A/N: Written for this prompt, from a person who wishes to remain anonymous: I want a boy (idc who) to come pick Kurt up for a date, and Carson gets really upset and jealous, and Kurt's just all innocent and stuff. Can be Kurson or not.
Summary: When a boy shows up at the Hummel doorstep to pick Kurt up for a date, Carson is less than pleased, but not just because he's worried for his twin's safety. No, there's a much less wholesome reason for Carson's foul mood.
Rating: T
Warnings: One-sided twincest, Carson's language
I hope you enjoy :). Please let me know if you spot any mistakes. And please don't flame - if this isn't your thing (and I completely understand if it isn't), just don't read it. I've given you a fair warning about what this story involves, so if you read it and flame anyway, then you have clearly some personal issues to work out that I can't help you with.
This takes place around the beginning of the twins' JUNIOR year.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Puckerman?"
The mohawked boy in the doorway grinned wolfishly. "So I'm guessing you're Carson?" After all, Kurt didn't cuss, or wear glasses. Or scowl so much.
"Congratulations, you actually made an intelligent inference," Carson Hummel said dryly with a slow clap. "Maybe if you tell your English teacher about that, she'll raise your grade from a fifty percent to a sixty. I know you're also failing math, so I'll explain – that's the difference between an F and a D, grades I'm sure you've grown accustomed to seeing on your report card."
"Yeah, whatever dude." Puck shrugged and rolled his eyes, then craned his neck to look around Carson. "So, where's the sexy twin?"
Carson's mouth dropped open. Who did this guy think he was, objectifying Kurt like that? "What the fuck do you want with my brother, Puckerman?" he demanded. "Just tell me now so I can deny you and you can get the fuck away from my house."
Puck lifted his chin stubbornly and set his stupidly square jaw. Carson sort of wanted to make it a pentagon. "I'm here to pick Kurt up for our date."
Carson's blue-green eyes grew wide in shock and disgust, before he regained control of himself and narrowed them angrily as a surge of protectiveness and… something else rushed through him. "Like hell you are, Puckerman," he growled. Puck's (ape-like) arm caught the door as the paler boy tried to slam it shut, and he managed to push it open just in time for Carson's adorable younger brother to make his appearance, flouncing innocently out of the kitchen with a plate of freshly-baked snicker doodle cookies in his elegant hands.
"Carson, I made your fav–" Kurt's sing-song voice immediately cut off when he noticed the boy in the doorway struggling against his furious twin. "Noah!" he squeaked. "What are you doing here?"
"This shithead thought he was taking you out on a date," Carson explained. "Don't worry, I'm handling it. You just go back into the kitchen and I'll join you in a minute and we can share those cookies you made, okay?"
To Carson's dismay, Kurt ignored his words and instead dropped the plate of cookies on a nearby table and rushed over to the two boys, doing his best to pry his brother off of the jerk who had barged into their home uninvited, though he wasn't strong enough to have much of an affect. "Carson, get off of him!" Carson sighed and decided to step back, if only to make Kurt feel better.
"What's going on here?" he asked his younger twin suspiciously. "It almost seems like you want this caveman here."
"I… may or may not have agreed to go on a date with him tonight," Kurt admitted quietly, blushing guiltily and looking down at the floor, and god he was just so beautiful when he blushed and Puck so didn't deserve him. Nobody did.
"Oh please tell me you're joking." Carson wanted to punch the smug look off Puck's stupid, undeserving face.
"He asked me out before fourth period today," Kurt mumbled, still looking at the floor.
"Oh really?" Carson raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "And just when were you planning to tell me about his offer?"
"He wasn't supposed to come over for another hour, after I'd softened you up with the cookies and had a chance to talk to you about him…"
"If he's someone I wouldn't approve of without bribery, he's clearly not worth your time."
"But Carson–"
"What made you even think, for one second, that it was a good idea to go on a date with Noah Puckerman?" Carson spat out the name like it burned his tongue. "He's a womanizing douche bag who is no doubt riddled with STDs, and you know he's only after one thing."
"Hey," Puck protested. "I'm still here, you know."
Carson rounded on the teen and stepped forward so he was chest-to-stupidly-muscular-chest with him. "Yeah, why are you still here? I thought I'd made it pretty clear that you're not taking Kurt out tonight. Or any night."
"Carson!" Kurt tugged at his brother's arm. "Stop antagonizing my date."
