized existed thanks to her. It was time to move on.

Shrugging the guitar case up on his back more securely, he locked the window, turned the light off, and left the apartment, locking the door behind him. He would be back in the morning for the rest of his things.

He went home.

Retsuko halfway awoke to hear the door to their apartment open and close, and to hear Haida calling her quietly.

"Tsuko?"

She heard him come to the bedroom door and stop, probably checking on her, then she heard him move down the short hallway to the bathroom, where she heard the shower start. She drifted off

again to the sound.

She came to again as she heard Haida enter the room and get dressed again, and she felt the bed shift as he got in beside her.

She moved toward him and cuddled up, and he shifted to his side and wrapped his arm around her protectively. This was their place, by each other's sides, both protecting, both giving.

She soon heard the sounds of his gentle snores and drifted away again.

Part 48: Love

When Retsuko awoke again it was nightfall and the apartment was dark. As she rolled over to reach for her phone on the nightstand to check the time, she felt Haida's arm tighten around her waist, keeping her in place. She reached again and managed to reach her phone this time, making Haida break his grip a little bit.

1:30 in the morning. They was really must have been tired to have slept for so long.

"Tsuko, you okay?" Haida mumbled, waking up.

"I'm fine dear. Just checking the time. Go back to sleep."

Haida moved closer to her.

"Too late. I'm already awake now."

She turned over and moved close to him again, reaching up and stroking his ears and head as they talked.

"So you plan on getting your things tomorrow and bringing them here?"

"Yep," he said, bending his head a little bit in her direction. The sensation of his ears being rubbed felt so incredibly good.

"What about your bed?"

"I guess I'll put that in storage until whenever." He closed his eyes and let her work on his ears some more. She was paying particular attention to his right ear.

"Have to find you a doctor for this starting tomorrow," she said. "I sure hope there's no everlasting damage."

"Tsuko, I honestly think Kirk pulled his punches. He could have easily broken my jaw."

"All the more reason," she said, "to let him back into your circle again. If he did that then it's obvious he didn't want to hurt you worse than he already was."

She continued rubbing his ears and stroking his head. It felt good to the point of almost feeling medicinal and healing.

Haida looked at her as he felt her hands on him and realized once again how much he loved her. He pulled her closer to him and closed his eyes.

He loved her intelligence, he loved her patience and kindness, he even loved her temper. He loved her affinity for hard rock and death metal music, and her sense of independence. He saw her light and loved her dark, and he wanted to keep her with him forever.

Her scent was intoxicating and the wonderful way her hands felt was almost unbearable. He began to breathe a little harder and his heart rate went up.

Retsuko saw him close his eyes and knew he was trying to be good. But she could feel the heat beginning to come from him and it was fast transmitting to her. It was like they were of the same mind and his feelings were coming to her in waves.

She felt him begin to breathe quickly and felt his heartbeat go up. She knew of his want and quickly became aware of her own.

She moved her hands down to his chest and moved one of her legs over his, pressing her hips to his.

Haida's eyes opened and he slowly cupped her face and kissed her, unable to hold back any longer.

She kissed him back, deeply, over and over again, and he reciprocated without question. The kiss became deeper and hungrier until they both had to break away for breath. Their mouths were tingling and their faces were flushed and they quickly came back together again and again.

"I'm wanting, Tsuko...please...I need you..." he whispered.

"Shh, shh, shh...I'll take of you," she whispered back to him, brushing her lips across his.

She gently ran her hands up under his shirt, touching his soft chest and teasing at his sensitive back and sides.

Just the single act of her touch was making Haida begin to tremble all over. The energy of his want was spreading all over him, and his body and mind waited like an overcharged battery, ready to explode. He embraced her even harder, one arm across the small of her back and the other around her shoulders, kissing and smelling her neck and shoulders, reveling in her earthy scent.

Retsuko took charge this time. She sat up and gave him a gentle push onto his back and climbed on top of him, pressing her hips to his and moving gently for him, squeezing with her thighs at the same time.

Haida gasped and held tight to her waist, instinctually moving for her as well. She stopped and leaned down to kiss him.

"We have to take care of you," she whispered. "Don't want you hurting yourself again...you're still sore from all that..."

She kissed his chest and neck, smiled, and spoke again.

"I'll be taking care of you this time..."

She removed her shirt and tossed it to the side, revealing the white-gold of her chest and stomach that her lover so adored. She leaned down and gently rubbed her hands along Haida's sides through his shirt, causing him to gasp and spasm beneath her. The grip he had on her waist and hips tightened and he brought his hips up to hers. The sense of control she felt over him tonight was intoxicating. She loved him, and tonight he was hers.

Haida wasn't going to be taken advantage of so easily. Bucking her forward a little, he sat up and pulled her to him again, kissing her deeply and running his hands from her shoulders down to her thighs and back again.

The feel of his large hands on her body always excited her and it made her melt, and he knew it. But she knew in order to tame her lover tonight she had to maintain control over herself. She knew he was trying to get her to submit to his own wiles, but she wasn't going to let that happen. This was a game and she planned to win.

She ran her hands under his shirt and touched his back, running her fingers through his fur, concentrating on the most sensitive patches. She had loved him so many times she knew his body like a map, and knew what parts of the terrain to use to her advantage.

Haida arched his shoulders away from her and tossed his head back, gasping and moaning. He let go of her for a moment and Retsuko saw her chance. Kissing him deeply, she pulled his shirt off over his head as he raised his hands to cup her face and gently pushed him back down onto his back once more.

"Tut, tut..." she tisked to him. "You need to let your muscles heal. I'll be taking care of you tonight."

By now Haida was trembling beneath her, a mess of sweat and stored energy. His whole body was revving up, and it was killing him to not be able to release it right away. As a release he brought his hips up to her again, holding her to him.

"Please..." he moaned.

Retsuko decided that enough was enough, that he had been tamed and took pleasure in the thought that he was actually pleading. It was quite flattering to her. Looking at him, it amazed her that someone like him could possibly be interested in someone like her.

Kissing his chest, she broke his grip and left a trail of kisses down his abdomen until she reached his navel. Sliding off the end of the bed, she tried pulling his sleep pants off. Haida rose and slid off as well, removing his garments and sweeping Retsuko up in his arms, to her great surprise. She was also surprised to find her own garments were missing suddenly as well.

Haida moved her so her legs were resting on his hips and she realized what was about to happen. She gasped loudly as he carried her over and pinned her between himself and the bedroom wall again, just as before. He held her by her hips and bottom, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist to keep from falling.

"I'm just fine, miss panda," he whispered in her ear. His breath was warm against her cheek and neck and the new position excited them both.

"You can't escape..." he said, chuckling a little and looking her eyes. He pressed his forehead to hers and moved his hips, and the moment came.

The position they were in brought them both new sensations, making both gasp and moan a little bit. He moved for her, and she had no choice but to hang onto him and submit. He had won, and her prize was pleasure.

He moved again, harder this time, and she braced herself against the wall and pushed back into him, wrapping her legs around him tightly. There would be no escape for him either.

They moved in rhythm. Retsuko held tightly to him, one arm around his neck and the other clutching the fur on the back of his head, kissing him and burying her face in the nook between his shoulder and his neck, calling him and crying out. The sensations she felt were like nothing she had experienced, the world was spinning and she couldn't concentrate on anything but them.

Haida was moaning deeply as he moved. His lover's body had resisted at first, but as he held her she had turned to jelly and allowed him to win their game. Moving even closer to her, he changed his position slightly and began to use his hips only to hold her up, letting her own rest on his and allowing gravity to help him. He gave a groan at the new feeling the change allowed and pressed the side of his face to hers.

She gasped and held tighter to him, moaning at the change but still keeping her rhythm with his. He pressed his forehead to hers again and stared into her eyes once more as he braced his upper arms against the wall above her head.

"Haida...I...Oh god..." she moaned. She kissed him hard and pushed herself to him again, he reciprocating.

"Tsuko...I...love...you..." he gritted his teeth as he felt his moment beginning and tried to hang onto it as long as possible.

They were both sweating and exhausted but both were reluctant to leave the heaven they were in. Retsuko's moment was beginning but she couldn't hold on to it as well as Haida could.

"Haida..."

She pressed her head back against the wall and arched her upper body away from him.

"I..can't...nnnnggg..."

Her teeth were gritted as well and her grip on him tightened harder, causing Haida to gasp in pleasure as she pulled his sensitive fur.

"I'm...here..." Haida panted. "I've got you..." He pushed more, harder and faster.

Retsuko couldn't hold onto it any more. As her love pushed hard, she buried her face in Haida's neck and called out his name as loudly as she could. Her whole body convulsed and she clung to him hard, her hands clenched into the fur of his ruff and the back of his head.

Haida's body followed its lover's lead, his arms wrapping around her tightly and holding her closely as he too cried out and continued pushing for a few more seconds.

They both clung to each other, each a rock for the other as the storm of emotion and want passed.

His energy spent, Haida leaned his head against the wall for a moment, breathing hard and shaking, still holding Retsuko close. He gazed at her and she looked at him, still in his arms and also breathing hard and still shaking a little bit from the moment they had just shared. She kissed him gently.

He then realized he literally couldn't hold himself up anymore. His energy was totally spent and he sank to the floor, still holding Retsuko to his chest.

Once they were there he simply laid down and Retsuko curled up next to him in his arms. They remained there for several minutes, calming down and getting some strength back.

Retsuko looked over at him.

"Are you okay? Are you hurting anywhere?"

"No sweetheart...I feel fine."

The sweat on their bodies was cooling off and Retsuko began to shiver a little bit. She cuddled up to him again, trying to get warm. She was also getting sleepy again.

"Why don't we clean up and get back to bed?" she mumbled into his chest.

Haida found himself getting sleepy as well, and despite his exhaustion he picked Retsuko up again and carried her to the bathroom for a shared warm shower and soon, rest for both.

Part 49: Moving on Up

The next day was a busy one. The couple went back to Haida's old apartment and collected his things, which was easy work since he didn't have that much to move. It took one trip to move everything.

Electronics came first; Haida's t.v, the game system, the laptop and his guitar amplifier went in the back seat of the car. His collapsed pop-up closet, the rest of his clothes, his bedsheets and pillows went in a garbage bag and went in the trunk to help cushion the boxes of dishes, silverware and bathroom stuff that Retsuko had helped pack. His framed posters also went in the back, to be hung around the abode they now shared.

The hardest part was the bed. After some deliberation and rather creative but ridiculous thinking they mutually decided the best thing to do was hire someone to move the bed out and place it in a storage container for them, since Retsuko was too small to lift properly and the bed too bulky for Haida to handle by himself.

"How did you get it in here in the first place?" Retsuko asked as they took it apart.

"Ross helped me. He's teased me about getting soft ever since."

"He really loves you, dear."

"I know."

The rest of the day encompassed getting everything situated in the apartment. Since Retsuko already had a television in the living room, they simply hooked the game system up there. Haida's television was put in the bedroom, along with his laptop, guitar, and amplifier. His bedsheets and pillows would be used as spares, and his pop up closet would remain collapsed and stored in the real bedroom closet. The silverware and dishes could always be used and were stored away in the cabinets and drawers.

As Haida put away some of his socks in the dresser, he looked over and happened to notice a small notebook he hadn't seen before. It was laying flat on one of the bookshelves and didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. But it puzzled him because he had been at Retsuko's apartment many many times before this, and had learned to recognize what was on her shelves, and this was not one of the things that belonged.

Hmm.

He decided that he wouldn't look. It would be a violation of Retsuko's trust. But he did decide to put it back up neatly where the books were kept. As he picked it up to put it away properly he noticed something trying to fall out and automatically grabbed it. He couldn't help but look at what he held.

It was a very old picture, a photo that, judging by Haida's calculations of the quality, was at least 20 years old. It was a little faded and had a few creases on the corners, as if it had been much loved over the years.

It showed a picture of two red pandas, a handsome male and a lovely female, standing in front of a brick house, smiling and holding each other close. Haida studied their faces. They both looked vaguely familiar, especially the male. He had seen that face somewhere before, but for the life of him he couldn't place him.

"Haida?" Retsuko called from the living room.

"I'm in here, hang on."

Hurriedly, he stuck the photo back between the pages of the notebook, still not looking, put it away properly, and headed back out to Retsuko.

That evening the couple decided to spend the night in and rest up for work in the morning. The couch was comfortable and Haida had stretched out and put his head in Retsuko's lap, where she sat and absentmindedly stroked his face as she watched the news.

The hyena was quietly dozing to her touch and the sound of the television, not really paying attention.

The leopard newscaster was covering the day's events, which neither of the couple had been following because of their day.

"...In other news around the City, the creature found nearly dead in a snowbank in Northern District due to heart failure this morning has been identified as a Mr. Mihatsu Ton..."

Retsuko accidentally squeezed one of Haida's ears hard in surprise, causing him to give a small yelp and fall off the couch. Still on his knees in the floor next to her and rubbing his ear, he looked at her in great surprise.

"Ow! Geez, Tsuko, what was that for?!"

She apologised quickly, shushed him and gestured at the news.

"...a resident of the Northern District and director of accounting at one of the main companies in the City."

Haida's jaw dropped and he turned to her once more, eyes wide.

"Were they talking about Ton?!" he said quickly.

"Shhh!"

Haida looked back at the television.

"...He is currently at the Northern District Hospital in critical condition. Now for sports with..."

Retsuko picked up the remote and turned the t.v. off, still staring ahead in surprise.

The pair then simply looked at each other, at a loss for words.

Retsuko jumped as her phone rang. It was Fenneko.

She picked up and put it on speaker mode so Haida could hear and talk as well.

"Hello?"

"ARE YOU GUYS WATCHING THE NEWS?!"

Retsuko laid the phone down on the coffee table in front of them.

"Yes, Fenneko, we just got done," Haida said.

"You saw that about Ton?" Fenneko said, lowering her voice back to her normal, semi dead-pan way of speaking.

"Yep," Haida said.

"I wonder what happens now?" Retsuko said.

"I suppose we just go in tomorrow like normal and let the higher-ups figure it out," Fenneko said.

Haida thought for a moment.

"What if he can't come back to work?"

"Then we get a new boss," Retsuko said.

Haida looked worried at her and then spoke to both of them.

"I know we all say we want a new boss but I think that's actually a scary thing. At least we know how Ton is since we've been working with him for so long. A new boss can make major changes, fire creatures and be generally hell on wheels. I don't like Ton but I'd rather deal with him than someone I don't know."

"True," said Fenneko.

"That's right," Retsuko said. She hadn't thought of that. The only boss she had worked under for the last 5 years was Ton, and she had never once considered he could be replaced. To her Ton was like that car alarm that some neighbors have that goes off early every morning; always there and very irritating but one eventually gets used to it.

"Do you guys think they'll hire from inside or out?" Fenneko's voice had the smallest hint of happiness.

"Fenneko, we don't even know if he's going to survive!" Retsuko said.

"Okay, you're right." Retsuko almost detected a hint of a pout in her friend's voice.

"Alright," Haida said, "let's just go in like normal like you said and see what happens. They might even send us home."

"Yeah, fat chance of that, H. I'm turning in. See you guys tomorrow."

"Night."

"Goodnight, Fenneko."

They hung up.

Haida turned to her, smiling a little bit to lighten things up.

"Hey, Tsuko, what if they decide to hire you?" Haida teased.

"Nuh uh, darlin, don't even go there."

Part 50: Experience

When Haida and Retsuko arrived for work the next morning everyone was talking about Ton in the news the previous night. Everyone had figured it would it would happen but no one had expected when.

Retsuko and Haida both knew that, like with schoolcubs, there would be no work getting done today without a head to tell everyone what to do. They decided to carry on as usual despite the chaos.

Fenneko was seated at her desk, thumbing through her phone, once again. Retsuko walked behind her to get to her own desk, greeting her as she sat down. Fenneko glanced up and turned her phone screen off, but not before Retsuko noticed it was set to a picture of Manumaru.

"Hey, Retsuko. Good morning." she seemed tired, like she hadn't slept well. There were bags under her eyes and she had the look of someone who could easily go take a nap with no problem.

"Is everything okay? You look rough." Retsuko said.

Fenneko yawned and leaned her elbows on her desk, holding her head up.

"I just had a really rough night. Couldn't sleep for some reason."

Retsuko had a suspicion about what "some reason" was but kept quiet about it.

"How was the holiday?" Fenneko sighed, still holding her head up.

"It went well, Haida's family is great. His mother plays guitar and his father is HUMONGOUS. He has 4 brothers and a sister, all of whom are bigger than he is."

As Retsuko talked, Fenneko watched Haida walk in and settle at his desk, looking both resigned to his fate and interested at the goings-on today at the same time. His right ear was still droopy and he still had a tiny bit of bruising around his eye.

"Geeze, what happened to your boyfriend? Did he get hit by truck?"

Retsuko kind of nodded.

"You might could say that."

"What happened?"

Retsuko paused, trying to decide whether or not to tell Fenneko the truth. She knew Fenneko could keep a secret easily, so she felt she could tell her what happened, but at the same time Haida was embarrassed about his family drama and the fact that he'd had the living snot beaten out of him by his older brother.

"Haida's...really embarrassed to talk about it. You might want to ask him later."

"He did something stupid. Gotcha."

9:00. Time to get started.

The atmosphere in the department was much more relaxed without Ton's pressure and there was little work getting done. Tsonda initiated a paper ball fight between herself and Kabae, Tsbone and Komiya were standing behind Ton's desk arguing over who should be in charge, and everyone was talking with each other.

Retsuko got a message on her computer.

-IT SEEMS LIKE ME, YOU AND FENNEKO ARE THE ONLY ONES DOING ANYTHING.

She glanced over at Haida and he nodded and rolled his eyes.

She typed back.

-FENNEKO JUST BARELY. SHE HAD A REALLY ROUGH NIGHT APPARENTLY.

-SHE LOOKS IT. DON'T TELL HER I SAID THAT.

Retsuko typed once again.

-I WONT. I'M ABOUT TO STAND UP AND START REMINDING EVERYONE ABOUT THEIR JOBS AND HOW WE COULD GET IN TROUBLE IF OUR PRODUCTIVITY GOES DOWN.

-SPOKEN LIKE THE RESPONSIBLE PANDA I'VE KNOWN FOR YEARS.

The paper ball went off course and bonked her on the head. She heard a snicker come from Haida's direction and looked over. He had his head down and was concentrating on his work now.

-THATS IT.

-GO FOR IT, OH RESPONSIBLE ONE.

Retsuko stood and slapped a thick file down on her desk to get everyone's attention.

"WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, EVERYONE. I KNOW I'M BEING A STICK IN THE MUD, BUT COULD WE PLEASE DO SOME ACTUAL WORK TODAY?"

She lowered her voice as silence fell and everyone listened.

"We could all get in major trouble if we goof off too much. That could mean our jobs if they decide to replace Ton. I'm not saying we need to totally buckle down but we could at least give some semblance of doing what we were hired to do."

She sat back down and got back to her figures.

Slightly chastised, everyone settled down and got to actual work. There was still a little more talking than usual but that was it.

"Excuse me, Miss Retsuko?"

She looked up to see Ookami, the office's resident fox, standing before her desk and holding a thick file.

"I've finished these up but normally Ton would sign off on them. Do you have any idea what I should do?"

"Uh, just put them on his desk and I guess Tsubone should sign off on them. She's the superior in this situation."

"Thank you."

As the day progressed, the number of files on Ton's desk increased due to Ookami letting everyone know what to do with their paperwork, and Tsubone not signing off on anything.

Retsuko found herself being asked extra questions by various fellow employees throughout the afternoon, pertaining to what to do, where to go, where to put things, etc. She had worked there for so long she kind of naturally knew what to tell everyone.

Normally Ton would tell everyone what to do and where to go, hence his title as Director.

A message popped up on her screen again.

-LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE FOUND SOMEONE TO TURN TO.

She messaged back.

-JUST TRYING TO HELP OUT AND SAVE OUR JOBS.

-YOU'RE DOING WELL, PANDA. I'M PROUD OF YOU.

-THANKS.

When 5:00 came around everyone was clamoring to go home, as usual. Retsuko looked at the huge pile of paperwork on Ton's desk and sighed. It didn't look like Tsubone had done her job. She was always so lazy about things. That was one thing no one in the office liked about her.

Haida walked up behind her, his work jacket over his shoulder.

"Ready to go?"

"Yes. I hate leaving all that paperwork for Ton. He might not be back anytime soon."

"You're too sweet, you know that?" He gently patted her on the back. "I know what you're saying, but, it's neither our place here nor our responsibility to take care of that stuff."

"I know..."

She stood and as they walked out together, she had a thought.

"Maybe we should go see him at the hospital? See when he's going to be back and maybe he can give me some pointers about what to do while he's gone, so I can tell everyone."

Haida stopped and stared down at her, brows raised in surprise.

"I thought you hated him."

"I do, but we've developed a...grudging respect...I guess is the word, for each other. I don't think he thinks much of me either, but I can at least relay the information he gives me to the other co-workers."

"If he's in any condition to talk at all."

"All the more reason to go investigate so we have a bead on what to do."

Haida shrugged.

"Okay, Tsuko, if that's what you want to do. I don't think it'll work though."

Retsuko took his hand.

"Thank you, dear. Visiting hours should still be open for about 3 more hours. If we take the bus to Northern District we can be there in half an hour."

