Doctor Frankenstein?
I look back upon my career, at what others term 'accomplishments' and I have to wonder: have I done anything that truly merits praise or pride? In my basement lab at OSI headquarters, I sometimes feel like the stereotypical mad scientist, gleefully rubbing my palms together in drooling anticipation of the next time I can play God. I spend more time down there than I do at the hospital (as a 'real' doctor) or even at my home. I guess the lab is my home.
What right do I have to alter someone's fate, to twist them from a human being into a 'miracle of modern science'? When the day arrives for me to meet my maker, will I be forced to justify taking someone with fatal injuries and sending them down an entirely different path than the one He had chosen for them? If not, I should be.
Whenever I might be feeling cocky or a little too full of myself, I remember Jaime's face, the day she learned about her bionics. I could hear her cries from out in the hallway, when she told Steve 'I don't wanna be a freak!' and 'Why didn't you just let me die?'. It was enough to break the strongest heart. After she'd had some time to rest and be alone with her thoughts, I went in to see her. It was obvious she'd been crying for hours; still was. The guilt I felt that day has still never left me. Jaime has adjusted beautifully in the two years since her transformation, but just the other day, she admitted that she still has times when she wishes we'd simply let nature and fate take their course.
I think of Steve's transformation, as well, with the fury he still occasionally has to struggle with, to keep it from boiling over. The holes he punched in so many walls, his multiple suicide attempts...all of it, my fault. His words on that first day echo in my mind even louder than Jaime's: "You had no right!" The saddest part is, he was absolutely correct.
Man has no right to make decisions that override God's! It's immoral, unethical and wrong. It's also how I make my living. I am contracted to turn humans into cyborgs, then keep them oiled and in good repair. Make no mistake - this is a lifetime contract. If I were to try and leave government service, either the National Security Bureau would lock me up to contain the secrets in my head, or I'd be captured and killed by some foreign faction who'd be after those same secrets. It's a trap; step in and never step out again.
I tell myself that at least Jaime and Steve use the so-called 'gift' I gave them for the welfare of our country and to help others. It's a cold comfort to me, but comfort, nonetheless. Of course, neither one of them signed up to do that; both were drafted, without their knowledge or consent. I helped to draft them, to indenture them to an unimaginable lifestyle.
Steve and Jaime...in so many ways, they've become my children, the only family I've got. To fall in love, marry, have children of my own - those things simply aren't in the cards for me. I guess I 'birthed' Steve and Jaime into the lives they live now, and most days that's enough.
Retirement? I'd like to believe it's out there, somewhere on my horizon, but who would take my place? Who'd look out for my 'children'? Anyhow, I would probably be bored beyond tolerance. This lab, these experiments, these people, have been my life for too long to even conceive of giving them up.
Oscar sometimes refers to me as a genius, but that isn't a title I relish. Doctor Frankenstein was a genius, too, you know. Ok, so maybe the name does suit me better than I'd like to admit. Right now, though, I'm watching Jaime running through the field behind the complex, and she's certainly no Frankenstein's monster, although sometimes (less often, lately) she still feels like one. Yes, we tampered with fate, with nature, but look at the results! She's happy, healthy and free. The best part of all is...she's engaged! She and Steve, after spending far too long on separate paths, have finally found their way back to each other.
Jaime has asked me to walk her down the aisle; not Doctor Frankenstein, or even Doctor Rudy Wells, Government Scientist - just Rudy - me. On that day, and today as well, there is no one and nowhere that I would rather be.
END