Author's Note: This is sort of a side story to Daddy's Little Girl….it actually just has the same OC characters….same relations like Sasori is still Sakura's father but this is when the girls and Kayuu are WAY younger!
OMG! My BFFL just got an acoustic guitar and since neither of us can play, she's going to come over here this weekend and we're going to use the books our parents bought us and try to learn how to play the guitar! It should be fun!
Oh the other day we were talking at lunch, my normal crew and I, and I was talking about the guy I like. (Forest) My friend thought I said Boris and we all yelled no at the same time. My BFFL (mentioned up in the other paragraph) said "No, Forest. Emphasis on the F."
Well she replied. "FFFFFFuck you." Putting emphasis on the F. It was hilarious. Everyone started cracking up and we're still talking about it.
Another funny thing that you all might laugh at is one day we all sat down at the lunch table and one of my friends had a banana. The next thing she did was spill skim milk on the table. I, being my normal perverted idiotic self yelled out "Look! The banana had an orgasm!" My friends stole the joke from me now…and they tell it wrong!
Today in lunch we all started talking about something that will shock all of you…Shower Sex. It all started when I mentioned a fan fiction I read called Of Rubber Ducks and Shower Sex by .x.Tragic-Imperfection.x. Well…my Danna said "Shower sex is unhealthy!" and I asked how. She replied "It just is!" I don't question her…she'll hug my head tightly until there's no blood flow to it and I get light headed. Then she laughs at my pain, being the sadist she is. As you can tell my friends and I have the weirdest and most perverted conversations in the cafeteria! Enjoy the story!
Family Night
ONESHOT!
NO PAIRING
"Hey, Sasori-danna, un! I'm back!" Deidara yelled, carrying a child.
"That your kid?" Sasori asked.
"Yeah, her name's Dei. Her mom's around here somewhere…" Deidara said, looking around the living room of the Akatsuki Base. "Ah! There she is! My angel, un!" Deidara said, pointing to a brunette haired girl talking to Konan.
"Daddy! Down!" Dei exclaimed, squirming in her father's arms.
"OK! OK, sweetheart," Deidara said as he put her down and let her go over to Konan and her mother.
"Daddy! Daddy!" a young pink haired girl exclaimed as she ran over and hugged her father's leg.
"Hey, Sakura-chan. How was the drive here?" Sasori asked as he picked his daughter up and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Hey, sweetheart," Ayumi said as she kissed Sasori on the lips.
"Yuck," Sakura commented.
"Yuck is right, kid, un. Don't you two know better than to kiss in front of your daughter, un?" Deidara asked. Sasori and Ayumi laughed.
"THIS IS FUCKING REDICULOUS!!!" Hidan yelled, storming into the base.
"What's the matter, Hidan?" Sasori asked, rolling his eyes.
"MY FUCKING SISTER AND BEST FRIEND…whom I knocked up," Hidan finished softly.
"So…you knocked your sister's best friend up?" Sasori asked and Hidan nodded.
"AND! My sister just had a kid last week so we had to wait another extra fucking hour for her to get ready," Hidan finished.
"Aw! KAWAII!" Ayumi exclaimed, looking at the girl who looked a lot like Hidan, carrying a newborn.
"That…is my sister," Hidan said, pointing to the girl that every girl in the room went up to and started fawning over the baby.
"Her baby is cute," Sasori remarked.
"But loud and slow," Hidan shot back.
"Now you sound like me," Sasori said.
"Whatever," Hidan said.
"So where's your daughter?" Sasori asked.
"Over there with that Deidara look-alike. Her name's Mizuki," Hidan said, pointing to a timid girl of around the age of six.
"She looks like you," Sasori said.
"Hey, un! That 'Deidara look-alike is my daughter, un!" Deidara yelled and Sasori knew this was going to get a little mature for his daughter.
"Hey, Sakura-chan why won't you go hang out with Dei and Mizuki?" Sasori asked as he sat his daughter down on the floor but she still had a hold of his neck.
"OK…" Sakura said with conflict over leaving her Dad. She went over there anyways and started playing tag with the two other girls. Itachi then joined the group of male members.
"Hey," Itachi greeted, setting his daughter down and letting her play with the other four girls.
"You know what's funny," Sasori said.
"What?" Itachi asked. Everyone else just listened.
"Kids can just go up to each other and say 'Hi! Wanna be friends?' and then they just start playing. Adults don't talk to people unless they have to," Sasori said.
"Kids are more open and carefree," Hidan said, shockingly without a cuss word.
"I guess so…" Sasori said.
"Guys! Come over here! Look at the baby!" Konan yelled.
"No, we really-"
"COME OVER HERE NOW!"
"Yes, Konan-san," they said in unison. They all looked at the baby…sleep.
"It's…cute," Hidan finally said for all of them.
"I'll be right back," Konan said going to the kitchen. When she came back she had a tray with six juice boxes and six bowls of popcorn on it. "Kids! Who wants popcorn and juice?" Konan asked and Mizuki, Momo, Dei, Sakura, and Kayuu ran over to claim their food. "You kids can go watch sitcoms that your parents don't like! How does that sound?" Konan asked as she turned the TV on. The kids sat on the couch with their snacks.
