Barriss was close. It was almost time, and Conradin was a nervous wreck.
Barriss and Conradin escaped the war and found themselves living in the quiet fields of Achilleas, outside the royal capital.
Barriss was almost finished with her 9th month of carrying their child, and the contractions were now frequent.
Barriss remained cool as a spring day on Mirial with handling the birth, but Conradin was scared and anxious. They were staying in a hospital room and the royal medical facility in the city.
Barriss held the trembling hand of her beloved, trying to smile and hide her discomfort as she regulated her breathing.
"I'm going to be okay, and so will the baby. You must relax."
Conradin had never been a parent, and was terrified by the whole process. At one point, he requested a large bowl of ice to be brought to the room, where he simply dipped his face into it with anxiety. Every gasp and wincing noise Barriss made during the contractions made him crazy, and he desperately tried to block out her pain.
But she was strong, and even the nurses on staff giggled, just a little, at his frantic reactions.
"Why can't it just happen already" he held back a wall of anxious screams with his quiet whispers to her. "This is driving me crazy! You've been at this for over 6 hours now."
"Go outside and get some air. Now." Barriss winced again but firmly insisted he remove himself from the room. "The galaxy has billions of babies born every day. This will be no different. Go. Go outside and take a moment. I will be fine."
Conradin felt some despair leaving the room, but he nodded and walked quickly.
How long will this take? How much more pushing will she have to do? Conradin was an emotional wreck and time moved so slowly!
Conradin heard Barriss scream out a few times and banged his head against a wall.
Barriss even had some choice swear words escape in between her contractual growls.
Conradin almost thought, at one point, she even suggested that he was responsible for her torment, and that his parents were never married.
He walked through the halls in mental agony, unable to help. He also felt some terror that if he went back to the room, Barriss would grab his bottom lip and try to pull it over his head to make him realize how it felt to give birth.
"How does it feel, having your world change?" A voice asked him calmly, maybe a little too calm. It was a young woman, with a hint of sarcasm.
Conradin looked up and saw Ahsoka Tano. She stared at him with her arms crossed. She was not unpleasant in her tone, but she did not smile at him. Conradin knew by her expression that he had some explaining to do.
"It's not easy when it happens. How are you doing, Ahsoka Tano?"
"Master Tano, now." She corrected. Conradin did a double take, and saw how fast the war had made her grow up.
"For the moment, let's assume I just punched you in the face and move on to the questions!" She growled a little.
"Fair enough" Conradin answered sheepishly "You want to know why I took Barriss from the Jedi."
She nodded sternly "This war has gotten out of hand, and she left when we needed her the most. When I needed her. Why did you do this? Did you trick her? Are you two really in love?"
"You think she could never love? That Barriss could never give up being a Jedi and follow her heart? It happened" He asked, answering her with more questions.
"She was the best of us!" Ahsoka demanded "She would never leave the Jedi with this terrible war! It's not in her character to just abandon us without saying something! She never said a word to even Master Unduli! Why would she do this!? Why would she quit?"
Conradin tried to calm her down as Ahsoka became flustered. Her promotion to Jedi Master must have been fast, and necessary. She did not completely relinquish herself of her attachment to her friends.
"It's true, Ahsoka. It's my fault she left. It wasn't easy, either. In her heart, she still has much of her Jedi heritage. But there is more to this."
"More?" She asked.
"Barriss was at a crossroads. If I had left her with the Jedi, you'd come here, punch me in the face and wonder why I didn't do more. The war has changed her. It changed us all. I gave her something else to consider in her life. Our friendship made it possible for her to let go of the Jedi order and the strain it was causing her. I let her use me as an outlet for emotions she didn't realize she had. When she unleashed her emotions, she realized she could not stay with the Order. Staying would have destroyed her."
"I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean it almost
destroyed her?" Ahsoka sighed.
A nurse ran up to Conradin with excited expressions "The baby is almost here!" She beamed. Conradin looked at Ahsoka and held up a hand
"Wait here."