"What, NOW?" Haida balked.

"Yes, now, we have work tomorrow. Plus we can finally get your ear looked at while we're there."

Part 51: Hospital

The bus ride up to Northern District was a quiet one. Retsuko sat by the window, looking at the barren trees that lined the streets pass by as the bus snored along. Haida sat next to her, killing the time playing a game on his phone and texting back and forth with Fenneko.

A thought occurred to the red panda.

"Haida, you don't mind coming with me, do you?"

He tucked his phone away into the pocket of his leather jacket, and sighed.

"Actually I do, but a good boyfriend stays with his mate. And you were right, I need to get my ear looked at."

"I'm really sorry for dragging you along, then. It occurred to me about the accident you were in and how you might not like hospitals. Forgive me for being impetuous."

He leaned over and pulled her to him so she was leaning against him and kept his arm around her.

"It's alright. That's what hospitals are for. I don't like them but they are necessary, like laundry mats and funeral homes."

"Thank you for coming with me, Haida."

"No problem sweetheart."

The bus let them off at the big hospital parking lot, and it took them quite a while to find the regular entrance, finally having to catch a parking lot security guard and beg for help. The Doberman led the pair around the building and through a large sliding glass door which housed a main waiting room filled with seats, and like a heavenly beacon, the Information Desk.

"You owe me, Tsuko," Haida joked as they walked up.

Retsuko did the talking to the white bulldog nurse behind the counter.

"Excuse me, ma'am, sorry to bother you, but we have a couple of issues and we were hoping you could help us, please?"

The nurse smiled and put down the chart she was going over.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Well, first off we are here to see a friend of ours who had a heart attack. Do you know of a Mr. Mihatsu Ton?"

The nurse typed something into the computer on the desk next to her.

"Species?"

"Uh, pig."

The nurse nodded.

"It appears as though your friend is still in the ICU unit. They MIGHT let you see him. I'm not sure how things work up there, though. I'm just a lonely receptionist nurse. He's in room 409, hall B. There's a nurse's station up there if you have any questions."

Retsuko started to mention Haida's ear but the nurse got there first.

"And I'm willing to bet your husband needs his ear looked at. I'll call someone to take him to the back to look at it."

"Oh, he's not my..." Retsuko stopped herself and looked up at Haida, who was also rather flustered at that statement. His ears were red.

The nurse called someone on the phone, and asked them to please be seated while they waited for the doctor.

"I suppose I'll go talk to Ton while you have your ear looked at. We'll coordinate via text depending on who is where when we get done."

"Sounds like a plan."

About 15 minutes later a raccoon doctor came out of one of the side doors and introduced herself as Dr. Quill.

"Will your wife be joining us, sir?"

"Oh, she's not...my..." Haida stopped, looking at her. It was like some part of his brain locked up when he saw her in that light. But in a good way.

Retsuko gave his hand a squeeze.

"I'm going up to see Ton, you get your ear worked on, We'll coordinate."

Haida left with the doctor and Retsuko went to check on her mortal enemy.

Elevator. 4th floor. Room 9 on hall B. She went over the numbers in her mind repeatedly. She had been in a hospital before and knew how easy it was to get lost in their laberythine halls.

She didn't like the smell of hospitals. The scent of linens and antiseptic brought back some bad memories that she had chosen to ignore over the years. She pushed them back under the figurative bed of her mind and looked up at the numbers on the hallway signs as she walked.

Finally, after seeming to have traveled miles up and down various hallways, she found the ICU, and went to the nurse's station to see if they could let her in.

She addressed the white cat nurse who was sitting at the counter charting.

"Hi there, I was wondering if I could see Mr. Mihatsu Ton? I'm a friend of his from work."

"Let me check with his doctor and nurse and see what condition he's in. What was your name, sweetie?"

"Retsuko. I'm a red panda."

She wrote something down on a sticker and handed it to her.

"That's a visitor sticker. Keep it stuck to your shirt at all times while you're back there or they WILL kick you out."

The nurse got on the phone and dialed a short number. After a short wait she began corferring with someone on the other end and pulled a couple of charts from the shelf behind her, efficiently multitasking.

She hung up and walked out of the station, motioning for Retsuko to follow her. The nurse matter of factly explained to her as they walked the rules of ICU. Voices must be kept low to reduce stress, friends are only allowed 15 minutes, family half an hour. Do not touch any machines or instruments in the room. All phones must be turned off or put in airplane mode, lest they mess with the machines in the patient's rooms.

The nurse led her down a hallway to a huge heavy set of double doors and typed in a code to let them in. She made sure Retsuko turned her phone to airplane mode before they went another step.

Down the hall. Room 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and finally 9.

The nurse walked in first and Retsuko could hear her speaking to the beast within.

"Mr. Ton, you have a visitor."

She heard that old deep familiar voice, full of grouchiness and irritation.

"Who is it?"

"A female named Retsuko, a red panda. She says she's a friend of yours."

"Huh. Short-Timer. Hardly a friend. Let her in."

The cat nurse came out and held an arm out into the room to say she could go in.

"I'll be back in 15 minutes, ma'am."

She left, leaving Retsuko alone in the lair of her enemy.

The room was semi dark aside from a light above the hospital bed. The huge pig was on his back looking at her, and he had tubes going in and out of him in every direction, even his nose. He had a machine by his bed that made a steady, low, beeping noise and had green lines going across a screen that was attached to it. An i.v. bag was on the other side of it, with another tube from it going into his arm.

"What'd you want, Short-Timer? Come to laugh at me? See your Shitty boss brought down low?"

"No sir. I actually came because I actually wanted to check in on you and see how you were doing."

"Cut the crap, Short-Timer. Nobody cares. You're just here to see when or if I'll be back."

Retsuko restrained herself. She was already sensing that little grain of rage forming in her head, and she hadn't even been here 5 minutes.

"That is something we were wondering about at the office."

Ton snorted, then coughed a little bit.

"I bet Tsubone isn't doing jack, is she?"

Retsuko sat down in the chair next to his bed.

"Actually...no, sir. The work that you would normally sign off on is piling up on your desk. I understood that Tsubone was supposed to sign off on them, so I recommended everyone put them there."

"Good thinking, Short-Timer."

Retsuko really wished he'd quit calling her that.

Ton's voice actually got a hair quieter, as if he were thinking.

"Truth is, I don't think I'm going to be able to come back."

Retsuko looked at the floor. There it was, right there.

"My heart's too weak. Can't take the stress anymore," he resigned.

"So what do I tell everyone at work?" Retsuko asked.

Ton just looked her for a moment.

"Short-Timer, did you ever stop and think why I was so hard on you?"

"Because you're an asshole?" She thought to herself.

"Don't get me wrong, Short-Timer. I don't like you. I hate females like you. But as you worked for me, I noticed how hard you did work. You put up with tons of crap from everybody and didn't say a word."

He coughed again; the effort of speaking was making his lungs tired.

"I saw somethin' in you, Short-Timer. I wanted to see if you could take the stress of workin' at that place. I knew this would happen to me eventually, and I wanted to hire someone from the department so everything didn't go to hell in a handbasket with a new boss from outside."

Retsuko didn't like where this was going. She sat quietly, listening.

"The fact that you came up here to talk to me proves what I thought. You might hate working there, but you don't want anything bad to happen to the creatures working with you. The accounting department is very important. We're the nerve center of the company. Creatures can lose their jobs if things go wrong in accounting. They have families and lives and the whole company could suffer, causing more problems for everyone as a whole. It has to be run as a tight ship."

Retsuko nodded in agreement.

"That's why I want you to take over for me."

Part 52: Hospital Part 2

Retsuko sat for a moment just staring at her boss, mouth open and silent.

"I-I-I'm sorry, I'm afraid I misheard you, sir."

"You females all got selective hearing, you know that?" he grunted. He raised one hand up and pointed at her, moving his finger at every word he said.

"I. Want. You. To. Take. Over. For. Me."

Retsuko still couldn't believe her ears.

The words Ton had said at the office party that day ran through her mind over and over:

SOMEDAY YOU'LL BE THE ONE THEY'LL BE CALLIN' SHITTY BOSS...

Was this retaliation for that? Surely not.

"Don't ask why, Calendar. I gave you my reasons. Will you do it or not?"

Retsuko thought of everyone she worked with. Ton was right. If corporate brought in a new boss they might clean house and fire everyone on the spot. That not only meant herself, but also Haida and Fenneko. Even Kabae, who she really couldn't stand, had a little kid and a nephew to take care of. Everyone had jobs riding on this transition.

She sighed, and despite her inner voice warning her, she acquiesced to Ton's proposal.

"Okay, I'll do it. But only for a little while or until I figure out what to do. I don't know the first thing about running an office."

Ton snorted again and coughed.

"You'll figure it out. I got thrown in and told to swim too when I was your age."

He motioned at a pad and pen laying on table next to his bed.

"Hand that here."

Retsuko looked at him.

He growled and closed his eyes to her.

"Please."

She handed him the pad and pen and he raised his bed up so he could sit up a little better. He started writing.

"I'm writing a letter to HR and the CEO about the circumstances and how I wanna pass the baton to you. They'll probably call me here to talk but let me handle it. Make 6 copies and deliver one to to HR. Give one to Tsbone, so she knows you're in charge now. Have the third one sent to the CEO himself. There's a secretary..." he snapped his fingers. "Real good-looking...Wishiwashi... her name's somethin' like that. Give it her and she can give it to him. They'll probably initiate the paperwork to make it official after you deliver everything where it goes."

Retsuko stared at him, her mind still reeling from her impromptu promotion.

"And the other 3 copies?"

"Keep 'em. You might need 'em. Plus the original. Part of bein' director is gettin' things done in triplicate so you have stuff to back up other stuff."

Retsuko didn't say anything as he wrote. She was wondering how she was going to tell Haida and how everyone else at work would take this. She honestly didn't want this, but she decided to do it for all of them.

The nurse walked back in.

"15 minutes, ma'am."

"Okay," Retsuko stood and her legs were shaking.

Ton tore the paper off and handed it to her.

"Make sure it gets where it's supposed to go, Short-Timer."

"I...I will, sir."

As Retsuko left the beast's lair the voice in her head screamed that she was making a mistake and that this was a deal with the devil. She couldn't help but agree.

Haida was very uncomfortable. All he had wanted to do was get his ear looked at. Now here he was sitting in a freezing cold exam room in nothing but a hospital gown and his garments on an equally cold, hard, paper-lined table. He had been poked, prodded, inspected and interrogated by what seemed like everyone in the the hospital, which had embarrassed him to no end, and a nurse had actually offered to give him a full physical. He'd turned it down, obviously.

He kept pulling at the gown. It wasn't nearly long enough to cover him properly because of his height. He had also been waiting for what seemed like a millennia for the doctor to see him.

He moved his legs because his backside was going to sleep.

Finally he heard a knock and Dr. Quill let herself in.

"Hi there, I'm sorry for the wait. I'm Dr. Quill as you know, and I understand your name to be..." she looked at the tablet she held. "Haida?"

"Yes ma'am."

She snapped on a pair of rubber gloves from the dispenser next to the exam table, talking as she worked.

"Its nice to see a creature from the West like me. It's refreshing. Your name is unusual for a hyena, though. How did you come by it?"

Haida looked down, once again embarrassed at the attention.

"My parents came here from the Western country before I was born, and I was given a Japanese name by my sister." he explained.

"Ah, makes sense. Okay, I need you to lie down on your back and relax every muscle in your head until I say to move."

Haida did as she asked, holding the gown down on himself, and he felt her dexterous fingers enter the inside if his ear, two on the inside, two fingers and thumb on the outside. She gently squeezed.

"Okay, I need you to try and raise it for me."

He tried with no luck.

She moved her fingers to another point.

"Again."

Once more he tried and again no luck.

"Okay, once more and I need you to try really super hard for me."

He squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated, and still nothing.

"Okay, Haida, you can sit back up now."

She peeled her gloves off and threw them away, taking up her tablet again and typing something in.

"What ails you is a sports injury called Tripper's Ear. It usually comes in here on creatures that play rough sports such as rugby or football. Did you fall or were you playing rough when this happened?"

"I fell." Haida didn't feel like explaining about his family drama and how his brother had beaten the living stew out of him.

"Mm hmm." she nodded knowingly and typed into her tablet again.

She set it down and snapped on another pair of gloves.

"This kind of injury happens so frequently it often gets fixed in office. Would you like me to do that for you?"

"How long will it take?"

"Couple of hours, tops."

He nodded and excused himself for a moment and texted Retsuko to let her know what was happening.

-HOW IS EVERYTHING?

The bubbles at the top of the screen bobbed for a moment.

-JUST GOT DONE WITH TON. NEED A DRINK. SOMETHING MAJOR HAPPENED. HOW LONG WILL YOU BE?

He typed back.

-IS EVERYTHING OK?

The bubbles bobbed again.

-IT'S FINE. HOW LONG?

He typed back again.

-A COUPLE OF HOURS. THE DOCTOR SAYS SHE CAN FIX IT.

Bubbles.

-OKAY I'LL WAIT FOR YOU IN THE LOBBY IN CASE THEY HAVE YOU DOPED UP OR SOMETHING. BUT I NEED A DRINK AFTER WE GET HOME. I HAVE SOMETHING BIG TO TELL YOU.

-OKAY SWEETHEART. LOVE YOU.

-LOVE YOU TOO.

Part 53: Hospital Part 3

Dr Quill chatted with Haida as she worked. She had given him anesthetic for his ear so he couldn't feel it and was doing a small surgery to get the injured muscles in his ear back to rights. The problem was, she explained, that the main ear muscle next to his skull was stretched too far and wouldn't go back to normal size, so she was having to do a series of small cuts and sews to get it to shorten properly.

"So, Haida, like I said it's really good to talk to someone from the West like me. You're the first hyena I've ever worked on."

Haida laid on his back quietly and kept his head turned and still so she could work.

"I imagine. There...aren't too many of us here in Japan."

"I'm not trying to sound speciesist or anything like that," she said, "so don't get me wrong when I say this. I just want to get some perspective from you. I really hate how you guys get a bum rap sometimes. Its not fair how some creatures perceive you all."

Haida scowled a little.

"To be honest," he said,"I've never really given that much thought. Its true, as a hyena I've always felt like the odd one out because of my species. But everyone here has always treated me well. I just know know that we hyenas aren't considered that attractive to look at. Its never really caused me trouble that I know of."

The racoon made a snip with her scissors at a stitch and began working on another area.

"I'm really glad you've never had to experience that. I've spoken to some of my other patients and they HATE your species because of your looks. They think you guys are just filthy and should stay out of the city. That's just horrible to say."

"Thank you doctor." Haida smiled a little bit at the show of support despite the fact that he felt he hadn't needed it to begin with.

Dr. Quill worked in silence for a few more minutes.

"Your wife is very lucky, you know that?"

Haida decided to let that ride for a little while for the sake of conjecture.

"In what way?"

"She's got a big tall fellow to look after her."

Haida chuckled.

"Believe me, doctor, she can look after herself with no problems."

As Retsuko sat in the lobby waiting for Haida, She thought about her new promotion over and over again. Would she even be able to pull it? Just 2 years ago she was considering quitting and never coming back. Now she was the (unofficial for now) Director over the whole department.

That would not bode well with Tsbone. She knew that old lizard would be already angling for the job for herself. She might make things even worse for Retsuko just out of spite now.

The red panda leaned back in her seat and put her hand over her eyes, rubbing them. God she was tired. The only thing beneficial about this whole trip was getting Haida's ear fixed. The conversation with Ton had worn her out.

What if she turned into a creature like Ton?

The thought wandered across her mind and she sat bolt upright in her seat, whimpering a little. Her stomach felt tight and her chest was heavy, and she was starting to sweat. The next thing she knew she was running for the bathroom, and found herself dry-heaving in one of the stalls, leaning over the toilet.

Shaking, she pulled herself upright and leaned against the stall wall, breathing hard and enjoying the coolness of the stainless steel against her back. She wanted to just stay in here, where it was cool and quiet and nobody would bother her. She also wanted to go home and never have to show her face again. She wanted to just curl up in the bed and just stay there where she knew it was safe and she could just stay Retsuko the ordinary accountant instead of undergoing the wierd change that would make her boss.

Retsuko breathed deeply, getting herself under control. She had to get a handle on herself. She had to be responsible. She swallowed and forced herself to go back out there and wait for her boyfriend.

When Dr. Quill finished working, she had put a small cardboard brace inside of Haida's ear to hold it up and wrapped it firmly in gauze and bandages. He was explicitly instructed to try not move it for a week and then come back so she could check it. She also gave him some pain pills for if it got to bothering him too much.

As Haida walked out into the lobby to meet Retsuko, he saw her sitting in one of the chairs in the corner. She had fallen asleep, leaning against the wall. Her ears were laid back and her mouth was hanging open. That talk with Ton must have been tough.

As he got closer, he noticed she looked really sick. The color around her nose and ears was really pale compared to their usual rosy pink color, and there were bags under her eyes.

He touched her cheek.

"Tsuko?"

His girlfriend opened her eyes and sat up, stretching a little and looking at him.

"Hey," Haida said quietly.

He bent over a little, still speaking quietly.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm okay. Are you?"

Haida stood back up and motioned at his ear.

"She says she fixed it. Are you sure you're okay?"

Retsuko stood and grabbed her pocketbook.

"I'm fine, just tired. Haida, there's something I have to tell you when we get home."

Retsuko was quiet all the way home on the bus, and when they reached their apartment the first thing she did when she got in was head for the fridge and pop the top off a beer, chugging half of it before she sat down on the couch next to Haida. He stared as she chugged, knowing this meant something was really stressing her out.

"Surely it wasn't that bad, was it?"

Retsuko wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

"Yes, Haida, it was. I've been promoted. He's not coming back. I'm Director now."

Haida looked surprised.

"Well, this is new. Why is it so bad?"

Retsuko glared at him, that small grain of rage flairing up again. It actually baffled her why he didn't seem to understand her dilemma. But the calm side of her reasoned with the rage, telling her that he was simply wanting to find out her perspective on the whole situation and that he wasn't a mind reader.

She set her beer down on the coffee table in front of her and counted to ten, not looking at Haida. She had to be reasonable. No sense in going off on him when he was simply wanting to talk. She just needed to let off some steam.

She spoke, still not looking at him.

"I never wanted this position. I wasn't expecting it. I don't want it. The only reason I took it was to keep everyone from possibly getting fired and keep everything on an even keel there. Ton said the department has to be run like a tight ship. I know that, but I don't know how to run an office!"

She slapped the arm of the couch, venting her frustration. She then covered her face, leaning back against the couch and growling.

Haida simply sat and listened, letting her get it out of her system.

Speaking through her fingers and still leaned back, she continued.

"I-I-I don't want to turn into Ton! I don't want creatures thinking I'm a shitty boss too! How is everyone going to see me when word gets around that I'm Director? Will I lose what camaraderie I had? Will this disrupt US? Am I going to have to break with you and Fenneko, like, move you guys to another area or even another department? I don't know what to do, Haida! I'm so...scared..."

Haida leaned over and put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, letting her lean against him in a show of support. She still had her face covered.

"Tsuko, I have total faith in you that you can do it. You're clever as hell and super smart. When Ton was out that first day you did just fine helping everyone out. They were actually coming to you for help; you weren't the one trying to force yourself on them. That's the difference between you and Ton."

He stroked her head gently.

"With Ton it felt like a slave driver and we had to obey him because we were forced to or else. With you, though, they came to you because they think of you as a friend stepping up to help. So, I think you'll make a great boss because everyone seems to understand that."

He pulled her a little closer.

"When it comes to me and Fenneko, what difference will it make if they split us up? I mean, we love each other in various forms, she as a friend, you and I as lovers. So, we will simply treat it like working separate jobs at different places. We can still meet up and do stuff together as friends, and me and you will still be together. Its not like they're forbidding our relationship."

He moved and pulled her hands away, silently asking her to look up at him.

"And you won't do it alone, Tsuko. I will be there to help you every step of the way. I'm not going to just let you flounder. Neither will Fenneko."

Retsuko looked up at him and sniffled, her eyes welling up a little.

"So don't worry, dear. We've got your back."

He gave her a little kiss on the head, and she wiped her eyes on her sleeve, giving him a small smile at the same time.

"Thank you Haida. You're always so logical about things."

"Thanks, darlin. Let's get to bed. We've got a super busy day tomorrow."

Part 54: Work and Worry

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Retsuko reached over and smacked at her phone, trying to figure out how to turn the alarm off without coming out of her cocoon of blankets. She was still sleepy because she had been awake half the night worrying about what would happen this day. All those feelings she had felt about not wanting to go to work all those years paled in comparison to the way she felt now. She would have given anything to go back to that.

The phone continued its incessant dirge, forcing her to finally emerge and reach to turn it off. She cursed as she finally managed to get the screen unlocked and turned it off, bringing quiet to the bedroom again.

Haida stirred next to her and turned over to embrace her from behind.

"Good morning," he said, "and I hate that alarm."

Retsuko sighed and relaxed against him for a moment, trying to find some kind of good thing about today.

Haida patted her side.

"C'mon sweetheart, let's get up. This means food and rent and other things."

She felt him turn over again and felt the bed shift as he stood.

She covered her face in the covers again.

"Do I have to?" she groaned.

"It's your choice but I highly recommend it."

