Identity Crisis

By: DJ Quicksilver

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.

Summary: CT era. A computer hacker, a pyromaniac, a kendo student, an empath, and a princess that no one knows exists. This is the story of Chibiusa, and her Neo Sailor Senshi. Destiny has finally caught up, and fate is not far behind.

Prep-Notes: This takes place more in the SM manga rather than in the SM series, though it will have elements of both in it. This story is still in development and I am posting this prologue as an experiment to see what public reaction is to this story and see if it is worthwhile to pursue or if it's dead fish in the water of ideas in my thick head. I'm praying to the gods that this being written in .wps doesn't screw up my formatting. Curse you Windows Vista!!!

This is my first Sailor Moon fanfic ever, so I'm a bit nervous and want to kinda poke my head out there with this for now before I decide to commit to anything. The majority of this chapter will be in first-person view, with a few tidbits in third-person view. Finally, be warned, it is a Yuri fic (Chibiusa/Hotaru is the main couple), and while it's only touched on slightly in the prologue, it will be much more apparent later on if I decide to develop it further, so take heed and stop reading if you find Yuri content offensive. I sincerely hope you enjoy this. :D

Prologue: Cold

'The moon is full tonight,' I noted, glancing up at the sky, a tearful expression marring my gaze.

As I walk away from the palace that was my home for well over 900 years, I can't help but notice the sorrow that is currently running its course through my body. I honestly don't understand why it is that I feel so sad leaving this place. It was as much of a prison as it was a home. I had no freedom. Every second of every day was planned out to the minute. The schedule varied from day to day, of course, but I was allowed practically no quarter as to what I wanted. I tried talking with my friends, but they gave me no sympathetic ear. I guess I should have expected it, considering who they are, but I would have thought they would have at least listened. Even though they were my parent's friends first and foremost, they were still my friends. I don't understand why they wouldn't listen. They used to be so different, my friends.

Then again, so were my parents.

In the past, my parents were not as unmoving as they are today. My father used to be a pre-med student at Tokyo University. He was somewhat stoic, but not enough to put you off right away. He was the kind of guy who enjoyed the quiet moments in life, someone who you can be around for a prolonged period of time without having to say anything and being incapable of finding the ensuing silence awkward. My mother was the complete opposite. She was a ditz, a klutz, a blonde, you name it. She was always very energetic, and had an aura around her that made you smile even if you were in the middle of the worst day of your life. Her heart had a way of reaching out to people, of melting ice and breaking down walls of steel. She was the most kind-hearted individual you could ever find, and the most loyal of friends.

Now all I see whenever I look at them is ice.

I don't know what changed them. Perhaps it was the sacrifice that they had to make to save humanity from the great freeze. Maybe it was their subsequent ascension to King and Queen of the Earth. Maybe it was something that they kept hidden from me. Now they seem so unmoving, so uncaring for the plight of their loved ones. Maybe they have been dealing in politics for so long that they forgot how to be simple human beings. Maybe they have other reasons. The fact of the matter though is that they expect me to be the same. Cold. I cannot give that to them. I refuse to destroy who I am just to fit their views of what a perfect daughter is supposed to be. Maybe if they would have backed off a little, I would have been able to simply ignore their wishes and endure. Today, however, was the straw that broke the camels' back.

It is my 18'Th birthday today. Not in years, mind you, but in body. Today my physical body has finally reached the physiology that I should have had over 900 years ago if my body didn't stop growing at the age of 5. I thought that they would be happy, and at least throw a small celebration, even if it were only for a couple of hours. My parents refused to see me, however, claiming that they were too busy meeting with some delegates from another solar system, something about forging an alliance with some of the neighboring systems to strengthen the safety of the Earth Kingdom. Sailors Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter were with her, as were Luna and Artemis, my mothers' and Sailor Venus' guardian Mau's and advisors respectively. Sailor Venus was at Central Control as always, overseeing the Palace security. The Outer Senshi were at their respective posts. Sailors Uranus and Neptune were on planet Neptune in their castle, the first line of defense against outside threats to the solar system. Sailor Saturn, my long time friend and ally in this lonely existence, had banished herself to planet Saturn out of fear of her own powers. Sailor Pluto was, as always, guarding the Gates of Time as has been her charge since the Gates creation.

