A/N: Hiya! that-meiko-girl, here ( melmeiko on Twitter)! This story was written months before the release of season 3 and SDCC. Nothing plot-wise was altered after either.

A/N: Cover art made by eight8xeight8 on tumblr, who is currently open to commissions!

A/N: The words "hair", "lips", "eyes", "mouth" and "face" were purposely not used, nor was a thesaurus. Using this method was a test to myself.

A/N: As in the tags' description, there is MEGA ULTRA EXTREEEEME SLOW BURN! And very heavily written. Meant to be read slowly to "see" everything, but you may do so only if you like.

–

"Until Our Last Days"

–1–

"He's...gone."

'Gone…' The last fragment to crumble from the Blue paladin took root within Keith. His lungs tightened, each breath flavored with agony and scant in vigor. There was an empty pilot's seat in front of him where his friend should be.

'Gone…' Catastrophe had gained the upper hand, banishing all other thought to irrelevance that did not amplify the reality before him. Just seconds ago, he had fled from battlefield to cockpit on urgent whim his speed would guarantee his other would be safe. It mattered not if his body were near the point of breaking, if he could just make certain this individual was alright and in front of him. Had he only called to them a little louder, ignoring the shredding pain swelling his throat this situation could have possibly been avoided.

Yet, all that amassed was the dead weight of a sunken soul. What remained of the missing was the reclaimed bayard obtained during their last battle. All else uncovered was rendered an abundance of nothingness.

Paladin, and princess alike, stood awestruck amongst lack of explanation. And although he was next to all of them, their presences gradually faded with every deafening thud of Keith's heart. To him, solely he and absent seat existed. He was alone. Again. He couldn't take this. There was no time for second thoughts; Keith turned abruptly with purpose, bumping into two of his comrades while hurriedly taking leave from the Black Lion.

"I gotta find him," Fresh despair messily stitched his mutterings together, "I- Maybe he already left before we got here!"

"Keith, no!" Allura's authoritative timbre cut through the small enclosure, and failed to reach him. Frantic footfalls echoed through the corridors as Keith ran. Limbs aching and weary, he forced himself to check each vicinity of the castle that Shiro ever frequented. Respiration was a distant luxury, and all that rewarded his failure was burning pain throughout his entirety. No one dared to run after him; they all knew of the truth that Keith so direly tried to escape from.

Twin vargas bled through the walls since he'd started his search; the distant hum of the castle's mechanisms and its dank colors were all that surrounded him. What he uncovered was nothing, and inwardly, that was what he became. Ignorant to bitter fatigue, Keith dragged himself back to the, now empty, hangar and stood at the base of the Black Lion. "Let me in!" he commanded, coarse and urgent, "Shiro needs us!"

The noble entity gave no hint of helping; the angle it resided in gave the illusion of glaring at Keith, almost if challenging persuasion from him. Or perhaps the Lion offered sympathy. When no immediate answer was given, the harsh stab of his exhaustion practically gutted Keith and he lowered to one knee, coughing. One hand plastered against a mighty claw of the Lion, as an absolute demand of devotion and determination. No one was going to stop him. Nothing would get in his way. He forced himself up on unsteady legs. As he did, the scattering of light footsteps tapered a short distance behind him. He heard an intake of breath, followed by, "He's in here!"

Pidge.

And if she were there monitoring his return, that meant Allura wouldn't bet too far behind. He didn't want to turn his back on anyone, but he needed to do this. Why didn't they understand? Why weren't any one them showing the same dire necessity towards this matter as he was?

"Just what do you think you're doing!?" the sovereign crisply imposed. Her tone launched like a weapon and pierced him, yet his stubbornness brandished the sharpest point of all.

"Don't try to stop me! I've got to find Shiro! If he's not here, he's probably still lost in space somewhere, and we just missed him!"

Allura only stared at him; a pang of disbelief brought her to draw in a breath before selecting her retort carefully, "Keith, listen to me. He isn't being picked up on any scanner. He's-!"

'Gone.' He silently finished the thought for her. His hand tightened into a fist at the smooth metal of the Lion. He didn't need to hear this, but his refusal to speak encouraged her to do it for both of them.

"Look," her stern tone lessened a tad. He could sense her nearing closer; he could taste her concern as her hand found his shoulder. In this moment, he wanted none of it. Despite his flinch, she continued on, "he may not be here, but that does not mean we will not search for him. We should do it together, not separately!"