She stayed for another moment. He heard his voice from the bedroom door.

"Tsuko, don't make me go get the giant creature-sized spatula to scrape you out of there," he joked.

She heard him move down the hall and heard the sound of the shower starting. She hoped he put a shower cap on to protect his ear dressing.

She groaned again and got up, knowing Haida would come and pester her until she finally got up, and she didn't feel like being pestered this morning.

By the time she herself had showered and gotten dried off and dressed, Haida had gone ahead and made them some coffee. He had a mug waiting for her on the counter, and he also had some toast going and was boiling some eggs for protein.

She took her coffee cup and sipped at it as she leaned on the counter watching him get breakfast together. It always amazed her at how well he could hit the ground running in the mornings.

"Need some help?" she said.

"Nope, I've got it." He glanced over at her as he kept an eye on the toast.

"I don't want to go in anymore than you do," he said, "and I know you're nervous, but it's a necessary evil, like doing laundry or using the bathroom. With your new position I understand that makes things worse."

He pulled the toast from the toaster and began spreading some peanut butter on the slices.

"I know how you feel," he said as he worked.

"When you're the top and everyone is looking at you and you're so scared because you just KNOW everyone is secretly criticizing you, it gets hard to concentrate on what you're there to do. What I used to do when I had to get in front of a crowd was mentally focus on one thing that made me happy.

Just one thing. Like my mind would go blank and I would just see that one thing, like it was in space and I was there and only the thing was there. I would then play just to it, like I would play for you."

He dumped the hot water from the boiling eggs in the sink, carefully leaving the eggs in the pot and running cold water over them to cool them.

"Find that one thing to focus on as you go throughout your workday, and don't worry about what other creatures think. I guarantee it will help a lot with the anxiety."

"Thank you," she said, feeling a hair better. Haida could be a complete wreck of nerves sometimes but he was also extremely wise for his age.

She began to help him peel the eggs.

As they sat at the coffee table eating breakfast, Retsuko couldn't help but watch Haida as he ate. It always interested her to watch his mouth for some reason.

He was a hyena and she knew about how strong a hyena's biteforce was, and with his long fangs and short, thick snout, one would think he would be be a rather messy eater. But he wasn't, surprisingly. She admired how delicately his fangs took the cooked yolk from the whites of his halved boiled eggs and left nary a mark on them.

"Haida, can I ask you something, as a hyena?"

Haida put his coffee down and looked at her.

"Of course. What's up?"

"I know how hyenas have a super strong bite, so, I'm just curious, have you ever used that? Have you ever bitten anything in a super hard manner?"

Haida looked embarrassed for a moment and hid his face in his hand.

"Actually, yes."

Retsuko swallowed her coffee hard, not expecting such an answer from someone like him.

"What did you bite?"

He mumbled something into his hand.

"...cub...bite...tr..."

Retsuko leaned forward a little.

"What was that?"

Haida removed his hand and blurted it out.

"When I was cub, my siblings and I used to go out to the woods and bite trees."

Retsuko stared for a moment and then started laughing.

Haida stared at her as she laughed, halfway grinning.

"What?"

Retsuko kept laughing, trying to imagine a young Haida with his mouth full of tree bark. Finally she wiped her eyes and got herself under control.

Still giggling, she asked him why.

Haida explained as he licked the peanut butter from his toast.

"We were young, dumb cubs. Hyena cubs are brought up learning about our bite force so we don't accidentally hurt someone. As with youngsters, we decided to make it a contest to see who was strongest in that area. Kirk was the one who came up with it. Whoever could take the biggest bite out of a tree was the winner. So we'd go out to woods, pick a small tree, and start our contests. I never won; that badge went to either Ross or Levon."

He tapped the three teeth that stuck out of the side of his mouth with a fingertip.

"Did you know that this isn't actually how my teeth are supposed to look?"

Retsuko set her coffee down again, looking both concerned and incredulous.

"What do you mean?" she said.

Haida continued tapping his teeth thoughtfully, telling his story.

"We were having our silly contest and it was my turn. I opened my jaw, bit down, and gave a twist with my neck to bring some wood shavings out, and I must have bitten into a piece of knotwood because my head moved but my jaw didn't and I heard a pop. It hurt like you wouldn't believe.

Mama and Pa rushed me to the doctor in town and it turned out I had actually dislocated my jaw and fractured it on this side."

He tapped his teeth once more.

"It healed obviously, but apparently it altered the way my teeth grew."

Retsuko cocked her head and picked up her toast.

"Your siblings all have snaggle teeth as well, though."

"I know, but not to this degree. If you'll notice they all have little snaggles. I have big ones and it's because of that tree accident."

"Does that make you feel self-conscious?" Retsuko asked.

"Sometimes. Creatures stare occasionally and it feels like I put them off or make them afraid."

Retsuko took his hand as he reached for another egg.

"I think they define you perfectly, Haida. I'm not just saying that because I love you, I'm saying that because it makes you look unique, like having a spot on your eye or something. Those teeth are what make you you. Always remember that."

"Thanks, panda."

The walk to the subway and the trip to work felt to Retsuko like a journey to her doom, like she was a betrayed queen going to her execution. The fear was there in the pit of stomach like a stone, and her heart was beating fast and she wanted to just stop the train and throw up.

Haida's arm around her shoulders was the one thing that kept her grounded and kept her from getting off at the next stop and going straight back home. She did as he had suggested that morning and closed her eyes and focused. One thing that made her happy. Retsuko had to find a center and that one thing.

Haida was something that made her happy, of course; she could always focus on him. But what else? Her job didn't make her happy, obviously. Her Grandmother and Great Aunt? No way. She would just as soon not have anything to do with them. Her par...she pushed the thought away. That definitely did not make her happy.

Haida's family? They made her happy-they were the family she'd never had. Fenneko? She was her best friend next to Haida.

Retsuko realized how empty her life had been before Haida had become a full and official part of her life. Sure, they had been friends but that was about it. Now she had an extended family and thus a support system through him. Before it had just been work, rage, and karaoke. Now his ever-calm presence cooled the anger within her when it flared up.

She closed her eyes and really focused this time, on both her boyfriend Haida and her best friend Fenneko. She concentrated on Maya, Kirk, Ross, Levon, and Jonathan, and thought about kindly May and huge Jean.

As the train bumped along beneath her feet, she slowed her breathing and pictured them all in her mind. They were all cheering for her and supporting her every step of the way, as she knew they would be were they there in real life.

There was her center. Fenneko would be there at the office, Haida would be there, and all of his family would be there in spirit.

She wouldn't have to worry because she had found the thing that made her happy.

Part 55: Office Space

Without Ton being there to get onto her, Retsuko felt a little more relaxed about going to the accounting department to clock in. She had already dressed in her office garb this time, so she could skip the locker room this morning and use that time to distribute the memo that Ton had written out.

First was HR, the Secretary of which didn't believe Ton's memo was valid due to the fact that it was handwritten. After a lengthy argument, explosive grains of rage forming on in Retsuko's mind, and several heated phonecalls on the sides of both parties, the rabbit behind the desk finally begrudgingly agreed with Retsuko and gave her her copies and kept one for their records.

Next was locating Washimi. Retsuko was uncertain how to go about giving the memo to her. What would Washimi say when she read it before delivering it to the CEO? Would she laud her and tell Gori? What would Gori do? Retsuko didn't want the embarrassment of having the Boss spotlight on her. She simply wanted to slip into her new position with as little fuss and pomp as possible.

After wandering the hallways for quite a while, she finally found the tall Secretary bird leaning up against a wall adjusting one of her high heeled shoes, files under her arm. Retsuko stopped and simply watched for a moment, never having ever seen Washimi is such an awkward position. Even when they took yoga together (which Retsuko knew she had to get back to doing) Washimi's movements were always graceful.

"Washimi!" Retsuko called.

Not expecting the sound of her name, the CEO's secretary fell forward a little, catching herself before she hit the ground and dropping her file, spraying papers onto the floor. She immediately put on her usual poker face and started picking up the papers, filing them in order quickly and easily before placing them back in their file.

"Oh, no, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" Retsuko said as she ran up.

Washimi fully stood and continued sorting though her papers, speaking as she did.

"It's okay. Do me a favor, though. When we're here, please address me as 'Miss' Washimi. Nothing personal and not trying to sound snooty but we need to keep up a front of professionalism if we want any respect here. Any other time, fine."

She looked down at the red panda through her long lashes.

"What can I do for you?"

"I...I have a memo here from Director Ton of Accounting," Retsuko stammered.

"It concerns a...promotion...that has to take place immediately in light of his unfortunate and abrupt leaving due to heart failure."

Washimi started laughing when Retsuko got to the word "unfortunate" and kept laughing until Retsuko was finished.

"Unfortunate? Hardly unfortunate. That pig was always staring at me like I was a good meal when he saw me. It always made me really uncomfortable. Maybe I can now actually go to the Accounting department to conduct business as needed instead of having to have everything done with guys by internal snail mail. Who's the new Director? Did he ask for someone from Accounting or did he hire from outside?"

Retsuko simply handed Washimi a copy of Ton's note.

Taking it, Washimi scanned over it, and her eyes grew big, going back and forth from Retsuko to the note and then back again. She kept her composure and spoke quietly to her friend.

"Well, congratulations. I'll be sure to deliver this to the CEO and make double sure he approves it. Gori will be pleased to hear this, so know that when you come back to yoga she's going to be firing a million questions at you."

Washimi tucked the copy of the memo away into her file.

"You are coming back, aren't you? We've missed you."

"Of course I am," Retsuko said, shifting her own file to her other arm. "It's just been really busy lately; first with the snowstorm and being stuck on Haida's family farm for 6 weeks and then helping him move and now this promotion that I didn't want to begin with..." Retsuko realized she was rambling and shut herself up.

Washimi stared down at her, listening.

"Walk with me," she finally said.

"How's Haida doing by the way?" the Secretary asked. "I heard he fell and hurt his ear."

"He did but he's had it worked on and it's healing up."

"That's good."

"How'd you know?"

"Tsunoda."

"Augh. She's like a radar that picks everything up."

Retsuko had a hard time keeping up with the tall bird's stride, so Washimi slowed down a little so they could talk in private as they walked.

"Retsuko, why did you take the job if you didn't want it? Why don't you want it anyway?"

Retsuko looked up at Washimi as she kept up.

"I don't want it because I don't want everyone to look at me like they looked at Director Ton. I don't want to be a shitty boss like he was. I'm afraid that if I have to discipline someone or even fire someone I'll become the shitty boss. I took the job because I was concerned about everyone's jobs there. If they were to bring in someone new they might fire everyone."

Retsuko sped up a little to keep up with Washimi better.

"Ton specified me to be boss because he said I was the best candidate because of that. He also said I was the toughest and most organized of everyone as well.

But I'm not tough...I mean, I almost quit 2 years ago. I drink when I'm stressed and I cry alot. How is that tough? And organized? Ha! I can't even keep my half of the apartment duties straight half the time."

Retsuko paused during her spiel and realized they were now standing outside the CEO's office.

"But you're still here, arent you?" Washimi said. "You're still working here after so long and you also still have Haida after all these years. That takes effort. The drinking and crying are simply outlets."

The Secretary bird paused, thinking and tapping her beak thoughtfully.

"Let me tell you something, Retsuko," Washimi said.

"When I was a chick I would always watch my mother struggle while she was raising me and she never thought she was good enough to be my mother.

I always told her she was a good mother because good mothers worry about their chicks and how they are being taken care of. In her mind, she was a bad mother. But to me she was a great mother because she wanted to love me and take care of me."

Retsuko looked up at her, puzzled as to where this conversation was going.

Catching the look, Washimi continued.

"I'm leading up to a point here. Now that i have my own chick..."

Retsuko interrupted.

"You have a chick??"

Washimi chuckled.

"Yes I do, a little female, and thank you for the compliment. But getting back to what I was saying, I understand where my mother was coming from now. I do the best I can to take care of my chick and love her.

My point is, be it either as a parent or a boss, you can only do what you can, and you can always be different than those before you. Just because Ton was a shitty boss doesn't mean you will be, at all.

Sometimes to yourself you might think you're doing a terrible job, but to others outside you, you may be the best thing ever. Don't beat yourself up too much or expect too much of yourself because it can hurt you and those around you. Ton might have been an asshole but he wanted you to be boss for a reason.

Someone like him wouldn't just hand the reins over to just anyone. He wanted to make sure everything he worked for for so long didn't go down the drain.

You're really good and really tough, Retsuko. You just don't see it, just like my mother didn't think she was a good parent. That can be a good thing because it keeps you humble before the creatures working under you."

"Th...thank you, Miss Washimi."

Haida's words about the new position and her feelings on it and Washimi's speech finally connected in Retsuko's mind and made her feel better. They were both right.

Apparently Ton had thought she was right for the job, which was a huge complement in itself. As Director she could only do what she could do, and dedicate herself to the department and its employees. They were depending on her, and saw her as a friend rather than a boss.

Despite her reservations, she finally decided she would do it and do the best she could with what she had to work with.

Going back to the Accounting department with a tiny spring in her step, she paused outside the door and breathed hard, concentrating. Despite her new outlook, that old fear was sinking back into her stomach. Her palms started to sweat and she felt herself starting to freeze up.

She concentrated hard, picturing Haida and Fenneko. Her friend and long-time boyfriend were waiting for her on the other side like beacons.

But at the same time the dreaded serpent Tsubone awaited to be vanquished.

She would open the door on the count of 3.

1... 2... 3...

She gripped the handle and turned it, hearing it click and the door hinges creak.

Her closed eyes and open ears were met with the sound of clapping and cheering.

Part 56: Knight of the Conference Table

Retsuko's eyes popped open and she gasped at the sudden noise. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw everyone either standing or sitting at their desks, looking at her and clapping and making celebratory sounds.

Tsubone and Komiya were nowhere to be seen.

She glanced over at Haida's desk to see he was sitting and clapping as well, looking proud enough to burst, and Fenneko was sitting and rapidly typing something into her phone and snapping pictures of the office. She glanced up at Retsuko and gave her an extremely rare grin.

Retsuko's knees turned to jelly as she walked into the room, and everyone was coming forward and congratulating her on her promotion, slapping her on the back and shaking her hand telling her how glad they were to have her.

Finally she managed to excuse herself and escaped to the small office kitchen to recover.

How on earth had everyone learned she was boss now? Surely a memo couldn't be sent out to the computers that fast.

She ran some cold water in the sink and splashed her face and ears to cool herself from the embarrassment.

She sighed and let the water out and then simply leaned against the counter, watching it spin as it went down the drain.

Retsuko jumped and struggled for a moment as she suddenly felt a pair of arms around her waist and felt a head rest on top of hers.

Haida's familiar voice met her ears and the scent of hay met her nose. She held his hands as they rested against her stomach.

"You okay, Tsuko?"

Without turning around, Retsuko spoke back to his voice.

"I'm alright. How did everyone know so soon? Did you or Fenneko tell them?"

Haida's arms squeezed her a little and she felt him turn his head to rest his cheek next to her ear.

"Of course not. Why would I put you through that? That would just be cruel."

"Thank you. I guess HR jumped the gun and sent it out early. I'm not even supposed to officially start until tomorrow. I still need to clean out Ton's desk and have IT bring a computer up for me, and then there's all that paperwork to do on said desk today, and I still have to contend with Tsubone-she's not going to be happy with the fact that I got promoted over her..."

Retsuko felt Haida let go of her and come around to her side so she could see him. He leaned one hip against the counter and crossed his arms, looking at her in amusement.

"There's my responsible, fearless panda. I knew she was still in there."

He uncrossed his arms and put his hand on her shoulder reassuringly, looking down at her.

"Don't worry, Tsuko, like I said, Fenneko and I both have your back, okay?"

Retsuko nodded, knowing this to be the truth.

"Remember," Haida said quietly, "think of something that makes you happy when it feels like you're overwhelmed."

He looked in her eyes.

"If you're ready, let's go back out there and face the crowd together."

The day went quickly, with Retsuko putting in orders for a new chair and a work computer. Ton had never used a computer and his old chair was so big and squashed down from years of heavy-duty usage there was no way in hell she could reach what was now her desk when sitting in it.

There was also the matter of the huge pile of paperwork that was sitting on the desk currently overdue and she still had to deliver Ton's memo to Tsubone.

Retsuko, sitting at her regular desk for the sake of comfort and efficiency until her new chair and computer came, looked over to where Tsubone usually curled up in her own desk chair and work cubicle and awaited figurative victims. No sign of her. Was she out for the day or had she heard about Retsuko's promotion and had taken off in anger?

She would have to locate her. Where on earth was Komiya as well?

"Does anyone know where Tsubone is?" she called out.

Several heads went up and someone hollered back.

"She's been upstairs in the conference room all day looking through files."

"Files? Do you know what kind?" she called back.

"Nope. We've all been at our desks all day except for her."

"What about Komiya?"

Heads went up again.

"Haven't seen him."

"Thank you."

Retsuko settled back down at her desk. After she finished with this particular client's numbers, she would go track the dreaded dragon down and give her the vanquishment papers, then she had to tackle the paperwork on Ton's desk.

About an hour later, Retsuko finally finished up and took a break before heading upstairs to the conference room. Her head was buzzing from concentrating so hard and she needed caffeine.

All that was in the vending machine in the break room was soda and canned coffee. Soda had too much sugar and canned coffee was the bane of her existence because of a certain ex of hers. She quietly gave the machine a smack and decided she'd just be tired.

Feeling slightly grouchy from her inability to find something caffeinated to drink and the fact that she had to take the elevator up 2 floors to the main conference room, Retsuko was not in the mood to argue and just hoped Tsubone wasn't in too much of a fighting mood.

She found the lizard in the conference room, just as her coworker had said. Retsuko quietly took a look at her through the room's the big glass windows to assess the situation before she went in.

Tsubone had numerous files and books spread out in front of her on the big conference room table, and she was feverishly going through them, writing things down, flipping pages and opening files. Every once in a while she would grin at what she read and her tongue would flick out and in greedily.

What could she be looking at that caused her so much fervor?

Retsuko finished walking the length on the glass windows and opened the conference room door, sticking her head in.

"Tsubone? What are you doing up here? I've been looking for you all day."

Tsubone looked up in surprise and her eyes narrowed for a split second when they caught sight of Retsuko. Her face then relaxed and she put on a grandmotherly air, addressing Retsuko sweetly.

"Well, hello, young miss!" she smiled, showing long, thin, fangs. "Con...congratulations on your promotion!"

The words sounded forced, and Retsuko had caught the way Tsubone had looked at her when she came into the room, catching her in the act of something.

"Thank you, Tsubone." Retsuko tried to be polite.

"So, what do you need?" Tsubone said, still grinning that forced grin.

"I'm here to deliver a memo for you from former Director Ton," Retsuko said, holding it out to her, "in light of his recent resignation due to health problems."

"Oh ho ho!" Tsubone snatched the memo paper from Retsuko's hand. "I wonder what good things he's said about me..."

Retsuko couldn't help but smile inside with the smallest bit of guilty pleasure as she watched Tsubone scan the paper and saw her face fall further and further into discomfort and irritation. Here was absolute proof Retsuko was now Director, straight from the pig's mouth.

"So you really are Director now..."

Tsubone lowered the paper and stared hard the red panda before her. Retsuko stayed on her guard, sensing the wheels turning in the crafty old lizard' s mind.

Tsubone stood for a moment, then walked over, picked up a trash can, crumpled the paper right in front of Retsuko's face, and dropped it in. She was shaking with anger.

"That's what I think of your 'promotion'," she hissed at Retsuko, glaring at her. She gestured at herself angrily.

"I deserved that job. I worked hard to get to where I am, for 20 years, and now some young, wet-behind-the-ears MAMMAL thinks she's going to be telling me what to do??"

Tsubone moved closer to Retsuko, her tongue flicking in and out rapidly.

Retsuko stood still, looking at the raging lizard and letting her get it out of her system.

"You don't deserve this job, red," Tsubone hissed quietly.

Retsuko stayed calm.

"Tsubone, please let me remind you of your place here in this department and allow me to ask you to back off before I am forced to call security." Retsuko showed Tsubone her phone.

Tsubone backed away about 6 inches, not being a fool but still trying to be intimidating.

"Director Ton has made his choice," Retsuko said, "The CEO has approved the transition as has HR. I don't want to make an enemy of you, Tsubone, please. Maybe we can work together better now that we're closer in rank-"

Tsubone cut her off.

"I WILL NEVER WILLINGLY WORK WITH YOU, YOU LAZY, INCOMPETENT PANDA! I WILL STICK TO MY WORK AND YOU STICK TO YOURS! FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO HELP DIRECT!"

Retsuko blinked at this outburst, but still kept her cool, not rising to Tsubone' s bait.

She had to take charge NOW. She was Director now, and she couldn't let someone walk all over her the first day.

"Tsubone, I'm sorry but that's the way things are. If you can't seem to be able to go back to the department and do your job properly, then I will have no choice but to either demote you or fire you. I hate having to say that."

Tsubone found the crack in the situation and worked her way inside it. She continued raging at Retsuko, trying to find an angle to twist the new Director's words.

"SO YOU'RE GOING TO FIRE ME JUST BECAUSE I PROTEST SOMETHING? I'LL SUE! YOU'RE GOING TO FIRE A POOR OLD FEMALE BECAUSE SHE SAYS SHE CAN'T DO HER JOB PROPERLY DUE TO BAD WORKING CONDITIONS?"