Ahsoka waited, and could hear the cries of a new life entering into the world. She wanted to run in and see the baby also, but she stopped herself. She was not ready to confront Barriss with questions and interrogations that her friend was in no condition to answer.
After another 30 minutes of waiting, Conradin came out, carrying a tiny olive skinned baby girl, wrapped in a protective blanket.
She could see that he had been crying before he left the room.
"It's our daughter, Hope" He smiled as he introduced the child to Ahsoka.
"You have questions. Come with me. Barriss is sleeping after the ordeal."
"Look, I don't want to wake her." Ahsoka was backing awayBut Conradin motioned with his head. "Come with me. You won't wake her."
They entered the room, and Barriss looked very peaceful.
"She has visions when she dreams. Concentrate, Ahsoka, and you will know why she chose to come with me."
The baby made a small noise, but Conradin walked around with her. Ahsoka sat by Barriss as she slept and closed her eyes, meditating. Her friendship with Barriss helped make a strong connection, and she could sense the nature of the Mirialan's dreams.
It did not take long for Ahsoka to interpret what she had sensed, and looked to Conradin with a half smile.
"I see. It appears things are particularly complicated. But this might have been a possible vision of what would have happened if Barriss stayed with the Jedi. That doesn't mean it WOULD have happened."
"I could not take that chance. If I had done nothing...it could have been a disaster. I took her from you, and for that, Ahsoka, I am very sorry."
"No. Don't apologize. I understand perfectly. It makes a lot of sense, and it has made things difficult for the Chancellor."
"Difficult? How?" Conradin thought it was starnge she brought up the Chancellor "How is my marriage to Barriss interfering with the Chancellor?"
"It's hard to explain, but I have a bad feeling that things did not turn out in his favor because she left. It's as if he lost power when you two ran off together. I have a bad feeling he is up to something, but only Plo Koon listens to my suspicions. By taking Barriss here, and raising a family, you have somehow...changed the course of events. And Palpatine will not be happy if he should ever realize this."
Conradin pondered this for a moment, but smiled and put it out of his mind. What was done was done, and he had no worry about politics or the war anymore.
Ahsoka sat in the room, and even watched over Barriss and Conradin's tiny baby, Hope, while Conradin fell asleep exhausted from being up with Barriss for many hours.
Ahsoka kept the baby calm for a couple hours, but eventually little hope squirmed with hunger and started fussing.
"Oh, don't be upset, baby. Mommy's sleeping" Ahsoka tried to keep the baby quiet, but little Hope wriggled and cried.
Barriss opened one eye and saw poor Ahsoka trying to win against a powerful opponent.
"Here, I'll take her." Barriss smiled and gently held the baby, letting her feed.
Ahsoka blushed as Barriss simply accepted the baby being hungry and fed her in the traditional way all moms would feed their newborns.
Barriss still smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes "I am sorry you found out this way. I never meant to abandon the Order. It just...happened."
Ahsoka smiled a little "I can't blame you. You found something better and followed your heart, though you were the last Jedi I expected to give up on the traditions of the Jedi."
They both looked over at Conradin who slept heavily, and snored just a little.
Barriss giggled silently to herself. "I would never have thought of leaving. I just threw caution to the wind and made a decision. Have you ever done that, Ahsoka? Just made a quick decision without thinking of the consequences?"
Ahsoka almost chuckled at her "I do that all the time! Barriss, I do believe you are stepping into a bigger world. Not just marriage and parenting, but a world that is unpredictable and scary. You are stepping out of your comfort zone of Jedi thought. You are truly an independent thinker. It can be scary, but the rewards more than speak for themselves."
Ahsoka looked at the baby, and Barriss smiled, silently agreeing.
"It's so good to see you again."
Ahsoka gently hugged her "I wish for you much happiness."
Ahsoka realized that Destiny did not influence the decisions of individuals. It was the decisions of individuals that shaped destiny.