"He's not your date," Carson asserted, turning a stern glare on his twin.
Kurt glared right back. "Yes, he is."
"Over my dead body."
"Give me one sensible reason why I shouldn't go out with him," Kurt challenged.
"Well, how about the fact that he's only using you so he can get off, because none of the girls in town will sleep with him after he knocked Quinn up, and you're girly enough for him to pretend he's not fucking a guy!"
"That's not true!"
"You know it is! You've known him just as long as I have, Kurt. This is the guy who used to throw you into dumpsters on a daily basis like you were trash – why would he suddenly be interested you after all this time? Am I supposed to think it's just coincidence that now that he can't hook up with any girls, he suddenly develops an attraction to you?"
Kurt's beautiful eyes filled with tears even as his cheeks flushed angrily. "Are you saying I'm not attractive enough for boys to be into me?"
Carson sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "God, Kurt, no, I'd never even think that. You know you're beautiful – hell, you're about a thousand times better looking than me and we're twins, for god's sake! And one day, you'll find a guy who deserves all that beauty." Yeah, that was unlikely. No guy was deserving of Kurt in Carson's book, not even Carson himself. "But Puck? Puck is not that guy."
"But what makes you think I'm going to find a guy like that at a crappy high school in central Ohio of all places?" Kurt shot back. "Noah may or may not be serious boyfriend material, but right now he's showing interest in me, and that's something I'm not likely to come by in Lima."
"Well then wait until you're in college in New York to date! There are plenty of hot gay guys there," Carson suggested, even as the thought of Kurt dating some random good-looking douche bag in New York sent his stomach into angry twists and knots. Well, they'd cross that bridge when they got to it. "Don't go throwing yourself around just because you think you can't find any better here."
"I don't want to go to college without even having kissed a guy!"
"I can guarantee you Puck expects more than a kiss tonight," Carson said through clenched teeth, set on edge by the very idea of his little brother being defiled by some ugly Neanderthal who held no respect him.
"What if I wanted to do more than kissing?" Kurt demanded, then slapped a hand over his mouth when he realized what he'd said.
Carson froze, staring at his innocent younger twin with fiery eyes. The silence between them was tense and seemed to stretch on forever. Finally Carson said, "Oh, you're definitely not going out with Puck now."
"But Carson!" Kurt whined.
"Don't even try, Kurt," Carson said, cutting him off. "You're not leaving this house with that man whore," Carson vaguely gestured to Puck, who had gotten comfortable leaning against the doorframe while the brothers argued and ignored him, "and that is final."
Kurt steeled his jaw and stared his brother in the eye in a show of bravado and confidence that Carson knew the younger twin wasn't actually feeling. "You can't stop me," he declared. "I'm seventeen, I'm over the age of consent for Ohio, I have a driver's license, I'm an independent teenager, and you're only older than me by four minutes."
"Exactly, Kurt, you're seventeen – only seventeen," Carson stressed. "I may not have authority over you, but what do you think Dad would say if I told him that his precious little boy was out on a date with a guy who's slept his way through half of Lima?"
Kurt gasped, any semblance of confidence gone from his features. "You wouldn't," he whispered.
"Try me." The twins glared at each other for a few moments longer, but it was clear Carson wasn't going to back down.
Kurt threw his hands up in frustration. "Ugh, you're impossible!" he screeched. "Dad's bad enough; I don't need you watching me like a hawk, too! Can't you let go of your 'protective older brother instincts' for once in your life and let me have some fun?"
Oh, Kurt, if only that was the sole reason…
"If that 'fun' includes you losing your virginity to a man not worth the dirt on the soles of your designer shoes, then no, I'm can't," Carson replied simply.
"I really hate you sometimes, Carson, you know that?" Kurt yelled, giving his brother one last glare before stomping off to their shared room, not even sparing Noah a second glance, because what was the point? Carson had made up his mind, and though Kurt was bull-headed in his own right, he could never out-stubborn his older twin, especially when it came to matters of his "safety."
Carson stared after Kurt's retreating figure, just barely restraining himself from running after the beautiful, upset boy and hugging him and kissing his hair and apologizing a million times over (Kurt brought out a soft side in him that those who knew Carson would be shocked to see). But he couldn't do that, because Kurt obviously needed some time alone to cool off.