With no one to share my joy with, I was forced to spend most of the day secluded. Diana, my own guardian Mau and advisor, was with me to lend a sympathetic ear. She was perhaps my last true friend in this world. She is always there when I need her, and is loyal to a fault. I thought to spend some time in the palace gardens with her, and then head back to my room for the rest of the evening. Of course, I didn't even make it to the gardens before I was intercepted by one of my mother's aids. She said that my mother requested my presence and that I was to dress formal. Ugh, more politics.

I, of course, had to comply with my mother's wishes, else there would be hell to pay later. So I went and changed into my princess gown, told Diana to wait in my room, placed my simple diadem on my head, and headed down to the Dignitary's Meeting Hall in the Crystal Palace. I didn't really pay attention as my mother introduced me to the representative of some solar system or another.

Then my mother dropped the bomb on me. Now that I was of age, they were engaging me to the prince of said solar system, an arranged marriage to solidify the alliance that my mother was trying to forge. Obviously, I didn't take the news too well. Hopefully, it will take the palace staff a very long time to repair the damage to the hall.

I didn't even give her the chance to explain herself. I simply stormed out, ran to my room, and started packing as much as I could fit into one military duffle bag. When Diana asked where I was going, I gave her an abridged version of what had happened as I continued packing what I would need. I left all my dresses behind, I wouldn't need them where I was going. I packed light clothing only, and left anything I knew I wouldn't need behind. The only three things I took with me that wasn't clothing were an old picture from my adventures in the past, my diary, and the locket that contained my Pink Heart Crystal, the object of magic that allowed me to transform into a Sailor Senshi – Sailor Chibi-Moon. I snuck out through the window just as the knocking on my door had started.

Now I'm walking passed the city limits of Crystal Tokyo, sporting my favorite low-cut jeans, tank top shirt, and my gray cloak with the big hood down, unneeded without the large crowds surrounding me, heading out from the edge of the city towards my secret hiding spot. There's a series of woods out in the northeast, about 50 kilometers or so, and in one of them was a nice little clearing where she had build a lean-to shelter with instructions she had gotten from the internet. It was a nice little spot she had found during her time in the past, and she had been surprised to find that it still existed in the future. She would often sneak over there with Hotaru, before she banished herself to her castle in Saturn, and spend hour's just laying about, and even stargazing whenever they could get away with spending the night there.

I sighed as I wracked my head and tried to come up with a plan. I had basically packed a bag, jumped out of a window using my Senshi magic, and ran as fast as I could get away. Sure, I was careful not to be seen, but I knew I didn't have much time before the alarm was raised at my disappearance. I had to keep low profile, and my little spot in the woods seemed to be the only place that I could think of where I'd be relatively safe. I knew though, that I wouldn't be able to hide there for long. So long as my Pink Heart Crystal was linked to my mother through her Imperial Silver Crystal, I knew that I couldn't stay in one place for too long, else she would be able to catch up with me. Sweet merciful spirits, have I tried to find a way around that link.

For about seven years I had tried to find a way to unbind myself from my mothers grasp. I don't want to be the lady that she was trying to train me to be. I needed a way out, before she tried to force me through it 'for my own good' as she likes to put it. I had ran it by Hotaru many times, and she had tried time and time again. According to her, the only way that a Senshi could break the link between her and the Crystal is through death and rebirth, and even then it was only a temporary break, until they were awakened again. So long as the Silver Crystal existed, she was bound to her mother.

I sighed as the thought of death started to bog my mind down with memories of Hotaru and memories of the Imperial Silver Crystal. Good and bad memories assail me as I try to fight down tears of frustration. It made her think of how Hotaru always reacted whenever she was in the presence of that Crystal. It seem that the Silver Crystal was the one of very few objects that truly unnerved her. It makes me wonder exactly how the Silver Crystal was forged to begin with…

It was as if lightning had struck. I come to a halt as the shocking realization starts to hit me. Crystal… forging… life… death… rebirth… this was the key! This was the answer to her problems. Slowly, a plan starts to form in my head as I start walking again, double the pace that I had been walking before. It was crazy, desperate, and would definitely mean the end of my current existence, but compared to my fate should I otherwise fail to act, I figure it is the best plan I could come up with that didn't involve the eternal shackles of bitter coldness that awaited with my family back at the palace. As I started reaching the city limit's the wind started picking up. I felt my hood blow back, revealing my pink hair for the world to see. I sighed as I tried to comb the hastily made plan through my mind, wishing again for Hotaru to be with me, to give me comfort and advice, both as a friend and the avatar of Death, Destruction, and Rebirth.

