Revived by Wendy's kiss, Peter exploded from the deck with a sonic boom whose shockwaves blew the surrounding pirates far from the ship except for Captain Hook. He was left tangled in the rigging above the deck, stunned and disoriented. Peter flew triumphantly around the ship and past Wendy and the boys before turning his attention to the trapped Captain. He swooped down to the deck and grabbed the Captain's fallen sword before he flew up to slashing the ropes that bound Hook to the yard arm. Hook lifted his head weakly and tried to focus on Peter. Peter raised his blade to slice through the thick ropes and gunfire erupted on the deck below him; three rapid shots. He spun 180 degrees and stared down at the deck to see which ones of the lost boys had found guns; they were strictly off limits.
"Who fired those shots?" Peter demanded.
"I did, asshole!" an unfamiliar voice thundered.
Peter stared at the stranger standing in the shadows on the quarterdeck.. The fellow walked forward with purpose in his steps and rapidly descended the stairs to the main deck. "Who are you?" Peter asked.
"Name's Edward," the stranger replied, "But my friends just call me…. Hmm. Since you ain't my friend you can just call me sir."
Several of the lost boys rushed towards the man with their swords drawn. He fired one shot, striking Tootles in the center of his forehead; the boy fell to the deck, instantly dead. "Anymore dumb-asses?" Edward growled. The other boys backed away and cowered behind Wendy. "That's a smart little pack of chicken-shits," Edward sneered. He swung the pistol's aim towards Peter.
Peter stared at the tiny red dot that appeared suddenly on his chest. Somehow he knew that dot came from the man's gun. "You killed Tootles," he said, horrified as he watched the ever-widening pool of blood around the body.
"No shit," Edward snapped. "And you could be next if you ain't real damn careful about your next more or two."
The Captain had finally begun to regain some of his wits and struggled to free himself from his bindings. He was quite frustrated to find himself too well entangled to free himself. He looked below him to the stranger. "Who are you?" he called down.
Edward cast his gaze up to the rigging and grinned broadly. "Your guardian angel?" he winked. "Or the next best thing to it. Hang on, we'll get you loose here in just a second."
"Is that so?" Peter asked, indignantly.
"As a matter of fact it is," Edward yelled back. "And you're gonna do it too."
Peter glanced over at his helpless opponent. He tickled beneath Hook's chin with his sword tip. "Suppose I don't want to?"
"Suppose I blow a couple of extra holes in this little girl's head, hmm?" Edward threatened.
"You wouldn't dare!" Peter roared.
"Wanna bet?" Edward swung the pistol and settled the dot squarely between Wendy's eyes.
"I'll kill you first!" Peter yelled.
"I don't think so." Edward replied, smiling. "Because by the time you get down here, she's dead. Now, do you want to rethink you're position here or what?"
"Why are you doing this?" Peter howled. "I swear I'll cut his throat!" He jabbed the point a little harder under the Captain's chin.
"Careful," Hook admonished cautiously.
Edward cocked the pistol's hammer back and eased his finger on the trigger. "You move that blade away from that gentleman's throat this instant or I am about to splatter what little brain there is in that pretty little head all over this deck. Now!"
"Don't do it Peter," Wendy screamed. "He wouldn't dare shoot a lady."
"Lady?" Edward echoed. "Lady? I don't see no lady here. All I see is a bunch of snot-nosed, blood-thirsty brats who are in desperate need of a few good ass-whippings… and I brought my belt. Ain't you lucky?" He glared back up towards Peter. "Well?"
Peter reluctantly lowered his blade, his eyes shot daggers at Hook. "All right," he yelled down.
"Now," Edward instructed, "Real careful like, you cut those ropes and turn him loose."
"What!?" Peter asked incredulous.
"You heard the gentleman," Hook said smugly. "Cut these bindings."
"And you best be real damn careful I don't get the wrong idea down here or I ventilate Miss high-and-mighty's head." Edward reminded Peter.
Reluctantly, Peter began to slice through the heavy ropes one by one. "Bad form," he said to Hook.
"Whatever do you mean?" Hook queried. "He's not a member of my crew… yet." He looked back down at the man on the deck. "I say, You never did tell me your name, good sir."
"Ooops," Edwards said. "My manners are slipping. My name is Edward but I've always fancied the title, 'Eddie the Butcher.'
"Eddie the Butcher," Hook repeated. "A fine name it is too." He grabbed the yardarm to steady himself now he was free from his bonds and smiled a toothy smile for Peter. "Why thank you Pan," he mocked. He slid down a loose rope to the deck.
Peter landed on the deck putting himself between Wendy and the stranger. His eyes narrowed and he showed his teeth, brandishing his sword. "Prepare to defend yourself!" he said to Edward.
Edward raised one eyebrow, unimpressed. "Fuck you," he replied.