Retsuko rolled her eyes and walked around the table away from Tsubone, still keeping her cool and glancing down at the papers Tsubone had been working on.

"Go back downstairs and go back to work, Tsubone, or I will have to report you for insubordination. Which may lead to other unpleseantries. Also, I had best not see you pawning your work off on others again. It's not fair to anyone to do that."

Tsubone, seeing she was beaten for right now, turned and walked out the door and stuck her head back in.

"I am going to make your time here a living hell," she hissed as a parting shot. She disappeared and Retsuko could hear her continuing to hiss all the way down the hall to the elevators.

Retsuko, now alone in the conference room, collapsed in the chair Tsubone had been sitting in, swallowing the pebbles of rage that had formed in her mind during Tsubone's tirade.

Thank God for security cameras. She wouldn't put it past that old dragon to say Retsuko had assaulted her with a crowbar.

Leaning forward, she looked at what Tsubone had been working so hard on.

All the books and files concerned rules and regulations of the company, some so small and obscure that they were outdated and no one paid attention to them anymore.

Thumbing through the papers, she began to find names of her fellow coworkers written down, along with many of the tiny infractions they had accidentally committed over the years. Just a few included:

Ookami-parking too close to the building during rainstorms. So what did she expect him to do? Get drenched on the way in?

Tsunoda- speaking too loudly and out of turn. OUT OF TURN? SEROUSLY?

Manumaru- coming into the department too frequently.

Retsuko- not completing any work on time and insubordination.

Retsuko gasped at the sight of her name and looked up, puzzled. She most certainly did complete her work, and then some. And insubordination? If you called finishing everyone else's work insubordination then she was guilty as charged.

Manumaru? He wasn't even in Accounting. No one had any jurisdiction over him here. What on earth was Tsubone up to?

Retsuko stood and began taking pictures of the work Tsubone had done with her phone, making sure to get every detail- the books she had been using, the notepads she had been writing on, what she had been writing, the names of her coworkers, everything.

She then began collecting the papers together, putting them in an empty folder that was there. She then stacked the books on the table, not being at all sure where they went. The extra files she would deliver to their proper departments herself. As she worked, a thought occurred to her.

Tsubone had fully believed she was going to get the Director job and was preparing to clean house.That was why she had flown into such a rage when the proof was set in stone before her.

Retsuko put the matter on the back burner for now. Tsubone had little power now, and this was just the tantrum of someone who hadn't gotten their way.

She would make another copy of the memo and put it on Tsubone' s desk before she left tonight.

Part 57: Hard Day's Night

As the day progressed further along, Retsuko still inquired around about Komiya. He was nowhere to be seen and if he didn't show by 5:00 that afternoon, she would have to write him up as a no-show. She didn't want to have to write anyone up, even Komiya.

She tried settling at the Director's desk to tackle the paperwork because there was so much of it, but she simply couldn't reach due to her smaller stature.

She sighed to herself as she climbed down out of the old Director's chair, feeling like a small cub getting down from the dinner table. What was next, a phonebook to sit on? That would be even more humiliating.

She then dragged her own chair over to the Director's desk and settled in. Yes, this would do nicely until the new chair came in. It still didnt raise her to the proper height, as the new desk was higher and bigger, but she could at least see over the top if she knelt in it on her knees.

Her phone pinged. It was Haida.

-HEY, DO YOU NEED SOME HELP WITH ALL THAT?

She glanced over at his desk and he was looking at her. Evidently he had been watching her struggle with trying to figure out how to tackle the papers atop Desk Mountain.

She typed back.

-FINISH WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO FIRST. THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE WHETHER YOU HELP ME OR NOT. I MAY BE HERE TIL LATE. :(

She watched him type back.

-MAYBE I CAN STAY AND HELP YOU? A SECOND SET OF EYES IN THIS JOB NEVER HURTS PLUS I CAN HELP YOU REACH.

She smiled at him as she typed back.

-IF YOU FEEL UP TO IT, THANK YOU.

Haida messaged back.

-OF COURSE I DO. THAT'S WHAT A GOOD BOYFRIEND DOES.

Retsuko smiled at him again, grateful for the help.

When 5 o'clock rolled around, everyone was clamoring to go home. Fenneko hung back long enough to apologize to her two friends for not staying and helping, but said that she had a previous engagement that couldn't be reacheduled.

Retsuko watched as she hurried out the door and walked in the direction of the sales department. She smiled a little bit, her suspicions futher confirmed. Haida, standing behind her, leaned down and whispered to her.

"Looks like Fenneko has some VERY important business to to take care of."

Retsuko turned her head and looked up at him, speaking quietly.

"Some sales business, looks like."

Haida grinned, keeping the joke going.

"I wonder what she's investing in?"

Retsuko playfully gave the end of Haida's tie a little tug.

"Whatever it is, she's so invested it's keeping her up at night."

Haida barked a short laugh, and they looked at each other, grinning, both knowing exactly what Fenneko's investment was.

As the afternoon waned into evening, Retsuko and Haida dug into the paperwork, wanting to get it done as quickly as possible. Retsuko would pull a file from the pile, go over it, mark and correct any wrong calculations, write down the accountant's name, sign it, and hand it off to Haida, who would go over it a second time with his equally skilled accountant eyes, and then go file it away as needed.

The system worked, halving the work and catching each other's mistakes to ensure less error. The pair had been working together like this for years in some form, and knew what to do easily.

Finally at around midnight, the final file had been gone over and put away. Haida was seated next to Retsuko, signing off on the workload, advertising his assistance as was protocol.

After the red panda signed her final paper for the night, she breathed out hard, tossed her pencil across the room, and dropped her face onto the big desk.

Haida, still going over his own paperwork, looked down at the back of her head.

"You okay there?"

Retsuko's voice was muffled as she spoke, not even bothering to lift her head.

"I had no idea," she groaned, "that Ton did so much."

Haida nodded.

"I know. Kind of gives you a new perspective on him, doesn't it?"

Retsuko, still not raising her head, spoke through the desk once more.

"I hope it's not always like this."

Haida patted the back of her head with his free hand, putting a finishing touch on his last paper with the other. He dropped his pencil and also breathed out, stretching his arms above his head. His back popped a little from being hunched over papers for so long.

"I'm done finally. Let's get this squared away and go home. We still have to come back in tomorrow."

Retsuko groaned once more and brought her face up, looking at him.

"Let's get a quick bite to eat first," she said, "I'm really tired and hungry."

"Me too."

The walk home was long that evening, as the buses had stopped running for the night. As the two walked, Retsuko began to feel more and more tired. The beer and noodles they had shared on the way home only made her feel sleepier.

The couple talked as they made their way.

"How do you do it, Haida?"

The tall hyena looked down at his mate.

"Do what?"

Retsuko looked up at him. His eyes looked tired and his right ear, still in its bandage, drooped a little despite the brace that held it up.

"Be so patient? How come you haven't gotten aggravated and quit yet?"

Haida tucked his hands into his leather jacket and moved closer to her, casually offering his elbow, as he had done so many times before.

Retsuko took it, reaching up and wrapping her arm around his and leaning against him as they walked.

"I just kind of ignore it. Like, not neglect my job ignore it, but just kind of see it as something to do during the day. I get paid for it, and as long as I get left alone I'm just fine. As to being patient, you kind of learn to be when you have 5 older siblings and busy parents trying to manage them all. You learn to wait and be quiet. You know you'll get your turn eventually."

Haida looked down at her and Retsuko nodded and leaned against him a little more.

"I am so tired..." she murmered.

"Me too sweetheart. We're not too far from home, now. How about I carry you?"

Retsuko loved it when he did that but at the same time she was quite proud and didn't like to ask, and Haida knew it. She cast a slightly annoyed "are you serious" look up at him.

"I don't mind, Tsuko, and I know you like it, so why not let me?"

Retsuko gave a small nod, looking down.

Haida bent down and with practiced ease scooped her up in his arms. Shifting around a little bit for a better grip, Retsuko buried her fingers in the small amount of ruff that stuck out of his shirt and laid her head on his shoulder. Feeling protected, she was already beginning to doze off as she felt the gentle rhythm of her boyfriend's steps as he started walking again.

Haida hummed a little tune to her as they walked. As he felt Retsuko begin to breathe regularly and fall still, his heart grew both sad and happy at the same time.

Would it always be like this, this couple's life filled with such idyllic moments? The sad and realistic part of his heart said no, that things could and possibly would change. For the bad, maybe? The thought of that frightened him. He hugged Retsuko a little closer to him, and prayed he would never lose her. He would be willing to anything to keep her.

Retsuko was fully asleep by now, and the happy part of his heart told him that not only was she his girlfriend and the love of his life, she was also his best friend. That was a double whammy on the relationship front-an extra form of glue between them. He knew she loved him, and that was all he needed to know.

Retsuko sighed and dug her fingers into his ruff a little harder without realizing it. Home was now around the corner.

He began nudging her to wake her up.

"Tsuko, we're almost home, darlin."

Retsuko brought her head up and blinked the sleep from her eyes. When she saw him staring at her she flushed, the pink around her ears and nose turning a slightly darker shade.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Haida set her down.

"I didn't mind," he said,"I actually thought it was kind of cute."

"Ha ha."

They rounded the corner to the apartment building, and Haida continued to tease her.

"You really are cute," he said, looking down at her and giving her a gentle, playful nudge,"you're like a fluffy little pillow I can snuggle into."

"Oh stop, I'm not cute." Retsuko was smiling a little all the same, and Haida caught it. He pointed at her as they walked, laughing quietly as he spoke.

"You're smiling, you know you're cute!"

Stifling another smile, Retsuko let them into the complex and Haida let them into the apartment, where they immediately went to bed, Haida cuddling her like a small fluffy pillow, to her great chagrin.

Part 58: Weekend

The week wore on, wearing both Retsuko and Haida out, bringing great anticipation of the glory of the weekend.

Haida opened his eyes. The first thing that met them was the sight of the back of Retsuko's head. She was turned away from him and in a fetal position and snoring gently, but still cuddled against him like usual. In his sleep his arm and shoulder had found themselves a place over her shoulder, so his position had almost covered her like a blanket.

Haida stayed still, enjoying the quiet. He liked mornings like this, being able to simply to calm his mind and not think about anything in particular.

He realized he needed to get up and stretch; the whole right side of his body was starting to hurt from laying in one position for so long. Slowly, he moved his arm away from Retsuko and slowly turned over onto his back. He didn't want to wake his mate up. It was about 9:30 in the morning, and she deserved the sleep; it had been a rough week for her, especially yesterday.

She'd had to officially write Komiya up and call for his dismissal to HR. He hadn't shown up all week without a word or excuse and it was company policy to report things like that to HR. Even despite the fact she hadn't liked Komiya she hadn't wanted to do it and she'd cried when they had gotten home.

Haida slowly sat up and moved his legs over the side of the bed. He sat for a moment, letting the feeling come back into his legs before he stood lest he fall. Glancing back over his shoulder, he checked to see if Retsuko was stirring. She was still fast asleep. Nodding inwardly, he slowly stood, feeling the popping of his spine and a slight twinge in his hip, a precursor to getting older.

The apartment was very quiet as he trod barefoot down the hall to the bathroom to wash his face off and then to the kitchen for coffee. He had always been able to get up easily and hit the ground running; it had been ingrained in him from day one as a farm cub. Retsuko had remarked on it many times. That was one place where the two differed- he tended to be more of a morning creature, she tended to pick up energy wise in the afternoon and evening.

Haida sipped his coffee and continued to enjoy the quiet and isolation. He loved Retsuko to death, and he would be willing to go to hell and back barefoot for her, but it was still nice to get some alone time every once in a while.

As he settled on the couch, coffee in hand, his phone pinged from its place on the counter where it had been charging.

The hyena let out an exasperated sigh, as he had just gotten comfortable. Setting his coffee down on the coffee table in front of him, he got up again, and, grumbling, unplugged it and brought it back over to the couch with him. He plopped back down with a sigh.

It was a text from Kirk.

- HEY LITTLE BROTHER.

Haida stared at the message, a little thrilled and a little irritated. Kirk really was trying to mend fences but at the same time Haida was still a bit hurt and a tiny bit angry about how his big brother had treated him for so long and how he'd beaten him up. He'd forgiven Kirk because of his state of mind during all that time, but that didn't make the hurt from all that suddenly go away.

Haida texted back.

- HEY KIRK, HOW GOES IT?

There was a moment of visual silence, then the bubbles at the top of the screen started bouncing, showing Kirk was writing something.

- EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE. MAMA AND PA ARE DOING WELL AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI AND SEE HOW YOU WERE DOING.

Haida smiled a little at the message. He knew his brother well and knew this wasn't just a false attempt to make nice. Kirk was genuinely concerned about him. He took a sip of coffee and typed back.

- I'M GOOD. DRINKING SOME COFFEE ON THE COUCH AND TALKING TO YOU. RETSUKO IS STILL ASLEEP. SHE'S HAD IT ROUGH. SHE GOT PROMOTED TO DIRECTOR AND IT'S TAKING A LOT OUT OF HER.

The bubbles bounced again.

-TELL HER WE'RE ALL PROUD OF HER HERE. I JUST TOLD THE FAMILY AND WE'RE ALL ROOTING FOR HER. SHE'S SMART, I'M SURE SHE'LL FIGURE IT OUT ONCE SHE GETS USED TO IT.

Haida texted once again.

- IF I KNOW HER AS WELL AS I THINK I DO, SHE'LL START TO OVERWORK HERSELF. I'M WORRIED ABOUT THAT.

The bubbles bounced once more.

- IF THAT HAPPENS, YOU GUYS COME UP HERE FOR A VACATION, NO QUESTIONS. OVERWORK CAN MAKE YOU SICK. BY THE WAY, MAMA IS ASKING WHEN YOU'RE COMING UP. SPRING IS HERE IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS. MAYA IS ALSO ASKING ME

The bubbles suddenly started bouncing again.

- HEY BABY BROTHER, IT'S MAYA. HAS RETSUKO OPENED THAT BOX I GAVE HER YET?

Haida felt himself sweating a little. They had both completely forgotten about it in the tumult of moving, promotions, and general life things. He texted back.

- I'M REALLY SORRY MAYA BUT NO, SHE HASN'T. THINGS HAVE BEEN SO BUSY HERE WE FORGOT ABOUT IT.

The bubbles bounced rapidly.

- I'M REALLY DISAPPOINTED. I WAS HOPING SHE'D OPEN IT BY NOW. WHY DON'T YOU DO IT? IT WAS FOR HER BUT IT CONCERNS BOTH OF YOU.

Puzzled and surprised, Haida texted back once again, with Maya coming back quickly.

-WHAT, NOW?

-YES, NOW.

- BUT IT'S HERS.

-YOU CAN STILL OPEN IT, JUST CLOSE IT BACK AND LET HER OPEN IT LATER.

-OK, MAYA.

Haida did as his older sister bid and crept back to the bedroom, looking for the backpack Retsuko had used during their trip to the farm. Unless she had taken the box out and moved it, it should still be in the backpack which was currently hanging on a hook in the closet.

Quietly opening the closet, he found it, sure enough, hanging on a hook off to the side. It was an old, red, rough thing with about a thousand pockets and zippers that Retsuko had used during college.

Creeping out of the bedroom again, Haida began to dig through its many pockets as he quietly walked down the hall, looking for Maya's gift.

His phone pinged impatiently once more on the coffee table as he walked into the room again.

-HAIDA?

- I'M LOOKING, GIVE ME A MINUTE.

Haida finally found the box in a large pocket in the inside of the main part of the backpack, down toward the bottom. He pulled it out carefully.

It was a rectangular box, with the dimensions and feeling of a small shoebox, complete with lid, judging by the way it felt. It was neatly wrapped in white paper and was slightly heavy, made of thick, sturdy cardboard. Haida recognized the style of box from his years with Maya. This was a doll box, only slightly bigger.

He sent another text.

-OPENING IT.

Haida couldn't help but feel a little excited. He liked surprises and now that he had remembered it, he was genuinely curious about what it could be. He carefully broke the tape on one end of the box, allowing him to carefully slide the box out of the wrapping without messing up the paper.

The box itself was also white, and the lid was taped shut to keep it from popping open.

Carefully breaking the tape around the edges, he opened the lid.

The first thing he saw was a layer of fancy, crinkly tissue paper. As he lifted it away, he let out a small gasp of surprise.

Inside the box was two dolls, a red panda and a hyena.

He pulled the hyena out first. It was a small version of himself, jointed and made of wood, complete with fake fur around the neck, head and tail. It even had his large snaggle teeth and white hands. It had a small stand so it could be set upright and positioned, and was dressed in a tiny, hand-stitched tuxedo.

Haida went completely red in embarrassment as he looked at the effigy. WHY had Maya made a doll like this?

He laid the small hyena doll down and examined the red panda. He had figured out by now it was supposed to be Retsuko since the hyena was himself.

The Retsuko doll was wrapped in more tissue paper with only the face exposed. As he carefully unwrapped it, his jaw dropped.

The Retsuko doll had fake fur around its face, ears, and tail, and was also jointed and included a stand. It was wearing a hand-stitched, long, white gown, with a soft pink crown of roses on its head.

The gown itself had short cap sleeves and was also adorned with a bundle of small pink roses and a wide ribbon at the waist, ending with a bow in the back that trailed to the bottom of the skirt. As a final touch, the skirt was fluffed out nicely by more soft white petticoats underneath, giving the gown a floaty appearance, like a cloud. The feet had small pink shoes on, and it held a bouquet of pink and white roses in its small hands.

Haida flushed even harder as he looked at the red panda doll, and it made him shake for some reason.

Laying it down next to the hyena, he picked up his phone and called Maya's phone.

The phone rang a couple of times and then he heard his sister's voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey Maya. Um, I don't know what to say about those dolls. They're really pretty. I'm sure Retsuko will love them. Thanks."

"You know what they are, don't you?" his sister snickered over the line.

Part of Haida's brain knew what they were, but the other parts held it back from getting the mental spotlight.

"Uhhhm, just something pretty as a gift?" he ventured.

"Nope. They're something that you guys can use later on."

Haida paused, brainlocked.

"How?"

Maya started laughing hard.

"Think about it for a while and call me back."

Maya hung up, still laughing.

Haida stared at the well-dressed dolls on the table. How on earth could he and Retsuko use these in the future?

He thoughtfully began packing the dolls away in their box again, pondering all the while what Maya was getting at. He slid the box back into the wrapping paper and set it on the coffee table for Retsuko to find when she got up. Maybe she would have an idea what Maya meant by that.

Haida sat back on the couch with his coffee again, his mind slipping back into silence and solitude.

Suddenly the spotlight in his brain came back on and he started coughing and sputtering on his sip of coffee, realizing what Maya had been getting at and what the purpose of the dolls were.

Part 59: Dolls

Haida immediately called Maya back.

"Hello?" Maya's voice sounded amused.

Haida's voice was not so amused, sounding nervous.

"Um, Maya, were you serious about these things or-or is this some sort of a joke?"

"What, the dolls?"

Haida stood and began pacing a little bit, slightly agitated about being put on the spot over what was to him a touchy matter.

"No, our coffee mugs," he said, embarrassed, "of course I mean the dolls. Those are wedding cake toppers, aren't they?"

He could sense Maya grinning impishly on the other end of the line.

"I was wondering how long it would take you. Yes, they are. And no, they aren't a joke. You guys are going to get married within a couple of years, I can stake my thumbs on it."

Haida blushed hard, going into brainlock once again. The decision he had made at the farm that night still stood, but it frightened him to death for it to be thrown into such sharp relief, plus he found it creepy how his sister had found out his feelings for Retsuko in that way even though he hadn't told a soul.

He also didn't like the fact that it felt like Maya was pressuring him, and he told her so.

He stood for a moment, calming himself. He felt like he wanted to run and hide, cry, be irritated and feel flattered all at the same time. He pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead, concentrating on not saying the wrong thing.

"M-Maya, I...appreciate the support and camaraderie about my relationship with Retsuko, and I'm glad you like her, but, I think when it comes to me eventually proposing to Retsuko, you should step back and not push me. I will do it, definitely, I'm just not ready for it yet.

Why didn't you tell me what was in the box? Did you not consider my feelings on something like that as well instead of just hers? I mean, I would be getting ma..."

His voice hitched for a moment.

"...doing that too, not just her."

Maya's voice sounded sort of chastened now and she spoke quickly, trying to salvage the situation.

"Oh, Haida! I...I had no idea you felt that way, and I am so sorry to put that on you. I jumped the gun and I shouldn't have."

She paused for a moment, this time speaking more slowly.

"It's just...that you two go so well together and you've been together so long...I don't want to see you guys split up, it would destroy everyone. I was just trying to maybe give you two a nudge in the right direction, and I guess I obviously went about it the wrong way. I am so sorry!"

Haida nodded to no one in particular.

"Hello?"

"I'm here, Maya."

His sister sounded depressed now.

"You're not mad at me, are you?"

Haida paused. Was he mad? He honestly didn't know how to feel.

He slowly sat back down on the edge of the couch, leaning on his knees. He shook his head, still holding his phone to his ear.

"No, sis, I'm not mad. Just kind of gobsmacked. I want to propose, but like I said, I'm not ready yet, and when I am, I'll tell you, okay? Please don't push, through gifts or otherwise."