There were times when I still can't believe that Hotaru is gone. She had said that she was doing it to protect me from herself, from her power. She had felt her powers of Destruction and Rebirth growing, and was finding it harder and harder to control the intensity of the forces that were hers to unleash. She had said that she feared for the safety of the people of Earth, for her own safety. Most of all though, she had told me, she feared for my safety above all others. She had banished herself to her home planet and put up a shield around the entire planet. Nothing could penetrate the shield, not the largest of asteroids nor the smallest of dust particles. It grieves me that my closest and dearest of friends didn't seem to trust in herself to control her powers. I know that Hotaru would never hurt the people of Earth or herself. Most of all though, I know that she would never hurt me, whether by choice or by accident. The bond that Hotaru and I share is too strong, too deep for me to be in any danger from her. It stung me, her decision to part from me like that. It was yet another betrayal to add to the pile of growing resentment to this existence.

I was startled from my thoughts when Diana hopped from my shoulders and onto my head between the pointed buns that made up my hairstyle. "Princess, where are we going?"

I smiled at the chance that I now saw I had at a new life, at true freedom. "We're going to my secret spot, Diana. I've got a plan to execute once we get there."

"What plan Princess? You're not going to be in trouble, are you?" asked Diana. Looks like she knows me a bit too well.

"No Diana. I won't be in trouble, not for a very long time."

We fell into silence as we finally see the beginning of the woods that I'm heading towards. It was an uncomfortable silence, and I immediately knew that Diana was worried. I honestly don't blame her, if I were her, I'd be worried too, especially considering what I was about to do.

A half hour later, we finally reached the clearing. It wasn't that big, but it was secluded. There was a small pond at the edge of it with a running stream flowing into it, and the surrounding woods were warm and inviting. There was a tree by that pond at the edge that I had found. Its roots were all over the place, and it made the perfect hiding spot for what I wanted to leave behind. I sent Diana out to the pond while I sat down near my tree and readied myself for the tasks that were before me.

I pulled out my diary, ripped two pages out and wrote the beginnings of a letter on one. It took me about 45 minutes to write out the page long letter that I wanted. I wanted to make sure that this particular letter was well written, and that it betrayed nothing to anyone who might chance on it by accident. She had to code it in a way that she knew she would be able to decipher, even if it she had to do it on instinct alone. This would be the letter that she would leave behind with the diary. The second letter took much less time, but wound up taking up both sides of the paper. This was the letter that she addressed to her mother. Once I finished this, she grabbed the first letter, folded it in half, and then in half again, wrote 'Read Me First' on the outside of it, put it between the cover and first page of her diary, and closed it. She then put it into her bag, took out her Pink Heart Crystal, and tucked the bag under the roots of the tree, hiding it until she found need of it again.

"Diana, come here please," I called out as she faced away from the tree and kneeled on the ground with both knees. Diana bound towards me, and I couldn't help but smile at her boundless energy. Even now, in what I realized would most probably be my final moments for a while, I still had the capacity to smile at the simple things. 'Good. Hopefully it will always be like this, even after my rebirth. I can only hope that I won't wind up like my parents are now.'

"What's the matter Usa-chan? What's wrong?" asked Diana.

The smile faded from me as I saw the sparkle in her eyes. I would miss that look of devotion on her. I could only hope that the separation will be temporary, otherwise I would have burst out crying right then and there. Now that she was here, it was time to begin.

"Diana, I need to ask you a very important question. How you answer this question will affect our future together, as well as the future of the world as we know it. Will you answer this question as honestly and honorably as you can, Diana?" I asked.

I saw her pause. She was sitting stalk still, and I could see the sparkle from her eyes dim somewhat. Good, she finally realized that whatever I had planned is very serious. "I will, on my honor as a Mau and your guardian, I swear I will answer you as honestly and honorably as I can."

"Good. I would like to start by apologizing in advance, as what I'm about to ask you will most probably have repercussions that you may not like. It might strain your relationship between both of our parents. Do you think you can handle that?" I ask. I see only a slight amount of hesitation on Diana's part before she answered. "Of course Usa-chan, I can handle anything you need to handle."

"Thank you, Diana-chan. Now, here is my question. There can be no ifs, ands, or buts about this. There can also be no in-betweens in this matter. I need to know where your loyalty lies. If you were forced to choose between your loyalty to our parents, and your loyalty to me, what would you choose?"