"We're a team!"

Keith tightened. His breath marred his throat with a strangled noise. Something Shiro would say was not suited to fit her. Shiro had to be there. Keith needed him—to believe in, to admire, to stand next to...

"No," he uttered, his voice newly rediscovered. Then his attention returned to the beast before him. "I know you can hear me! We have to find Shiro!"

"You are not its pilot! What do you hope to accomplish yelling at the Lion?" she shot back, her grip starting to become taut in reasoning. Keith felt his muscles clench.

"Allura, let me go."

"Do you think you can take off with the Lions in any way you please? I understand how you must feel, but you are only thinking of yourself, not Shiro!"

"You're only thinking of yourself! As usual!"

"NO!" he bellowed, whisking around to her, severing the embrace in the process. "You don't even know me! I'm not sticking around here to waste more time when he could be out there getting attacked or lost! Lion or no Lion, I'm leaving!"

At this, Red suddenly threw back its head and gave a roar. In addendum, Black rose to all fours and opened its jaws. An indescribable relief peppered Keith's visage as he re-approached the Lion behind him. Silently thanking both beings, he leapt into the creature defiantly.

Allura, and the others who had gathered, watched with mounting dread and shock as Black studied them with a judgmental growl, almost daring a retaliation, before exiting the hangar and plunging into space.

–

What Black had in power, could not par up with its lack of speed, compared to Red. The difference was noticeable, but not too much of a hindrance. Even if he had been piloting at nonstop warp velocities, it would never be swift enough to match the fear within Keith that he'd lost sight of Shiro. His hectic scouting clipped his vision left and right, like the constant wing-beat of a butterfly. He had to know, he had to make certain, that he surveyed every expanse he could.

He rummaged through the debris of their fight with Zarkon; he milled over every slash and blasted wide crevice of the former emperor's ship. The larger his failure, the mistier his vision grew, and the stronger his grip on the controls solidified. Events of the past gripped into him, forcing him to recall what had always lurched just beneath the skin.

The Garrison.

Being unable to properly see Shiro off.

Months passing- a year.

Pilot error.

Funeral.

Painful recollections spattered across his mind like moving photos.

ooo

At 4:30am, Keith's alarm clock reverberated atop his dresser. The tremors of its call shuddered across the weathered wood for endless-seeming minutes. Around 6 after, the door to the bedroom let out an aged whine as it opened. Keith lunged for the clock, and slapped it silent. Getting any type of electricity out in the middle of nowhere was a blessing, however. Too bad having no place else to really go put a damper the need to be on time.

Practically a shadow trapped within a warm body, Keith dragged his feet as he made a beeline for the armoire across the small space. Taking a knee, he rummaged through the clutter to locate a few articles he would be needing that twilight: binoculars and handmade explosives composed from a bundle of pyrotechnics. A large chunk of himself was missing, and today would be the only time he could attempt to reclaim a sliver of it.

What was to happen later on in the day was Shiro, and two others he knew, were to leave for Kerberos. The afternoon before last, Keith was expelled from the place he once considered home. He and Shiro had spent much time together in the past few months, and he had become the nearest entity to true family Keith had ever allowed himself close enough to know. Separation had been wedged between them, but not by choice. A mishap on Keith's part resulted in his expulsion. And although he wasn't entirely to blame, he heaved the accusation atop his shoulders and carried on. He was fully aware of the hefty dread it created. He and Shiro had gotten a little close—far too close for the Garrison's judgmental watch. They hadn't crossed any lines or broken any policies, and were just good friends. All Iverson had grumbled to him, before he had less than 10 hours to pack up and move out, was 'You're disturbing Shirogane's regimen, and I need you gone."

Of course, Keith knew that wasn't the entire truth.

To stop himself from punching the man, Keith may or may not have pushed some things around and might have made a mess of the commander's office, instead. In his rage, he could recall one of the staff trying to calm him down, but he was too incensed to care. He didn't bother telling Shiro. He figured no point in it. He wandered around on his hovercraft until he found himself back at the dilapidated shack his parents walked out on him in. The only one he vaguely remembered the frame of was his father. His mother may as well had been a leaf in the wind. He recalled very little of her.