Maya sounded relieved as she spoke.

"Okay, Haida. Can I offer some advice, though? Speaking as someone who's been in love?"

"Of course."

Maya sighed over the line.

"Don't wait too long. She's a rare gem of a female in a world of gravel. She's kind, she's intelligent, and caring. She loves you-that's the most important thing. SHE LOVES YOU. But if you aren't careful, you'll start to take her for granted and possibly lose her. Another creature will see her and try to take her away, and they could be successful. Lock it down while you can."

Her voice lowered.

"Take it from me, baby brother, I know from personal experience."

"You're still smarting over what happened with Izumi, huh?"

Maya sounded resigned.

"In more ways than you know, and that was 11 years ago. The pain of something like that never stops, Haida. It might hurt less over time, but it never goes away. I'm trying to spare you that pain when it comes to Retsuko. Please hear me."

Haida's emotions immediately changed, from irritation and embarrassment to fear, pensiveness, and understanding.

"Thanks, sis, I understand now."

He paused, thinking.

"Tell you what, I'll keep the dolls but I'll put them up somewhere safe. Retsuko seems to have forgotten about the box anyway. When the time comes I'll get them out and surprise her."

Maya sounded relieved.

"Excellent."

Awkward silence.

"So, when are you coming back up in spring? Mama and Pa can't wait to see you again."

After he'd gotten off the phone with Maya, Haida began searching for a hiding place for the box. Yes, he did plan to propose (eventually, at some point, when he got up the nerve, finally) but as he had told Maya, not right now. The dolls would be a surprise.

He found a place on top of one of the kitchen cabinets, way in the back. It was perfect. Retsuko was far too short to reach up there, even with a stepstool, and she couldn't see it from her angle on the floor, also thanks to her diminutive size.

It was now about 11:00, and Haida began nudging his mate to wake her up. If she slept too late, she wouldn't sleep at night and would wind up getting her days and nights turned around.

He knelt by the bed and gave her a gentle nudge on the shoulder.

"Tsuko. Hey, Tsuko, it's time to wake up, sweetheart."

Retsuko opened her eyes and closed them again, not wanting to. The sleep she had been so enjoying kept overtaking her.

Haida nudged her again.

"Tsuuukooo."

Finally the sleep that held her there let go, and she opened her eyes, her brain finally fully registering that Haida was there.

"Hey."

"Hey."

He stroked her cheek.

"Is there coffee?" she mumbled, taking his hand.

"Yep."

"Okay, let me up, please."

As Retsuko sipped her coffee on the couch, she found herself already beginning to make plans for work on Monday. There was still that leftover paperwork from dismissing Komiya, and the finalizing of the reports on the Company's biggest clients. There was also-

"Tsuko!"

She caught the movement of Haida's hand waving in front of her face and came out of her thoughts. She looked over at him, slightly startled.

"Are you okay?" he said, "you were suddenly gone while I was talking to you."

"Sorry...sorry, what were we talking about?"

Haida gave her a tiny frown.

"I was talking about going back up to the farm in a couple of weeks, and asking if we could take time off to do that and if you wanted to."

Retsuko focused on him, concentrating.

"Oh sure, yeah, we can totally do that. It'll have to be in about 3 weeks, though, because I have to put in the paperwork and have it approved and all that stuff."

Haida sat back and just stared at her for a moment. Retsuko could tell he was trying to find a way to say something. His ears always laid in a certain way and his eyes would set in a certain manner when he did that.

"Tsuko, I understand you want to take care of everyone in the office, and I'm really grateful for you doing that, but it's only been a week and you're already starting to worry a little too much about your job. You were thinking about dismissing Komiya and those reports, weren't you?"

Retsuko took a long drink of her coffee.

"Yes I was. But it was only a few passing thoughts so I could coordinate on Monday. That's all."

"Looked like more than a few passing thoughts," he said, "You were gone."

"I didn't mean to be," she grumped, put on the spot.

Haida leaned forward and put his hand on her back, looking at her.

"Sweetheart, listen to me- I'm not speaking as just your boyfriend right now, I'm speaking to you as your best friend, whom you have known for years and has your best interests at heart. I know you too well, and I can already tell you're going to overwork yourself, and that makes me worried.

Try to leave work at work and just come home and relax with your boyfriend, who loves you."

Retsuko nodded but in her mind she knew that was unlikely going to happen. There was too much on her figurative plate and she felt she wouldn't be being responsible for her position if she let it go to pot.

She changed the subject.

"That bandage comes off your ear tomorrow, doesn't it?"

The weekend passed with the pair simply staying home and relaxing, Haida playing video games and pondering his situation, and Retsuko watching him, listening to her death metal and pondering her own.

Part 60: Call of Duty: Office Warfare

Monday came around once again, with Retsuko and Haida doing their usual routine of wake up, shower, breakfast, and pep-talks to each other. It was almost like they had always done this, like they always been in each other's lives, like there had been nothing before their couplehood but empty space and they just been born into it.

The couple enjoyed it because it meant that there was nothing bad going on and they could just live their lives comfortably. For the most part.

The office that morning was its usual busy self, with creatures still feeling the freedom to actually talk a bit more since the fall of Ton. The loud murmer of intermingled voices was simply background noise to Retsuko now, and in a way it made her happy because everyone felt at ease enough under her to do that.

Things were finally different for Retsuko herself as well. Her new chair had arrived and I.T. had gotten the new computer set up for her on her big desk. She was now able to sit up there and work properly.

The main problem now was her feet dangled. She solved that by stacking some full printer paper boxes under the desk to rest her feet on and help her get up and down without looking like a cub.

Haida had gone the previous day and had the bandage removed from his ear. He could now lift it somewhat, and Dr. Quill had advised him to exercise it a few times a day to strengthen the muscle back up.

Retsuko glanced over at him from her desk, taking a moment to rest her eyes from her new computer screen.

He was seated at his own desk, like normal, with his face and mind once again buried in his calculations. But at the same time he was moving his ear back and forth and up and down, exercising it.

When it reached the point of exhaustion, she could see Haida wince slightly and let it down to rest against the side of his head. Retsuko had gotten the impression that he would never really regain normal, full use of his ear, but at least he could now raise it and move it around enough to allow him to at least hear and express himself properly again.

Retsuko turned back to her computer and began once again going over the documents and accounts that demanded her attention that day.

Her mind soon became absorbed in the numbers she was working with, and she managed to tune out the hum of the office to the point that she went into Accountant Mode and nothing else was around her but the work in front of her.

Her reverie was interrupted by the loud SMACK of a thick folder hitting her desk.

She jumped and gave surprised gasp, turning around in her chair to see who the noise belonged to.

It was Tsunoda, leaning on Retsuko's desk, and she was looking fit to be tied.

Her normally large, sweet dewey eyes were narrowed into slits, glaring at her from above her button nose, which was now wrinkled from her cute little mouth being curled into an angry snarl.

Retsuko was even more surprised to see that Tsunoda had small sharp fangs.

"Uhhh, Tsunoda, can...I help...you?" she said haltingly.

The doe just looked at her for a moment, and tapped the folder on the desk furiously.

"I can't believe you did this Retsuko!" Her voice was shrill and loud as she addressed the red panda.

Creature's heads went up all over office, all looking towards the Director's Desk to see what the drama was.

"Did what? I don't understand."

Tsunoda tapped the folder a little faster.

"You! Fired! Him! You fired Komiya without even checking on him to see what was wrong with him!"

Retsuko didn't like being yelled at like this, but still tried to keep her calm because she didn't know what was going on at the moment.

"Tsunoda, please lower you voice. I don't know why you're upset, and I can't help you if you keep yelling like this."

Tsunoda leaned forward a little more, lowering her voice as she got closer to Retsuko. It was now a low growl.

"Komiya has just lost his job because of you."

Retsuko took a pencil out of the cup next to her computer and began turning it over in her hands, concentrating on what she was saying.

"Tsunoda, I'm not sure why it matters to you, and its obvious it does, but I had to let him go because he refused to call or show up for over a week. It's company policy and I'm really sorry I had to do it."

Tsunoda' s jaw dropped at Retsuko's response, her cute face still angry.

"How can you be so heartless, Retsuko? Didn't you know that he had a family to take care of? His grandmother is super old and lives with him and he has a cub. Maybe you'd know that if you'd taken the time to get to know him."

Retsuko slapped the pencil down on her desk, her temper creeping out.

"How dare you judge me like that, Tsunoda? All I ever saw of him was as a yes-man to Ton. He never tried to get to get to know me, and all he wanted to do was judge me. Despite that, contrary to what you think, I did not want to let him go. He was a good accountant here, I lost a valuable employee when he left, and I know a job is important in this day and age for survival, so don't go calling me heartless! I cried when I got home over this, for Pete's sake!"

Tsunoda looked at her and whispered quietly:

"Did you ever call him personally to see what was wrong with him, or did you just go with your precious company policy? Seems to me like you just didn't like him."

Retsuko's jaw dropped now. Her eyes then narrowed as well.

"You think I'm that petty, Tsunoda? That I'd fire someone because I didn't like them?"

Tsunoda fired back.

"How would YOU like it if the CEO stepped up suddenly and fired YOUR boyfriend and left him and his family without a pot to go in? You'd think differently about your company policy then, wouldn't you? But only if it concerned you. You don't care about anyone else."

"What??"

A moment of realization burst through Retsuko's mind.

"Wait, wait, wait, you and Komiya are da-"

Tsunoda turned on her heel and started to walk away, point made, and Retsuko stopped her.

"Tsunoda, what happened with him, and where did you get this file??"

Tsunoda turned and gave her a burning glare.

"Ask him yourself. And Tsubone gave that to me. She's the only ally I have on this right now."

She turned and walked away in a huff.

Retsuko quickly turned her head and looked in the direction of Tsubone's cubicle to see the lizard's eyes and the top of her head quickly lower, disappearing behind the cubicle wall.

Retsuko laid her ears back angrily. Tsubone had overstepped her boundaries in a major way in an attempt to make trouble, and it had to be dealt with.

Still holding the file, Retsuko marched over and entered the lizard's cubicle, ready for another confrontation.

Tsubone was curled up in her chair, typing something into her computer, looking as innocent and innocuous as could be.

"Tsubone, we have to talk."

The old lizard turned her chair around so she faced Retsuko, looking at her sweetly.

"Well, Miss Director, what brings you here?"

"Don't play innocent and sweet, Tsubone, I know what you did. This file," Retsuko held it up, "and others like it are not supposed to be looked at by other employees except for the higher-ups such as me and higher due to confidentiality laws.

You've severely overstepped your boundaries on this by showing it to Tsunoda. You know as well as I do how talkative she is and how she likes to spread rumors."

Retsuko pointed at her.

"You did that to try and undermine me. You used her, and that's a nasty, dirty thing to do."

Tsubone's tongue flicked out and in as she thought.

"I merely showed it to her because I felt she had to know due to their relationship. Not that you would know about that since you never take time to get to know anyone here."

Retsuko felt her face and ears turning red due to her temper flaring again.

"That's not the point, Tsubone. The fact is that you violated confidentiality rules with this, and I could easily fire you right now. But I won't because I know you need to survive and to do that you need a job.

This is, however," Retsuko raised the file again to bring emphasis to her point,"your last chance. I won't have you deliberately causing trouble in this office just to get back at me because of some petty beef you have."

"You can't fire me, I've been here too long."

Retsuko held up her phone.

"I have pictures of all that dirt you were digging up that day on everyone. All I have to do is show them to the CEO and everyone here."

Tsubone's jaw dropped, her eyes grew big and she began stammering.

"I-I-I..."

Retsuko strode out of the cubicle back to her desk, feeling both upset and triumphant at the same time. She heard an aggravated snarl and the thump of a hand from the cubicle as she sat down.

She now had a phone call to make and an apology to deliver.

Part 61: A rock and hard place

Retsuko explained everything to Haida as they rode the bus home that evening. They had mutually decided that it was easier and more relaxing to do that in the evening after work than deal with the crush of the subway twice a day.

"I was wondering what was going on over at your desk," he said, "but I figured you could handle it and if you couldn't you'd call me."

"I appreciate the support, dear."

Haida looked genuinely hurt for a moment and he leaned away and glanced over at her, not realizing she was being serious and not sarcastic.

Seeing his look, Retsuko gave his arm a small hug and reassured him.

"I'm serious, thank you for believing in me that I can handle things. I wasn't being mean."

Haida smiled a little bit, relieved.

"So, what are you going to do about Komiya?" he asked.

Retsuko leaned on him in her seat, tired and still hugging his arm. She yawned as she spoke.

"I guess I'll give him a call tomorrow and find out what happened with him and possibly offer him his job back. I mean, what else can I do? Tsunoda went about it the wrong way, but she had a valid point about me not checking on him. I should have done that to begin with. Plus, he's got a family to support."

Haida laid his chin on top of her head and looked out the bus window, watching the city lights go by.

"That's really sweet of you, panda. Just be careful about being too nice. Sometimes creatures will take advantage of that, unfortunately."

"Like Tsubone?"

Haida felt his eyes drooping a little, comfortably enrobed in Retsuko's scent as it surrounded his nose.

"Mmm hmm."

Retsuko continued ruminating.

"I gave Tsubone one chance or else I'll go to the CEO about the confidentiality rules she's broken. I don't want to have to fire her either, but she's becoming a troublemaker."

"mmm hmmm..."

"Haida?"

A small, sleepy sound met her ears.

Retsuko smiled a little and, with Haida's head still balanced on hers, leaned back against her seat, allowing him to take a brief nap on the way home.

The next day at work would prove to be just as difficult for Retsuko as the previous. She would have to call Komiya and make things right, or at least try to. As she typed away on her work computer, she kept catching herself glancing over at the phone on her desk. She then realized she would no longer have Komiya's number because he had been fired and was no longer in the system.

Retsuko lowered her head and sighed deeply. She would have to get the number from a source she really didn't want to have to visit.

"Tsunoda?" she called.

At first there was no answer but then a work memo popped up on her computer with a bing. It was from Tsunoda's computer.

-WHAT, RETSUKO?

Retsuko typed back. Maybe it was better to do it this way.

-TSUNODA, YOU BROUGHT UP VALID POINTS YESTERDAY, I AM GOING TO TRY TO CALL KOIMIYA. DO YOU HAVE HIS NUMBER?

There was silence for several minutes, then another bing.

- ARE YOU GOING TO HIRE HIM BACK??

-DEPENDS ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH HIM.

Another moment's silence then another bing.

-MEET ME IN THE BREAKROOM.

Retsuko's brow furrowed. Was it so bad that Tsunoda felt it had to be told in secrecy?

-OKAY.

When break time rolled around around, Retsuko found Tsunoda sitting at the table by the window where she, Haida, and Fenneko usually met during the day.

Haida and Fenneko were sitting a few tables away and waved and gestured her over as Retsuko went by. She waved back and then motioned at Tsunoda's table and rolled her eyes. Her friends both nodded, looking confused.

Retsuko walked over and sat down across from Tsunoda, who simply looked at her for a moment, then pulled a piece of paper from the pocket of her skirt and slid it over to Retsuko's side.

"Here's his new number. I'm not sure if he'll want to talk to you after what happened with you two. I haven't said anything about what happened with him because I respect his privacy, but in this case I think I can make an exception.

He has family issues."

Retsuko studied Tsunoda's face for a moment, expecting her to go on, and when she didn't, Retsuko nudged the subject forward a little bit.

"Um...what kind of issues?"

Tsunoda leaned forward a little, lowering her voice.

"He and his father are estranged, and the old meerkat was on his deathbed and wanted to see him. So he had to leave on the double to go be with him. Like leave that morning on the double. It's a really touchy issue for him."

Retsuko sat back in her chair, hands resting on the table, listening. As Tsunoda finished, Retsuko spoke again.

"So why didn't he tell me he had to leave? Why didn't you? If you were dating you could have told me."

"I didn't say anything because like I said, I wanted to respect his privacy. Plus, he's very proud. He doesn't like to ask for help or tell creatures his business."

"So he just took off without telling anyone?"

"He was rather upset."

Retsuko leaned forward and put her elbows on the table, lacing her fingers together. This whole thing sounded suspicious.

"So, he couldn't have called when he got there at least?"

Tsunoda kept her cool, but tapped her fingers on the tabletop as she spoke back.

"I know what you're thinking, this whole thing sounds suspicious and crazy, but I am telling the truth."

Her face flushed.

"His phone got cancelled at the time. That's why he has a new number now."

Retsuko laid her ears back and stood.

"Okay, Tsunoda, I've had enough of this."

"But..."

Retsuko put a palm up to Tsunoda as a barrier.

"It sounds too suspicious and your story has too many convenient things in it. You're his girlfriend so of course you're going to stick up for him. I'm sorry, but unless I have actual proof on paper, I can't hire him back based on words alone." I

Tsunoda stood and stopped Retsuko as she walked away, quickly placing a hand on the Director's shoulder. Retsuko turned back to her, and the doe sounded desperate, speaking quickly.

"What if I bring paperwork in as proof, or, or ask him to meet you somewhere with the paperwork? Like from where his phone got cancelled or his rent was overdue last week, or even a death certificate? Would you be willing to talk to him then? Please, I'm thinking about his family."

Retsuko simply looked at her, trying to find a hard place inside herself to say no. She was unable to find it.

"Please, Retsuko! I..I'd give Haida a chance if our positions were switched, because I know what it's like to have feelings for someone."

Tsunoda's eyes had grown large and dewy again, showing genuine, legitimate concern this time, not just for show or manipulation.

"Please..."

Retsuko simply looked at Tsunoda and sighed.

"Please, Retsuko..." Tsunoda whimpered.

Retsuko sighed again and nodded.

"Okay. I'll give him the benefit of a doubt, but only because of his family and the fact that you're willing to put yourself at risk like this. And yes, I would do the same thing that you have done here do Komiya for Haida if Ton were still here, so I understand where you're coming from."

Tsunoda looked surprised for a moment, and the suddenly gave Retsuko a hug, squealing the whole time.

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!"

Before Retsuko could say anthing else, Tsunoda let go and took off, pulling her phone out of her pocket and rapidly dialing someone.

Retsuko stood for a moment longer, feeling a bit flummoxed at what had just happened. As she stood pondering about what to think to herself about it, she heard her phone bing.

Turning, she checked her phone as she caught Haida laying his phone down on the table in front of him.

- IS EVERYTHING OK?

She touched Haida's ear as she walked over behind him to get to the extra seat, making him flinch a hair automatically.

"Everything is fine, guys. Just negotiating with Tsunoda about re-hiring Komiya. Did you know they were dating?"

Part 62: Won't The Real Komiya Please Stand Up (Part 1)

"I had absolutely no idea," said Fenneko, "especially I don't understand why someone as cute as Tsunoda would be willing to date a slimy hairball like Komiya."

"Maybe he's not so bad underneath," Retsuko said, making Fenneko sit back in surprise.

"Tsunoda likes him, so he must have some form of redeeming quality," Haida said, taking a sip of his water bottle.

"Love is blind," Retsuko said quietly.

"Ain't that the truth, just look at you loving ugly ol' me." Haida leaned over next to him and gave Retsuko a playful side bump with his elbow.

She caught herself from falling off her chair and gave him a tiny shove back, her temper flaring a bit at him and what he'd just said.

"Haida, I really wish you wouldn't say things like that about yourself. You've done that as long as I've known you. If you keep saying that stuff about yourself you'll really start to believe it. I keep telling you you're handsome to me and you won't believe me."

"Okay, okay..."

Haida turned his head away sheepishly, rolled his eyes, and laid his ears back in embarrassment at being gotten onto.

Fenneko laughed her little monotone laugh at the couple's dynamic.

"Hahahahahhahah.I guess I know who rules in this relationship."

"Ha ha, Fenn," Haida shot back. "Who rules in your relationship with Manumaru?"

Fenneko's face flushed to the point that the white fur on her face turned a light shade of pink.

She called Haida's bluff, as she knew he was expecting her to deny it in order to mess with her.

"I tend to rule. Point taken. Sorry."

"So you admit it?" Retsuko started to chuckle.

"Admit what?"

"That you, the a-sexual fox I've known for years, is in a legitimate, normal, loving relationship with a creature other than yourself?"

Fenneko sat for a moment, looking at her friend. She was actually finding it difficult to say what she wanted to.

"Yes," she mumbled, looking down.

Retsuko and Haida both started laughing.

"This is why I didn't say anything..." She mumbled again.

Retsuko took the lead.

"Fenn, we're not laughing at you. We're happy for you. We just find it amusing that someone that's such a hard case as yourself has finally found someone."

"It wasn't without trial and error. He kept asking and talking to me. Thats why he was coming over here to accounting so often.

He finally got me to go out with him by challenging me to a drinking game. If I won, he'd leave me the hell alone. If he won, he got to take me out. He won."

Fenneko shook her head.

"Man, that guy can hold his liquor."

Haida took another drink from his water bottle, eyeing Fenneko as he did so.

"I bet he totally went and threw up after he won. Alcohol tends to hurt the stomach in large amounts."

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Fenneko said, referring to Haida's tendency to overdrink.

"Ha ha, smartass. No, what I'm saying is that creatures will sometimes go to great lengths to impress those they care about or are interested in in that sense. Manumaru probably held onto it until he was sure he'd won a date with you. If he's willing to undergo stomach pain and drunk-sickness just to impress you then he's serious about you."

