"Sous les Étoiles"
Harry and Ginny reflect on their relationship. One-shot, better than it sounds.
AN: This idea came to me when I was trying to fall asleep one night and I just couldn't pass it up. It's different than my other one-shot and hopefully a little deeper; I went for that effect. I hope I captured the full extent of Harry and Ginny's relationship, the way I view it. I love the French language as well and wanted to include it somewhere in the fic. The poem was found by searching on Google, and I thought it fit pretty well. Hope you enjoy; please take the time to R&R and I'll love you forever :)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the poem or any of the HP characters. Wish I did. And I wish I were Ginny. You can just let me think I am . . . on with the story now!
Quand vous étiez jeune
Si vous êtes tombé amoureux (se) de quelqu'un
Veuillez, le traitez tendrement
Quel que soit le temps que vous vous êtes aimés
Si vous pouvez toujours vous traiter tendrement
Alors, chaque moment sera une beauté immaculée
Si vous devez vous séparer
Dites vous au revoir gentiment
Maintenez la gratitude dans votre coeurRemerciez le de vous donner une mémoire
Quand vous grandissez
Vous saurez
Q'au moment d'évoquer le passé soudainement
Une jeunesse sans ressentiment sera sans regret
Comme cette pleine lune silencieuse au-dessus de la colline
They were on one of the rolling, grassy hills behind the Burrow. Harry wasn't really sure what time it was, and he didn't care to be honest. He really didn't know why he and Ginny had wandered out in the first place. Their excuse was that they wanted to get away from the noise of Ron and Hermione's engagement party, but he suspected that deep within themselves they had other reasons hidden. His gaze lingered on her. She was lying on her back, staring up at the stars. His arms were wrapped around her gently. He could stay like this forever. With the slight amount of light coming from the heavens, Harry could barely see her complexion reflected in the pale moonlight. Her freckles, starting at the bridge of her nose and sprinkled all across her cheeks, neck and shoulders; her blue eyes that sparkled even with the little light from the stars; her fiery red hair that seemed to be worth so much more than just the adjective 'red'. Ah, her hair, how he loved her hair! It was filled with a million different shades of red and it smelt of strawberries and cream. It was soft to the touch and he loved to run his fingers through it. At that moment, he lifted one hand from her waist and did just that. She was beautiful, beyond beautiful; she was his angel, his one and only.
He didn't really know what exactly they had become. 'Best friends' seemed like such a shallow term compared to what they had. When Ron and Hermione had first seemingly abandoned him for each other, he had only regarded Ginny as a replacement for their affections. He was ever-so wrong. Ginny had proved to be more of a friend than he could ever ask for. She was always there for him. It just took him awhile to realize it.
Harry threw himself down on a couch in the Gryffindor common room rather unceremoniously. He didn't care what time it was; he had a splitting headache that he was sure hadn't come from his scar. It was all too much, entirely too much for him to handle. The deaths of Cedric, Sirius, Hagrid, Neville and Luna, Seamus, Arthur Weasley, and countless others had been all his fault. And he knew that so many others would die before he finally had the courage to defeat the Dark Lord. It hit him every once in awhile: he had to KILL someone. It was all too much to bear. On top of all that, he had his N.E.W.T.s, his graduation from Hogwarts, Ron and Hermione becoming a couple, and having to find a place of his own to deal with. He just wanted to be a normal seventeen-year-old boy, with normal fears, hopes and dreams. With a normal family and normal friends who he didn't have to worry about dying because of him. That was purely it, in fact. Harry Potter just wanted to be NORMAL.
He let a single tear fall from his eye and wiped it away furiously. He wasn't going to cry, not now. Not after all he had come through, all he had left to go.
"Harry?" It was almost a whisper coming from the other side of the common room. He didn't have to turn around to see who it was - only little Ginny Weasley.
"Ginny," he struggled to speak, "What are you doing up this late?"
"Couldn't sleep," was her simple reply. "Mind if I sit down?"
He shrugged and made room for her next to him, suddenly realizing how pathetic he must have looked, draped on the couch like that with his forehead in his hand. A tear threatened to escape again but he caught it. Unfortunately, Ginny hadn't missed it.
"Harry," she choked, nearly on the edge of tears herself. It hadn't been two months since the death of her father and he knew it was still difficult for her to think about what Harry must be going through. She reached up and wiped his tear away; it had finally fallen. He wouldn't have it.