But, what was done was done.

Now, with only a few hours before the launch to Pluto's moon, Keith planned on sneaking back on campus grounds and seeing his friend off from a distance. Shiro would likely not be able to catch sight of him. It was unfortunate, but it would also just have to do. After gathering the items required, Keith headed out of the house and locked the door. He gave the area a good once around before making way to his cherry bright hovercraft, that he had built from bits and bolts, and climbing on it.

Before rousing the engine, his divided gaze skittered into the vast stars above. There, his attention and musings lingered, mesmerized. In the deep dark hues of twilight on the eve of morning, he became lost; ensnared by the vibrance of the vast. The tiny tinge of a fresh memory played behind his sights. Only a few days prior, had he and Shiro sat beneath the same wonder. Not more than 73 hours ago were they pleasantly reveling in the other's warm smiles and contagious laughter. He missed having fun for a change. He missed Shiro. But, there was no time for remorse. With no other hesitations, Keith evoked the vehicle to life and took off towards his only remaining family.

Little did he know, roughly a year later he would find himself in the exact same spot, lamenting the loss of his sole best friend. The only other time Keith saw it fit to step back on Galaxy Garrison soil was to attempt procuring information about the Kerberos mission to find Shiro's secret files. Needless to say, denial of this ended up with Iverson on the floor and Keith getting a permanent ban off the grounds. Shiro was the best pilot they had and was training Keith to outclass him. How could anyone there even be content with the mislabeling of 'pilot error'? Keith didn't believe it; he refused to. He liked to think he knew Shiro better than anyone, save for possibly the Holts. And crashing on such an easy retrieval mission was not something Shiro would do.

Keith didn't remain long at the funeral. Despite convincing himself he had no reason to go for a death that wasn't real, he still showed up and loitered in the background. He wasted no tears on such a farce. Afterward, he forced himself back to the place he was abandoned, back to his shack of a house. But instead of rising from his vehicle, he remained there. Effortlessly, he sought out the celestial expanse before him. In a few hours, the sun would pierce the sky and chase the heavier hues away. It was at this moment, similar to many moons ago, that he had beheld the same sight. At that time, Shiro was still on Earth. Now, who knew where he was, if he still drew breath, had thoughts, retained memories. Suppose he was somewhere without those things, floating in the void of space? What if Shiro were in the same ordeal as Keith was right now?

Lost. Alone. Distraught.

A hurtful pang squeezed in Keith's chest and he curled a gloved hand to it.

Where was Shiro? He hadn't really just died and left him behind, had he? It wouldn't be his fault if he had and he really never did come back. Everyone left Keith in the end. No one ever stayed with him for very long. The one who stood next to him the most, of whom he could remember, was Shiro. Maybe, all of this was his own fault. Had he not wanted to be more than just Shiro's friend, maybe he never would have gotten expelled, missed Shiro's lift-off nothing would have derailed Shiro from his focus and duty as an officer. Suppose it were true that he was the reason Shiro left him. They never should have gotten so fond of each other. The next time he wanted someone to stay close, maybe he should never freely speak his mind anymore; he mustn't allow himself to grow so freely attached to someone like Shiro again. If he ever were to meet with Shiro in the land of the living once more, although he wasn't much of one for prayers, he wished with all he had that he and the man he regarded so highly could start over.

He really wished Shiro were still alive. Silently, he pleaded for it. But the stars gave him no response. For a moment, he almost hated them for it. The sky was perfectly vivacious with a rich melange of lazy color. It was twilight, again. It was exactly the same look as it was when he stealthily saw Shiro off, several days beforehand when they spent their last joys together on Garrison soil. Had Keith known he'd not see Shiro again, he wouldn't have walked away that night. He would have stood his ground and...

A bead of warmth splotched along his bare wrist. Was it raining? His view lifted a bit higher, only for the dusky hues of the heavens to swirl into a dense blur. A light gasp trickled from him as he realized he was crying. Finally. He was only a year too late.

ooo

And like he had done back then, even now within the Black Lion, Keith wept. What did he do wrong that caused Shiro to leave, this time? While he chose to hold the guilt tautly to his heart, an overwhelming fact still remained.

Shiro was not there.

"Gone," he accepted, his voice punctured and weak, "….You're gone..."

And Keith could no longer run from it.

-Mel