Here, there was no hesitation from Diana. "My loyalty has been, and always will be, with you Small Lady. No matter whether that loyalty takes me, I will always be by your side, and no one else's," she replied with a small bow. 'Small Lady…' I thought with a sad smile. It had been years since I last heard someone call me Small Lady. This declaration brought a small tear to my eye.

"Good. Thank you, Diana, for your loyalty and support. I can honestly say that it is, perhaps, the most precious of treasures I currently posses."

There was a small pause, as I needed to think of the wording of the next part of my plan. "Diana, I need you to pay close attention to what I'm about to say, to explain. It will most probably be the most important thing you have ever done up to date. I need you to stay quiet and not interrupt me until I am done explaining what I'm about to do, and what I need you to do. Do you understand me Diana?"

"Yes Usa-chan, I understand," she replied.

"Then listen to what I have to say." I paused as I tried to put to words what has been hurting me for so long, and what had only today finished breaking me completely. "I've been betrayed Diana. My friends betrayed me by abandoning me. My parents betrayed me by trying to marry me off. If things continue as they are right now, I will be trapped in a world that I want no part of. I would be a prisoner for all times, in my own home, bound to the wishes of others. As I am right now, I don't have the strength or power to right any of these wrongs. This is why I need to do as I must, and I need your help to do so."

"What do you need to do Small Lady? And what can I do to help?" asked Diana. Bless her little heart, I can't wait for the day we meet again. "You know that Sailor Senshi don't really ever die, but we are reborn. This is the one ability that will free me Diana. I will give my life energy to my Pink Heart Crystal, and through this act, my spirit will be reborn in another body. What you need to do, Diana, is deliver this letter to the Queen, my mother, and then leave the palace and look for me. Find me again, and guide me to reclaim my Crystal, so that I may unlock my memories again."

Diana stiffened at what she heard. "Small Lady… if you go through with this plan…"

"I know Diana. If I go through with this plan, then I will die."

"…" Silence reigned in the clearing. Finally, after a couple of minutes, Diana finally spoke up. "Small Lady… why is your death required in doing this? Is there any other way that we can…"

"There IS no other way Diana. My strength is limited by my Heart Crystal. Furthermore, my Crystal is bound to my mother's Imperial Silver Crystal. The only way to break that link is through death. If I infuse my Pink Heart Crystal with my life energy, then the crystal itself will change. It will become very similar in potential to the Imperial Silver Crystal, though I have no way of knowing how powerful it will become. It'll become something like it's twin, it's future, the Neo Silver Crystal. Only by unlocking my Crystal's maximum potential will I be able to grow strong enough to fight back, and regain control of my life. Just as the Sailor Senshi grew in power because of the discovery of their own planetary crystals, and just as my own mother grew stronger as her Silver Crystal grew in power, so too will I grow stronger as my own Crystal grows in strength, but for that to happen, my Crystal must be changed, and the link to my mother must be severed. By doing this it will loose its tie with the Imperial Silver Crystal and become a Silver Crystal in its own right."

There was a small pause. "I know it sounds a little crazy, Diana-chan, but I swear it's the - "

"How do I find you Small Lady? How do I find you when you are reborn?" she interrupted.

I paused at that. "I don't know Diana. All I know is that when the time comes, you will know who I am and where to find me, just as your mother Luna knew how to find my own mother when she first became Sailor Moon."

"Very well, I will do as you ask, but…" Diana seemed to hesitate. I cocked my head to the side. "What's wrong Diana?"

"Can… can I have a hug before… before…" it was then that I noticed that Diana was on the verge of breaking down. My heart broke all over again at the sight. I picked her up and gave her the biggest hug I could manage. She sniffled into my bosom as she spent the next few minutes crying. This would be our last hug, our goodbye until she found me in my next life. At last we separated. I gave her the letter that I wrote to the Queen, kissed her brow, and watched as Diana left the clearing. I gave her a good hour, to be sure that she made it back to the palace before I did the deed.

At last, the time had come. I sat down upon the earth and cupped my Pink Heart Crystal in my hands. I started to gather all of the energy within me. For perhaps five or ten minutes all I did was gather energy. Energy from within, energy from without. Soon the pond, the woods, myself, and the earth that supported us started glowing different shades of pink, purple, and white.

Finally, I knew it was time. With a deep breath, I started to channel all of the energy into the Crystal. The Crystal itself started to give off a glow as it started to change. It grew brighter and brighter as I channeled more and more energy into it. At last, after ten more minutes, the glow of the Crystal reached its crescendo and a beam of light shot up into the sky towards the full moon. Finally, the Crystal started to change shape, slowly morphing from the shape of a heart to the shape of a perfect sphere. When the change was finished, I started withdrawing the energy back in, but rather that bring it back within myself, I channeled it all back into the crystal. Every last drop of energy went into it, until finally, there was nothing left to give.