"Gin, I know what's coming here. You're going to try and help me. Tell me it's okay. Tell me it's not my fault, and that you're always here for me if I need to talk, and blah blah blah. Well guess what?!" He was positively fuming now, nearly yelling, and finally spilling out all his anger. "I've bloody HEARD it already! You don't know anything ABOUT what I'm going through! Don't pity me, because I can't do anything about it! It's something I was BORN into, Ginny! I can't help it! It's what I've been stuck with all along! Don't you understand? There's nothing YOU or anyone else can do!"
And suddenly it was deadly quiet. Ginny sat there staring at him with an expression of shock mixed with hurt lingering on her face. He could tell she was trying to hold in her emotions.
"I hate it," he finally whispered, "I bloody hate it." And then Harry Potter did the one thing he swore he wouldn't - he broke down and cried. He sobbed uncontrollably into little Ginny Weasley's shoulder until he thought he could cry no more, and she never once moved. After what seemed like ages she finally spoke to him.
"Harry, I know you've heard it all before, but don't assume that I'm just like everyone else. I have thoughts and feelings too, you know. And I KNOW it's a fate you were born into, and there's nothing you can do. We KNOW that, Harry. We KNOW. What do you expect us to do? Sit around and watch you wallow in your self-pity?"
"If that's what you want to do, then yes."
She sighed. There was a long pause, then, "Do you know how hard that is to do, Harry? We CARE about you. We want to help you. But it seems that you don't want to be helped, so I might as well just leave now." She started to move, before he stopped her. It had suddenly occurred to him that maybe little Ginny Weasley wasn't so little after all.
"Wait," he said. "Could you maybe just . . . stay with me for awhile?"
She smiled. "Whatever I can do, Harry."
In her own special way, Ginny had become the best help Harry Potter could ever have hoped for. Whenever he needed someone, she was there. She never talked; just listened. Sometimes she held him, sometimes he held her. She was there for him until the day when he finally gained the strength to defeat Lord Voldemort. And she never once asked questions. That was the best part. He didn't care, and she didn't care. They just . . . were. Oddly, she was the only thing that made sense in his life.
He pulled her closer, and whispered her name softly in her ear. "Gin . . . "
If there was one thing he had learned about Ginny Weasley, it was that she was completely unpredictable. So, of course, just when Harry was admiring the fact that she never asked questions about their relationship, she surprised him yet again.
"Harry?" she started.
"Hmm?"
She paused for a long, long time. Harry found himself wondering what it could be that she was trying to say, when she finally spoke. "What exactly are we?"
Ginny was lying in his lap, and his arms were around her. They were on the very same couch that Ginny had found Harry crying on a mere two months ago. Those two months had flown by, and before they both knew it, it was nearly the end of the school year. Harry knew that he would soon have to go off to face Voldemort; he wanted to just get it over with and live a normal life on his own, outside of Hogwarts. He was attempting to prepare himself for it, and Ginny was helping him every step of the way.
Now, though, that was the least of their concerns. They were simply relaxing, enjoying each other's company. A lot of times there was no need for words between the two of them; they understood each other. And that was the beauty of their relationship. People had begun to get used to Harry and Ginny being together all the time. When you got one, you almost automatically got the other. Whether people thought they were an item, they didn't know, and didn't care, really. All that mattered was their own opinions. Their feelings for each other were entirely platonic . . . or so they thought.
They were shaken rudely into reality when Ron barged loudly into the empty common room, coming from the boys' dormitory staircase. As he headed for the portrait hole, he glanced over at Harry and Ginny, sniggered, and shook his head. THAT caught Ginny's attention.
"WHAT, Ron?" she demanded.
Ron stopped his descent to the common room exit and turned around slowly. He knew that tone of voice. But he only smiled and replied, "You two," before hopping through the portrait hole and out of sight.
Harry and Ginny stared at each other. There was an awkward silence.
"Err, what does he mean . . . US?" Harry said finally. But Ginny only shook her head, and, much to Harry's dismay, walked briskly to the girls' staircase and up to her dormitory.
After she was gone, Harry began to think. What exactly HAD become of their relationship? It must have looked like they were dating, or at least had feelings for each other, but they didn't . . . did they? Did he WANT her to still have feelings for him? Yes, he finally decided, he did. He wouldn't mind it one bit. Then, suddenly, he realized something. 'Oh no,' he thought, 'I like Ginny. That CAN'T happen!' Everyone he loved was either dead or had been targeted by Voldemort himself. He just couldn't let that happen to Ginny. Nothing else could become of their relationship until the Dark Lord was gone for good.