It hurt, when Kurt said he hated him. Realistically, Carson knew he didn't mean it, that it was an angry exclamation made in the heat of the moment and that it shouldn't be taken seriously, but he couldn't help the pang he felt in his chest as the words repeated in his mind like a broken record. He hated upsetting Kurt. Kurt was a boy who always deserved to smile, and Carson usually found some way to get back at anyone who wiped the sweet smile off his gorgeous face. But he couldn't very well get back at himself, and he felt horrible being the cause of Kurt's frown this time.
Still, when it came to protecting Kurt, there was simply no compromise. If keeping his twin safe meant that Kurt got angry at him sometimes, well, he'd just have to deal with the anger. Of course, some of his need to protect Kurt from other men might have been fueled by more selfish reasons, but he didn't want to get into that now, not when he still had to deal with…
"You know, if you don't make your little crush less obvious, he's going to catch on sooner or later."
Carson whipped around to face the speaker, Puck, who he'd just remembered was still there.
"What are you still doing here, Puckerman?" he spat. "You're not getting any from Kurt, so you might as well leave to find a new conquest before your whole night is ruined." The tone of his voice quite clearly said he didn't give a flying fuck if Puck's night was ruined, and that in fact he'd quite like it if Puck was run over by a bus or attacked by a mob of bitter previous one-night stands. The thought brought a small smile to his sour face.
"Let's be honest here for a minute, man to man," Puck said, and Carson scoffed, muttering something along the lines of "closer to a mutt than a man," but otherwise didn't interrupt. "The whole 'protective big brother' shit isn't the only reason you don't want Kurt to go out on a date with me."
"And what the hell makes you think that, Puckerman, if your sub-human form of a brain is even capable of complex thought?"
"I'm an older brother, too – I get the protective big brother shit, but it's more than that for you. I can tell."
"What are you suggesting, Puckhead?" Carson challenged, trying to hide the slight shake in voice.
"I'm suggesting that you're feeling more than strictly brotherly love for our little Kurtsie."
Carson's heart dropped down to his feet. "Are you crazy?"
"Nope, just observant," Puck retorted coolly. "The other glee clubbers are too wrapped up in their own relationship drama to notice it, and Kurt's just too… Kurt to realize, but I do. You gotta be more careful with your leering or else everyone's gonna figure out you wanna a piece of that sweet ass, brother or not."
"That's sick, Puckerman!" Carson yelled. "You're sick!"
"I'm not the one who's got the hots for his brother," the mohawked teen taunted.
"Get the hell out of my house!"
Puck's smug face suddenly became serious and sympathetic, and Carson didn't know what to make of it. "You know, you aren't going to be able to keep him away from other guys forever."
"I'm well aware, Puckerman," Carson replied, his voice icy.
"And you also know that it's never gonna work out for you two?" he continued, and it felt like each of his words was punching Carson in the chest. "You're brothers. Even if Kurt somehow loved you back, you'd never be able to be together. It's wrong, not to mention illegal, and it's not like you could pass off as regular boyfriends. You'd either have to hide forever, or move on. And your dad, chill as he is, would never be cool with it."
"What is your point, Puckerman?" Carson hissed. "I love Kurt, but no more than any twin loves his brother. I don't need to hear this." Lie, lie, lie.
"Yes, you do," Puck asserted, but his voice was still infuriatingly sympathetic. "And my point is, if you really loved Kurt, you'd realize you can't ever have him and you'd do your best to help him find a guy who makes him happy, no matter how much it pisses you off. You'll just hurt him if you're selfish enough to try to keep him to yourself."
"Are you questioning my love for Kurt?" Carson yelled, suddenly furious now that his devotion to his brother was being called into question.
"Never, dude," Puck said in an aggravatingly pacifying way. "I'm just saying if you love him, you'll do what's best for him, even if it's not what you want." He was clearly thinking of Beth, whom he'd given up for adoption even though he'd so desperately wanted to raise her, with the knowledge that a stable adult could provide better for her – financially and emotionally – than an immature teenager ever could.
"Yeah, whatever," Carson muttered, knowing that every word Puck was saying was completely true. "Can you just leave now? I need to go talk to Kurt."
"Later, dude." With one last significant look, Puck hopped off the front porch and disappeared down the street in his beat-up truck, leaving Carson alone in the empty doorway to mull over his words.