Retsuko nodded and patted Haida's hand, impressed at his insight.

"Okay, thank you, guys."

Fenneko stood and pulled her phone from her pocket.

"I have to go communicate. I'll see you guys out on the work floor."

As Fenneko walked away, Haida leaned over and gave his mate a peck on cheek.

"Sorry to piss you off."

"It's okay, it just bothers me when you talk like that. You're not ugly to me."

"Thanks, panda."

As Retsuko walked back to her big desk after break was over, she overheard Tsunoda arguing with someone on her phone by the water cooler and she stopped to listen, despite the fact that she knew she was being nosy and rude by eavesdropping.

The conversation was heated and one-sided, but Retsuko deduced who she was talking to by the subject matter.

"No, Komi."

Tsunoda listened for a moment.

"Now listen-"

She stopped as Komiya spoke and cut her off on the other end. She then raised her own voice, and it had a growl underneath it.

"LISTEN KOMI. She just wants to set things right and, oh, maybe, GIVE YOU YOUR JOB BACK. How can you possibly pass this up??"

Tsunoda fell quiet again and listened as Komiya apparently spoke on the other end.

She spoke into the phone again, this time sounding quite angry.

"You're a fool, you know that? A proud, proud fool. I go to the trouble of sticking my neck out for you and your family and try to help you get your job back and this is how you act? I love you, Komi, but I don't like you very much right now."

Komiya said something loudly on the other end, and Tsunoda snarled and hung up. She then promptly began to rapidly text.

"Tsunoda, is everything okay?" Retsuko said, still in her place of hearing.

Tsunoda continued texting as she spoke.

"No, Retsuko, it's not."

"What's wrong?" Retsuko ventured.

Tsunoda looked up and Retsuko could see her small fangs sticking out over her bottom lip. The tiny doe was quite angry again.

"It's Komiya. He's not willing to give you the time of day. I keep telling him to put his family first and swallow his damned pride but he won't listen. Why don't males ever listen??"

Tsunoda slapped her phone against the watercooler jug, making it give a hard bloop sound.

Just that one sound was enough to break the tension and set both females to start laughing ridiculously.

By the time they were finished laughing 5 minutes later, both were doubled over and breathing hard, and Tsunoda was hanging onto Retsuko's shoulder.

"Okay, okay, I'll try to talk to him again," Tsunoda gasped to the water jug, setting them both off again.

"Yeah, that water jug didn't do anything to you," Retsuko laughed.

"It was in the way of my phone."

The laughing fit was giving way to small giggles, and finally the two settled down enough to know to get back to work.

"Why don't YOU try calling him, Retsuko? Tsunoda asked as she walked away to her desk. "I've given you his number and everything."

"I think I will, if he's going to be this stubborn, just on principal."

"Yeah, you do that."

The rest of the afternoon consisted of Retsuko battling with herself to call Komiya. One part of her screamed not to, that it was his business and she should leave him alone, and the other part of her screamed back that sje should totally try to call him and make an effort to talk and set things straight.

Retsuko caught herself picking up her desk phone reciever and putting it down, picking it up and putting it down. The sensible part of her said no, what was done was done, and that was it, that it was out of her hands now.

The other part of her, the rebel, the part that rebelled against such ways of thinking, told her that she needed to call him, otherwise she'd never be able to face Tsunoda again.

Retsuko finally decided if she didn't at least try to reach out, then she felt she wouldn't be being responsible in her position and fail someone, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

She picked up the receiver and dialed Komiya's number.

The phone rang once, twice, three times.

Finally someone picked up and the voice of a young male cub came over the line.

"Hello?"

"Hi there, I was wondering if I could talk to Mr. Komiya? Do you you know him?"

"Oh yeah, 'course I know him, he's my dad!"

Retsuko smiled at that. It just sounded so cute.

"It is okay if I talk to your dad, son? I'm a friend of his."

Retsuko laid her ears back at her own statement, because it seemed to her that that couldn't be farther from the truth according to Komiya.

"Sure, what's your name? He doesn't have too many friends."

"Aah, um, Retsuko. What's your name?"

The cub's voice took on a different tone, much more serious this time.

"Hey, you're that lady that fired him, aren't you?"

"Well, I-"

The cub immediately began defending his father.

"He got really mad and sad after you fired him. He won't eat and says we might have to move because we don't have enough money. That was really mean of you to do that. He's really sad..."

The more the cub berated her the more guilty Retsuko felt.

"That's why I'm calling, son, I want to talk to him and see if he wants to come back. I made a mistake."

The cub stayed silent for a moment, then spoke.

"I'm glad you're trying to make my dad feel better. My name's Renato, by the way, I'll go get him!"

Retsuko heard the sound of the phone being put down and then the sound of Renato's voice a little farther away.

"Dad! Dad? That lady Retsuko's on the phone and she wants to talk to you!"

Retsuko cocked her ear into the receiver a little more, listening to the conversation as it took place.

A strange male voice she didn't recognize came drifting from the distance as well.

"Who?"

"It's a lady. Her name's Retsuko and she's on the phone and wants to talk to you."

The male voice got closer.

"Grrr. Tsunoda..."

Retsuko heard the sound of the phone being picked back up and realized whoever the voice belonged to might just hang it up. She loudly said things that might stop him.

"Komiya, I'm sorry! Tsunoda!"

The voice spoke into her ear, and it didn't sound at all like Komiya.

It sounded slightly deeper and smoother. Not like the high-pitched, simpering tone that she had gotten used to hearing from the meerkat at the department.

"Hello?" The voice said.

"Uhm, is...is this Komiya?" Retsuko said quickly, puzzled.

"This is he, Retsuko. What do you want?"

"Komiya, I know you probably don't want to talk to me, and I won't blame you if you dont, but I really hope you're willing to talk to me right now. I have a job offer for you, if you're willing to discuss it with me."

"Tsunoda put you up to this, didn't she?"

"Weelll, sheee helped..."

"Figured."

Retsuko knew how to make nice from her years of working with clients. One way to do that was food. So she tried the tactic.

"Komiya, how about we meet and discuss this over lunch tomorrow?"

"How about not?"

"May I ask why you seem so opposed to getting your job back," Retsuko smiled, then played her trump card, "With a promotion and a pay bump?"

Komiya stammered over the phone, tripping all over his words.

"Uhm, ah, I'm sorry?"

Retsuko repeated herself.

"A promotion and a pay bump."

Komiya sounded guarded.

"What kind?"

Retsuko smiled again to herself. She had him.

"That's why we need to meet for lunch tomorrow. There's things to negotiate and discuss, plus I told Tsunoda I wouldn't be able to bring you back without proper paperwork and proof of your situation. What so you say?"

She heard young Renato's voice chime in from a distance.

"Do it Dad, she's trying to fix a mistake and you'll be happy again!"

Komiya spoke back to his son.

"You're supposed to be doing your homework, young cub."

"Please, Dad, please? We won't have to move if you work again."

Retsuko could hear Komiya drumming his fingers on what sounded like a table for a moment, considering.

"Okay, I'll meet you for lunch to discuss this, but not for you. I'm doing this for my son."

"Excellent!" Retsuko could hardly hide the excitement in her voice. She had finally won him over.

"How about that restaurant and bar we used to go to for office parties?"

Part 63: Won't the real Komiya please stand up? (Part 2)

The next day Retsuko reported to the bar/restaurant, as they had agreed upon.

One reason she had chosen the place was because it was well known to them both as it was familiar to them, plus, she understood that it would be a form of a work setting and help set the mood for a job interview.She really hoped it would go well.

Retsuko settled at a booth, placing herself strategically near the front door so that Komiya would notice her easily when he came in.

The meeting was in half an hour, and Retsuko ordered herself a diet soda and scanned through the menu, thinking about what she would say to Komiya when she saw him again.

A simple hello and an invitation to sit down and eat would work. What to order? Best to let him order for himself, since he was so proud-but she'd take care of the bill, if he let her. What would he likely order, if anything?

Retsuko glanced at her phone again. 15 minutes had gone by and still no sign of Komiya.

She looked around at the creatures at the various booths and tables in the eating area. There was a trio of vixens in the corner enjoying what seemed to be a girl's day out, a bear sat in another booth nearby looking slightly tipsy with a half-eaten slice of pie and a glass of wine between his hands, and a couple of giraffes were seated at the bar partaking in a drinking game. No Komiya.

Retsuko was beginning to feel irritated, like Komiya had deliberately gone along with the appointment and missed it as a form of retaliation to make her look foolish.

As she looked around again, her phone binged.

-HEY DON'T YOU SEE ME?

It was from Komiya.

Retsuko turned her head in every direction, trying to find the location the meerkat. There weren't even any meerkats in the restaurant as far as she could see.

She texted back quickly.

-WHERE ARE YOU?

-OVER HERE, BY THE PLANTERS.

Retsuko looked over at the potted palm trees near the door and found herself surprised at how well she had overlooked the short meerkat sitting at a small table in their shadow.

He waved once, but didn't smile.

Retsuko texted once more.

-I HAVE A BIGGER TABLE HERE. WHY DONT WE HAVE SOME LUNCH AND DISCUSS THE MATTER AT HAND?

As Komiya walked across the restaurant to her table, Retsuko was amazed at how different he looked.

The only times she had ever seen him was at the office, dressed in a full suit, carefully groomed, and alert.

This Komiya was the opposite. He wore dirty sneakers and blue jeans, and his hands were stuffed into the front pocket of an old grey hoodie with Southern District University printed across the front. His fur was messy, his whiskers were in need of a slight trimming, and there were dark circles under his eyes, easily discernable from the brown fur coloring that normally surrounded them.

To Retsuko he also looked like he had lost a couple of pounds, probably from not eating, as Renato had said.

Komiya pulled out the chair across from her and settled in, folding his hands neatly on the tabletop.

"Well, Retsuko, I never expected this."

"That we would ever be in this situation?"

"Exactly."

Retsuko ordered some spicy vegetable ramen, and Komiya only ordered a bowl of noodles with sauce, which was what he could afford, as he flat out refused to let her pay for his meal.

As they ate and discussed the matter of his employment, Retsuko noticed that he was actually EATING, not just nibbling to be polite. Inside, Retsuko cringed a little bit and felt guiltier. She realized that he had been starving all this time because he was afraid of not being able to feed his son. That explained why he was thinner.

"Komiya, why didn't you tell me what happened when you left that day?"

The meerkat finished his meal and set his bowl aside, picking up his waterglass and taking a sip to rinse his mouth.

"Because I felt like it was my own business. I don't really care for other creatures besides those close to me to know about my life."

He lowered his water glass and stared at her.

"I wasn't expecting to get fired over it, though."

"I'm sorry Komiya," Retsuko stared back, "but you can't just up and leave your job without giving some sort of message as to why. You were gone for a week. I held off as long as could to try to give you a chance."

Komiya' s face softened and he looked embarrassed.

"I thank you for that. I'll admit it was irresponsible of me to do that."

"No kidding, Komiya. It doubled everyone's work load when you left."

Komiya lowered his gaze.

"I had a whole lot going on and I wasn't thinking straight."

"I understand."

Continuing the conversation, surprisingly, Komiya pulled out a file he'd had rolled up inside the pocket of his hoodie.

"This is the paperwork you asked for. Tsunoda got it together for me this morning before I did, and I had my marching orders from everyone to meet you here."

As Retsuko flipped though the papers, observing that Tsunoda was indeed telling the truth about Komiya's rent and phone bill being cancelled, and she brought up her confrontation with the doe at the department that day.

"You know, Tsunoda really does seem to care about you. She actually showed me fang, right there in the office. I didn't even know she HAD fangs."

Komiya started laughing and brushed some of his fur out of his eyes.

"She showed you her fangs!? Oh my gods, she DID mean business! She always keeps them hidden because they embarrass her."

"Why do they embarrass her so bad?"

Komiya leaned forward and lowered his voice.

"She's cute and she knows it, but she's convinced they make her look weird. Like she's disfigured."

Retsuko sat back, amazed at this revelation. She had found Tsunoda annoying, but as she spoke with Komiya and thought back about how Tsunoda had made the effort and self-defacing sacrifice to act cute and ditzy just to make Ton happy so he'd be nicer to everyone, she began to see the doe as more of an actual being with a soul rather than just a pesky co-worker.

The thought that Tsunoda actually had self-esteem issues about her teeth also made her seem more real.

"Don't tell her I told you about that. She'd kill me."

He took another drink of water.

Retsuko turned the last of the papers over as she finished reading them.

"It appears as though everything is okay. I would like to ask you if you want to come back as my Daytime Assistant."

Komiya coughed hard into his water glass as he sucked some of its contents into his windpipe in surprise.

"Assistant??"

Retsuko almost laughed out loud at the look on his face.

"Yes Komiya, Assistant. As in, Assistant Director. As in, you run things when I can't, and when you aren't, you'll be helping me handle paperwork and other matters in the department. You were the chief accountant there, so you know a thing or two about how things work. This will also give a pay bump of about 20%, with a possible raise at some point."

Komiya stared at her for a moment, slack-jawed, then shakily brought his hands down onto the table, being careful not to spill his water.

He seemed to think for a moment, then made a defeated gesture with his hands.

"O-of course, Miss Retsuko, thank you, so much. I accept."

Retsuko put out her hand, and they shook on it from across the table.

"By the way, Komiya, part of the job is just being yourself. Please don't be fawning all over me like you did with Ton."

Komiya looked really embarrassed at the statement.

"About that..."

Retsuko slid the papers back to him across the table.

"About what?"

Komiya looked pensive, staring down at the table, thinking.

"I owe you an apology for treating you badly all those years, especially now, with how kind you've been. That was a creature I call Office Komiya."

Retsuko just looked at him.

"Office...Komiya?"

The meerkat began to explain.

"That accounting job was one of the best, most well-paying jobs I've ever had. I've always had a hard time supporting my family, and the only things I could ever get before coming to work for the Company were labor jobs and things like that, which, obviously, I'm not physically cut out for."

He spread his arms so she could see his small frame.

"So, accounting was a total boon for me. I swore that i would do ANYTHING to keep it. I realized one day that the best way to do that was to get in tight with Ton, and, frankly, he was such an asshole he wanted an ass-kisser on the daily.

It made me sick to do it, but I became that ass-kisser. I made everyone hate me, because I hung around with the boss so much. When I would go home in the evening I would look in the bathroom mirror and be disgusted with the creature I saw looking back. But then i would look at Renato and think I could it for one more day."

This time Retsuko was slack-jawed. The words coming out of the meerkat' s mouth seemed alien to her. After all those years of seeing Komiya pandering to Ton and picking at her, it was very difficult to see him from this new angle.

Komiya saw the look on her face and smiled a little, seeming to enjoy the trick he had pulled for so long. He made a flourish with his hand.

"Acting!" He said theatrically, sounding just like the Komiya Retsuko had come know and loathe.

He switched back to his normal voice.

"Office Komiya was a scroungy little jerk, and I owe you a HUGE apology for him."

Retsuko just stared for a few moments, absorbing this.

"Well, ahh, w-well, apology accepted, Komiya. Hopefully we can turn over a new leaf, now."

"Thank you for understanding, Miss Retsuko. You don't know the number of times I wanted to throw my resignation papers in Ton's face and tell him to go walk off a cliff."

Retsuko couldn't help but laugh loudly at that for a moment, catching and stopping herself before she embarrassed them both.

"Same here, Komiya, same here."

As they looked at each other from across the table, the two creatures realized they had made a connection, and both started laughing again.

Komiya quieted himself down and wiped his eyes.

"Okay okay, I have to go, but I guess I start Monday?"

They both stood.

"Yes you do, and thank you Komiya."

As spring came around a little more, Retsuko and Haida began to make plans to go back to the farm, and Haida began to make plans of his own.

He had realized the need for this when he had noticed Ookami speaking to Retsuko one day at work.

As he worked at his desk, he happened to notice his girlfriend coming through the door with a stack of papers in her arms, when Ookami had stopped her by leaning on the doorframe in front of her. He'd put his hand on his hip, trying to make himself look bigger than he was, and was slowly swishing his tail back and forth to bring attention to its length and fluff.

He'd said something to her, and Retsuko had shaken her head and said something very harsh to him, judging by the hurt, stunned look on his face as she'd walked away.

Komiya was ready to defend Retsuko at a moment's notice out of simple loyalty, giving Ookami a dirty look from his desk at the fox's actions.

Haida was a male, and he'd recognized the body language. Ookami was trying to flirt with Retsuko, and she had refused to take the bait.

He knew Retsuko would never cheat, but still the thought of losing her worried him.

Maya's words echoed through his mind.

LOCK IT DOWN WHILE YOU CAN. SOME OTHER CREATURE MIGHT SEE HER AND TRY TO TAKE HER AWAY, AND THEY COULD BE SUCCESSFUL.

He glanced up at Ookami again from over his computer monitor. Komiya was speaking harshly to him as well, getting up in Ookami's face as best he could. It was almost amusing to watch.

LOCK IT DOWN WHILE YOU CAN.

Haida decided to lock it down, right then and there. He was willing to fight for Retsuko, even if it meant fighting himself and all his fears, faults, and foibles. One of the reasons he hadn't tried to follow Maya's marital nudgings was because he was afraid, and seeing that particular situation unfold had made him see a real reason to fight. He realized that if he didn't everything they had worked so hard for could fizzle out and sink.

He pulled out his phone and, despite the large workload he had, began to scroll through various websites, looking for the perfect item he could use to do that.

Retsuko and Haida were at home in bed when he brought up the subject of visiting family again. Haida had promised his parents he'd be back, but at the same time, he wanted to try to meet Retsuko's grandmother and great aunt, a subject that Retsuko balked at vehemently.

"I'm warning you, Haida, they'll be horrible to you, especially since we're together."

"They can't be that bad."

"Oh yes they can. I left to go to college and haven't visited back since. I call so they know I'm alive but that's about it."

"Then I'll go by myself, and you can follow along."

"Haida..." She said exasperatedly.

"I mean it."

"You don't even know where they live."

"GPS exists, you know."

"Okay, okay, but only if we go visit your family first, so mine doesn't sour the mood."

Haida leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, and she covered her face in the sheets in irritation.

"Done. Now let's drop it, Haida."

Haida laid back again, smiling a little to himself and tucking his hands behind his head.He knew exactly what to do now. His plan was being set in motion.

The next couple of weeks brought more anticipation and worry for Haida. He had the item, it was perfect, and the time was drawing nearer. The next step was whether or not to let his family know. If he told them, then someone could easily let slip. But at the same time, they could help him out.

After a couple of sleepless nights in bed of tossing, turning, and fighting with his inner self, he picked his phone up from the nightstand and sent Maya a text.

-MAYA, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

Part 64: Plans

Haida woke early the next morning to the sound of his phone ringing. Over. And over. And over.

It would finish its ringtone through and then start over again.

Retsuko turned over and nudged him, the picture of grouchiness.

"Haida, could you please do something with your phone? It's..."

She fumbled over sleepily and checked her own phone on her night table.

"...4 in the morning."

"I've got it..."

Haida was grouchy as well. Who on Earth would be calling this early?

Haida answered his phone, mumbling into his pillow.

"Hello?"

"HAIDA! ARE YOU ALRIGHT??"

Haida quickly and casually held his arm straight up, keeping the phone away from his ear as his sister shouted at him. He then sat up and shushed her, keeping his own voice low.

"Sis, pipe down, there's nothing wrong. I just wanted to talk to you about some stuff."

Maya lowered her tone, still sounding worried.

"Are you sure, I mean, nothing bad happened with you guys, did it? Or to you?"

Haida slowly stood and left the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him so Retsuko wouldn't hear if she was still awake.

"Everything's fine, sis," he reassured her as he made his way down the hall, "I've just done some serious thinking over the last few weeks and I wanted to talk to you about it."

He glanced at the time on his phone again and clicked on the living room lamp.

"Why are you up so early?"

"Planting time is almost here and I'm trying to get in the habit of being up. Don't you remember doing that as cubs?"

"Oh yeah, now I do."

Haida rubbed his eyes as he laid the phone down for a moment and unplugged his wireless headphones from their charger on the kitchen counter, connecting them to the phone easily. He had figured out that using such devices made it a lot easier when holding long conversations such as this, as it freed up his hands and there wasn't a phone pressed to his ear for a long time, making it hurt.

"What did you want to talk about, brother?"

As Maya's voice came over the headset, Haida set about making himself a pot of coffee. As he worked he tried to keep the noise level down and thought of a way to word what he wanted to say.

"Its...it concerns those dolls you made us and what we discussed a while back."

Maya sounded confused.

"What about them, and it?"

Haida found himself blushing despite being alone as he spoke about what was on his mind.

"UHHmmm..."

"Spit it out, little brother. You always lock up when you're serious. You really need to get a handle on that."

Haida spilled his thoughts.

"Maya, I'm ready to propose to Retsuko, I have a ring and I'm totally ready but I'm so afraid she's going to say no and I want to do it there on the farm and please say you'll be there for me if she says no and..."

Haida continued speaking.

"Haida." Maya said calmly.

"But you were right about another creature wanting her and I don't want to lose her because I'm too cowardly to tell her how I feel and how I want to spend my life with her and we're going to meet her family soon..."

"Haida."

"But I'm also worried abour her family not liking me because I'm a hyena and they're anti-interspecies and I don't want to cause problems for her and..."