As the crystal dimmed in its glow, we both flashed one more time before giving off an explosion of light and in a ball of energy, let hell loose.

'So this is what it feels like to die…' are my last thoughts as light gives way to darkness…

-0-0-0-0-

On the distant planet of Saturn, a figure awoke with a start, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Usa-chan…" she whispered out, her voice rusty and hollow. She felt her friend's passing just as sure as she felt her rebirth. "What have you done…"

For the rest of that night, the only sound to come out of the Castle of Silence was the wracked sobs of it's sole resident.

-0-0-0-0-

At the Gates of Time, another figure watched the events in the clearing unfold. Sailor Pluto watched on, unable to react as she saw what was taking place before her.

'Usa-chan…' she thought mournfully. 'Why couldn't I see your pain before… why didn't you come talk to me…'

Tears streamed down her eyes as she watched on, unable to move, unable to act, unable to interfere.

-0-0-0-0-

A gasp escaped her lips as she skidded to a halt, lips trembling as she felt the link to her daughter fade away into nothingness.

She had been searching the palace grounds with her staff and guardians, hopping to find her daughter and apologize to her for what had happened earlier, and to spend some time with her on her birthday when it happened. Her husband halted as soon as he realized that his wife was no longer following.

"Serenity? What's wrong?"

He walked back to her, worry marring his handsome face as he saw her body tremble. He knew something was wrong, and her sobbing figure only confirmed it. Something had happened. "Serenity… Usako… what's wrong?"

"Endymion… Mamoru… I can't feel her anymore?" she replied. He frowned. "Can't feel who?"

"Chibiusa-chan… I can't feel her anymore. Her link is gone," she whispered. She turned to look at him. "Mamo-chan… there are only two things that can break that link…"

He closed his eyes. He knew perfectly well what those two things were that she was talking about and the meaning of what both of those events occurring meant. "Are you sure, Usako? Are you absolutely - "

"Yes! Yes I'm sure, it's gone! She's gone Mamo-chan… she's…" she couldn't finish the thought, couldn't finish that line of thinking. 'This isn't happening… this can't be happening…' she thought over and over again, desperately searching within her, trying to find event he smallest of traces of the link that bound her and her daughter together and finding not even a scrap. She let out a moan that bordered on a wail of desperation as she sought what wasn't there. There was no denying what she was feeling - Chibiusa, her daughter, was dead.

He embraced her as she cried silently into his chest, soaking his dress shirt in her tears. His own tears soon joined those of his wife as they mourned the passing of their world, their life. 'Chibiusa-chan…'

"Usagi-chan! Usagi-chan, come quick!" cried out a voice as they suddenly registered the sound of rushed footsteps. They turned to see two figures rushing towards them, one clad in a green sailor fuku, and another in blue.

"Makoto-chan? Ami-chan? What have you found?" asked Usagi in a raspy voice as she wiped the tears from her face.

"The moon Usagi-chan," gasped out Sailor Mercury as she screeched to a halt in front of them. "Look at the moon quick!"

They found a nearby window and looked with astonished eyes at the thick beam of pure light that connected the moon to the land outside and the force of energy that was being unleashed to the surrounding area.

"By the spirit of Selene…" whispered Usagi in total shock, her eyes red and puffy as she stared at what she knew was probably caused by her daughter, "… what have you done, Small Lady…"

-0-0-0-0-

At last, the light show dimmed down and finally died out. As the light left the clearing, the wind rustled through the trees that were left untouched by the mayhem that had taken place earlier. The clearing was empty. Neither the girl nor the glowing crystal that were present before were there. Tsukino Usagi II, Princess Small Lady Serenity, but more commonly known as Chibiusa, had finally moved on. Her rebirth will mark the birth of a new era of Senshi.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Well, there it is, my first timid attempt at a Sailor Moon fic, and one that I hope I got right. It's a bit longer that I expected it to be, just over 5100 words, but there you have it. This is an experiment that I'm currently toying with. I have no clue if it's something that I might develop further or if I even wrote this piece right, as I've never written an SM fanfic before, so I'm sailing uncharted waters as it is with this prologue alone. I welcome all suggestions and comments, and hopefully, this story will evolve into something more. Until the next one folks!