"Yay!" the kids cheered and Konan chuckled while every other grown up groaned. She then left the kids to sit and chat.
"What?" Konan asked.
"Why did you just tell them to watch sitcoms that we didn't like?" Hidan asked.
"Because it's funny," Konan said.
"Still Standing is too mature for my Princess!" Sasori growled out.
"No it's not! Kayuu and I sit and watch sitcoms and soap operas all day!" Konan defended.
"Mama's boy," Hidan said through a series of fake coughs.
"I heard that Hidan! And he's not a Mama's boy! Can't I hang out with my little man without everyone saying he's a mama's boy?" Konan asked with fake tears in her eyes. Pein wisely stayed out of it.
"Pein! Say something!" Konan said. Darn it. He should've left when he had the chance.
"I think we should've signed him up for karate," Pein said.
"So you think he's a mama's boy too?" Konan asked, angrily.
"Dear, you make him watch sitcoms and soap operas. No guy in their right minds would do that," Pein said and she 'hmphed.'
About an hour later all of the adults were sitting on the couch, quietly talking. All the children were asleep with a blanket on the floor and Hidan's sister held her baby who was asleep.
"Well, I should be going," Hidan's sister said as she got up.
"Need help?" Hidan asked.
"Nah, Mia-chan will accompany me," his sister said.
"OK…" Hidan answered.
"Yeah…can you watch Mizuki while I'm gone? I'll be back as soon as I get her back to the compound," Mia asked and he nodded. They both walked out chatting about girl things like makeup, babies, and hot guys. Joy…
"So what are we going to do, un?" Deidara asked.
"We can't do much. There still are kids in the room and they're sleeping so that eliminates most of our choices," Sasori said.
"But they're asleep! Can't we bring out the alcohol?" Kisame asked.
"Daddy, what's alcohol?" Sakura asked and the guys and girls looked down to see their kids awake.
"An adult drink, sweetheart," Sasori said and Sakura let it drop.
"Let's play Pretty Pretty Princess!" Mizuki cheered.
"Well…now we don't have to think of something to do, un," Deidara said as they got out the game and started playing. After a while the guys were snickering because the kids were making anyone who won something wear it which included clip on earrings, necklaces, bracelets, rings, and a crown.
"You know, Sasori-danna, it's bad when you're winning Pretty Pretty Princess, un," Deidara said.
"Oh shut up," Sasori said as he readjusted his crown. The guys started cracking up. "You're just hatin' because I look better than you," Sasori said, mocking them. Deidara glared.
"Hey! No one's hair looks better than mine, un!" Deidara said as he flipped his hair over his shoulders.
"Daddy, it's your turn," Dei whined.
"Oh, OK, honey," Deidara said as he spun the wheel. "Six, un," Deidara mumbled to himself as he moved his piece. It landed on the crown. "Give me the crown, Danna, un," Deidara said, proudly. Sasori mumbled under his breath which made Sakura giggle but handed the crown over. "I WIN, UN! IN YOUR FACE, DANNA!" Deidara exclaimed rather loudly.
"OK, let's get a picture to put with the pictures we take of all the winners," Ayumi said, giggling while taking a camera out. Deidara smirked and the flash went off as she put the picture on a board that said 'AKATSUKI GAME NIGHT WINNERS' Deidara looked at the wall and his expression dropped while the other guys laughed.
"WAIT! DON'T DO IT, UN!" Deidara screeched but he couldn't stop Ayumi.
"Why, Deidara? You won," Sasori asked.
"Because everyone up there is winning something cool, un," Deidara said.
He was right. Kakazu was there holding monopoly money since he won monopoly. Kisame was sitting drunk pointing to a sake bottle…winning a drinking contest. Itachi was just staring at the camera because he just won a staring contest. Hidan was flipping the camera off. He just won the lottery…the Akatsuki just thought they'd document the moment he came home with 50 grand. Kakazu sure was on Hidan's good side that day… Sasori was sitting on the couch with his daughter on his lap. He put his chin on top of her head and was lightly smiling. He won number one father of the day says all of the kids. They all said he was "OOPER DOOPER COOLIO!" quoted from six year olds. And then there was Deidara in all his glory…looking more like a girl than ever.
"I hate you all," Deidara said as the kids giggled. Dei came up to him and hugged his legs. Then she held her arms up to him all the while saying 'Daddy! Up!' Deidara complied and picked her up. "You still love me even though the guys are making fun of me and I look like a girl, right, un?" Deidara asked his daughter.
"Of course, Daddy! Now I've got another mommy!" Dei said and everyone started laughing so loud at Deidara's expense. He just shook his head in shame while Dei kept saying things but everyone was being too loud to hear her. "…and I can play dollies with you, play dress up, and everything else!" Dei finished. Deidara was the only one who heard her though. Everyone wouldn't shut up…even the kids were laughing at him! It's not cool when a grown adult is getting laughed at by a bunch of six year olds!
How was it? REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A SIDE STORY AND A ONESHOT! I'M NOT GOING TO CONTINUE IT! I love you all!!! Night!