"HAIDA."

The hyena paused in his speech, listening as Maya took on that authoritative tone that he had learned to respect throughout his cubhood. He looked down and realized he had also made a full fledged cup of coffee without realizing it. He didn't even remember the coffee maker finishing.

"Now, Haida, listen. First, I'm really happy you've made that decision. Second, I'll totally be there for you if she says no, but I highly, highly, highly doubt that's going to happen."

Haida poured the cup of coffee out in the sink, not sure if he wanted it anymore thanks to the butterflies in his stomach that were forming as the subject was touched upon.

"What makes you think she won't say no?"

Maya sighed.

"Haida, you're searching for an answer I can't give you, but she stood up for you when we told her about the car accident. She took care of you and helped nurse you back to health when Kirk beat you up. She brought the family back together. If those aren't signs pointing to a huge yes, I don't know what are."

Haida sighed this time, settling on the couch with his headphones still on, phone in hand.

"But she's also my friend besides my girlfriend. How do I know she wasn't doing that out of friendship?"

Maya gave a small chuckle.

"You still act like such an innocent cub sometimes, you know that? Things like this aren't just black-and-white.

LOVE IS FRIENDSHIP SET ON FIRE. Have faith, little brother, you guys have a 50-foot-flair burning.

Third, I don't think you're a coward. You're simply erring on the side of caution about rushing into something, which you're not. How long have you known her?"

Haida did some mental math.

"About 8 years. Friends for 5, together for 3."

"You're not rushing into this. I think your problem is that you fear the unknown, things like the future of your relationship afterward or starting a family. What you should do is just have faith in Retsuko and roll with whatever happens."

Haida laid down on the couch as she spoke, stretching his back.

"Rolling with whatever happens is easier said than done, sometimes, sis."

"I know, Haida. But sometimes you just have to. It's life. As to her family being anti-interspecies," Maya continued,"we both know that's a ridiculous and antiquated way of thinking, and obviously Retsuko doesn't agree with it, otherwise she wouldn't be with you. She'd be with some other red panda."

Haida's mind instantly shot to that red panda from sales Retsuko had dated briefly and he frowned. The guy was as dumb as a brick and Haida still couldn't figure out what the hell Retsuko had seen in him. Thank the gods it hadn't worked out.

"Her ex is a red panda," Haida said quietly.

"That's what I'm saying, Haida. She chose you when she could have gone with someone else if she chose. I don't think her family will really have any bearing on her decision about you, if that's what you're so worried about. She's a grown female, she can make her own choices."

Haida was getting sleepy again as the couch supported his back and Maya's words calmed his worried mind. He smiled to himself. He had always been glad he could come to Maya about things.

"Do you want me to tell everyone?"

Haida turned over on his side and adjusted his headphones as he pulled one of the couch's pillows up under his head.

"Sure, sis, go ahead. Can you guys help me if needed?"

"Of course, little brother. Now go back to sleep. It'll be alright."

Haida found himself slowly drifting away.

"Thanks, sis."

Retsuko awoke because she noticed the sudden amount of space next to her. She had gotten so used to Haida being there taking up most of the bed that when she had a chance to spread out it was actually uncomfortable for her. Turning over and looking at her phone, she observed only about an hour had gone by since he'd left.

Mentally shrugging, she turned back over and tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail.

She found she couldn't position her arms and legs the right way, it was too quiet, and she was too cold. Usually Haida would be snuggled up to her, or she to him.

Was everything ok?

She had heard him tell Maya over the phone that he had done some serious thinking about some things and wanted to talk to her.

Haida was the kind of individual to constantly overthink things, borrow trouble, and just worry alot in general. That particular part of his personality came packaged along with his empathetic and analytical sides, as he always thought about how others around him felt or analyzed situations fully.

He was probably up worrying about something. He was prone to do that sometimes, she had discovered, and the best way to calm him was to just go talk to him and be there.

Getting up, she found her robe and wrapped it around herself and, peeping out the bedroom door, she saw the darkness of the hallway and the light of the living room lamp on. He was still up, apparently.

As she made her way down the hall, she became aware of the scent of coffee and the sound of gentle snores.

Haida was sprawled out on the couch on his back, sleeping deeply with his right arm over his eyes to help block the light of the lamp on the other side of the room. His headphones lay askew on his head, one side on his cheek, the other in his ear, and Retsuko smiled to herself at him. Haida could also fall asleep just about anywhere.

Going back to the bedroom, she grabbed Haida's old black blanket from the closet and dragged it back to the living room, where she covered him up as best she could. Then, leaning over the arm of the couch, she gently began to remove his headphones before they broke.

Haida stirred at the feeling of his headphones being moved and opened his eyes, looking up at her.

"Hey sweetheart, what are you doing up?"

Retsuko laid the headphones on the coffee table.

"I was just worried. I noticed you were gone for a long time, then I remembered you telling Maya you wanted to talk to her about something that you've been thinking about, and I was worried you were worrying, so I got up to check on you."

"Aww."

Haida reached up and cupped her face, gently pulling her head down so her mouth could receive a small kiss from his.

"I'm alright, darlin. I just wanted to talk to Maya because I've been thinking too much."

"You've always had a habit of doing that."

Haida smiled a little and lifted the corner of the blanket up, inviting her to join him, patting his chest.

Retsuko removed her robe and laid it to the side as Haida helped her up, moving a little bit to let her get comfortable. The best position, Retsuko found, was being stretched out along her boyfriend's abdomen, with her legs on either side of his hips and her head on his chest. She tucked her left leg between him and the back of the couch and tucked her arms up under herself, laying her ear against him so she could listen to his heartbeat.

As the pair laid quietly and simply enjoyed each other's company, Retsuko felt Haida's hand run up her thigh to the curve of her hip, linger there for a moment, then come to rest on the small of her back.

"Haida," she murmured, "why do you love me so much?"

Haida stroked her back and side a little bit through her nightgown.

"I would beg the same question of you."

Retsuko moved forward a little so she could look at his face better, sitting up on him as she spoke, the blanket on her shoulders and her hands resting on his chest.

Haida automatically moved his hands to her hips protectively so she wouldn't accidentally fall off.

"Around you I can be myself," she said in answer.

"You take care of me and encourage me when I'm at my worst, and you're determined to make this work. When I'm with you, it's like I'm...I'm...home. Like, I can't imagine being with anyone else. You've been around me for so long it's difficult to imagine otherwise. It's like...you've always been here.

And no, I didn't immediately fall for you because of that first night we spent together. I had been falling for you for a long time, I just didn't realize it, and that song you wrote and sang to me made me acknowledge it. I was afraid of my feelings at first, but then I wasn't, because I realized I had fallen in love with my best friend over time, and I knew you loved me back because of what you told me in the hospital that day. That's one of the best things that could have ever happened to me."

She booped his nose.

"On the less deep side, you aren't exactly unattractive to look at, either. You have a very nice back, by the way. With your...green eyes and those teeth that give a hint of danger..."

She smiled down at him.

"I'm about as dangerous as a cotton ball, sweetie."

"I know."

Retsuko settled back down on her stomach and began playing with a small bit of his ruff that had worked its way out of his shirt.

"Thank you for all that, Tsuko. It makes me feel good you think so highly of me."

"I'm glad."

"Let's see, how do I love thee, let me count the ways..."

Haida thought for a few minutes trying to find the right words.

"I love your thick fur and its color, and your temper, and how you love hard rock music, and how you drink hard, and your kindness, and how you don't like pickles, or swimming, and everything.

I remember how I fell in love with you. The exact moment. Remember when I fell down while holding you at that subway entrance that day? When it snowed so hard?"

Retsuko continued touching his ruff. She had stopped playing with his fur and was now simply stroking it, her head still on his chest. She looked up at him.

"How could i forget? You were going to drop me and you did everything in your power not to."

She gave a small laugh.

"I'm pretty sure if you could have hovered or flown away you would have."

"You know it. That ground hurt. But you wound up on top of me when I hit the ground and I looked up at you and the light hit you just right and it was like love at first sight only a second time. I had seen you plenty of times before, but that moment was like wow.

Things sort of built from there. I began to realize how much I cared about you. I wanted to make sure you got home okay and that nothing bad happened to you. I wanted to take care of you and make sure you stayed around me in some form. I wanted to talk to you about how I felt so badly but I just couldn't because I didn't want to mess up what we had.

I love you so much because of who you are, Tsuko. You're tough and kind and soft and strong and...beautiful."

Haida ran his thumb down the gold mark under her left eye, touching her cheek.

"You're all the things I'm not, and you've given me confidence when I would never have had any. You made me feel brave enough to go home, and took care of me when I was hurt. You boost me up, Tsuko."

He booped her on the nose as he said it, and Retsuko giggled a little.

"I'm glad you're here, Haida."

Retsuko embraced him around the neck and gave him a kiss in the soft spot under his chin, making him laugh a little and embrace her back.

Haida released his embrace but did not move his arms, still holding his mate closely to him, and together they dozed until the call of morning life pulled them apart again.

Part 65: Trust

Tsubone watched like a spider from over the top of her cubicle as she observed Retsuko come into the department.

Retsuko had stolen her job, and Tsubone had sworn to make life for the insolent young mammal a living hell so long as Retsuko was in the superior position.

Her eyes narrowed as she and that hyena fellow Haida she had duped into being her bedmate walked in and talked for a moment. Some mornings they would even be holding hands.

Disgusting.

The least the foolish little rat could have done was choose one of the more attractive males around the department to sleep with.

As Tsubone lowered her head back into her cubicle, her thoughts became obsessive about how to get back at the job thief.

The old lizard looked over the cubicle wall again.

She quietly watched off and on as Retsuko would pay visits to everyone's desks from time to time throughout the day, checking up and giving a word of encouragement or constructive criticism here and there.

That was no way to run an office, in Tsubone's opinion. Workers had to fear their bosses in order to keep motivation up. It was much better to be feared than loved.

Retsuko would sometimes linger around the hyena's desk during these trips, exchanging quiet words. Sometimes he would take her hand and give it a squeeze, sometimes she would give him a small embrace around the shoulders.

Obviously they were together, for now, until she found someone else to bed.

A thought occurred to the old lizard as she watched their affections, and she got an idea.

Her tongue flicked in and out as she smiled nastily to herself. Sinking back down into her chair, she turned to her computer and began to type out a letter.

She had tried going under via the office gossip, that hadn't worked. So, time for another tactic.

There would be and could be no repercussions or retaliation from Retsuko this time.

- IT LOOKS LIKE THE PAPERWORK FROM HR CAME THROUGH.

Haida looked up from his work as the memo binged onto his computer. He grinned. The time was getting closer.

- HOW SOON CAN WE GO?

A moment, then another bing.

- AS SOON AS TOMORROW IF YOU WANT. I'VE PUT US DOWN FOR 6 WEEKS AGAIN. THREE FOR YOUR FAMILY, AND SOME TIME FOR MINE.

WE'VE BOTH GOT MORE THAN ENOUGH VACATION DAYS TO MAKE UP FOR THIS.

Haida typed back.

- THANKS TO TON.

Retsuko looked at him from across the room and rolled her eyes at the response.

-YES, THANKS TO TON.

Haida never thought in a million years he'd be expressing gratitude to the former Director, but he was. All the backbreaking labor Ton had pushed everyone through was paying off in the form of extra vacation time and bonuses.

He glanced down as his phone suddenly dinged as well.

It was another message from Jonathan. All it was was a bunch of winky faces and thumbs up icons of the kind that he'd been sending all day.

Haida sent him a few middle finger icons, knowing Jonathan would know he was joking.

Jonathan sent back a huge picture of a giant middle finger, and Haida snickered to himself, knowing his older brother was obviously really happy about the news Haida had told Maya.

Another bing on his computer.

-DON'T SAY ANYTHING BUT I'M PUTTING KOMIYA IN CHARGE WHILE I'M GONE.

Haida glanced up at her desk at the front, where he saw her looking at him, then glanced over at Komiya working at his own desk nearby.

Retsuko had explained to Haida and those in the department who would listen about rehiring Komiya and how he hadn't been the kind of creature everyone thought he was.

Haida felt a little bad for Komiya as he looked at the meerkat from across the room. He been kind of ostracized from the rest of the department because of his previous affiliations with Ton, and Retsuko was the only one who had shown him any kind of friendship or encouragement. In turn, Komiya had shown complete loyalty to Retsuko to the point of becoming her confidante and mentor.

Despite all this, Haida was still on the fence about the meerkat and whether he could be trusted with leadership. What if he decided to try to roust Retsuko out of her position? Would any of the workers even listen to him, causing the department to descend into anarchy?

- ARE YOU SURE THAT'S WISE?

She typed back, with a following bing.

-I THINK I CAN TRUST HIM. HE'S PRETTY SMART.

Haida shrugged at her.

-I TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT, TSUKO.

-THANKS.

The next day brought a great amount of nervous tension for Haida, and alot of excitement for Retsuko. She was quite eager to go meet Haida's family again, and to see the farm during planting season.

As they packed for the trip, Haida explained how the plow and the seeder hooked up to the tractor and how the ground would grow tiny blue flowers as a sort of ground cover in beginning of spring. As the tractor worked, the plow it drug behind it would turn them under and it worked nicely as a sort of mulch, and then the seeder would drop the seeds on the ground and bury them as it did its own work as it dragged behind the plow.

"I bet those flowers are really pretty," Retsuko said as they talked.

'You're really pretty...' Haida thought to himself as he simply stood and watched her pack for a moment. His nerves were jangling with fear and apprehension about what he was going to do.

Sometimes the apprehension would come to him in waves and he would actually feel angry. Not at Retsuko, not at himself, just angry. Like there was an intelligent force out there he should truly be angry at, a force that he felt like was always holding him back.

The force was there right now, laughing at him and daring him to try and telling him it wouldn't work. It washed over him and mocked him, playing his fear against him.

He almost gave into that force right then as they packed, almost let it take him, and make him turn away from his quest to love Retsuko forever.

But then his mate had turned and looked at him, and the love he felt for her was thrown into stark relief on his heart, like the heat of a burn.

He swore to himself for the fourth time that week there would be no way in hell he would let himself be forced away from her.

"Haida, what's wrong?"

He leaned his elbow on the dresser and propped his chin up in a non-chalant manner and just looked at her, keeping himself calm.

"You've been acting really weird lately, Haida. You don't talk as much and you keep staring at me. Do you know something I don't?"

He smiled.

"You might could say that."

Retsuko stared at him for a moment, then got back to stuffing her backpack with clothes and essentials.

"You and Jonathan had best not be planning something awful."

The drive to the farm was somewhat joyful, with Retsuko trying to engage Haida in guessing games and asking questions along the way as Haida drove.

Haida was silent most of the way, fighting with himself again. A million scenarios about what could happen when he did what he had planned were running through his mind, none of them good.

Maybe Retsuko would get mad, maybe she'd be embarrassed, and the absolute worst of all, maybe she'd say no.

He told himself to concentrate on the road and not worry til they got there.

Retsuko, on the other hand, was looking out the window and letting her mind wander. Nine years. Nine years Haida had stayed away and now he was welcome back home again. She was so happy for him.

Her accountant mind automatically began to crunch the numbers in her head without her realizing it. Haida had been 25 when he'd come back home, and she had gathered he'd been gone for 9 years. 25 minus 9 was...

Her eyes widened and she turned her head to look at him.

"YOU LEFT HOME WHEN YOU WERE 16??"

Haida stepped on the brake in surprise for a split second and the car went over the yellow line of the road before he managed to gain control back.

His adrenaline running high, Haida looked back and forth at her, switching his vison rapidly between the road and his girlfriend.

"How did you know that??"

Retsuko apologized for upsetting him, and then explained it was simple math.

Haida's face flushed but he calmed down a little now that the surprise was over.

He stared hard at the road, slowing down a hair. He spoke slowly, finding the words hard to admit despite the trust he had in Retsuko. The fact that the words he spoke were true didn't make them any less hard to say.

His mate sat in the passenger seat looking at him and awaiting a response.

He felt ashamed at his truth.

"Yes, Retsuko, I...I did. After...after the accident I left. Lived on the streets for a little while, earning money playing guitar on street corners."

"Oh, Haida, I'm so sorry..." Retsuko said quietly.

Haida continued looking at the road, seeming to be looking more inward than outward.

"It was Ross that...that found me and helped me get my apartment. They were all looking for me. Everybody but Kirk."

Haida quickly looked over at Retsuko and back at the road again.

"That's one of the things that made everything hurt worse. The fact that it seemed like my brother hated me so much he didn't bother coming looking for me."

Retsuko's eyes welled a little for him.

"I'm so glad Ross helped you. He's a good brother. Did...Did he try to bring you back home?"

"He did. But I just couldn't go back. I couldn't. Not after...not after what happened."

He pulled over and stopped, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Haida, I'm am so sorry, I didn't mean to drag up bad memories."

He sniffled a little.

"It's okay, Tsuko, you-you didn't know..."

"Now I understand why they all came running into your room like that. They hadn't seen you in nine years..."

Retsuko bowed her head and fell silent.

After a few minutes, Haida spoke again, leaning his arms and chin on the steering wheel and looking straight ahead.

"I hope you don't think any less of me for running away like that. That's a major badge of shame for me...I shouldn't have done it...Mama and everyone were so worried about me..."

Haida wiped his eyes again, and mumbled into his arm.

"Everyone...but Kirk..."

Retsuko moved over in her seat to give him a hug as far as her seatbelt would allow.

"I don't think less of you at all, Haida. You were a teenage cub who didn't understand. You just knew something bad had happened and your feelings were all mixed up about it. You were thinking of your family, but going about it the wrong way. You and Kirk weren't in your right states of mind."

Haida hugged her back, his longer arms allowing him to hold her better than she could him. He laid his head on his girlfriend's shoulder and sobbed a little bit, grateful for the small sense of forgiveness.

"But..."

Haida pulled back at that and looked at her, hands on her shoulders.

"You should talk to your family about taking off the way you did and worrying them so much."

Haida looked down and nodded, unable to come back with an answer because he knew Retsuko was right. He wiped his eyes and hugged her again.

After a few more minutes of silence and holding each other close, Retsuko finally spoke.

"Do you want me to drive? I'd have to pull the seat waaaay up..."

She felt Haida smile a tiny bit against her shoulder, and to Retsuko it was like a beam of light breaking through on a stormy day.

Retsuko began to joke some more to make him happy.

"I think there's some wooden blocks in the back I can tie to my feet to reach the pedals."

Haida pulled back again, his face still serious. Retsuko could tell he was still hurting but that he was being strong for her.

His eyes were smiling the smallest bit, a thing she was grateful to see.

"No, Tsuko," he deadpanned, "you know those blocks belong on your booster seat."

"Ha ha."

When they finally pulled into the farmhouse's driveway after a long, quiet ride, they were both quite surprised to see Jonathan tearing across the front yard of the house with a shirtless Levon in hot pursuit behind him.

Jonathan was laughing hard enough to where they could both hear him over the noise of the car, and Levon was shouting something obscene.

As the couple got out of the car, Jonathan jumped into the car behind Haida, shut and locked all the doors, and stared out the driver's side window as Levon reached the car and began banging on the window with his fist.

Jonathan laughed some more and raised both middle fingers at his angry brother, safe within Haida and Retsuko's car.

Haida stepped between Levon and the car, shoving his hot-headed brother in the chest and quickly pushing him away.

"Dude, it's a rental! Stop it!"

Levon stopped his attack on the car window and, shaking angrily, simply pointed at Jonathan from over Haida's shoulder. He was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet and still trying to get at the car.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID??"

Haida pushed him away again.

"Hello to you too, Levon!"

Levon lowered his hand and his voice, getting himself under control, as he had practiced for years because of his temper.

"Hi Haida, Retsuko, nice to see you again, that asshole put glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. I turned it on and that crap's all over my room now, and I need another shower. Look at me!"

Levon turned so Haida could see that his entire pelt was covered with rainbow glitter. What made it worse (and slightly funnier) was the fact that Levon's fur was still wet from his previous shower, which made the glitter stick all the more.

Haida coughed a little to cover up some laughter, and he heard Retsuko giggle a little from the other side of the car.

"Yeah, laugh it up, you fuzzballs. He'll get you next."

Cursing, Levon stormed back into the house, slamming the screen door behind him, leaving Haida and Retsuko behind with Jonathan in the car.

Haida breathed out and, snickering, knocked on the car window, motioning for Jonathan to roll it down a hair, which he did.

"You can come out, he won't kill you right now."

Jonathan slowly stepped out, looking around like he was expecting to get jumped any second. When he saw he was in the clear, he grinned, and patted Haida's shoulder.

"Thanks bro, nice to see you again. Don't use the upstairs shower for a little while."

He turned and walked in the direction of the barn smugly, hands in his pockets.

Retsuko walked around the car and stood next to her boyfriend, watching Jonathan walk away.

Haida looked down at her.

"What the hell just happened?"

She looked up at him.

"Welcome home, Haida."

The rest of the family was nowhere to be seen, but as the couple unpacked in Haida's room once more, they could hear through Haida's open window the loud sounds of an engine starting, then dying, coming from the direction of the barn, then the sounds of shouting voices. The engine sound would start over again, the voices would shout, then the engine would die again.

Retsuko stuck her head out the window and listened, cocking her ears to the sound.