Everything Puck had said was correct – the boy could be surprisingly perceptive and introspective at the most inopportune moments. Carson did love Kurt in a way no person should ever love their sibling - he'd known it for years, and only recently come to terms with it - and it was wrong and it was illegal and their dad would never approve, and he was being incredibly selfish trying to keep Kurt away from other men under the guise of protecting his virtue. He didn't care if Kurt lost his virginity at this age – he wouldn't have cared if Kurt had lost his virginity at fourteen, as long as he had been the one to take it. And his feelings were so, so wrong on so many levels but he just couldn't help it, because every time he'd talked himself out of it, Kurt would show up being so unknowingly adorable and beautiful and perfect and so much more than Carson ever deserved, and the shoved-down feelings would come rushing right back up to greet him.
Carson Hummel was in love with his twin, and as sick of a person as that may make him, he couldn't deny it.
Carson sighed and closed the front door before making his way to his and Kurt's shared room slowly, hating Puck more than ever for forcing him to confront these feelings when he had an upset brother to take care of.
He found Kurt curled up in a ball on their shared bed (they used to have separate beds, but they'd ended up sharing a bed nearly every night anyway, so they'd finally bought one large bed to save space), sniffing quietly. He looked up when he heard the door open, and promptly burst into fresh round of tears when he saw his twin tentatively hovering in the doorway. Carson rushed over to his twin and gathered the crying boy in his arms, shushing him and squeezing him and whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."
When Kurt gained control of his tears, he turned to face his brother, still wrapped up in his arms. "Why are you sorry?" he sniffed.
"Because I stopped you from going on a date and I yelled at you," Carson replied regretfully.
Kurt smiled through his tears and shook his head. "Don't be sorry; you were just doing what comes naturally to you. I know you're always worrying about me, and you feel responsible for me or something. I really don't mind, most of the time."
"But I made you cry," Carson stated plainly, and Kurt could hear the self-loathing and sadness behind his voice.
Kurt laughed shortly and shook his head. "You didn't make me cry, Carson," he assured the worried boy.
Carson's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and worry. "Then why are you crying?"
Kurt smile faltered, and more tears gathered in his beautiful glasz eyes. "I told you I hated you," he whispered, nuzzling his head into Carson's neck. Carson shivered as his twin's breath ghosted across his skin. "I didn't mean it," he promised. "I was just mad, and… and I felt horrible because I don't want you thinking for even a second that I hate you, and I'm just so sor–"
"There's no need to apologize, Kurtie," Carson assured, cutting of the boy's babbling and smoothing down his incredibly soft hair (he always got a bit of a thrill out of touching Kurt's hair, because he was the only one allowed to do it without getting physically or verbally attacked by the particular, image-conscious boy). "I knew you didn't mean it."
"Still," Kurt insisted, "I feel terrible for even saying it. I love you, Cars, so much."
Carson's heart soared at the words, though he knew Kurt didn't mean them in the way he wished he did. "I love you too, Kurt, more than anyone or anything else in the world. And nothing will ever change that, I promise." He pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's forehead to back up his promise. "Now, how about I go grab those delicious cookies you made us while you get comfy and pick a movie for us to watch?"
Kurt smiled brightly. "That sounds great."
Carson knew before he walked into the room that Kurt had picked The Sound of Music, his go-to musical for whenever he was feeling sad or stressed, and even though they'd watched it so many times Carson could recite every line of dialogue verbatum, he didn't mind watching it again, because seeing his adorably enthusiastic Kurt sing along to all the songs was worth all the repetitive musicals in the world. It might have helped that Kurt always insisted they duet for Sixteen Going on Seventeen, but that didn't need to be investigated farther…
And later that night, with Kurt sleeping peacefully on his chest, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks and his beautiful face and pale skin bathed in the moonlight, Carson decided he really didn't care if he was being selfish. Kurt was his one perfect thing, his glimmer of light whenever the world was at its darkest, and Carson would do anything to protect him and to keep him close. He may not be worthy of Kurt, but he came a hell of a lot closer than any other guy out there. He wasn't ready to surrender Kurt to another man yet, and he didn't know if he ever would be.
And Carson was quite willing to be selfish if it meant more nights with Kurt in his arms.
A/N: I TAKE PROMPTS. So if you liked this and would like me to write anything else (not necessarily in this universe) let me know :). I hope you enjoyed.
~Me and My Hag