It was with that final thought that he defeated Lord Voldemort the very next night.
He loved her; he knew that. But once Voldemort was gone, another problem had been raised. He didn't want to lose his friendship with Ginny, ever. What if it didn't work out? And what if, Merlin forbid, she didn't feel the same for him? He wasn't willing to take that risk - not yet. But now that she had brought it up . . .
Harry wrapped his arms tighter around her and turned her to face him. He decided to play it safe. "I don't know, Gin, what do you think?"
Big mistake. For one terrible moment Harry thought Ginny had misinterpreted his tone of voice, because she started crying. One really couldn't say she 'burst into tears', because 'bursting into tears' just wasn't Ginny. But either way, she buried her head in his shoulder and just let the tears fall. Harry was stunned. This was Ginny - his rock. She never cried; he was always the one crying to her and acting like a sap. What could he have possibly done now? She sobbed for a few minutes before finally attempting to prepare herself to speak. Finally, she lifted her head, but refused to look him in the eye as she spoke.
"Harry," she began, "I think you know how I feel about you. I - I've cared about you for years, more than you ever realized. I just saw you sitting in the common room that one night and I had a stronger desire than ever to be close to you, to help you, to understand you. I was praying you wouldn't shove me away. And now I feel awful because it seems like you're not reciprocating my feelings, and then it feels like I've been using you. Which I haven't! I really genuinely care about you. I just . . . needed to get that out. I don't want to lose our friendship, either, because if that's all we'll ever be I'm happy that way. Please forgive me, Harry . . . but I love you." she began to cry again.
Harry couldn't believe his ears. She'd been hiding this all this time? He couldn't just let her cry like that. 'It's now or never, Potter . . . ' he thought. He took a deep breath, reached up and wiped away one of her tears. "Shh, Gin, please don't cry." Harry could tell she was trying her hardest to stop crying. Ginny really wasn't like this. He wondered how long she had been keeping this all bottled up. 'Longer than me,' he answered his own question. 'It's time.' He breathed deeply again.
"Ginny, I - that is . . . " 'Oh boy, this isn't going to be so easy, is it?' "Your feelings aren't . . . I care about you too, Gin." There, he had said it. But she still seemed to be expecting something. Oh, Merlin. "A lot," he mumbled.
She looked somewhat amused. "Sorry Harry, what was that? Speak up a little."
"I care about you a lot," he mumbled again, somewhat louder, and blushing. He thanked his lucky stars it was now a lot darker outside.
Now Ginny actually smiled. "Still couldn't hear you . . . one more time?"
"I said I care about you a lot!" he shouted. "Merlin, Ginny! Do you know how hard it is for me, every single day, being so close to having you, but so far away? I've adored you for the longest time, Gin, but I've never been able to do anything about it. First there was bloody Voldemort. He attacked everyone I loved, and there's no way I could ever let him get his hands on you. Then, after he was gone, I was just a bloody coward. I didn't want to lose our friendship. I was afraid that you didn't feel the same way." He quieted his voice down a considerable amount. "And now, here you are, telling me the exact same thing I've been afraid to say to you for Merlin-knows how long." He looked up shyly to meet Ginny's gaze, which he could just see was extremely concerned. There were still tears shining in her eyes, and he wasn't sure if they were new or old.
"Oh, Harry . . . " she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He gladly returned her embrace and buried his head in her hair.
"I - love you, Ginny."
They stayed as they were for some time, enjoying the feel of each other. Finally, Harry tilted Ginny's head up and, hoping he wasn't making a mistake, pressed a gentle and hesitant kiss to her neck, cheek, and then her lips. She eagerly kissed him back, and the kiss grew more passionate until he rolled her over so she was lying underneath him. Harry knew it couldn't possibly get any better than that. Ginny felt the same. They were both completely ready to spend the rest of their lives just like that, when they heard a distant call and came crashing back down to earth.
"HARRY!! GINNY!! COME INSIDE AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE GUESTS!!" called Mrs. Weasley. Harry reluctantly rolled off Ginny, stood up, and smiled down at her. He helped her up and together they walked back to the Burrow, feeling happier than they had in possibly years.
FIN.