"Haida, what's that noise?"

Her boyfriend leaned out over her and listened as well.

"Sounds like everybody's out there working on the tractor. She does this every year..."

He leaned back in and continued unpacking, as if loud noises and shouting from the barn was business as usual.

Retsuko continued leaning out, listening to the noise.

"Who does what?"

Retsuko leaned back in to talk to Haida, then leaned back out again.

"Is it Maya or your mother who do what every year?"

Haida leaned out next to her again, looking at her in an extremely puzzled manner.

"What do you mean?"

"You said 'she'...so you must be referring to your mother or your sister, right?"

Haida gave her a small hug around the shoulders with one arm.

"No, sweetheart, I was referring to the tractor. She gets ornery every spring, and Mama and Maya have to fix her and get her running again."

There was loud, almost explosive bang and a surprised, raised female voice, followed by numerous laughs and another raised female voice. It sounded like Maya shouting obscenities. There were a few choice words shouted that even Retsuko failed to recognize.

"Sounds like she's really ornery this year."

Haida brought his head back in and continued unpacking.

Retsuko listened for another moment, then also leaned back in.

"Can we go say hi, or do we need to stay out til they get done?"

"Maybe," Haida said cryptically to mess with her.

"Maybe? Maybe what?"

"Depends on how things are going. John probably already told them we're here and he was headed that way anyway. Why don't you text Maya and ask if we can come in?"

Borrowing Haida's phone, Retsuko sent the requested text.

- Hey Maya, it's Retsuko. Did Jonathan tell you all we we're here? Is it okay if we come out to the barn?

A moment went by, then the bubbles started bouncing, showing someone was typing.

-MAYA IS UNAVAILABLE AT THE MOMENT, THIS IS JEAN. YES, JOHN TOLD US, AND YES, YOU CAN COME OUT.

Retsuko grew concerned, then was unbothered. The loud bang she had heard could have been from something on the tractor that hurt Maya, but if that was the case, then there wouldn't have been laughter from the brothers and cursing from the sister herself.

"Your dad says it's okay to come out, that Maya is unavailable."

Haida finished setting his guitar on its stand in its proper place by the bed, and stood, nodding.

"Knowing Maya, she's probably sitting by rage-quitting on the thing after that loud noise," he said, "Mama will be underneath the hood looking at everything, Pa will be sitting in the driver's seat ready to start it or help out if she needs it, and the brothers will be sitting around watching the show, I lay you money."

Haida looked from his guitar to Retsuko for a moment.

She had finished unpacking and was standing by the bedroom door, ready to go see the barn for the first time, and was waiting for him to come with her.

That simple thing made his heart melt, the fact that she was waiting for him. He realized what Maya meant when she had told him to have faith-that he should simply trust her to be there. That was part of love: trust.

Retsuko's voice brought him out of his reverie.

"Haida, is everything okay?"

The world came back into focus again and he realized how long he'd been standing there looking at his mate.

"Uh, yeah...yeah, everything's fine, Tsuko."

He patted his pockets nervously, still thinking about what he planned to do.

Retsuko held her hand out to him, and he walked over and took it.

Part 66: Want You

The walk out the barn was a slow one. Haida held Retsuko's hand on the path, both enjoying the nice weather. Retsuko's boyfriend was experiencing the farm in spring for the first time in several years, Retsuko herself for the first time, and she was agog at the nice weather and all the flowers that were blossoming in the fields as they walked past them.

Retsuko stopped them and gestured, pointing out at one of the fields.

"Haida, look! Those are the blue flowers you told me about!"

Haida stared out at the field where she was pointing, and there were indeed tiny blue flowers sprouting all over, like a vast blue and green carpet, with not a single patch of earth to be seen.

"Can we go out there and see before they get plowed under, like you told me?"

Haida looked down at her and his mouth dried up in fear, reminded of what he wanted to do, also realizing at the same time that that particular field was a perfect place for everything to happen.

Shrugging his shoulders back and facing straight ahead to try to keep his cool for a few moments, he finally lowered his face and looked at his feet.

"May-maybe later, Tsuko, we have to go say hi first."

Retsuko stared at him for another moment, feeling that once again something was off about him, but put it aside. She would talk to him about it later.

The barn was vast inside, and as the couple stepped in, Retsuko let out a sound of awe, looking around as she walked.

The area beneath the roof was home to a large hayloft that ran around the entire inside edge, and she could see the corners of sacks of grain and bits of straw sticking out from over the edges. As the pair walked further inside, Retsuko could see bits of sunlight breaking through from between the slats in the roof to illuminate the dust motes that floated in the air.

The barn itself was laid out like one big room, with what appeared to be various designated, roped-off areas for farm tools and equipment.

One area had rakes, shovels, and other hand tools leaning against the wall, another section had scythes and other extremely sharp hand tools available, and yet another held last winter's heaters, kerosene jugs, gas cans, and the family's generator.

The couple's goal laid towards the back of the barn, where the rest of Haida's family were gathered watching May and Jean try to work on the tractor.

May was bent low under the hood, cursing quietly to herself and reaching down inside the engine and making a turning motion with her arm. The brothers had a slew of rickety old wooden chairs pulled up and were sitting and watching in amusement as their mother cursed some more and pulled her arm out.

Maya was sitting on another chair, arms and legs crossed, looking extremely peeved. Her face was streaked with soot and oil, and her tail was fuzzed up and lashing back and forth.

Retsuko observed as they walked up that the tractor itself was a very old model, right down to bits of paint peeling off the hood and sides. It looked like the traditional old-school tractors that she had seen and read about in her books when she had been a small cub.

"Hi Mama, Hi, Pa." Haida said as he looked over his mother's shoulder.

"Hey, boy, how are you?"

Jean looked over at his other sons.

"Y'all go inventory the seeds and check the equipment, now," he said in a hard manner.

Haida's brothers looked up, surprised at their father using that tone of voice, but did as they were bid.

Haida paused as his father looked down at him from the driver's seat and his mother stood up from her work. Uh-oh.

"We got to talk, son," said May seriously.

Haida glanced behind him to see where Retsuko was. He had an idea where this was going.

In a lucky turn of events, Maya had had the consideration and good sense to guide Retsuko away from Haida and his parents as they began their talk, showing her the family's the old farm truck parked outside the barn door.

He smiled and watched as Retsuko climbed up on the step-up board and tried to look inside the driver's side window, and as Maya gave him a grin and a sneaky thumbs-up while his girlfriend was distracted.

"Haida," he heard his father's voice, bringing him back to the current situation, "I hate to bring this up as soon as you walk in the door, but Maya told us about you wanting to ring miss Retsuko's hand there. We just want to know, are you ABSOLUTELY sure you want to go through with this? I mean..."

Jean looked down at his wife, looking for support. May picked up from her husband and wiped the engine grease from her hands as she spoke.

"Baby, what we're trying to say is that we just want to be sure that you're sure. Like, if you aren't rushing into this and you've actually stopped and thought about it. Marriage is a huge deal. There's legal stuff involved, plus the fact that you may be all in love now, but remember you have to settle down and live with them. Is Retsuko truly who you want to wake up to every morning?"

Haida gently chewed his lip, thinking. He put his hands in his pockets and looked his mother and father in the eyes. Time to fight for her again. Bringing up the tiny bit of courage from within him, he spoke. The way his parents had worded it actually made him a little bit angry.

"Do...don't you guys like Retsuko? Because I do, and-and nothing's going to change that. I don't care what anyone says, she's my best friend and we're in love. I...I can't imagine life without her, and I can't see her being with anyone else, and I can't see myself with anyone else, either. Yes, I want to wake up with her every morning, and I can't wait to be around her when we're apart. What else can I say? Of course I want to be with her."

"Ok, son, no need to get defensive," Jean said, raising his hands in a non-threatening gesture, "we just want to make sure you're ready. If you're sure you're ready then so are we. We like her too..."

Haida's parents both embraced him at the same time, to his great surprise.

"...and you have our blessing to do this if you want to."

Haida rested his head on his mother's shoulder, hugging them back.

"Thanks, you guys, I appreciate you, and thank you for forgiving me and letting me come back home."

"Sweetie, you didn't do anything that needs forgiving; we never stopped loving you," his mother said, patting him on the back, "and we're so, so proud of you, Haida. You went out there and tried to make it on your own. You've proven you have the tenacity, life skills, and the good heart to get you through life, and this situation is no different. You'll make a wonderful husband, and maybe even a wonderful father someday."

May gave her son another squeeze and let go.

Jean let go as well, then placed his hands on Haida's shoulders, looking down at his youngest. Haida looked determinatedly up at his father, not showing any fear just to show Jean how badly he wanted to be with Retsuko.

"I'm gonna tell you something now that your granddaddy told me when I was seeing your Mama..."

He raised a finger and shook it gently in Haida's face.

"Go get her, boy, and don't ever let her go."

The walk from the barn to the house was a long one for Haida. The talk with his parents had given him a little bit of food for thought, and their words of concern, asking him if he was sure, were causing a tiny bit of self-doubt.

Would he be able to pull being a husband? This question was considering if Retsuko would even say yes, which was still another weight in his mind.

What about fatherhood, as his mother had mentioned? He knew it was a little too early to worry about that but the concept still itched a tiny part of his mind. Would he be a good father to any cubs he might have?

Haida stopped in front of the flower field he and Retsuko had passed earlier and leaned against the wooden fence that separated it from the path, looking out and feeling the breeze on his face.

He felt that force again, washing over him once more, telling him to just quit while he was ahead, that if she said no it would just make things awkward, that he'd never be able to live up to Retsuko's expectations, that he wouldn't be good husband material, and all sorts of other negative thoughts.

A single, angry, stressed out tear ran down his face and the fear-anger came out again.

He snarled and bit into the fencepost next to him. He felt his teeth dig into the old wood, tasted its age, felt how dry and dusty it was on his tongue, and enjoyed the feeling of his classical hyena jaw strength taking over as he yanked a sizeable piece of wood from the post and spit it out.

"Goddamn, Haida, what the hell's wrong?!"

Haida stopped in the middle of his second bite on hearing Kirk's voice and turned to see his brother standing a little ways off, just staring at him, jaw open in surprise.

Haida came back to himself and began spitting and coughing as he realized how bad the wood tasted, and how badly his jaw suddenly hurt.

"Kir-Kirk..." Haida managed an embarrassed nod to his brother amidst his malady.

Kirk came a little closer.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

By now Haida was bent over holding onto the fence, feeling sick to his stomach from the taste of the wood. He managed a weak nod again. Kirk took this as a safe sign to approach and helped his little brother stand, putting his arm around Haida's shoulder.

"Let's get to the house and get you some water, little brother..."

A little while later, Haida found himself sitting across from Kirk at the kitchen table, drinking some water, rubbing his jaw, and picking splinters from his teeth. Kirk had quietly given him some pain medicine because he knew of Haida's weak jaw structure due to its malformity thanks to the tree accident as a cub.

"So, brother," Kirk said, "what on earth ails you enough to make you want to chew through a pole? Is it because of Retsuko and your plans with her?"

Haida moved his eyes up to Kirk, still rubbing a sore spot on his temple.

"So, Maya told you?"

"Little brother, Maya told us everything. Go for it, she's good for you."

Haida sat, silent for a moment, pondering how to talk to his brother again. This would be a good opportunity to both mend more fences with him and gain some insight from someone more experienced than him with this sort of thing.

"Kirk, did you ever want to propose to Cassie?"

Kirk looked hard at Haida for a second, that old residual scar of anger creeping out. He quickly squashed the look, however, when his rational mind took back over.

Haida caught the look and apologized.

"I'm sorry, big brother, I know that'll always be a hurt spot for you, especially when I myself mention her. But, I have to know: did you ever want to do that?"

Kirk looked down at his hand, resting on the table with Cassie's gold and silver ring still on it. He rubbed it for a moment, thinking back.

"Actually, I did want to. I had planned to, but I kept losing my nerve. She was so beautiful, Haida, and kind and sweet, and she deserved so much better than me, and here I was just a hairy brown dude that worked in a lumber yard. Every time I got ready to propose, I would lock up. I couldn't say it, and every time that opportunity would pass by. I didn't think I was good enough for her, and in the end, I lost her."

Kirk looked at Haida sagely.

"Is that what's bothering you?"

Haida simply looked down and nodded. Kirk had hit it right on the head.

Kirk nodded as well.

"That's why me and you used to get along so well as cubs, because we're alot alike," he said, "but you have more of a thinky streak than I do."

Kirk tapped the side of his head.

"You tend to think about too many things whereas I don't think enough. That's where I ran into trouble with proposing to Cassie and with the situation involving you and the accident."

Haida sat still, listening, and Kirk stopped to give Haida a chance to speak. When his brother didn't, he continued.

"Haida...do you think you aren't good enough for her? Is that the problem?"

Haida nodded without looking up, and Kirk reached across the table and placed his hand on Haida's lower arm.

"Little brother, you are good enough. You're smart, resourceful, and kind, among many things. Don't torture yourself with this. If you do, you'll lose her and part of yourself because you keep blocking yourself.

You're naturally a nervous guy, Haida, no offense. To be frank, if you do this then you'll prove to her you mean it because she won't expect you to do it, otherwise. It'll be a huge surprise for her."

Haida nodded, taking in the idea.

"I still don't think I'm good enough, Kirk, but, you make a good point."

Kirk pointed at him.

"Does she love you?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her?"

"Of course."

"Has she stuck with you?"

"Yes, obviously."

"Then you're good enough for her, you idiot."

Haida soon found himself standing in the blue flower field, having made himself go out there. He needed time to think about what he was going to say when he asked her. Would he keep it short and to the point or would he make a speech? He knelt down on his knees and sat back, thinking. He pulled out his phone and looked at Retsuko's picture as the wallpaper, and put it away again.

Yes, he was the nervous type, and he knew that was one of his biggest flaws. He had to get a handle on himself.

He closed his eyes and thought of her, with her fluffy, soft fur and brown eyes, her large ears and how cute she looked in a skirt. As he thought about her, while blocking out the rest of the world and all those negative thoughts, his lyricist's soul began to put together the perfect words to say.

The words came into his mind like perfect leaves, each one falling gently into place in the lake of his mind as he put them together. He kept his eyes closed, aware of only that. He imagined Retsuko standing before him, watching the leaves fall and smiling at him...

He jumped and fell over in surprise as he felt a hard tap on his shoulder and heard his name shouted.

He opened his eyes and looked up in embarrassment as he found himself prostrate on the ground, legs numb and fuzzy-headed.

"Tsuko??"

Retsuko was bent over him, looking at his surprised face and laughing. Taking his hands and helping him sit up, she knelt in front of him and smiled.

"You were completely gone, Haida. Maya and I called out to you several times and you just ignored us and I finally had to come out here and physically get your attention. Sorry to scare you."

Haida shifted, bringing his legs around in front of him so as to get feeling back in them.

"It's okay, sweetie, don..don't worry about it."

He found he couldn't meet her eyes, and looked away. Retsuko spoke, sounding hurt from that action.

"Haida, is everything ok with you?"

He stood and paced a little bit, letting the feeling in his legs come back completely.

He had to do this now, she was here, he was here, the weather was good, he had the ring-the signs were all pointing to this moment.

He turned and knelt down in front of her and gave her a kiss, taking her hands.

"Tsuko...you know I-I love you, right?"

"Of course I know, what kind of question is that?"

Haida found himself now able to meet her eyes. They were the darkest brown, and he saw his reflection in them: a fearful hyena who didn't have a clue.

He kissed her again, making her grunt in surprise.

He spoke to himself in his mind: Be smooth, Haida, be smooth.

"Tsuko...I want you."

Retsuko leaned back, looking absolutely surprised at the statement.

She pointed down at the field beneath her, looking at him incredulously.

"Ah, uh, like...now? Like...right here, now? I mean, I remember reading about the ancients doing that sort of thing," she made air quotes with her fingers, " 'to bring fertility to the fields', but that's ancient and we don't eeeveeen..."

Her voice trailed off as Haida started laughing.

"...have a blanket-what's so funny??"

Haida moved forward on his knees closer to her, still laughing.

"You. You're funny...I want you all the time, but not like that in this sense like I'm talking about."

"So, what do you mean by that then?"

Haida took her hands gently and closed his eyes, then began to speak.

"Tsuko, I...I..."

Haida's throat closed up and he swallowed a little. He started again.

"Retsuko, I wan.."

Haida growled deeply in his chest as his throat and mind betrayed him again.

He jumped up, shouted as loudly as he could, grabbed a clot of earth out of the ground, and drop-kicked it across the field, where it splattered against a fencepost, breaking into a million tiny pieces.

He quickly turned and knelt in front of Retsuko again, kissing her a third time. She kissed him back and then leaned away, looking completely confused this time.

This time it was Retsuko's turn to get angry.

She jumped up and walked a few paces away, turned to him and stomped her foot. The skin around her nose and in her ears was deep red compared to their usual pink color now.

"HAIDA, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??" she shouted.

"You hardly talk to me for a month, and you keep staring at me weird," she said, gesturing wildly with her hands,"and the whole time I'm thinking to myself 'Oh no, is he losing interest, did I do something to hurt him, something's really bugging him'...then I think, 'oh no, what if he wants to break up?'

Then, we come out here and I think 'Okay, he doesn't want to break up, why would he bring me out here to his family farm just to break up with me?? Then you turn around and tell me everything's all right and you want me. I don't know what to think or say to you anymore."

She put her hands on her hips and looked at her boyfriend, who now had his head down and his ears laid back against his head.

"Haida..."

Retsuko knelt in front of him again and put her hands on his face, bringing his eyes to hers. As she looked at him, she saw sadness and fear there. From what, she didn't know.

"Haida, you're my boyfriend and I love you with all my heart and soul, but you're also my best friend. You can come to me and tell me anything. I can't help you with your problem if you hold it in and don't say anything."

She hugged him around his neck and stroked the side of his face, concern on her own face.

"Please, Haida, tell me."

Haida put his arms around her and pulled her close to him, drawing courage from her trust in him.

"Retsuko, I need to talk to you. It's a major thing."

She looked up at him, then rested the side of her head on his chest.

"Then talk, I'm right here."

He began stroking her back, feeling the soft fur puffing out under her t-shirt and the tension of the muscles in her sides.

His eyes watered a little and he hitched as he began speaking, and he felt Retsuko pat his chest reassuringly, showing him she was there for him and ready to listen to him.

"Retsuko, I want you here with me for the rest of my life. I want to wake up with you in the morning and go to bed with you at night. I want to always share a home with you and want you to feel like you can come to me for anything, be it protection, sickness, sorrow, joy, anything.

If I have cubs I want you to be their mother. If I fall ill I want you to be the one looking after me. I want your body, and your scent, all the things that make up who you are, forever. I want to be able to take care of you for the rest of my life..."

Haida sat up a little more and let Retsuko go, bringing one knee up.

Retsuko covered her mouth and began sobbing as she realized what was happening.

"...that's why I want to ask you, Tsuko, Miss Panda, Retsuko, Responsible One..."

Shaking, he pulled the small box out of his pocket and popped it open, showing her the small silver and black ring inside.

"Will you please, please, marry me?"

Retsuko simply stood looking at him, still sobbing, and he lowered his head and closed his eyes again.

He kept the ring box held out to her, however, an acolyte offering his heart, soul, and physical being to the goddess he worshipped.

A long moment passed, and just as Haida found himself accepting a sad truth, he felt arms around his neck and a kiss on his mouth.

Retsuko had come forward and come up under his arms to hug him.

"Yes," she whispered to him, "yes, Haida, yes, yes..."

He felt her nodding against his neck, whispering that beautiful word to him over and over again, and he was overcome with unbridled joy. He clapped the box shut and held her to him, wrapping his arms around her, refusing to let go.

All the nervous tension, all the fear, all of the evil force that had sat on him like a devil for weeks on end quietly saying horrible things to him melted away, leaving only a figurative pink cloud that Haida lost himself in.

He began kissing his mate all over her face, thanking her over and over and over, as she still continued to say the coveted word.

Finally, he jumped to his feet, and still holding Retsuko close, spun them around, laughing and whooping, until he put her down and slammed his knees down into the flowers in a victory stance, holding his arms out to the sky with hands fisted and letting out a howl of joy.

Retsuko stood by, laughing and clapping, as Haida finally got a hold of himself and approached her again, flopping down into the flowers next to her, panting and tongue hanging out.

Retsuko laid down next him, equally tired. She looked over at him and nodded.

"So that's what was bothering you. Understandable."

Haida turned over on his side and popped the box open again and slipped the ring onto her finger.

Retsuko held her hand up, looking at the ring in the sunlight.

It was simple black metal with tiny silver filigree swirls throughout its dark surface, topped with a red stone smoothly carved into the shape of a rose. The rose was coupled with two small green opal stones that glittered with iridescence in the sunlight. Even the rose itself seemed to sparkle. She leaned over and touched his face, then ran her hand down his arm to his hand, which she took.

"It's beautiful, Haida, thank you so much."

"No, sweetheart, thank YOU."

Retsuko laughed.

"Did you really think I would say no?"

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

Haida propped his head up on his hand.

"Because I was afraid I wasn't good enough for you."

Retsuko reflected his movement, also propping herself up.

"Sweetie, you'll always be good enough for me. Don't worry."

Haida took her in his arms and they simply laid there like that, enjoying the time spent there together and not wanting it to end.