Peter furrowed his brow. "What?" he asked.
"Forget it," Edward shook his head, disgusted. "Anyway, you have unfinished business with uh… Captain Hook, is it?"
"Correct," Hook answered.
"What are you talking about?" Peter demanded.
"From where I was sitting," Edward said, "You lost."
"Did not!" Peter yelled.
"Au contraire," Hook interjected. "I had won, no one here can deny that. 'Twas merely the execution that was interrupted."
"You lie!" Wendy yelled. "Bad form!" The Lost Boys joined in her accusations.
Edward glanced over to Hook and shook his head. "Kids," he grumbled. He fired a single shot that struck the bulkhead mere inches from Wendy. The girl screamed and then silence fell over the ship again. "It's very rude to accuse someone of lying," he said to Wendy. "Especially when they are being completely honest."
Hook glanced quickly around the deck. "Where are the crew?" he asked.
"Out there," Edward answered, gestured towards the ocean.
"Out where?" Hook queried.
"I'm not real sure about that," Edward said. "There was a big boom and here I was and there they all went, scattering to God knows where."
"Where did you come from," Peter asked. "You don't belong here."
"I fell out of the sky," Edward snapped sarcastically. "Hell, I don't know." He felt Hook's claw resting on his shoulder. "Honest sir, I have no freaking idea how I got here."
"Pshaw," Hook snorted. "That hardly matters now, does it? But since you are," he cast a wry smile towards Wendy. "Didst thou ever want to be a pirate, my good man."
Edward's chest puffed out and he grinned proudly. "Yes sir!" He grabbed Hook's hand with both of his and shook it heartily. "Thank you, sir!"
"Well then," Hook said, "Welcome to the crew."
"Looks like I am the crew for the time being," Edward chuckled.
"Hey!" Peter roared. "What about me?"
"What about you?" Hook echoed, trying to sound disinterested.
"I haven't finished with you yet, Hook," Peter sneered.
"I thought we got that straightened out all ready," Edward looked over to Hook. "You won, right?"
"That I did," the Captain replied. "I was merely interrupted in the midst of finishing the impertinent imp off."
"You did not!" Peter insisted.
"He did too," Edward said firmly. "You sorry, gutless, cowardly egg-sucking weasel."
"Pardon me?" Peter asked.
"Dirty, rotten, cheating, yellow dog, coward." Edward sneered.
"Cheat?" Peter echoed. "Are you accusing me of foul play?"
"Duh?" Edward said. "You couldn't fight fair if I nailed you balls to the deck so you couldn't fly."
Hook stifled a laugh. "I doubt he could much of anything else, either," he chuckled.
"How dare you!" Peter seethed.
"Real damn easy," Edward crossed his arms. "It's the truth. You have to have help to win -- plain and simple."
"I do not!" Peter spewed.
"You couldn't fight you way out of a paper sack without outside help," Edward jeered. "If it wasn't for that girl interrupting the Captain here, you'd be dead already."
Peter opened his mouth to argue but stopped. Unfortunately the man was right; Wendy had saved his life… but that wasn't cheating. "You sir, have insulted me," He said huffily to Edward. "I demand retribution."
"You shouldn't go using words if you don't know their meaning," Edward snorted. "And trust me, you do not want to fuck with me. I will kick your ass from here to Christmas and back."
Peter adopted his en garde stance. "Defend yourself," he said between his teeth.
Edward looked at Peter then to Hook. "Is he joking, or just nuts."
"I fear he's quite serious," Hook answered. "Would you like me to stand in your stead?"
Edward looked back to Peter. "No, thank you sir. But I know something he doesn't."
"And what would that be?" Peter asked impatiently.
"I've seen Raiders of the Lost Ark -- you haven't."
Hook offered his sword to Edward; Edward stared at it for a moment and felt the balance of the blade in his hands, adopting his own en garde. "Nope," he shook his head. "Just not my style. Thanks anyway," he went to hand the sword back to Hook only to see Peter begin his attack. Edward tossed the blade to Hook, drew his pistol from its holster, and fired. Peter dropped his sword, screaming; he clutched his right hand in his left.
"You shot me!" Peter screamed in disbelief. "Bad form!"
"No," Edward growled. "Good shot." He glanced down between Peter's feet. "Hmm" he mused, nudging the Captain with his elbow. "Looks like he dropped something there, doesn't it?"
Hook raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Indeed," he chuckled.
Peter stared down at the deck and his blood ran cold; for a moment he though he might puke. "You, you," he stammered. "You shot one of my fingers off?"
"Looks that way, don't it?" Edward scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"I'll kill you for this," Peter threatened. He retrieved his sword from the deck, now brandishing it his left hand.
"I wouldn't try that," Hook warned. "Unless you happen to be ambidextrous, as myself, its not as easy to fight with your left hand as it looks."
"Ambi-what?" Peter asked.
"It means you can use either hand as well as the other, as opposed to being left or right-handed." Hook explained. He propped his left elbow on Edward's shoulder and leered at Pan.
Peter glared at Edward. "Defend yourself," he growled.
"Don't!" Wendy cried. "Peter don't. He'll kill you."
"You'd better listen to the girl," Hook advised. "She is far wiser than you, and quite correct in this instance."
Edward took two steps towards Peter, his hand resting on his pistol. "Do you know what this is, sunshine?" He tapped the butt of the pistol. "This is a Ruger nine millimeter pistol, and while it won't blow your head clean off, it will do an excellent job of providing you with some extra ventilation. So you need to ask yourself this. Do you feel lucky?"
"Prepare to die!" Peter hissed between his teeth.
"I'll take that as a yes." Edward cast his eyes towards Hook. "Well, what do I do sir?"
"Kill him," Hook said flatly.
Edward shrugged to Wendy. "I tried," he said. With that he pulled the pistol from its holster and fired at Peter, striking him squarely between the eyes. "You lose," he said.
Wendy rushed to Peter's side and shook him, trying to rouse him. She stared at the small hole between his eyebrows; only a small amount of blood trickled from it. She glared at Captain Hook and Edward. "How could you?" she accused. "He's just a boy."
"Not anymore," Edward said dryly. Hook almost choked his laughter. "Hey, what was I supposed to do? Stand here and let him poke holes in me with that pig-sticker?"
"You shouldn't have interfered!" Wendy seethed. "You had no right.."
"I had every right!" Edward snarled. "I had the same fucking right as you did, blocking the Captain here when he was going to gut that little prick."
"It's not the same," Wendy insisted.
"Oh?" Hook looked at her disapprovingly. "And how exactly do you come to that determination, my dear. You interceded on Peter's behalf, Edward did on mine. Pray tell, why is your action more noble than his?"
"Well, because," Wendy stammered. "Because…" She stared at the lost boys for help.
"Because you're an evil fiend," Michael said, "and Peter is our friend."
"Is that so?" Hook asked, feigning offense.
"Was," Edward added dryly. "Was your friend." He winked at Hook. He noticed a few members of the crew swimming back towards the ship now, a couple of them were already struggling back over the bulkhead and onto the deck. He gave Michael a stern look. "For your information, this man is my friend and as I see it, Peter was a murderous little brute. And just who are you to decide who's evil and who isn't, eh?"
"I am an English gentleman," Michael proclaimed proudly.
"And so am I," John chimed in.
"You," Edward snorted, "Are a bunch of stupid, uppity, snot-nosed little brats. You are no more gentlemen that I am a brain surgeon… and I'm not."
"Well said," Hook clapped his hand to his new pirate's shoulder. He gave the lost boys a look of disdain.
"So," Wendy asked cautiously, "What is to become of us? Will you arrange a faerie guide for my brothers and I?"
Hook snorted. "Certainly not." He took a few steps towards Wendy so he loomed over the girl. "There is an ancient saying my dear. To the victor belong the spoils." He glanced at the boys once more and clucked his tongue to his teeth several times. "I have rarely accepted such sorry spoils before. Still," he paused and cast his eyes skyward. "I suppose you should make a decent cook -- eventually. And I'm told you can sew; there is mending a plenty to be done. As for your brothers…"
"Are you suggesting we join your crew?" Wendy spat.
"I am not suggesting anything," Hook growled. "I am finding it in my ever-benevolent soul to take you on as slaves, as opposed to throwing you overboard to the sharks with the rest." He motioned towards several burly pirates and they immediately seized the lost boys, tossing them into the ocean to the waiting sharks. "Your brothers, as I was saying," Hook continued, "may stay on as deck hands to appease your wounded feelings. Or they can go in the drink with the rest, as you may also if you choose, my dear."
Edward grinned at Wendy and bounced on the balls of his feet, his chest puffed out proudly. Wendy glared up at him. "What are you so pleased about?" she snapped.
"I was just thinking, 'she could have been in my shoes' -- but noooo. She chose down." He chuckled under his breath. "Hey," Edward said, pointing to Peter, "Your friend there is bleeding all over the deck. That's going to leave a stain."
"No it won't," Hook purred. "Because these little urchins are going to scrub this deck until it shines." Wendy's brothers stared at him dumb-founded. " You boys and Peter made a shambles of this ship. I expect it to be spotless by morning, when we sail with the dawn tide." He glanced towards the albino pirate. "See that these children repair every bit of damage they inflicted on my ship."
"What about me sir?" Edward asked.
"You sir," Hook said, "may accompany me to my cabin. We have much to discuss."